Just about every ninja in the world had a safety blanket.
Oh, if you'd asked any one, they would either vehemently deny it or turn you into a smear of blood on the wall, but it was definitely true.
For instance, Hyuuga Neji's hair. Long, shiny, beautiful, envied by girls and guys alike, it was Neji's crowning glory. It also hadn't been cut since he was eight years old. Thanks to this, he often angsted about the high amount of split ends in his hair. He dared not go to a hairdresser's. This was because, at the tender age of eight, his uncle had taken him to a hairdresser's, and he'd told them "Just a few inches off the top." However, the man misunderstood him and cut off all except the first few inches. The trauma of losing his hair had affected him for years after, and he was still morbidly afraid of hairdressers.
Hatake Kakashi's Icha Icha books were a rather unorthodox blanky, but a blanky all the same. Wherever he went, his precious books were sure to follow. Most assumed they were just an acceptable form of perversion, but in an unexpected flash of genius, Naruto had seen them for what they truly were and threatened to destroy a tenet of his safety blanket forever, thus forcing Kakashi to let him pass the test.
Akimichi Chouji's came in the form of a packet of chips, and they were a damn good blanky too. They were always on hand, easy to keep hold of (with a little practice), and, of course, edible. Funnily enough, very few Akimichi had edible safety blankets, although they did all eat a lot. A skinny Akimichi was a dead Akimichi.
Nara Shikamaru's was probably the most intangible of all, thanks to their form. However, thanks to this, they were the safest blanky of the lot. None could destroy them. Most ninja seemed to not like his chosen comfort, but Shikamaru only ever really felt safe when there were clouds in the sky.
Sabaku no Temari's fan may have been somewhat outsize, but she wouldn't hear a word against it. It had been handed down through the women of her family for generations, and she was proud to continue the tradition for as long as she could. Oh, and it was probably one of the deadliest blankies around. Thanks, Mum.
Her younger brother Kankurou also had a very deadly blanket. Karasu, the puppet he carried on his back, could kill several men all by itself, but (and Kankurou would rather die than admit it) on cold, lonely nights in Konoha, he'd hug Karasu like a teddy and inhale the scent of home.
Nobody knew of Sabaku no Gaara's. At least, nobody who was still alive and breathing. It was always in the sand gourd, hidden away from prying brothers and sisters, although Temari swore blind that, when he'd dissolved his sand gourd in the Chuunin exams, she'd seen a flash of faded black fabric before it was hidden in the globe of sand. And, though none believed her, she was actually correct, for Gaara's blanky, was, in fact, an old baby blanky.
Funnily enough, Maito Gai and Rock Lee's were both the most obvious and least obvious at the same time. You could say they were hidden in plain sight, but you'd be wrong. After all, why on earth would they wish to hide their matching green jumpsuits?
Haruno Sakura's was an odd choice of blanky, since she could not take it onto the battlefield, for fear of it being killed (although really it was far more likely to be the killer, rather than the prey). She'd found it in an alleyway on her thirteenth birthday, when it was still just a sweet white kitten and she was still drooling over Sasuke. Now, though, she was so over Sasuke, and little Ramen (Naruto named him. Can you tell?) had turned into a cute killing machine, just like his owner. Except fluffier.
As it turned out, Uzumaki Naruto's was rather like hers, in the respect that it had never seen a battlefield. Many had laughed at its ridiculous appearance, but it was a potent comforter, especially after long trips to Suna. He'd come home, undress, put on his pyjamas, reverentially lay his sleeping hat on his head and go to sleep, safe in the knowledge that Home Is Where The Hat Is.
Uchiha Sasuke was something of a horror story, as he had never known the joys of safety blankies. What a sad case.
Kabuto, in all his wisdom, had figured out at an early age that safety blankies were a good idea. He'd searched for one, to no avail, until he was given a pair of glasses that he'd coveted for some time on his fourth birthday. They were the best present he'd been given in the sixteen years he'd lived for.
The legendary Sannin Orochimaru was another sad case. Admittedly nobody had ever teased him, but he also had a large hole in his understanding (or misunderstanding) of human nature.
