So, Im back with another emotional one-shot. I'm a mess aren't I? Lol, And this one is of course inspired by another song. Its call He Heals Me( Hence, the title) By Indie Arie. So I hope you enjoy it! :)
I sat in the back of the library, knee's up to my chest, reading a book.
It was the one place I felt safe. No one could hurt me back here. And If they did, I knew someone would actually help me this time. It was so quiet, I bet my screams would've caught lots of attention.
I shook my head as I felt the fear rising within me.
Deep breaths Bella. Deep breaths.
A slamming noise to my left, startled me and I gasped loudly, jumping out of my skin.
"Hey hey, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." A deep voice said softly.
I didn't even look at him as I scrambled to get my stuff together, and bolted away from him, out the library.
Glass breaking.
Men whispering in my ear.
Blood.
So
Much
Blood.
I took gasping breaths as I fought against the memories resurfacing. I couldn't have a meltdown. Not here. Not in public.
"Excuse, ma'am are you okay?" That same deep voice from in the library, asked.
My eyes flew open and I backed away, accidentally tripping. I squealed, readying myself for the impact but it never came. That's when I realized he'd caught me and I looked up into his eyes fearfully.
"Ar-Are you here to hurt me?" I whispered, my voice quivering.
He searched my eye's, confused. "No. I just wanted to see if you were alright. You got up and ran so fast, I wasn't sure what happened. I know I can't be that ugly to cause a girl to run away that fast."
I couldn't help it, my lips twitched up into a timid smile, my fear almost forgotten as he steadied me on my feet.
"I'm Jacob." He said, holding out his hand.
"B-bella." I replied, shaking it hesitantly.
He smiled. And It seemed to light up the whole neighborhood. Even though he seemed like a good guy, I knew to never be pulled into that trick again.
That's how they always started off. Before they decieved you.
"Well Bella, its very nice to meet you. I guess I'll see you around sometime."
I nodded and sped walked away, not stopping once until I got home. I looked around the small space.
It wasn't as big as my last home, but atleast it didn't hold the horrible memories as the last.
A thud as my body hit the floor in the kitchen. Me begging for mercy, begging for them to stop touching me.
A choke as they gripped me around the neck, cause black spots to dance in my vision...
"STOP!" I screamed.
My voice echoed off the walls and I opened my eyes to a empty house. A safe house.
I sighed as I dragged my worn out body to the comfort of my room and curled under the sheets, tears sliding down my face easily, until sleep consumed me.
A week later, and a trip to see my therapist, I was out again, at the beach this time. Another safe spot. He didn't know I came here, so he wouldn't even think to look here for me.
I grabbed my sketch book, after studying the water for awhile and drew what was in front of me.
"Hey Bella!" A familiar voice yelled to me.
I jumped, and looked in the direction it came from, surprised to feel myself relaxing when I saw Jacob jogging towards me.
"Hello Jacob." I said softly.
"Mind if I sit?"
I looked up at him, and felt hesitant. But I didn't want to be rude and say he couldn't. It wasn't my beach.
"No, you can sit..."
He plopped down in the sand, and I scooted over making sure there was some distance between us.
"So... whatcha got there?" He asked after awhile of an ackward silence.
"Um...Just a sketchbook...Nothing special."
"I'll be the judge of that. May I?" I closed it and shook my head. "Oh come on, I know you can't be that bad. Just let me see it." I felt his hand on my arm and flinched away. "I'm not going to hurt you Bella. I just wanna see your drawings."
I looked over at him, and saw confusion, and sincerity. A weird combination, but it put my fears at bay, and I slowly handed him the journal. He smiled and opened to the first page.
"Wow..." Jacob breathed after flipping through a couple pages. "These are amazing! Have you though about putting them in a showcae or something? I especially like this one, even though its not finished."
He showed me the drawing I drew of myself, backing away into a corner, just as I had the day...Him and his friends-
Remember what your therapist said. Don't let it consume you. Deep, calming breaths.
I took a deep breath and looked away.
"It is finished..." I whispered. "I didn't want her to have a face. She lost who she was that day..."
He was quiet a long time before asking, " Is this girl you?"
I closed my eyes and brought my knees up to my chest, ignoring his question.
"You know, when I was younger, all of my drawings looked the same."
My eyes opened out of sheer shock. He wasn't going to pry me for answers?
"Wh-what?"
He smiled softly. "I use to draw for fun, but when I tried to draw a dog It looked like a weiner with legs and a circle for head. So did my cats, rabbitts, even my people. My Dad was so sick of my Mom putting those ugly things on the fridge, that when I was 8 he just told me flat out 'Son your drawing sucks.' I cried for so long that day, and my Mom yelled at him for hours."
I couldn't help the giggle that escaped my lips just like the day before. Seems like I couldn't help doing alot of things around him.
"I'm sorry. I'm sure your drawings weren't that bad."
He chuckled and laid back. "Trust me I was no picasso."
I smiled and picked up my sketch book again, finishing up my drawing from before, while Jacob just sat there, talking, telling me about himself, not even caring that I wasn't saying anything back and I... I enjoyed his company.
