On the 18th February X784, one madman decided to encroach himself upon the universe of Fairy Tail. Let it be known that the following events depicted in this story are (unfortunately) fiction only but (hopefully) quite hilarious. The characters, places and arcs of Fairy Tail are not owned by this madman either but he does own himself and his OC...And maybe a few other places and names not otherwise mentioned in the original canon...

So yes, it's an OC fic, but please do stay and give it a chance, you might have a laugh or even a cry I don't know your individual temperaments so I'll leave it up to you. I hope I can make it a long series depending on popularity and such so let's see how far I can take this one. Bon Appetite and enjoy the first chapter of my Fairy Tail OC-fic.

~My Fairy~

Unfortunate Beginnings

Ah...Magnolia...

The scenery is even better than the brochure. I can't believe I finally took the plunge and moved here! Now I can hopefully set myself up with a nice career and find a beautiful-

I'm in the middle of a hold-up...

"NOBODY DO ANYTHING FUNNY!" A bunch of banana shaped nose thugs are holding hand-shaped rifles at our heads. I probably would have laughed at the sheer ridiculousness of this image before my eyes but I'm really not sure what those things might shoot out – and I'd rather not try and find out.

"KYAH!" One woman is lifted roughly by one of the robbers.

"Alright give us all your jewel now or she gets it." One of the ugly robbers barks out to the rest of us.

I scan my eyes across the crowd of terrified citizens. It's clear that these guys mean (monkey) business. I heard rumours that a famous wizard guild resides within this town. Maybe they will come and save us.

No...I can't simply wait for others to hopefully come. Besides Wizards? I mean sure I've done some Googling about the uses of Magic around this place but a Wizard is supposed to be an old man with a beard rolling down his legs like a long carpet and a huge wooden staff to shoot lighting and other epic stuff out.

Good thing I have a special talent of my own.

Oh yeah...Did I forget to mention. I can use magic too. Yeah I'm totally gonna mess up these thugs – you watch!

"UNHAND THAT GIRL YOU VILE FIENDS!" I thrust my arm forward as I make a heroic pose with my foot forward and my hips leaning to one side.

"Get a load of this guy!" A bunch of the snot-nosed morons snigger amongst themselves. "So you wanna be a hero pal? Go ahead and see what happens to idiots who mess with us from the Bananaramafrittatahata Dark Guild! HAHAHA!"

Yeah, I'll show you guys. Just wait and see...You'll be shitting bricks when I'm done with you. "No one has ever lived after I've used this power...Perhaps if you repent now, I'll offer you my mercy."

"Tch. This guy's clearly bananas" One of the monkey-men whispered to another.

"Please don't do it young man." An older man from the town tugs the hem of my jeans. "These guys are from the Bananaramafrittatahata Dark Guild – it's not worth fighting these dangerous people!"

"Heh! Don't worry Gramps, I'll get rid of these pricks!" I gave the old man a thumbs up and a cheesy grin with extra sheen.

"Well go on boy! Show us what you're 'deadly power' is..." The Bananaramafrittatahatians start jumping up and down howling like crazy – oh well you get the picture.

"Yeah give us your worst!"

"GO ON!"

"Hurry up you loser!"

I curl my fingers and breath out slowly as I focus in my warrior stance. "Alright guys, you asked for it, prepare to enter a world of pain..."

The air slows to a halt as time slows to a tense strain. A falling leaf cuts our vision as I pounce on my prey. They won't even see me coming! The leaf cuts in half as I dash past, I can see the hope and anticipation rising in the hostages faces. They're relying on me...I can save them and receive medals and accolades for my efforts...

/?/?/?/

"So how were you feeling at that point" The horde of reporters crowd around the stage as bright camera flashes assault my eyes.

"Well you see..." I maintain an air of confidence as I rib the tips of my fingers together. "Obviously I was quite annoyed that these men were ruining my day. I had to wait an extra ten minutes before I could find a place to have coffee."

"HAHAHAHA! That's so hilarious, you should do stand-up"

"I know eh? Well I better go back out onto the streets and fight for justice and such."

"YAY!" The journos begin chatting amongst themselves with huge flapping grins. "We can always rely on that man!"

/?/?/?/

"HAHHHHH!" Their faces have hardly any time to react as I am about to unleash my fatal technique on these weaklings.

The energy builds up in my hands as I can no longer hold the burning fury dwelling inside of me, I must release – I must destroy...

"TAKE THIS!"

…

…

…

"What was that?" One of the men turns to the other.

"Yeah it felt like he might have scratched me or something." The other one says quite confused.

"Ow I think he might have left marks on me." One of the Bananaramafittatahatians looks down at the four diagonal scars lining his chest.

"Is it bleeding?" One of the men asks him.

"Um...NO I don't think so."

My whole body loses colour as my jaw drops. They were completely unaffected by my special ability...

...My ability to sharpen my fingernails at will that is...

"UNGH!" I feel a hard whack from the butt end (or possibly elbow) of one the rifles as my face grinds against the hard ground.

Crap.

"If that's all, then I think we'll take your life first now buddy!" The lead gang member lifts me by the hair as he inserts the barrel (well finger) of the rifle into my mouth.

Tears suddenly sting the corner of my eyes as I finally come to the realisation. I'm actually gonna die. I always thought I was gonna die holding down my pee in one of those water drinking contests, but this was not how I planned my end.

I really would like to live. Come on God, Buddha, Shiva, Allah (err well maybe not that one)! Can't you give a guy a second chance? I would have loved to at least seen a few things around here for a while, maybe get to know the people, they seem friendly enough when they're not pointing a gun in your mouth.

"So long kid, maybe next time you'll realise it doesn't pay to be a hero – oh wait HAHAHA!" The curly nosed man's cruel joke tore my heart even further as he began gripping his index finger around the trigger.

This is it Benny, such is life I guess...Oh dammit and I didn't even get a few good lines in for my final words. I think 'ungh' was the last word I uttered; a loud grunting noise – so that's how people will remember me.

Goodbye Laura (awww great I don't have one of them either!)...

...

"SKY DRAGON'S ROAR!"

"WHA! WAGH!" Suddenly just as I was about to fare-thee-well to this fantasy world, a powerful gust of wind picks up the menacing thieves and sends them flying away, far away over the mountains never to step foot in Magnolia again one would hope.

I take a few precautionary blinks to make sure I'm not dreaming or haven't reached heaven (or hell for that matter). Nope, definitely still alive, I can feel the fluid swimming around my legs right now.

"I ...was...saved..." I have to utter out each word individually just for extra emphasis. Then as a crunching footstep makes its way towards me I see the silhouette of my saviour blocking out the sun in its tremendous and domineering form.

The amazing warrior who literally blew away these thugs and did the job I was not powerful enough to do. Long blue locks cast over the warriors face as he leans down with his thin legs and small framed body.

The hostages suddenly burst into applause, grateful of the blue-haired hero's arrival "Thank you for saving us Wendy Marvell."

Yes thanks for-WHA-WHA-WAIT WHO WHERE WHY-HOW WHAAAAAT!

My hero's tiny little face is finally revealed as the wind weakens, the blue curtain pulling back to reveal large, round brown eyes and a wide gaping smile. "Hello friend...I hope those mean guys didn't hurt you?"

つづく

Next episode I meet the mysterious girl who has saved my life. What other cruel and unusual predicaments will I find myself in? Don't miss the next exciting chapter!