Author's Notes: Just a little vignette that came to mind after watching the end of Je Souhaite and pondering on how their relationship might have progressed…
Spoilers: Very small for Millenium. Around time of Goldberg Variation.
Summary: A quiet moment or two in their busy lives.
Promises to Keep
Rated PG-13
by Suzanne L. Feld
Although I wasn't quite sure how I'd ended up here, cuddled against Mulder on my couch as The Omen played out to its creepy end, I was certain that I was not only exactly where I should be, but that I liked it.
Which was, I thought lazily, rather an X-File in itself.
It all started about two weeks ago, on a New Year's Eve full of prophecies and fanatics and the dead being raised. Mulder had kissed me on impulse, or so he told me—which I believed—and now it had somehow evolved into us touching and kissing each other frequently and without hesitation. We hadn't gone as far as second base, nor did either of us seem inclined to as this was just really nice… and normal, far more normal then either of us had had since starting on the X-Files.
I had seen this movie more than once, though by the way Mulder was intent on the ending I suspected that he hadn't. As Gregory Peck ran around looking horrified on the TV I let my mind wander, thinking about what was happening between us being far more important than the fictional Son of Satan on the loose.
What had made me suddenly, consciously aware of the shift in our relationship was an incident that had happened earlier today. We'd somehow fallen into hanging out after work over the last couple weeks and since I'd needed to do some shopping, we'd met at the market on the way home and gone in together. While I was picking over endive and parrying Mulder's jokes about rabbit food, I felt a tap on my arm and turned to see my friend Maria standing there. We hadn't seen each other in months and we jumped into each other's arms like it had been years, hugging excitedly and exchanging "how have you beens" and "it's been too longs." After greetings were over I stepped back, taking Mulder's hand and introduced him, as I always did, as my partner. We chatted for a few minutes and then Maria had to move on, with both of us making the usual promises to call each other. I slipped my hand out of his and went to the front of the cart to continue my perusing of the greenery.
Moments later I realized that we had been holding hands in front of someone and I hadn't thought twice about it. I wasn't sure if this was good or bad, but knew I had to stay more aware of it especially around work—and my family. Mulder often came to my mother's with me to help out with yard work or have dinner or just visit, and I knew if she got a whiff of this turn in our relationship I would never hear the end of it. Hell, she'd be planning our wedding within minutes of finding out we'd so much as kissed.
When we'd gotten to my place Mulder had helped me put the groceries away and make a simple dinner of salad and grilled cheese sandwiches, and here we were on the couch all cuddled up together. Now that the—
"I can hear the wheels in your head turning, Scully. What are you thinking about?"
I looked up to see the credits playing on the screen even as his arm tightened around me. "Earlier tonight," I said slowly, trying to find the right words to express what I wanted to say without hurting his feelings. For all his macho-man posturing I know Mulder is fragile and vulnerable when it comes to things like this. I didn't want him to think that I wasn't happy with where we were, so I had to phrase it carefully. "When we ran into Maria…" I let my voice trail off, not sure what I was trying to say.
"And we had our very first couples' experience," he said with humor clear in his voice. "I noticed, Scully. I was pretty damn tickled that you touched me in front of your friend, even something as simple as holding my hand. It's a good sign."
I leaned sideways and turned to look up at him as he leaned down to kiss me briefly, undemanding, still smiling. "Really?"
"Really. We're going to have to be careful around work, but we'll continue to feel our way along, I expect." Then he gave me the overdone leer, the one I knew wasn't serious, sweeping his eyes up and down me. Like I was dressed in lingerie rather than a sweater and jeans. "I'd be glad to feel you along anywhere, Scully."
That put us back on even, familiar footing. "I just bet you would, Mulder," I said dryly as I settled back down against his hard, warm body. He squeezed my shoulders gently, then kissed the top if my head and rested the side of his face on it. We sat like that for a while, just enjoying each other's company and closeness as the credits ran to the end.
Finally I heaved a sigh and got up as he moved his head, missing his warmth as I went over to the TV and ejected the tape, putting it back in the rental case. When I turned back after setting it on top of the VCR, it was to find Mulder still sitting on my couch but with eyes closed, head resting against the back, chest moving gently beneath the gray t-shirt. I paused for a moment to study his face; it never failed to amaze me that for the irregularity of his features, Mulder was the most handsome man I had ever known, bar none. I let my eyes linger on his lips, thinking that those lips had, indeed, lived up to their sensual promise.
