Going back to the start, by The Mighty DYLDO! Oh yeah! [rock]

Note. This tale is fanfiction. This means that apart from any new characters I introduce, such as, oh, let's call the main character John Drake, all other characters and locations are owned by their respective owners. Also, Seriously, , you need to have this at the top of the page alongside the 'unleash your imagination' bit, so we don't have to type this every time, sheesh. Also, if you're reading this, anyone else interested in a sort-of fanfiction con? Where fanfiction writers meet up, hang out for a bit, play some games, swap ideas… That kinda thing. Doesn't even have to be in the real world, could just be a series of Facebook and online gaming things… [that way even people on the other side of the world can join in]… A person suggested this to me some time ago, and ya know what, I like it. Anyway, enough ranting. Time for your appointed time travel tale. I'd like to note that this OC thinks like me. [okay, he is me, but under the name John Drake [unless I forget what I called him halfway through]… And thusly, when thinking of time travel…. Well, let's just say that he knows a lot of Muggle-based popular refrences.

Also, I would like to note that his magical abilities are average, although he has a slight affinity for machines. Basically, we're dealing with a super hot magical male version of the already super hot female mechanic Winry from FMA. Except my dude's got brown hair. And is at least as manly as… Hmm… Light Yagami from Death Note. Okay, you following my references so far? [note: this tale is set after the events of the Potter series. LONG AFTER. Harry's kids have grown up. Harry is now a rich billionaire in both magical and Muggle worlds. So, what does he do? Start a heroic thingymabob, of course.]

"Are you sure this is going to work, John?"

"Oh, yeah… I've been testing it on rats and everything, the whole scientific process applied to magic… This is what my entire life has been leading up to…"

"And you acknowledge the risks in going back in time like this, right?"

"Yep. Let's see… Could accidentally erase myself from existence… Could cause a temporal paradox, which, if you believe a relatively cheap in modern terms movie from the 80s and a bunch of theoretical mages, will cause the destruction of all reality… Could cause Voldemort to know that we know about Horcruxes early… Yeah. But it will be worth it to prevent deaths."

"But you weren't even born then! These people died before your time."

"Yes, but my family is non-magical, all the way back. We weren't involved at any point. You wizards might as well have been in a separate dimension for all any of my lineage cared. But one thing we did care about is helping those in need."

"Very well. You seem resolute… But… When you see my younger self… Try not to laugh, okay?"

"Yes, Mister Potter…" I said, smiling at the former legend before me.

From the Boy-Who-Lived to the Old-Man-With-A-Lot-Of-Money-Who-Has-Too-Much-Time-On-His-Hands… Part of me thinks that, for your life, it kinda sucks that Voldemort died. You need a goal, and adversary… And you, Potter, are fighting Death itself. Saving those who died… It seems silly to take on something that you know is going to happen… I guess that's why you're using me. I'm young and fresh, you're old and… Well, beginning to smell like something is getting moldy. And since your wife died a few years ago, you've been going nuts. At least your kids are doing okay.

[Author's Note: Yeah, that's probably a bit too much revealing of the past… Let's move on to our time machine!]

I went over to the machine.

"Flip the lever, Igor!" I shouted to Harry.

"Aye, master!" he said, pretending to be a hunchback.

He flipped the lever.

Then I quickly jumped into the time machine that I had cobbled together.

Coupling Muggle and Wizard technologies and arts together, I had built a… A vehicle of beauty.

Out of pure fanboyism, I based it on the Delorean in the Back To The Future Movies, but using a enchanted Smart Car as the actual vehicle.

So, it would appear to a Delorean to anyone except those wearing a particular glyph as a tattoo on their arm, such as myself and Harry, in the timestream in which the movies existed.

To anyone before… It would probably appear as a horse.

How the heck would I check that the horse look works is… well, it's impossible. I just hope that it makes the rider look like we're on top of the horse, not inside it or anything.. Ah well gone too far to worry about it now..

I chose a Smart Car since it looked fairly simple and bubbly, and was small enough to be highly manouverable.

Couple that with a pixie-dust/fusion fuel source, with an unlimited supply of pixie dust and a TARDIS-esque size fuel tank, It could get anywhere really fast for a long time.

There was only one small problem with the vehicle choice.

It was tiny, and the charm of the Smart Car would be ruined by making pocket dimensions within it to make it bigger on the inside. Being almost six foot myself, a Smart Car makes a poor vehicle.

But, as a time machine… It was pretty nifty.

