After finishing Agents of Shield two weeks ago, I have been on a FitzSimmons craze. And yet I can't seem to get enough of them. That's why I sat down and wrote this. Helpless is going to be a series of one-shots that all flow together. Nothing goes directly into the next (except chapters 1 & 2), but there will be large time gaps between each. Basically a series of small vignettes until season 2 starts. Enjoy!
Jemma Simmons spent her first three weeks at The Playground by his bedside. Waiting. Waiting for him to wake up. She would only move from the recliner chair to use the restroom and to get meals. She refused to shower; she was terrified of the water. So instead she had other methods for hygienic purposes. She would be there when Fitz awoke. It was all that she could do to make up for what she'd done.
Jemma knew she was bring silly—blaming herself. But it was her fault. She constantly dreamt about many scenarios where Fitz could have taken the oxygen, and yet she never chose that scenario. Every night the dream was the same. Fitz confessed his love, gave her the oxygen, and as Jemma swam toward the surface, some force pulled her down; she was unable to break into the clear air. Every night she awoke in a cold sweat.
One evening, Skye shook her awake. And that was when Skye learned everything about the relationship that had come to be know as simply FitzSimmons. Jemma told Skye every single detail of her friendship with Leo Fitz, all the while holding Fitz's hand gently. When she had finished, Skye placed her hand on Jemma's knee.
"Simmons. You're in love with Fitz," she said.
Jemma looked down at the ground. "What are you talking about Skye? That is…ridiculous! Fitz is my best friend! And besides, even if I did have romantic inclinations toward him, I've done all of the calculations for where our relationship could go if we ended badly." She paused looked up and made eye contact once more with Skye. Her voice broke as she said these next words. "I can't lose him as my best friend, Skye. So, seeing as how all the scenarios of us being romantically involved end with us no longer being partners, I truly feel nothing more than friendship and partnership. That's all Fitz and I will ever be. Partners. It just won't—"
"Simmons!" Skye shouted, cutting her off. She placed her hands on Jemma's shoulders. "Listen to yourself for a second. Romantic inclinations? Calculations of where your relationship will go? Romantically involved? The scenarios of your relationship? God, I love you dearly, Simmons, but you sound like a machine. Love isn't about calculations. Love isn't about scenarios. Hell, I hardly even know what love is! But I've seen it. I've seen it in the way some of my foster parents would look at each other. I've seen it with couples on the street. And I see it with you and Fitz. Love is wanting nothing more than to make that one special person smilie, to make that person laugh, to comfort that person when he's sad, and to be willing to sacrifice your life for that person. Fitz was willing to jump out of a plane for you. He forced you to take that breath of oxygen. He constantly tries to sacrifice himself to be your knight in shining armor." Skye paused, giving Jemma a chance to cut in.
"Exactly my point, Skye! Fitz is always trying to risk his life for me. And what do I do? I sit in a lab. I work on finding cures, and I try to analyze your blood! I'm worthless to Fitz!" The tears had started to form in Jemma's eyes, but she held them back.
Skye rolled her eyes. "What about when you jumped out of the plane? Or when you grabbed the guy on the train who was trying to kill us? What about when you saved me? Does none of that show you the truth, Simmons?" she took a deep breath. "You swam up ninety feet, with Fitz in your arms. You saved his life. You've saved all our lives on numerous occasions. You are the hero, Simmons. You're Fitz's hero."
"What if he doesn't make it, Skye? Or what if he does? He's never going to be the same. How can I face him after what I did? I took the oxygen when he should have. There is no way I can apologize for what I did. It's my fault he's like this! My fault, Skye! What if I never get to tell him how I feel?" She was breathing heavily, holding the tears back.
Skye grinned and gave Jemma a hug. "Like I said, you do love Fitz. And trust me, you will, Simmons. You'll get to tell Fitz exactly how you feel." She placed a kiss on Jemma's check, and then left the room.
Jemma turned her attention back to Fitz. She took his hand in hers gently. "Fitz, if you can hear me, and I'm sure you can because research has proven that comatose patients retain pieces of what happens while in their coma—oh, God, now I'm rambling again…" She laughed softly. "But if you really can hear me, Fitz, please come back. I have something I need to say. And I would prefer you awake to hear it."
Now that she'd started talking to him, she didn't want to stop. "I've been thinking a lot the last few weeks. Mostly about our time at The Academy. The day we first met, our lunch picnics with my sandwiches, being pranked together." Jemma paused. "That's when I called you Leo—when we first met. I don't think I started calling you Fitz until the end of our first term. That was when we became FitzSimmons. The dynamic duo. Best friends. I never told you, but I fancied you quite a lot that first year.
"I don't think I ever really stopped. You're more than my best friend, Fitz. You're…you're like Tony Stark. And I'm like Pepper Potts." As she said it, Jemma bit her lip in embarrassment. She bent her head down and laughed. "I can't believe I just said that. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is this: I love you, Leo Fitz. I always have. I always will. I'm helpless without you. Now just wake up, so I can tell you for real."
Jemma squeezed his hand gently. What she didn't expect was to feel him squeeze back. The monitors began beeping, and suddenly, Fitz opened his eyes. He smiled at her. "Jemma?" he asked.
Without thinking, she jumped up and kissed his lips. Everything was going to be okay.
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