This story contains some sexual content, so if you are offended by that sort of thing you probably shouldn't read. I don't own HSM.
8 March-I made a few relatively small changes. I think it makes Ryan a little more consistent characterwise
My shift at the Evans' club had finished and I was organizing my music from that day when Troy, still in his waiter's uniform came into the room.
"Hey Playmaker," he said with a bright smile. "Oh, hey Troy. What are you still doing here?" I was usually one of the last to leave, as I often stayed behind after my shift finished to play the piano in peace, so seeing Troy was a bit of a surprise. "Just had to take care of a few things," he told me casually.
"Oh," I responded, and an awkward silence followed. Even though Troy was a nice guy, and one of the first people to really befriend me, we had never been that close. We were just too different. He seemed to shine at everything without even trying; I had long ago made a conscious decision to stay behind the scenes.
"So are you going to the Evans' party on Friday?" he asked me after a few seconds. "What party?"
"Well, it's Sharpay's party really. She didn't tell you about it?"
"I guess she was a bit busy telling me what songs to play, when to play them, how to play them," I said, unable to restrain an eye roll.
"Yeah, she can be pretty…high maintenance," Troy said with a chuckle, "well, anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to go with me," he asked. The question took me by surprise until he very quickly added "I mean, as friends. Not like…well, you know," he said, laughing off the idea of viewing me in a romantic light.
I wasn't annoyed that Troy didn't see me like that. I didn't have any interest in him either. I mean, okay, he's pretty good looking…well, gorgeous is more like it, but definitely not my type. What really annoyed me was the fact that no guys seemed to see me as anything more than a friend. Taylor has Chad. Gabriella has Ryan; Sharpay has Zeke (recently she's been going through a 'hate that tall-basketball-playing-chef' period, but it's only a matter of time until she can't get enough of him). But at the end of the day, I was still just Kelsi, the plain girl who liked to write music. What I wouldn't give for someone to be able to look at me and see…something more.
"So, what do you think?" Troy asked, still wearing his trademark smile. "Do you think Sharpay will mind me being there?" I asked.
"I doubt she'll even realize you're there. Pretty much the whole school is going. Even the ones who didn't get an invite will probably find a way in, like going with someone who was invited. So what do you think?"
Neither parties nor Sharpay were really my thing, but Troy had the most adorable look on his face. It was the one he used to use on Gabriella when he wanted her to do something, and it was humanly impossible to refuse. So, being only human, I accepted.
That week seemed to go by way too quickly. Before I knew it, Friday had rolled around, and it was just an hour before Troy was supposed to pick me up. Normally, picking out a hat was the largest part of getting ready for me. The rest was just a matter of throwing on whatever clothes I saw first and running a brush through my hair. But tonight I was feeling oddly girlish, and had gone through my closet several times in search of the perfect outfit, something that might make me stand out just a little bit. Unfortunately, everything I owned seemed to scream "I want to blend in."
After trying on dozens of outfits, some of which I hadn't worn in years (for good reason), and feeling pretty shallow for caring this much about how I looked, I settled on an outfit that, considering all the time I put into it, was pretty similar to my normal clothes: simple jeans and a t-shirt, though both were a bit more form fitting than normal. Of course, I topped the outfit off with a hat. After far too much deliberation, I settled on one a plaid design, one of my favorite. Taking a final look at myself in the mirror, I wasn't exactly thrilled, but it also wasn't the mess that I usually saw as my reflection.
Troy arrived just as the clock turned to 8:10, ten minutes later than I had expected. Normally I can't stand when people are even a few minutes late, but the rules always seem to be different for Troy, and after flashing the same smile that had convinced me to go in the first place, I had forgotten any anger that I might have had, and we went to his car.
"Hey Troy," I asked a few minutes after we had gotten into his car, "why did you invite me?" I didn't want to sound too blunt, but it had been bugging me for a while. I mean, even though we were just going as friends, I still didn't see why he chose me over any of the other possibilities (pretty much every teenage girl in New Mexico). He was quiet for a few seconds before responding, "I don't know, I guess I didn't feel like going with someone who'd hang over me the whole night…did you not want to go with me?" he asked, playfully giving his wounded puppy dog look. "Yeah, definitely…should be a lot of fun," I told him, only half believing myself.
When we got to the Evans' house, I was pretty shocked. The size did not impress me anymore, since I was over fairly often with Ryan, always as a "friend" of course. I was sure he would never see my as anything more, especially now that he was with Gabriella. This had long been a regret of mine, since I had secretly seen him as much more than that for quite a while. What did surprise me was that it could fit this many people. Cars were parked all up and down the street, and the nearest free spot was more than a block away, but even from there you could clearly hear sounds from the party. While the size of the party made me more than a little nervous, it seemed to excite Troy, and I struggled to keep up with him during the walk from his car to the party.
