Hey! I wrote another story! Can you believe it? Well, I was going to do another chapter to "I'll Always Be" but there's nothing! It must be a one-shot. lol. Besides, this song was in my head for Edward ever since I wrote "I'll Always Be". Songfic for "One Thousand Apologies" by Demon Hunter.
My Apology Pales
Chapter One
Edward's POV
As I walked through the woods, I knew she was following me. But I also knew she would give up eventually.
I could still see her face when I told her I was leaving.
The words I spoke to her stung me and I wished I hadn't had to say them. But as much as I loved her, I couldn't be selfish. She'd be better off without me.
Even though I'll neve get over her, I hope she'll get over me. I hate to think that I have hurt her.
If only there was some way I could apologize.
2 Months Later
"Alice, can you check on Bella?"
"Edward! You're finally out of your room! I missed you!"
She threw her arms around me in a fierce hug. I grimaced and waited fior her to pull away.
"Yes. I just need you to check on Bella for me," I answered in a gruff voice.
"Edward-"
"Alice! Please." I closed my eyes.
"Okay," Alice said.
I waited while she used her power to see Bella's future.
"Oh, Edward." She looked at me sadly.
"What did you see?" I demanded.
"She made dinner for Charlie and watched halfheartedly as he ate. She mainly only picked at her food. It looked like her mind was elsewhere. Charlie was talking to her. She answered as if she wasn't really listening. She's decided not to think about us so she can get on with her life, but she's going up to her room now. She's told herself not to cry."
"Do you see anything else?"
"I only see what happens when she makes a decision, Edward."
"I know." I sighed and went back to my room. It doesn't look like she's doing well.
I sat down and thought about what Alice saw.
I hoped Bella wouldn't change her mind about trying to get over me. Maybe hiding the stuff we gave her was a good idea. I tried to think about how much better her life would be without us there, but I could only think about how much I miss her and how much I hurt her when I said I was leaving. Once again, I found myself wishing I could apologize.
But it would be better if she never thought about me again.
I decided it might help if I wrote an apology note. Not to send to her, but just to write what I would say.
I got out some paper and started to write.
Bella, I'm sorry for leaving. It's just better this way
Sorry, Bella. Love, Edward.
I'm so sorry, if things were different
I wish I wasn't what I was. You deserve better, but I can't
I didn't want to go. You needed me to.
Forgive me, Bella
What was I thinking? I should just give up! Of course I couldn't say "forgive me." I could never ask her to do that. Never expect her to do that.
But what do I care what I write? I'm not going to send it.
OK. I'll just write my feelings
There you stood in disbelief,
trying all you could to see through these lies
And every word that I could breathe,
would find you more inclined to leave, but I tried. I tried.
And knowing what I've done to you,
with every thought you'd suffer through
My heart as black as evil can
And everything I could have been,
erased by what I wanted then
I couldn't think a lesser man
All the delicate ways
That I deepened our graves
My apology pales
Oh, the pain in your eyes
My regrets have never known such sorrow
Oh, the shame that you hide
Resolutions are the same tomorrow
So now I reap what I have sown, and any rapture I
had shown has bled dry
And I walked the streets alone, accepting the pain I'd
never known, as you died. You died.
Then I hurt myself to see it too, to feel the knife I put
in you
My heart as broken as my ways
I never should've let it pass, this fall was never meant
to last
The reason gone and damage stays
All the delicate ways
That I deepened our graves
My apology pales
Oh, the pain in your eyes
My regrets have never known such sorrow
Oh, the shame that you hide
Resolutions are the same tomorrow
All the delicate ways
That I deepened our graves
My apology pales
Oh, the pain in your eyes
My regrets have never known such sorrow
Oh, the shame that you hide
Resolutions are the same tomorrow
Oh, the pain in your eyes
My regrets have never known such sorrow
Oh, the shame that you hide
Resolutions are the same tomorrow
I finished and looked at what I wrote. Yeah, that was it. Exactly how I felt.
I looked at it closer. Why does that one paragraph repeat itself? It's almost like a...
Like a song.
An apology song to Bella.
Oh well. She needs to forget about me.
I looked at it one more time and tore it up. It was still locked in my photographic memory, but now I can be sure no one will find it and give it to her. But how I wish I could apologize.
Please review! I only got one review on my last story! It's not worth writing with no reviews!