Instead of a flux capacitor, I had installed a Time Turner, still fairly rare [read Mr Potter's biography to find out why this is so… Kinda sucks. Time travel was touched upon twice, but no-one ever used it properly except the once, with Mr Black.], but the art of making them had been found in an expedition to another universe… Don't ask me the details, that's more of a thing for a certain blonde beauty to describe some other time… Ah, Rhian Lovegood… Who apparently goes by the name Sol now, but no-one really calls her that except for her mother, herself, and her father, but since he's dead, her mother's gone a bit more insane whilst still being hot [the actress who played Luna WAS rather hot, actually… However, when I think of Luna in the written form, I think of the actress who played Cassie in Skins. Not only was she VERY Luna-ish… She was very… Hot. More so than the actual Luna actress. So imagine Cassie in this tale whenever I mention Luna. If I do. Which I doubt. Maybe after 10 chapters or something. I wonder who Sol's father is… And how come our protoganist thinks she's beautiful? And those two questions are unrelated. Our OC is not Sol's father. As the creator of this extra tale, I can guarantee that Luna's eggs were never touched by a timetraveller's seed, hehe. [that doesn't really stop me from making it some other OC's seed... [stop revealing unimportant plot points you haven't fully decided on! [sorry [and stop opening brackets![but you just did :P [GRAAAGGGGHHHH!]]]]]]… Yeah, pretty much just she who calls herself that.

Harry's lever pulling would activate the machine with the first spark of magical energy, allowing the vehicle to be controlled with my or any other wand that I conquer. Therefore only I would be able to control it.

What? I didn't want the events of the 2nd BTTF movie to hit me, did I? Urgh… I am NOT giving any of the Malfoys [the obvious equivalents of the Tannens where I was going] a time machine….

I flicked a few dozen toggles on the dashboard [AU: inside, it's a lot like a airplane dash… And since only those marked with the glyph mentioned above can see the vehicle's true form, it can be dangerous to have others on board they'd press buttons without knowing it… Especially if they existed before the Back To The Future movies… People don't really care where they're holding a horse… Actually, it'd be rather complex to explain how the magic would make them think they're riding closely on a horse when actually sitting to one side… Let's just say that it works since its magic [invocation #24, I believe, in D&D circles. "it's just magic, okay?"] and move on………These aren't the plotholes you're looking for. Move along, move along.] and concentrated.

Let's get up to 88 miles per hour,

Somewhat slower than the speed of light,

C'mon now magic, give us the power,

To bring an end to the darkness that had afflicted the Light.

I come from another time, to rescue those who were not before,

To save the young, the old, and the poor,

And even the wicked from their ghastly schemes.

[um... sorry about this. I just like the idea of really powerful magic needing to be in song form. And since this is a spell that Harry and John came up with... Both Muggle-raised, so... They'd put their own stuff in, just for a laugh. At least, I would anyway.]

I murmured mentally, as the spell required.

Round and round time we go, and where we stop, nobody knows!

I had a strange sensation of being on a roulette wheel.

The magic came to me as the words popped into my head… I suppose since the machine warped space in order to travel time, I suppose there was no avoiding this song…

You just do a step to the left… And a jump to the ri-ri-ri-right…

The sensation of lips surrounded me, as though I was being kissed by a giant.

You put your hands on your hips…

One of the historical images of Proffessor Granger appeared before my eyes, her hands on her hips.

And then the pelvic thrust… Which really drives you insay-ay-ay-ay-ane…

LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN… LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!!!! [I really couldn't resist this. Once again, sorry. :P]

To Harry Potter's 1st Year!

Then there was a even more strange sensation of being punched, and then a sensation of being Floo'd to another place.

-

Then… There was nothing. And then there was light. And then there was even more light.

And then I felt like I was burning in the light.

Okay, okay… Can this light stop! The shielding and gassing should be kicking in Four, Three, Two, One.

The Light dimmed and the world focused.

Then the gas flooded the cabin, as planned.

Good. Now this doesn't feel so weird.

The Gas was an experimental anti-weirdness potion, in a gaseous form, designed to calm down patients and victims alike. It could counteract any hallucinogen, and could also make a human relax… But too much can make a person forget to breathe, being so relaxed with reality.

And trust me, there's something to be stressed about when travelling purely through magical and mechanical means through a dimension only meant to be travelled one direction… I wonder if there's a time-equivalent of valves that makes it so, and if so, am I breaking them, allowing the future to mess with the present?

Ah, hakuna matata. No worries. Chill, Man! Relax… Let the machine do the hard work now… It's time to plan my attack on history.

I opened the glove box, and pulled out a biography.

Harry Potter and The Philosopher's Stone. Published by Blourish and Blotts, Written under alias of J.K. Rowling in the altered Muggle version, as a children's book, written by Miss Lily Potter

Dang I loved how Harry's kids came up with such a realistic name "J.K"… It was them who published it… One of them, I forget what her name is since she lives by her Muggle name now, currently is living off the success that her Father's story gave her… Albus is now a leading politician… And the others… Well, they're still in that band, aren't they… Wish they'd stop… Or at least go into metal… Introducing shrieks and screaming noises into what is supposed to be pop music really doesn't work.