He casually opened the front door and was immediately met by a crowd of people who dropped everything they were doing just to say hi to the high school superstar. Not surprisingly, most of them ignored me completely. Many didn't even seem to want to talk to Troy, merely to be in his presence. After what seemed like hours, the crowd around us thinned to Troy's (and I guess mine) closest friends: Chad and Taylor, Jason and Zeke with their dates, who were both far too gorgeous (though I took some comfort in the fact that they both seemed to have covered themselves in makeup). I saw Sharpay dancing a few feet away, rapidly going between partners in an attempt to find one that would keep up with her, a futile quest.
The only people in our group that didn't flock to Troy were Ryan and Gabriella, though this was hardly a surprise. As I scanned the dance floor for them, a small shot of jealously washed over me. I had stupidly assumed that he would forever be my secret crush, until the magical day that I could finally share my feelings for him. But everything changed when Troy started obsessing over his future and pushed Gabriella away. She ran straight into Ryan's arms and by the time Troy was back to normal, Ryan and Gabriella had officially started dating and I was quite certain that my magic day would never come.
When I finally did see the couple, it was not on the dance floor, but rather in a relatively secluded corner. I noticed with a feeling of guilty pleasure that they didn't look to be enjoying themselves very much. In fact, it seemed like they were fighting about something. It was too loud to be certain, but when they turned from one another with angry looks, my suspicion was confirmed.
Throughout this time, Troy had been actively chatting with everyone. I tried to nod at the right moments but I'm sure everyone noticed that I had little interest in the conversation. I wasn't even sure what they were talking about…basketball, perhaps?
A few minutes later everyone dispersed to the dance floor and Troy turned to me and asked, "so, you want to dance a bit?"
"Yeah, sure," I told him with no conviction. If I liked dancing I would have been in the musicals, not the composer of them. But it actually wasn't horrible. Troy was a really good dancer (I know, Troy being good at something, big surprise), which helped me relax a little. For the first time all night I was actually having fun.
But this ended after just a few songs, when Troy told me that he was going to go get us something to drink. I nodded, and was soon left alone in the sea of people, wandering around aimlessly until I managed to find a way out of the herd. A few minutes passed with no sign of Troy. I was again wondering why I had come to this party. Being stuck in a loud, hot room with what seemed like hundreds of strangers was hardly my idea of a good time.
I decided to walk around a little. If nothing else, it would get me away from the music. Though I'm not sure I can consider it music, as it was little more than a loud, screeching synthesizer playing over someone rapping indistinguishably. As a composer and a human being with ears, I was offended.
My wandering eventually took me to the second story, where I knew Ryan's bedroom was. I don't know why, but I was drawn there, even though I was sure Ryan was downstairs with Gabriella, probably laughing over what had been a simple misunderstanding. But it turns out I was wrong, and when I cracked the door open, a figure sitting on the bed jumped up quickly. Opening the door fully, I saw that it was Ryan, looking worse than I had ever seen him.
"Kelsi?" he asked, futilely trying to make his mouth go into a smile. "Hey Ry…why aren't you downstairs?"
"Why aren't you?" he responded, obviously dodging the question. "Because unlike you, I hate dancing," I reminded him with a smile. "Oh, right," he said and became quiet again. I decided that the direct approach wouldn't work, and took a different strategy. "Why aren't you with Gabriella?" Ryan remained silent, but he made an almost involuntary motion toward the wall that tipped me off. For the first time, I noticed a faint but distinct moan of pleasure coming from the other side. It sounded like Gabriella's voice, and was followed by a low grunt that I was positive came from Troy. Tons of thoughts were going through my head: shock at what they were probably doing, sympathy for Ryan, anger at Gabriella and Troy, and underneath it all there was a selfish tinge of hope.
"Is that…"
"Yep."
"And, are they…"
"Sounds like it," Ryan said obviously not wanting to have to hear the words. "But…how? I mean, I know how…" I said with a nervous laugh, "But why? I mean, they…and you and her are…Why?"
Ryan apparently understood my muddled words and gave a slight shrug. "We got in a fight over…I don't even remember what. Next time I saw her they were all over each other. You can guess the rest."
"I'm really sorry Ryan," I said honestly. Despite my admitted happiness that it looked like him and Gabriella were done with, it was overshadowed by pity for him and fury at the couple on the other side of the wall.
"I'm so stupid…why didn't I see this coming?" he asked distantly, ignoring what I had said. "She was single. You can't blame yourself for falling for a girl who had broken up with her boyfriend," I said logically. "Yeah but it's Troy and Gabriella. Of course they weren't going to stay apart for long."
"Well, if it helps, I think she's making a huge mistake." For the first time, Ryan looked into my eyes. We were both surprised that I had spoken this openly on any subject, especially such a personal one. "Come on," he said as he again turned away "like any girl would rather have a drama geek like me over…Troy Bolton."
"I can think of one who would," I told him as my face turned into a deep scarlet. "Thanks," he said in little more than a whisper.
Almost subconsciously, I reached my hand out and touched his arm, causing us both to look into each other's eyes. Initially, he withdrew, causing me to do the same. "I'm sorry," I muttered while closely examining my shoes, expecting Ryan to get angry that I was flirting with him just minutes after he had been dumped. But his voice was much softer than I expected, almost apologetic. "No….it's not you. I guess I'm still just a little bit shaken."
