Disclaimer: If only...
1.
"Bones! Are you planning to stand there gaping or are you actually going to help fix me?"
Surely this was some sort of nightmare because there was no way this was happening. No possible way that James T. Kirk, Captain of the Enterprise, would be sitting in front of him, pouting and arms crossed and pushing up a pair of very substantial breasts. Breasts!
McCoy opened his mouth. Then realized there were no words for how monumentally stupid and messed up this whole situation was. So he closed it and made do with stabbing the wayward Captain with handy hypo.
2.
It took a few minutes to register the fact that Jim had finally woken up. A few minutes of staring into bleary blue eyes (left pupil still abnormally dilated. Will need to scan regularly to ensure contusions are healing) before realizing whose eyes he had been staring into.
"Bones…."
His voice was thin and raspy, just like it was when they'd finally tracked down his kidnappers and broke him out and Jim flinching from the sudden light but still reaching out and calling out,
"Bones….."
Wait. No. That was almost a week ago and this here was now and Jim was calling for him now.
McCoy stared into blue, blue eyes and tried to respond.
I'm sorry you're hurt. Don't every do that again. I wanted to kill them all. Please, please don't get hurt again. I wanted to rip them apart with my bare hands for daring to even thinkof laying hands on you. We almost lost you. I almost lost you. I don't want to lose you.
He said nothing.
3.
Spock hiccupped. Jim giggled. McCoy stared.
The scent of chocolate and alcohol lay thickly sweet in the air and McCoy could just feel the headache developing.
"Bonesy! Come have a drink with us!"
Jim waggled the nearly empty bottle in front of him.
McCoy glared at him, opening his mouth and closing it several times without a word before spinning around and storming out of the Captain's quarters.
He hoped they enjoyed the hangovers they would get tomorrow because they sure as hell weren't going to get any hangover remedies from him come Alpha.
4.
If this was a dream, then McCoy wanted to never wake up.
"Daddy!"
Joanna screamed as she shot towards him like a cannonball. Instinct prompted him to kneel and brace himself as he caught the babbling bundle of pink joy.
" – and then he let me press the button and the ship went vroom, vroom and then there were all these pretty stars and, and, and I love you Daddy! And then there was –"
He looked over her shoulder to find Jim grinning broadly at him.
'Like your birthday present Bones?', the other man mouthed at him.
He nodded absent mindedly as Joanna continued to describe her shuttle trip and tugged gently at her hand as he walked over to that infuriatingly endearing idiot that brought her here to him.
Jim cocked his head to the side, asking McCoy silently what he was doing.
McCoy grinned then reached out the hand not already holding onto Joanna's and used it to pull the other man into a hard kiss.
"Thank you darling. It's a hell of birthday."
Then he threw his head back and laughed cheerfully at the stunned and speechless Jim. Served him right after all the times the blond had left him without words.