I have been working on this piece for a little bit now, I really love this one-shot, probably my second favorite, after Deadly Dance, and it has a happy ending with some soft lemon at the end… HAHA soft lemon, I kill myself. Well read on lovely people and don't forget to REVIEW
Oh, simple, simple Harry. You don't love him, how could you? He's arrogant and selfish and petty and evil and so much more. He's gorgeous and sexy and has the most stunning smile. Silly, silly, Harry, how could you love him? He's so much better then you, so much better, silly Harry. Of course you don't love him, simple little child. He's dark and a smart ass and too complicated and a complete puzzle and so vain. You could never love him, simple little child.
Of course he's easy to lust for, of course, but is he easy to love, is he easy to understand, to care for, to be brave for, to smile for, to hug, to kiss, to laugh for, to give up your heart? Is he, simple child, is he?
Harry watched as Draco turned his back on him and kissed Pansy. It hurt, but he had to bear it, they weren't supposed to show their emotions for each other. It was the rule.
Rule 1- Never care
Harry just smirked and whispered some malicious thing to the Gryffindors about Draco and the rest of the Slytherins. He watched as Pansy made out with his enemy, he rolled his eyes on the outside but felt like he should fall dead on the floor.
"C'mon guys, lets go, I don't feel like watching a bad porno, that's what the 5th years are for."
Everyone around him laughed, he was known to have a crude sense of humor once in awhile. It surprised everyone at first but they got over it because it was funny.
"Nice one, Harry, just don't tell ''Mione, she'll throw a fit."
Ron snickered out and Harry just nodded, laughing as well.
Rule 2- Never let your mask down
It was so much easier to pretend he found it all so funny, that every potions accident and every Quiditch victory was hilarious. But, he never really laughed, or really gave it his all. Most of the time he just felt hollow, and it wasn't an I'm-going-to-kill-myself kind of hollow, but more of an I-miss-you hollow. The sad thing was that he could miss Draco all he wanted; he was never going to get him back. Because you can't get back what you never had.
"Hey, Ginny, out for a night stroll, eh? Isn't it a bit chilly for that? I just might have to take away points for that."
Ginny smiled and blushed a little, letting Harry walk with her, he handed her his cloak and smiled softly at her. He told her good night and started to walk off but not before Ginny kissed him on the cheek lightly. She walked off hastily. On the outside Harry smiled, on the inside he felt like he was cheating on something he never deserved.
Rule 3- Don't let emotions get in the way
Harry growled and shot another curse at Draco, this duel was getting stupid. He didn't even remember why it started, something about his mother and a female dog… oh yeah, now he remembered.
"Crucio!"
Draco yelled and Harry barely dodged it, but even if he was hit he knew it wouldn't have hurt because the stream of magic was a weak red. Harry didn't smirk or taunt him about how weak it was because that would be pointing out that they didn't hate each other enough, and that was breaking the rules.
"You think you're all that don't you, Potter?! Well I know better, I know more about you then anyone in this room and you'd beg me to not tell anyone. Would you like that, Potter, to be on your knees, begging me for mercy."
Harry just stared at him and felt something in him rise, such anger filled him.
"I'm sure your other boy-toys can do that for you, Malfoy!"
He was well aware he didn't deny that he wouldn't want to be at his knees for Draco but he was so damn angry that he didn't care. He wasn't angry at the words, he was angry because he knew that it would never happen. Because them being together would be against everything placed on them, every regulation, every hope, every doubt, every little detail, every fucking RULE!
Rule 4- Never hope
Harry felt himself break down, he was so weak! Why did he care if Draco was probably going to die, was going to give his life for a half-blood that didn't give a fuck about his followers. WHY? Damn-it because he love-no, no, no, no, no! He didn't feel anything for the blonde; he couldn't feel anything for the blonde. Because feeling would be hoping. Merlin, he was trying to hard to not hope for something that could never be, but it was damn hard.
"Oi! Harry, what's wrong, mate? You seem so down ever since that fight with the ferret, don't let him get to you."
Ron patted him on the back comfortingly and Harry mustered up a thankful smile and then watched as he walked over to Hermione, he kissed her on the cheek and let her curl up against him. Oh, how he hated them right then. They were allowed to show their love, their caring for each other! Damn them, damn them all.
"Seamus, get a room!"
Harry looked over to where Seamus and Dean were making out, Seamus just smirked and dragged a flustered Dean up to the boys dorm. Even Seamus was allowed to show him affection for Dean, it wasn't as if the Wizarding World was against being gay or being lesbian, it was who you're being gay/lesbian with. Two Gryffindors, no one's going to look twice, heck, a Gryffindor and Ravenclaw, no one would throw a fit. But a Gryffindor and a Slytherin, there would be hell to pay. Because doing that would be a traitor, a dirty, lying, filthy, bastard traitor. Not that Harry cared if he was called that, it was nothing new. What he cared was that he didn't want to put his heart out on a limb where Draco could squash it because he had to, not wanted to.