For some odd reason he made me feel safe. Made me feel like maybe not all men were bad.
By sunset, Jacob sat up and stretched.
"I think its time for me to hit the old dusty trail." He announced.
"Oh...will I ever see you again?" I asked timidly.
He smiled that radiant smile, and motioned for me to give him my pencil and book. He wrote something down on a clean sheet and handed it back to me. I looked down and realized it was his number.
"Call me whenever you like. I'm a big loser, so I'm normally not busy."
I smiled for the millionth time that day. I missed smiling.
"Okay. Bye Jacob."
He waved as he got up and jogged in the direction he came.
That night when I got home, I realized not only did I not think of the incident once, I didn't have any nightmares either.
That one day on the beach with Jacob, was the beginning of a great friendship.
I never actually got up the courage to call him until about a week after that day. And he took me out to lunch and made me laugh so hard, that my throat was sore when I got home. I hadn't laughed like that in almost a year and It felt good.
We made it a routine to go out to lunch every Saturday after that.
I was slowly healing too.
Like instead of flinching everytime he touched me, I found myself wanting him to touch me more. I couldn't describe the way I felt, but I've never felt this way about anyone. It scared me.
Sometimes, I would unintentionally put my guard up, just because I was afraid of getting too close again and being betrayed.
But something told me that Jacob wouldn't do that. Something told me I could put my trust in him.
"Hello, earth to Bells." He sang, waving a hand in front of my face. "Are you back from space yet?"
I smiled and blushed, picking at my food. "Sorry about that."
"Everything alright?" I nodded. "Good. Now I want you to tell me your biggest secret. You know everything about me, but I barely know anything about you and we've been hanging out for 3 months!."
I panicked alittle. Was he ready to hear my biggest secret? Would it change the way he looked at me? I couldn't bare not having Jacob around. Not right when I was starting to heal.
"I...Jake...I don't...Ask me something else." I studdered, quietly.
"Oh, Its something good isn't it?" He asked, a big smile on his face.
"Come on tell me!"
I sighed, closing my eye's. " I...I was raped a year ago. By my boyfriend and five of his friends."
Everything was quiet around us, the only sound ws the birds chirping as we sat on the park bench. We were having a picnic today.
I took a chance and opened my eye's slowly, seeing him staring at me in shock.
I felt tears well up in my eye's. "I-Im sorry...I shouldn't have said...I shouldn't have told you..."
Before I could get up and run away he gently grabbed my arm pulling me to his chest in a bone crushing hug. I couldn't stop the sob that escaped my lips in that moment, as the memories came flooding back.
"Please Edward! Please tell them to stop!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, gasping for air as two men pushed inside me at once. "IT HURTS SO MUCH!"
I felt his fist connect with my jaw and I screamed again.
"SHUT UP YOU LITTLE WHORE!" He shouted in my face. "Did you think I actually love you? You were just another hot little body for me and my boys to share." He lent down into my ear. "You were so easy to reel in. You trusted me when you shouldn't have." He whispered.
After that, I just sobbed and sobbed until they were finally done with me. I drug myself on one good arm to the corner of the room where I cried until I passed out.
"Shhh, Bella. Calm down, I'm right here, I won't let anything hurt you honey." Jacobs soothing voice said bringing me back to the future.
"It hurt so bad Jacob...It hurt so bad..." I sobbed, fisting his shirt in my hands.
I felt him rest his head ontop of mine, rocking us back and forth.
"I know it did. I know. Shhh. But you know what? That just makes me love you even more. Because you were strong enough to not let it consume you, or go crazy like I've read before. You opened up to me, and I love you so much for that."
After awhile, I finally calmed down enough to look up at him, and he brushed the hair out of my face and kissed my forehead.
He had so much compassion in his eyes that I didn't want to look away and have it possibly go away.
"You said you loved me..." I whispered. "Please...Please don't lie to me."
"I'm not baby. I'm not. I love you so much that it kills me to see this pain in your eyes everyday. I want to help take it away, but you have to trust me bella. You have to give me your heart and trust me enough not to break it."
I rested my head back on his chest and closed my eyes, listening to his heart beat. Noticing how it matched mine.
"Jacob...The first time we met...You made me smile when I hadn't smile in such along time. You brought laughter and happiness back into my life... I don't know how long you'll be here for...A month, a year, forever... But I do know that you heal me. You never hurt me and you accept me for who I am. I'll never be able to find someone like you again...I-I love you too."
He lifted my head off his chest again. "I'll be here forever Bella. There's no getting rid of me now."
His hed moved closer to my own, and for the first time, I didn't feel fear bubbling up to the surface.
"I'm going to kiss you now Ms. Swan." He whispered.
"And I won't stop you." I whispered back.
With that his lips pressed to mine softly, making me forget all about my past.
And for the first time in my life, I wasn't worried about the future.
As long as I had Jacob.
I knew I would be fine.
Awwwww! :') Not my best work because its 1am and I started rushing a bit to get it done, but... I still thought I would put it up anyways! I hope you enjoyed it and reviews are not discouraged!