"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked him. "How could she do this?" Ryan interjected, so I guess he did. He went on for a couple more minutes, first sounding very intense, though he slowly calmed down. Beyond the occasional "yeah" or "I know what you mean," I didn't speak much during this time, preferring to let Ryan vent, until he stopped, and it was implied that I should give some response. "I don't know how this happened. I mean…this isn't like Gabriella, or Troy," I said in what I hoped what a sympathetic voice, "I guess sometimes, someone feels so strongly about other people that they completely ignore everything else." as I was speaking, I realized that I was no longer describing Gabriella, but myself. I noticed that these words seemed to have a calming effect on both of us, and we edged closer. " and sometimes, they forget that their actions affect others too," still closer, "and they just…" I never finished that sentence, because at that moment we grabbed hands with a light force and both gulped deeply. Right then, I knew that I wasn't going to be leaving his room unchanged.
As if something greater than either of us was controlling our actions, we lunged at each other at the same time and crashed our lips together. I have to admit, until now I was pretty inexperienced with this sort of thing…okay, completely inexperienced. Fortunately, it seemed that Ryan was taking the initiative, and it wasn't long before I felt his tongue press lightly against my lips, seeking entrance.
I eagerly accepted, and our tongues soon caressed each other gently. It was an interesting sensation to feel for the first time, but I quickly decided that it was one that I liked.
After a few minutes, though it was hard to keep track of time, I had started to grow more comfortable, and allowed myself to become lost in the situation. The fact that Troy and Gabriella were just feet away doing something very similar didn't cross my mind, neither did the several hundred other people under the same roof. We were in our own world, and it was built for two.
At nearly the same time, we decided that simply kissing was not enough, and put our hands to work, running up and down each other's bodies. I was pleasantly surprised to find that he was more muscular than I had anticipated. As I allowed my hand to become attached to his chest I could tell that his skinny frame was deceiving, and a lifetime of dancing had done his body good. As for his part, I wasn't even sure what he was doing, but it felt incredible. His hands felt so strong and confident that they caused me to be more confident as well. I slowly worked my way down his body, nearing his groin, which I noticed had gained a sizeable bulge.
When he realized what I was doing, he stopped abruptly, much to my surprise. He lightly touched my chin and directed my gaze towards his. "Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked with a dead serious look in his eye. His intensity scared me at first, but we were so absorbed in each other's bodies that we couldn't stop now. "Absolutely," I responded with a smile, and we continued. I placed my hand over his jeans, tentatively at first, though I grew more daring. Ryan also increased his onslaught, as he once again kissed me and allowed his hands to roam into my shirt. He lightly massaged me over my bra, sweetly torturing me by not allowing his hands to contact my skin. I nearly cried out, begging him to go further, but managed to restrain myself. Instead, I returned the favor, and started to rub him harder, though my hands remained outside of his jeans. We were both moaning loudly into each other's mouths. I was already highly aroused, and could feel myself growing moist.
But just as I was preparing to go further down on him and give proper attention to his groin, he withdrew. "Am I doing something wrong?" I asked apprehensively. "No, you're great," he said with a sweet smile. "But…are you sure we should be doing this?"
"Of course," I told him. Lust had overtaken me, and all I desired was physical and emotional closeness with him. I tried to advance on him again, but much to my dismay, he halted me. "This just…doesn't feel right," he told me. "But, I love you Ryan," I said desperately. To be honest, I was beginning to agree with him. But I was tired of being the girl that everyone looked over. I know it sounds selfish but for just one night, I wanted to feel, well…special. "Look, I don't know exactly how I feel right now." My face dropped visually. "I mean, I really do like you," he said quickly. "And I don't want to lose you. But I'm still messed up about the whole Gabriella thing, and if I were to go on it would be to get back at her. I couldn't do that to you." (Inside I was screaming "Its okay with me!") "We both know that we shouldn't do this," he continued, "I've been bitter all night, and I don't want my first time to be because of spite, especially not at my sister's lame party. And especially not one room away from Troy and Gabriella. But when we are ready, it's going to be about us…no one else."
"Why do you have to be so smart?" I asked him with a smile, though I found myself unable to look him in the eye. As an answer, he lightly grasped my chin and directed my gaze toward his own, then gave me a small kiss. Lighter and more innocent than the previous ones, but also more caring.
Apparently thinking the same thing, we noticed the other's hat, which had fallen off in the "activities." I picked up his, and he grabbed mine, then we placed them on each other's heads. "So you want to go back to the party?" Ryan asked. "I really, really don't," I told him.
"Okay," he responded, looking happier than he had all night. The rest of the night is still a blur for me, though an incredible one. For hours, we stayed up, talking and laughing until we couldn't keep our eyes open any longer. We fell asleep at the same time, our arms locked in an embrace.
I wrote this all pretty late so there could definitely be some errors. Please review with any and all criticisms. spelling, grammar, story, stylistic things, whatever. I'd especially like to hear what you thought about how it ended, because I had planned on a very different ending. Also, I'm awful with titles so if you have any ideas for that I'd appreciate your thoughts. Thanks for reading this far and I hope to hear your opinions!