"Admit it, Won-Won, you enjoy the show, it turns you on!"
Seamus yelled from the balcony of the boys dorms, and everyone laughed as Ron spluttered and tried to throw a book at Seamus, thus being hit in the head by Hermione for not treating books with "proper respect". Whatever that was. It was times like these that Harry could simply fade into the back round and just watch, Merlin, he envied them, he envied them so much.
Rule 5- Never give in
Harry stared at the fine edge of the blade; it gleamed on the floor of Myrtles bathroom. He wanted to pick it up, wanted to slash his wrists until he felt utterly helpless and weak. Everything he couldn't feel.
"Potter, don't, it's not worth it…"
Harry turned around and saw Draco standing there, leaning against the prefect bathroom wall, his robe was off and he was wearing a muggle t-shirt. But all Harry saw was the scars on his wrists, all old.
"I hate you, Draco,"
Never had Harry told such a worthless lie, because he knew that Draco knew otherwise. They both knew what a lie that was, how much he wanted to ravish him, to kiss him, to hug him, to… love him. What a forbidden word that was, love.
"To love, Harry, we must be able to chose, and we don't have choices, never."
Draco said, reading Harry's mind, watching as the blade grew duller and duller with each word.
"DAMNIT!"
Harry yelled, surprising both of them by punching the floor, letting his hand bleed out. It felt numbing, it felt good.
"Why, Draco, why don't we have choices!? WHY?!"
Harry stood up and roared, he felt useless and trapped. So much more then he usually was. But Draco just stood there, not moving an inching, he raised a delicate eyebrow.
"Because Harry, we must believe we do and act as if we chose our path."
With that Draco walked out of the bathroom, leaving Harry to stare at dull eyes reflected in a dull knife.
Rule 6: Never forget
Harry was so close to yelling at Ron, Hermione, Seamus and everyone else in the whole castle that he was tired of it, tired of pretending, tired of playing, tired of it all. But he remembered those grey eyes and the way the voice flowed over him, washed away his simple worries and made him remember that he couldn't do that. He needed to stay strong, needed to live as if he was alive and needed to breathe as if he wanted to.
But he was so damn tired of remembering, tired being looked right through sometimes by everyone because his opinions didn't matter. All he was supposed to do was kill, and then be put back on his shelf, taken down when needed. He thought he would've been used to it by now, stopped caring how many times he was put on the shelf and let the dust settle over him. How many times he was overlooked and stomped on only because he couldn't do anything about it, unless he wanted to be punished. He didn't want to be punished, not again.
Rule 7: Don't forget, rules are meant to be broken
Harry backed Draco against a wall, placing both hands above his head and leaned in to capture his lips. As soon as their lips touched something snapped in both boys, the kiss turned rough, the positions never switching, although Draco tried. But Harry needed to be in control for once, needed to do something on his own free will and if that was ravishing Draco Malfoy against a wall, then so be it.
"Harry…ohhhh… we can't…"
Draco moaned out in between pants, Harry growled and bit down on his neck and sucked. Savoring the whimpers Draco was making.
"Yes, we can, Draco…"
Draco pushed him off, noticing how easily Harry let go; it seemed as if he was prepared for a fight.
"Harry, if we were caught… we'd be… murdered! No even worse, we'd be tortured, terrorized by both sides, and in the end we'd still have to fight each other. We just can't Harry, the rules, we have them for a reason…"
"SCREW THE FUCKING RULES! We've been following them for all our lives, and for what? For what, Draco, tell me. Tell me why we've killing ourselves, cutting and tormenting each other for the past six years. Give me a good reason, one that doesn't come from Voldemort or Dumbledore or anyone else we follow. Give me a reason from you, Draco, and I'll leave. I'll go and never bother you again with this; we can go back to fighting and pretending. Just give me a god damn REASON!"
Draco stared into green emerald depths, they were alive, burning with some unseen fire and it electrified Draco.
"I don't have a reason, Harry…"
Was whispered after a minute, Harry grinned and pinned Draco against a wall.
"I'm glad, Dragon, because we both know tomorrow this will happen again…"
"But… the war… the houses…"
Draco barley got that out before Harry started kissing him again, but Harry just grinned animalistic-ly.
"We've got a lot of rules to break, Dragon, we'll take 'em one by one."
Draco didn't respond, just moaned and squirmed. He could live with that, after all rules we meant to be broken.
Soooo, what did you think?? I tried to make this a happy ending, and it is, kinda. Please review, they make me happy…!!! And hyper!!
Warmest regards,
TheSlytherinMuggle