Prologue: The end to the madness?

I read the first chapter.

Harry was given to the Dudleys in the early 90s. Voldemort was believed dead, but Harry was given to them for two reasons. One, to ensure that he had the protection of the blood of his mother, since his aunt shared the same blood, and also, to prevent any former Death Eaters from attacking him. Blood protection wouldn't have done much against anyone who wasn't the one who killed Lily.

Not much to say then until the moment Harry realised that he was odd.

The bullied boy was taken to a zoo for reasons unknown and rather bizarre. Harry was never taken to anything like that before, and the biography merely mentioned that Vernon didn't want Harry on his own, since he might cause damage in the house. Seemed suspcicious to me.

Next thing we know, he's talking to snakes and the glass was completely Vanished.

This is interesting. Vanishment is a rather powerful magical ability, and although famous, Harry had never shown that kind of power later on in his life.

However, it is possible that he reached the peak of his ability whilst "sparking"… It has been known to happen.

He then was sent a letter by Albus Dumbledore, which was torn up by Vernon. This occurred repeatedly, and apparently it reached the stage where Dumbledore sent Hagrid.

Again, strangely out of character for him. Surely Dumbledore would have gone himself to meet his most important student… Also technically the future cause of his death, but he wouldn't have known that yet.

Then, Dudley Dursley was transfigured temporarily into a pig-child by Hagrid's illegally kept wand, hidden in his umbrella [surely the broken wand would be unusable, right? Hmm. Ministry were sloppy yet again.], Hagrid terrifies everyone, Harry gets a cake, and the two go off to Diagon Alley.

Theoretically, I should be landing around the time Harry receives the wand with Fawkes' feather in it.

However, I'll be on the other side of the city…

The etheric transducers began to glow, and I knew the time was now.

I was going to have my age reduced, but my memory intact. This was going to be a highly intensive charm, which allowed my brain to be its full adult size, with all the memories, but the rest of my body had a 11-year old form.

Oh, and I was to have already gone through the more difficult stages of puberty. I made SURE of that.

I felt my body contort and shrink, and felt the agony as my nerve cells were destroyed in my arms and a lot of muscle was destroyed.

I felt my mind shrink, and for a moment I suspected that my mind maintainence spells were failing, but then it returned to its regular size.

"… Fucking Hell." I said.

The brightly shifting colours began to slow their shifting, and gradually they settled into shapes.

Building. Building. Road. Lampost. Goat. Policeman. Man. Robes. Wait, goat?

I watched as a rather familiar face from my early childhood appeared.

Aberforth. Must've jumped too far. Never mind.

I kicked the machine, and the date reset itself, and then almost instantaneously, the landscape shifted and resolved into Hogwarts.

Well… I was aiming for London… But whatever. Let's just take down Quirrel by throwing Harry at him, and then work with everyone to get Voldy's Horcruxes, before he goes ahead and kills someone.

I got out of the car, and pressed the invisibility button. Harry had actually lent me his cloak for this purpose, and it actually used its own magical power to fuel the car's own invisibility powers.

Hmm… I suspect the date's still off…

I saw a Thestral stroked its neck for a bit.

"Hey, fella… Can you take me up to the school? I'm trying to save all of humanity here…"

The Thestral nodded, with an intelligence that not many suspect in equine creatures, and then knelt down to let me on.

I got on.

"Yee-hah!" I shouted, and after hearing what sounded like a groan from the Thestral, we rode off to the main entrance.

Uh... Yeah. So... What do you think? I've never actually shown anyone a Potter fic I've written [not on Fanfiction, anyway... There is a certain Restricted Section that I shall not link for it has adult content [okay, a bit of a duh there] upon which I have attempted to write some slashes in the Potterverse...

I was really tempted to carry on my Dylan Parry series and throw him into the Potter universe, but since that's me, it would be a bit difficult for me to prevent lusting after Hermione, Luna, Ginny [to a lesser extent. I really didn't like Ginny in the movies. The books were okayish. She felt like "obvious damsel in distress/generic girlfriend with an army of a family if he mistreats her" type of girl.], and, last but not least, probably Cho... But that's mostly if it was my own personal book version of the universe, where Cho Chang has actually got he body and shape of a certain friend of mine with a similar name... But that's a story for an account which isn't known by my friends, hehe.

Incidentally, I just found out that JK had released an official family tree of the post-story characters.

Luna has children to someone called... Rolf.

Why have I got two images of my mind. One of Cassie from skins having sex [yay] with Harry [there's more chemistry there than with Ginny, I'll tell ya that!]

And secondly, of a really rough, barbarian viking of a man doing it to her. The two images aren't really nice.