How to Become a Pokémon Ranger's Best Friend

Hello and welcome to the world of Pokémon! Are you a boy? Or a girl? Or one of those poor Pokémon like Magnemite that doesn't even have a gender? Well frankly, it doesn't even matter! If you're reading this, I'm assuming you want to become a partner Pokémon, who follows a Pokémon Ranger down the path to success! Or you're a bored human wanting to read a dumb fan fiction for no reason whatsoever! Either way, you've come to the right place!

CHAPTER ONE: REALLY Finding the right place!

Pokemon Rangers: Noun- A type of human. They are kind creatures who enjoy calming other Pokémon down with their funny loopy machines. Take caution, as most are extremely dumb but well-intentioned. Be careful not to mistake them for evil villains who can also control Pokémon with funny machines, but they may often use you to hurt other Pokémon and rangers, and their machines and evil laughs often cause headaches. Keep in mind that rangers and villains look almost exactly the same- as it is with most types of humans. You can usually distinguish them by their smell. More about villains in the chapter entitled "Partner Pokémon Challenges."

There are now three regions that are vastly inhabited by these types of humans. The first would be Fiore, the second Almia, and the third Oblivia. If you are very determined to become a partner pokemon of any kind, regardless of fame and fortune, we recommend Almia, as rangers there are allowed to have as many partner pokemon as they wish. Keep in mind, though, that unless your poke-assisting skills are mad beast, you are going to spend the majority of your time on a farm of some kind. Don't stress, as there are bound to be other pokemon there, if your human is a skillful ranger.

The downside about Almia is that, even though you have a better chance of becoming a partner pokemon, it is probable that you won't get to experience the full adventure until your human feels bad for you and takes you out on a stroll. It will help to either have excellent poke-assisting skills or a very good puppy-dog face. We recommend practicing your poke-assisting skills beforehand on gigantic boulders. Be careful not to mistake a Golem for a boulder, as you may just lose precious training time if you faint. More about training in Chapter Two.

Are you looking for a longtime friend who can rely on you to save their lives? (Or maybe just their stylers.) Then Fiore is the place for you! Keep a lookout for new recruits who are young, naïve, and still get easily attached to cute Pokémon. Keep in mind that you shouldn't bother with rangers that already have partners, as rangers in the Fiore region can only have one. It helps to be friends with a few Pelippers or two. They are often used to deliver the mail, and they can tell you if they have recently spotted some excited young letters from an aspiring Pokémon ranger to a base leader.

However, there is the problem that there is a much lower chance of finding a suitable ranger than in Almia. Be assured that you only have one pick, and whichever ranger you pick, you keep. If you are having trouble getting to one of these places, it helps to be friends with a Swellow or Staraptor. Also try stowing away on a ferry ship, as long as it's not heading off to a random island. Remember that you may get lucky and find a ranger in Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, or Sinnoh on patrol of the region. However, don't get your hopes up because most rangers of this kind already have partners.

Your final option would be the region Oblivia. Keep in mind that Pokémon Rangers are just starting to inhabit this fine region, and it is the perfect place for any Pokémon looking for ranger noobs. Be aware that there is a band of so-called "Pokémon Nappers" that you may mistake for rangers. Remain cautious as, while they do smell, their name is quite proper as they do, in fact, NAP POKEMON! It will also help to be aware that rangers in the Oblivia region can only have one partner pokemon, as in Fiore. It helps to have a very unique assist.

However, there is a catch to this. If you are friends with any Celebi, you might be able to partner up with a ranger who already has a partner pokemon if you travel into the past. Don't worry—you can still help in the present if your ranger calls you with the Ranger Sign. However, it may neglect to do so if your Poke Assist is yucky. As a result, you must, as always, PRACTICE PRACTICE your Poke Assist!

Now that you have picked your region, it's time to become an extremely skilled partner pokemon! Check out Chapter Two, coming soon! Ta-ta for now, aspiring partner pokemon! Or bored humans!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own these so-called "video games." I don't even know what a "video game" is. If I did, I doubt I could play it. I only have two fingers on each hand, for crying out loud! I TYPE WITH MY MIND! I am also not responsible for any injuries or accidents involving this manual. If any injuries, accidents, explosive diarrhea, gum swallowing, massive envenomation, spontaneous internal combustion, or death occurs, contact a doctor immediately. Except for the death part. Cuz then you can't pick up a phone if you're dead. And I do not owe you money, Meowth. Seriously, stop asking. All rights reserved. Except I reserve nothing. Copyrighted. I think. Not really. Go away now. Blah.

Sincerely,

Gardevoir