Title: It's history
Fandom: Heroes
Character: Claire
Words: 732
Summary: Even the future can be hard. If you have a rough past to deal with.
Disclaimer: Don't own anything. Except for the plot. [Or lack of]
A/N: A little bit of 'nothing-to-do'-time during work never hurt anyone before, did it?
The last words he ever spoke to her.
'Just be brave Claire-Bear. Just be brave'
It was all he said to her before he got himself shot. (She still blames him)
Sometimes she sits down in her room and thinks of her father. Sometimes she remembers the words as if he said them to her yesterday. Sometimes she swears she can still see his intense stare from across the room like he used to stare at her back then.
But on other days she tries to picture him, but she can't remember what kind of glasses he wore (if she remembers at all). On other days she tries to remember what it felt like to hug him, but fails completely. And not a long ago she even had a day she forgot she used to have a dad entirely.
It wasn't 'till Sylar showed up ('cause he always shows up) she remembered. And she felt ashamed for forgetting, because nowadays no one seems to be able to shut up about him. Because nowadays there doesn't go a day by without the mentioning of him. (Without her thinking of him)
It's like no one can seems to forget about him. Like he is tattooed to their brains. Like he was the meaning of their life. Like he gave it a purpose. (Rubbish of course, she thinks to herself)
So everytime Sylar stops by and tells her a funny story about her dad (preferably one of her favourites, because by now she knows them all) she tries to picture him as real as he was the last day she saw him. As realistic as he was when he said those last words to her.
Covered in someone else's blood, glasses broken, bruised and bewildered.
So whenever she wakes up in the middle of the night covered in sweat and filled with fear (which happens more often than she willing to admit), it's easier to see him - remember him - as the protective and loving father he tried so hard to be and not as the deceiving lying scumbag she thought he really was.
So everytime Gretchen holds her and wraps her arms around her she imagines him holding her in the exact way. With love and affection.
But when she is honest (and she swore she'd be after he died. She swore she wouldn't become him.) she never thought he was much of a father. If she'd be really honest, he caused her more pain and misery than the Sylar from way back then used to cause her. To be honest, she probably is more happier now than she ever was in his presence. (Which causes her to bow in shame actually)
And she does the same thing she does every time she thinks of her father (which happens often). She calls Gretchen and Sylar (Not Peter, because he reminds her to much of her father with the ridiculous protective way he acts around her) and they share stories, laugh over dinner and they all fall asleep on the couch - Claire wrapped in Gretchen's arms - after watching one movie too many while drinking one drink too many.
And in the morning she always is the first to wake up and she watches them.
Releasing a breath she didn't know she was holding she finally dares to say it.
She's content.
A word she loathes.
A word she envies, because she heard so many people use it in the past, but was never able to use it herself.
That's when she realises what her father really meant.
Being brave doesn't always mean kicking someone else's butt. Sometimes it's as easy as excepting your life as it is.
Seeing the challenge of the day: Survive it.
Seeing the goal of the day: Being just as happy at the end as you was when you started
And as Claire closes her eyes and pulls Gretchen closer to her and grabs Sylar's hand with her free hand she dares to whisper it one last time (promising herself never to use it again in her entire life).
'Content.'