I can sense Mai getting sleepy. She lets out a soft sigh that fills my ears, as she falls downward into the astral sphere. I need to let her know about the case at hand. The sphere suddenly fills up with brightly shining orbs, in a promenade of colours. In this moment of warmth and light, being in Mai's dreams feels like home.
Being with Mai feels like home.
The womanly scent and the golden wash of warm light takes me back to home with Noll and Martin and Luella. I could see myself sitting back on the soft rug in the living room, the image of my adopted parents talking softly by the fireplace, and Noll placidly reading a Batman comic book. I wonder what he saw in those books anyway, but I never complained—his face was always so animated as he scanned the lurid pages. I always figured that this would be my future. Secure; with an older me, an older Noll, and older parents.
(Say my name).
I know I was dead now, and I know I would soon have to pass on. But I still see myself back home with them, except now she was there too: her brown hair a bit longer, with a smiling baby in her arms. She looks at me, tilts her head as she always does when she smiles and says-
"Naru!"
I snap back to the present. Naru, Noll. Of course. She sees Noll. She is smiling, looking relieved—because it's Noll. I smile at her in spite of myself, enjoying the sight of her light up and blush. I guide her to the dream, this time the dream of the two lovers. I show her the shrine in the cave, all the while holding hands with her. Ensconced within me is also a wild blush, something that stopped showing when I died. I wish she could stay longer, and a little closer, but she leaves anyway.
(Say my name).
"Naru"
"Naru?"
"Naru!"
"N-Naru…"
I didn't know I could still feel pain even after death. I wanted to correct her, I wanted to tell her I was Eugene Davis, but I know I couldn't. This would expose my twin's secret, and undo all his effort for discretion and he would be mad. Mad that I still hadn't passed on, mad at me for leaving him alone, and perhaps, more recently—mad because Mai was his. Mai was back in the astral plane, and this shook me out of my thoughts.
"Say my name, Taniyama Mai." I implore to her in my mind.
"Naru!" she looks disturbed, well the case really was a gruesome one.
I sigh, and then tell her about the case. The children were already dead, their bones in a well by the house, I tell her. She looks so sad. She loves them without knowing them. She's so alone, but she loves her friends, and she loves children, and she loves Naru like they all were family. She's loves them like I love her. I reach for her, and take her face in my hands. I lean close, and bend over her. She blushes, gripping at both my hands and whimpers—
"Naru…"
I let go. I push far back into the darkness and push her away to wakefulness. I will myself to leave this place forever. Squeeze my eyes and will myself to go and pass on to wherever the deeds of my life on earth take me. But I still remain suspended in this expansive hell of darkness, waiting for the orbs of light to return with Mai.
It was after a few months that Noll found my body. I could feel myself feeling less cold, but the warmth couldn't compare to what Mai radiated. Mai. It was time for me to leave her, to leave Noll, and leave Martin and Luella. An incomplete image now formed in my mind; now justifiably incomplete because Gene was now a pile of bones. Gene was dead fully, surely, irreversibly and he would pass on now. Perhaps Noll would stop wearing that ridiculous black ensemble, and just man up and ask Mai out. I can see the image again, and I know it's my supernatural power as a medium showing me the future of my family. She's there too with her tiny baby; smiling at—no, through—me. It's a wonderful picture because they're all so happy.
Suddenly, Mai is back in the astral plane. She looks bemused, and a little lost. Why was she still here? I brace myself, ready to smile.
"Gene?"
If I were alive, and I could feel my heart, I'd say it skipped. She said Gene. Noll has told her about me, and it makes me so happy. I smile, and I can feel myself soaring through a breezy sky. But I stay there, because I want to listen to her.
"I know it's you, Gene, Naru told me."
"I see," I reply warmly.
"He asked me whether I loved you or him, Gene." She tells me. I chuckle, because that sounds just like that idiot scientist.
"He'd never understand, Mai. You should make him." I tell her.
She puffs her cheeks petulantly. "You're no different! Telling me what I feel!"
I gaze at her in wonder. "So you love…me?"
"I guess I do" she says, embarrassed and wringing her arms.
This is wrong. It feels so, so good. But so wrong. "I…I need to pass on. I'm dead, Mai."
She looks incredibly hurt. Two men she confessed to, and both replied discouragingly. I can't do this to her. "I love you, Mai. But I will leave someday, and you can't love a dead person."
She begins crying in defeat, and just fades away without a goodbye. I know this is my cue to leave, but how much I want to, and how much I know I can—I still stay. I want to hear her say it again. I want her to say my name.
"Eugene Miguel Davis." I hear her voice say it, heavily accented.
She is back, and god knows how. The petite brunette materialises in front of me, and she repeats my name. She stands on her toes and kisses me ever so slightly, and I can feel her on my lips. Not physically, but I can feel every emotion touch my own lips. I kiss her back, feeling light at heart again. I am soaring through the sky once more, but this time it is Mai's will. She willed me to go, and she loved me enough to make me pass on. She loves me, and I know she will let me go for our sake. She will learn to love our Noll too, and she will make him so happy—I already know. I won't ever leave her side or let her be unsafe, but I will let her go.
She knows, and I know—for me to be there, all she has to do is say my name.
A/N: Oh dear god, this makes me so sad. I've read a lot of stories where Mai says she loves Naru, but what if she actually loved Gene? And about Gene's middle name—I took a creative liberty :D
Because you, dear reader, don't know who I am in real life, I'll tell you a secret no one knows. I'm in love with Miguel. I have never truly and dearly loved anyone so, but I'm afraid to tell him. My life is such a shoujo manga xD
Good luck and love to you! Make sure you leave me a review :)
KClare.