When they still lived, the Sound Five were not sad cases. Tayuya had her flute, which was another deadly comfort, Sakon and Ukon had one another, Kidoumaru found comfort in every spider they happened across, Kimimaro's blanky was the mistaken belief that Orochimaru understood and trusted him. And Jiroubo? Jiroubo had always known that, if Tayuya swore and he reprimanded her for it, everything was right with the world.
Though Umino Iruka had given up missions in favour of teaching a long time ago, he still treasured rivers and lakes for their swimming value. As with all the other blankies, it was restricted to him and him only. If his first choice of swimming hole was already occupied, he'd sneak off and find another, more peaceful place. And even if he did say so himself, he swam like a dolphin.
Jiraiya was something of a Johnny-come-lately in the world of safety blankies. For the first twelve years of his life, he'd considered himself above all that, until the day he happened to find a handy knothole in the wall to the women's bath house. Now, whenever times were rough, you'd find him peeping through the knothole, taking comfort in the general lack of female clothing.
Contrary to popular rumour, Jiraiya was not Tsunade's blanky. No, neither was Shizune, much to the disappointment of all the Konoha males who happened to like hot lesbian fantasies. Truth be told, her safety blanky was something that she saved up these days. Generally, she did her job day after day, on her own time, without her blanky. However, sometimes it all got to be too much, and that was when she would transform into a little girl and run shouting through the streets of Konoha, leaving everyone in her wake to wonder who the screaming blonde kid was. By now, most of her staff knew not to ask about the times when she came in from the dark breathless.
Tenten may not have been as lucky as the other genin in some respects, but she knew that she had something that none of the other genin had. It was a small, sparkly blue glass egg that she'd found in the glassmaker's refuse bin one day. After the first time she accidentally dropped it in battle, she started keeping it in her weapons scroll. Whenever she's really worried about something, like when Neji was in hospital with just a toe-hold on life, she takes it out of the scroll and polishes it with her shirt for luck. It's now about three quarters of its original size. By Tenten's estimate, if she keeps going that way, her lucky egg'll only last for eighteen more years. This isn't a very comforting thought.
Yamakana Ino's currently in between security blankets. Her very first blanky was Sakura, who was her bestest friend in the whole wide world. They thought they were so awesome, the unbeatable team, that nothing could break them apart. It was rare that anybody would speak of one without the other, like they were Siamese twins or something. Then Sasuke became her blanky, and her and Sakura became worst enemies. Now Sasuke's gone, and she's had far more time to think than she would've asked for, given the choice.
As everybody knows, Inuzuka Kiba and Akamaru are always close together, bordering on inseparable. You'd probably guess that they're one another's safety blankets, and you'd be one hundred percent correct.
Hyuuga Hinata has never told anybody, but secretly, whenever she's scared, worried or angry, she runs as far away from the Hyuuga compound as she can get, hides in a bush beside the men's bath house and practices her Byakugan techniques. Hiashi doesn't know about this, so he thinks that the marked improvement in her ocular jutsu is thanks to Kurenai's training. She hasn't the heart to tell him that perversion is her real teacher.
You could fill a book with the various safety blankies of Aburame Shino, and then some. However, top of the list would be drawing. If he's stressed, happy or simply can't be stuffed doing anything else, he takes out his pad and draws. Bugs are favourite, closely followed by dinosaurs and, of late, his new friends. He's also quite attached to his dark glasses, even if they aren't exactly unique to him. It's just that he's grown rather fond of them, is all.
It's probably wisest not to ask what Asuma's is within earshot of Kurenai, although it's always amusing to watch her chasing him around, demanding that he return her panties or find work in the Hyuuga compound as a eunuch (at which Hinata blushes and Hiashi goes nuclear).
As for Kurenai herself, she seems to be quite attached to a certain jacket of hers. Go figure.
This first chapter is officially dedicated to the scarlet butterfly, for writing me a One Piece fic featuring the wonderful pairing of Johnny/Yosaku. All you OP fans out there, check out her writingz, coz they officially rock!
(coughs)
Okay, now I'm done author-whoring, I'd like to say that a few of the safety blankies mentioned above are part of my personal fanon (like Temari's fan having been handed down through the generations and Hinata being a closet perv) and a few of them are just random little jokes. Kthxbai.