Usually it was me falling asleep at the drop of a hat, but Mulder had been known to do it when he was content and felt that he was safe. Knowing how bad his insomnia was I didn't have the heart to wake him. Instead I went to the linen closet and got a thick fuzzy blue blanket and spread it over him, not wanting to move and wake him. I figured he'd eventually lay down on the couch, using one of the throw pillows for his head as he'd done before though this was the first time he'd fallen asleep here since we'd gotten… involved. We'd both already taken our shoes off, so I figured he was good for the night.
Still, for the first time I was self-conscious as I got ready for bed, trying not to splash water too loud while washing my face and brushing my teeth, and not wearing a face mask although I had been using an oatmeal one this week. I dressed in my usual satin pajamas, white tonight, but instead of my favorite fuzzy bathrobe I found a nice teal silk one in the back of my closet and wrapped that around me instead. I hadn't worn this since dating Ethan nearly seven years ago and was rather proud that it still fit perfectly.
Before sliding into bed I went soundlessly back out into the living room, making sure all the lights were off and the door locked. I had a small nightlight in the kitchen and it was just bright enough that I could see Mulder's long form sprawled on the couch; as I'd suspected he'd stretched out and wrapped the blanket around himself, though his head wasn't on a throw pillow as they were all on the floor. I knew he'd get a crick in his neck from sleeping like that so I went over and picked one up, then very gently lifted his head and slid it under.
"Tucking me in, Scully?"
I huffed at the gravelly, sleep-roughened voice. He was on his side with his back to me and now rolled partway over to give me a sleepy grin. I could see his tousled hair and wide, bare shoulders; he'd clearly woken up enough to take his shirt off and, I fervently hoped, not his jeans. "Go back to sleep, Mulder. I'll, ah, I'll see you in the morning."
"Can I at least get a kiss goodnight?" he said, reaching out and catching my hand.
I wanted to drop to my knees beside the couch and wrap my arms around him and give him a kiss he'd never forget, but I was afraid it wouldn't stop there and I wasn't quite ready to take our fledgling relationship any further just yet. He was letting me set the pace so I knew he'd understand.
I bent over at the waist, bracing one hand on the back of the couch and the other on its edge next to his neck, and pressed my lips to his warm, soft ones. I felt one of his hands slide around the back of my neck, warm fingers cupping it beneath my hair, holding me in place but not restrictive nor pulling me any closer. Despite myself I melted into his mouth, opening mine and inviting his tongue in to play, which it immediately did. I felt him shift beneath me and next thing I knew I was exactly where I had tried to avoid being, kneeling on the couch next to him with both arms wrapped around his warm bare shoulders and us kissing each other breathless. He still had one hand on the back of my neck, the other cupping my jaw, and he'd rolled onto his back so that we were nearly chest-to-chest.
Though I hated to, I broke the kiss as I realized what we were doing; some part of me was shrieking that this wasn't the right time to take this any further. We still had a lot of issues to work out first, and we both knew it. His hand flexed on the back of my neck, tightening briefly, before he released me as I loosened my arms and leaned back on my heels with hands on my thighs, no longer touching him. "Sorry, Mulder, I—"
"Mmn, don't apologize, Scully. Never apologize to me for anything to do with us. As I told you, I am more than happy to take it at your pace," he murmured in that husky baritone, gazing over at me. "Just, if you can, try to promise me one thing, okay?"
I couldn't imagine what it was as I said slowly, "If I can…"
"Promise me that no matter what else happens between us, we won't lose our friendship," he said, holding my eyes with his in the dimness. "I want to know we can do that before we move any further. I want you as a lover, but I need you as my friend."
I smiled down at him, unable to resist reaching out to smooth back his unruly short, dark hair, feeling a jolt in my abdomen at the look on his face. "I feel the same way," I assured him, letting my hand linger on the side of his scratchy face. "So only if you promise me the same."
"You got it. Of course, now that that's settled, if you wanted us to snuggle in your bed I wouldn't turn you down."
For just a moment I was tempted to take him up on that, to see what he did with the offer, but I learned young the dangers of playing with fire—and around me, Mulder was a bonfire. I gave his lean jaw one last caress and stood, shaking my head. "You never do give up, do you, Mulder?"
He chuffed a laugh. "Never, Scully. Think you'd know that about me by now."
I chuckled, moving away reluctantly. "See you in the morning, Mulder."
"Just think, next time we go to the grocery store and run into one of your old friends you can introduce me as your boyfriend," he said with a clear smirk in his voice.
"Sure thing, Fox," I said with clear amusement.
"On the other hand…" came the familiar baritone voice out of the dark.
"That's what I thought."
finis
