A/N: PrinceFroggie here! My gosh, I've been changing my penname way too much. Haha! So, here's a fic to celebrate my love for KHR. :D I didn't know writing about the Varia would be such a hard job. *dies* It's so hard to keep them in character when all you think about are stupid situations. =)) Of course, our dear sexy smexxy smoking hawtt Vongola boys will be making an appearance. Watch out! :D
Warnings/Disclaimer: No matter how much I wish, Katekyo Hitman Reborn will never belong to me. It belongs to the genius in the name of Amano Akira-san. :D Beware of excessive cussing by the Varia and me (and probably Gokudera, too, if/when he makes his appearance). :D
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Chapter One: Departure
It had been a tiring but normal week for the Varia. Xanxus and Superbia Squalo (with Levi A. Than tagging along) went on a pair mission overseas (the latter insisting it was a triad mission) to assassinate a potential threat to the Vongola Famiglia. Lussuria took on a local mission, assassinating a rich Don's rival family. Belphegor and Fran took on a local pair mission, also to assassinate potential threats to the Vongola. All in all, it was a pretty normal week for the squad. All those bloodshed and screams were an everyday thing for them, literally. It was the weekends and vacations that they all looked forward to (well, they look forward to killing people, but weekends and vacations are the next best thing). The Varia boss locked himself in his office with his bottles of liquor. Levi stood guard at Xanxus' door. Squalo either went training in the training grounds, or took care of his long hair. Lussuria did all the house chores, since they didn't have any servants left (Xanxus either shot them dead due to stupid mistakes, or Squalo slashed at them during his tantrums; one too many times, Bel accidentally mistook them for shooting targets). This was how their weekends went. However, it had been quite a while since they got a vacation.
"VOIIIII! The Ninth is giving us a one-week vacation! We're leaving tomorrow, so you fuckers better get ready!" Squalo hollered one dinner.
Xanxus, who had a fucking hangover from his drinking the previous night, felt his head throb painfully when Squalo yelled. He grabbed Levi's plate and hurled it at his second-in-command's head. The latter bellowed out as the plate shattered upon impact, its contents spilling all over his face and hair.
"Fucking voiiii! You damned shitty boss! What the fuck was that for?" He said, taking out his sword and pointing at Xanxus in an accusatory manner.
"Shut the fuck up, trash. Your fucking big mouth's making my head hurt." He growled.
"Then don't fucking drink all night!" Squalo yelled (or it was probably his normal voice).
"Squ-chan~! Your hair's all sticky~!" Lussuria piped from beside Levi, who stared blankly at the spot where his plate used to be, muttering my food like it was a goddamn chant.
"I know, fag!" Squalo hissed, standing up and heading out of the room.
Fran, whose face remained pretty much expressionless, watched the amazingly stupid turn of events. He turned to Bel, who sat beside Squalo.
"Bel-senpaaaai. What's a Varia vacation like?"
"Ushishishi~! So this is my un-cute kouhai's first vacation?" He snickered, resting his chin in his hand as he grinned at his junior.
"Uhh, I've only been with this violent squad for a few years, so yes, obvious-senpai, this is my first vacation. Fake prince." His monotone voice was edged with sarcasm, and Bel was quick in noticing it.
"Ka-ching~." Bel grinned maniacally (basically, his usual smile). Fran gulped.
His frog hat was suddenly adorned by three oddly-shaped knives, all of them dangerously close to his head.
"Senpaaaai, that hurt." He said, pulling out each knife and bending them before tossing them back over his head.
"Don't bend them! And don't throw them either, you stupid frog!" Bel hissed through his princely grin.
"Franny, dear~! Varia vacations are the best~! Trust me~! Ohoho~!" Lussuria winked at him.
Fran ignored Bel's cusses at him (and dodged his knives) and nodded in understanding at Lussuria.
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Next day...
"Ohohoho~! I can't wait for the vacation~! Where are we going, anyway? Squ-chan~! Did the Ninth say anything?" Lussuria piped up in a shrilly voice.
"Voi, fag! Keep your voice down! I'm fucking right beside you, ain't I? Ninth said we'd be flying to an island owned by the Vongola!"
"Whoa. Did Long Haired-taichou just say keep your voice down?" Fran said.
"Ushishishi~! Squ-squ's probably dead due to his own megaphone voice~!" Bel chuckled.
"The fuck did you say, Bel?" Squalo turned on him.
"Megaphone's don't have voices." Levi said.
"...the fuck, Levi? Are you questioning my princely mind?"
"Ah. The ugly pervert is being stupid again~." Fran said, fixing his frog hat.
"If any of you trash aren't in this fucking car in a minute, we're leaving." Xanxus said.
They all rushed to the car. When they arrived at the airport, Levi was given the task of carrying all of their luggage to the baggage counter. Of course, the Varia had the business class all to themselves. It was Vongola's airport, anyway. In the plane, Fran refused to sit beside Bel (nor beside Levi), saying that the fake prince will just stab him. He opted to sit beside Squalo, who had no qualms about it. Bel sat beside Lussuria, Levi sat behind Xanxus. As the plane took off, each of them settled in. Xanxus crossed his arms over his chest and slept, Squalo polished his sword, Levi reviewed his How to Please Boss notes, Lussuria filed his nails, Bel sharpened his knives, and Fran read a book.
Halfway through the trip, Lussuria, who was excited for the vacation that he couldn't even take a nap, looked around and saw everybody sleeping.
Except the our beloved bloodthirsty prince.
