It was late when Juice finally got home. It had been an emotionally ravaging day and he did his routine mindlessly; shoving the key into the lock, toeing off his boots, stripping out of his clothes. He felt drained, depleted, ashamed now his secret was out. When Chibs had found him, he had thought it was over, Chibs hated him. Despised him for his weakness- and Juice knew he would be right too. He was a coward for trying to kill himself but he had been in a corner and terrified of both of his options and- well it hardly mattered now. But then he had cradled him close and let him sob into his neck and maybe there was salvation to be had- but no. Roosevelt wouldn't stop, whoever was pulling his strings was obviously oblivious to the misery he was causing.

Juice brushed his teeth viciously and spat, splattering toothpaste into the sink. He rinsed out his mouth and looked up into the mirror. He ran his fingertips over the purpling bruise over the left side of his neck and frowned at it. It would turn ugly before it started to fade, a reminder of his failure. Jax's words rang in his head: Sons don't kill themselves.

Juice was tried-sad, the kind of weary that makes you think about cutting your own wrists, slipping into the sweet void, ending it all. It came from being too young, in a body that looked too old, from being alone too much, from being fucking used. He told Chibs he was fine. Was he? He still wanted to die but now- he wasn't sure. Juice shivered and shuffled off to bed, yanking the covers over his nerve-dead body hoping in vain a little warmth was all he needed to get the blood flowing again.

Just as sleep whispered on the edges of his conscious he heard the floor boards creak in the living room. Juice startled awake and reached for his gun on his side table instinctually. He clicked off the safety as he made his way to the doorway, eyes straining against the darkness. He carefully cracked it and was nearly bowled over as Chibs forced his way in.

"Wha-" Juice stammered as he put the safety back on hurriedly and turned to look at Chibs who was fully dressed and in his bedroom at nearly 3AM. He flipped on the lights.

"You're front door wasn't lock. You know that's dangerous, right?" Chibs growled, stalking towards Juice who felt vulnerable in his boxers and red crease marks from his pillow. He backed up and hit the wall, hands out and placating. He tried to keep the tears at bay but he felt them pricking at the back of his eyes, unwanted yet present.

"I forgot to I guess-"

"I think you did it on purpose. Hoping someone will break in here and do it." Chibs was too close, Juice was wearing too little and feeling too much. He edged out from under Chibs and sat on his bed looking smaller then he was normally. Pathetic. "Why are you here?" he whispered, crossing his arms, feeling the cold again.

Chibs was quiet a long time. "I promised I'd do anything to protect you from harm. That includes any you're intending to do to yourself." Juice looked up at him in stunned wonderment but Chibs interrupted his contemplation by shedding his jacket, shirt and jeans and climbing onto the bed. "Shift yourself." He muttered.

Juice moved over on the bed and laid down, Chibs next to him. He stayed still as a board, afraid to move in case he touched Chibs and he walked out or worse, stayed. He hesitantly turned off the bedside lamp and then held his breath, staring at the ceiling.

"Relax." He said gruffly and pulled the blankets over himself. Juice tried to do as instructed but just couldn't find it in himself to calm his pounding heart. Soon Chibs was snoring softly and the sound was comforting in the way the gun next his head was; it meant protection, safety, peace. Juice could get used to it, he thought fondly. His head lolled on his pillow to check the softly glowing numbers on his watch on the bedside table: 4:08.

Juice turned to look at Chibs who had draped an arm over his ribs, his rough face, the product of alcohol and too much sun, softened in sleep. Juice's eyes were drawn to his soft, parted lips. Juice caught his breath, and gently moved closer to his face. Hesitantly he put his lips on Chibs's. He immediately drew back, checking to see if his brother had woken. Chibs, still soundly asleep, didn't move. Juice slowly did it again, confused by the lack of feeling.

This time Juice pressed more firmly and the pliable flesh moved under his and he jerkily fell back into his early position, body tingling with warning. He stared up into the ceiling, accessing what had just happened. Nothing. Juice was disappointed. Fireworks hadn't erupted, he hadn't been instantly cast out and forced to black out his tats. Nothing.

"Try me again when the suns up," Chibs murmured quietly and rolled away from him, not opening his eyes. Juice grinned in the darkness, ignoring the apprehensive feeling welling up in his stomach. Maybe tomorrow would be better.

He didn't get any sleep that night, plagued by wayward thoughts, but he thought it didn't really matter because Chibs was next to him and the familiar warmth was something he craved more then a couples hours of shuteye. Juice knew it was naive to think everything would be peachy-keen once the sun rose- he knew better than most sin didn't fade with the night- but at this point it was all he had to cling to. That and maybe Chibs.