So sorry this took forever. I had massive '20 Ways' block. Plus it was NaNoWriMo... And stuff. I'm out of excuses. Bleh.
BUT YAY! I am so happy for all the reviews and crap I've been getting! It helps my self esteem, or whatever. Please keep it coming! I need the love at the moment.
So, I got the most requests for a Pam list. Next will be Sam, Jason, then Stan. They might take a bit, because I'm playing Mommy for a while. Mine is flying back home because Gramps is not expected to recover from his surgery. Don't send apologies, because I don't know him that well. And he used to abuse my aunts and uncles, so I doubt I would have liked him much, anyway.
Like I've said before. GODRIC LIVES! He's serving his sentence in my brain. He does not like it there. He wishes to be free... I will not let him go.
20 Ways To Annoy Pam.
I don"t think there's anyway to escape certain doom on this one, folks.
(Unless, of course, you are friends with Godric. Then he'd tell Eric to order Pam to lay off. It all comes down to him. As usual.)
1) Lock her in a room full of sugar hyped five year old boys. With Barney playing loftily in the background.
2) Tell her Eric said to serenade him whenever he walks into a room.
3) Every time she says something rude/mean, spray her with a squirt gun yelling "BAD PAMMY! THAT'S NOT NICE!"
4) Turn Fangtasia into a nursery and/or daycare.
5) Sneak into her room, remove all her shoes, and then tell her Eric sent them to little kids in Africa. (Because we all know little boys walk around in huge high-heels. *rolls eyes*)
6) Tell her you know what she did last summer, then watch her sweat it out.
7) Chase her with glitter-glue, yelling that "Real vampires sparkle."
8) Deny ever saying the above phrase when she shows up in a sequined leotard.
9) Write sonnets comparing her to Sookie.
10) Ask her 'innocently' what is in her hair, even if there is nothing there.
11) Inquire how her favorite pumps are doing.
12) Sing Christmas carols in July, then insist she get into the holiday spirit.
13) Inform her that teal is the new black.
14) Send her love letters from Bill Compton.
15) Tell her she needs Anger Management, then schedule her an appointment with Dr. Phil.
16) Sign her up for a charity activity.
17) Invite all your young nieces and nephews (If you don't have any, give praise) to your 'birthday party.' Bring the clowns.
18) Apparently Eric has joined the Catholic church. Be sure to toss holy-water at her and yell that the POWER OF CHRIST compels her.
19) In keeping with the 'Christ compels you' theme, invite a priest to give her a blessing.
20) Apologize.
Bonus:
Imply that Eric and Bill really are yaoi lovers, so it's no wonder that Eric never saw her that way.
Other Instructions:
Die yourself a grave. You'll be joining the dead soon.
WOOT! IT'S DONE!!!!