The blonde royalty had a dreamy look on his face (Lussuria could tell from his smile), and he was staring at the general direction of Squalo and Fran (Lussuria's and Bel's seat were on the right side, a few seats behind Squalo's and Fran's, who were on the left). His elbow was on the arm rest, his hand supporting his chin. Lussuria quietly moved closer and followed his gaze. He almost squealed. Belphegor, Prince the Ripper, the blonde knife-and-wire user of Varia who supposedly only liked murder (and stripes), was gawking dreamily at his, in Bel's words, un-cute kouhai. Fran, clad in a simple black shirt and faded jeans with black boots, slept with his head against the window. The sunlight caught on his mint green hair and his mouth was slightly open (he was even drooling a bit). But Lussuria knew that Fran looked simply marvellous in the prince's eyes. He giggled.
"Franny will melt if you stare harder, y'know~." Lussuria whispered into Bel's ear.
The prince shuddered and jumped up, his face beet red. He spluttered excuses at Lussuria, but the latter couldn't help clasping his hands together and giggling at the blonde's flustered reaction. He didn't even know Bel was capable of being flustered. Bel's face grew even redder when Lussuria squealed out the forbidden words.
"Maa~! Bel~! You like Franny dear, don't you~! Ohoho~!"
Bel quickly looked at Fran, to see if Lussuria's loud shrilly voice woke him up. He sighed. The stupid toad's a fucking heavy sleeper, thank the gods, he thought. He turned to Lussuria.
"Luss, shut the fuck up! I don't like that toad! Shishi~!"
"Voi, we got another fag?" Squalo slurred.
"What? Another Lussuria?" Levi gasped.
"Fucking trash. Who disturbed my nap?" Xanxus growled.
Bel was starting to sweat. Cold sweat. Forget about Lussuria discovering his secret; why did these idiots have to hear it, too? If Lussuria wasn't such a fucking loud mouth, these bastards wouldn't have woken up.
"Voii, bratty prince. You like this fucking toad?" Squalo's voice was getting dangerously louder as he got out of his sleepiness.
"Shishi~! No, you fucking shark." Bel knew he was so screwed and fucked, but he still tried to deny it.
"Hehe. Bel's a fucking fag, too, boss." Levi chuckled.
"Shut the fucking fuck up, you stupid ugly pervert. Shishi~!"
"I'm not fucking deaf, scum! I fucking heard Bel's faggotry." Xanxus snarled.
"B-Boss, Luss was sleep-talking! Ushishi~!"
Someone suddenly yawned from beside Squalo. They all tensed. For some odd reason, everyone knew better than to spill Bel's secret. Maybe it was the bond they've created over the years that a silent understanding to not screw up Bel's life was made. Or it was simply because they were curious as to how Bel will react to the situation.
"Ah, everyone's awake. Are we there yet?" Fran looked at each of their faces.
Everyone remained silent, even Xanxus.
"...whoa. Are you guys stoned or something?"
Silence.
"Guys?"
*crickets*
"...Ah, Bel-senpai. Your face is abnormally red."
At that, Bel turned even redder.
"Whoa. It got even redder. Is that even red?"
Still silence.
"Would everybody just please fucking say anything? It's fucking creepy." He yawned.
Squalo, who was sitting beside him, coughed.
"You guys are either really fucking stoned, or just utterly fucking creepy. Either way, I'd still accept all of you as the squad who took me in."
Lussuria dusted his pants.
"Is there something on my face?" Fran touched and pulled his face.
"We are now arriving at Vongola Island. Xanxus-sama and company, please prepare for the landing." The voice of the stewardess broke the awkward silence.
As if on cue, everybody suddenly started moving as if Fran didn't talk at all. With that usual expressionless face, he looked at all of them.
"Did I miss something?"
"Voi, you totally did, brat!" Squalo said, smirking at Bel, who threw knives in reply.
"Oh, Franny-dear~! You really shouldn't sleep when making trips with the Varia~! I told you this would be special~! Oh, I'm so excited~!" Lussuria squealed, clapping his hands in joy which earned him a glare from Bel.
"Shishi~! Oi, fucking frog, you got drool on your chin. Shishi~!" Bel piped in, just to make himself look less suspicious.
"Fuck you, senpaaaaai." Fran said monotonously, wiping the said drool.
"Fucking fags." Xanxus said.
"Hey, kid, Bel lik-
Lussuria, Squalo and Bel jumped on Levi. Even Xanxus helped in shutting him up by throwing his empty glass at Levi's head. Fran just stared at them.
"Yup. You guys are stoned." He said before returning to his book.
"Shishishi~! Levi, it seems you don't want to live anymore." Bel whispered harshly.
"Mouu~! Levi, don't tell on Bel~!" Lussuria whined.
"Voii! Are you a fucking idiot?" Squalo gritted his teeth.
"Trash should shut up." Xanxus said, yawning.
When the plane landed, Fran was the first to get out. Before the others followed, Lussuria made a little announcement.
"Now, now, boys. Everyone of us here knows Bel's little secret. Could we all please keep quiet about it~?" He said, pulling Bel and patting him on the head.
"Voii, I don't care about no fag." Squalo hollered before pushing past Lussuria and Bel and getting off the plane.
"I will do what Boss will do." Levi stated.
"Shut up, trash. And whatever. That's the fucking trash's life; I don't care." Xanxus said.
"Oh, good~!" Lussuria clapped his hands.
Bel could only throw knives at Lussuria and Levi in reply.
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A/N: I don't know what happened there. :))) I'm so fucking sleepy. It's 3:40am and I'm still awake. :)) Oh well, I'll update when I can! :D Read and review, guys! Or Xanxus will throw plates at you. :D