81. Pen and Paper

Carly sat alone up in the iCarly studio…a place that used to be so full of life, so full off comedic skits that her, Sam and Freddie used to do together, a place where she used to love to come to. But now, since Sam and Freddie were now dating Carly hated going upstairs to the iCarly studio. It was like iCarly and her, herself didn't exist anymore. And truthfully they haven't done an iCarly webisode since Sam and Freddie started dating.

Sure she could find another co-host and another tech-producer…but she knew that the iCarly fans loved seeing Sam as her co-host and Freddie as the tech-producer. She also knew if she found someone else it wouldn't be iCarly anymore.

Frustrated she knocked a small glass figurine off of one of the shelves, plopped down on one of the beanbag chairs and for some reason found herself crying. She didn't know why she was crying, she just figured that it was because she was alone. She was never alone. She was always with Sam or Freddie or most of the time it was just the three of them.

This was just something completely new to her and she knew she was going to have to get use to it, but it was hard. She's just never been alone like this…ever.

And a little while later she figured she must have fallen asleep because she was awoken by Freddie as he shook her to get her up.

"Carly…Carly, wake up." She heard Freddie's voice call out to her. And as she somewhat was awake, she saw him through sleep glazed eyes and couldn't have been happier to see him there before her.

"Hi…where's Sam?" She questioned as she noticed that she wasn't joined to Freddie's hip.

"Home…she had to do something for her mom…"

"Ah…well, since you're here do you like wanna watch a movie or something." Carly asked hoping that he'd stay. But she could see the hesitation in his eyes before he started to speak.

"Actually, I'm going to go pick up Sam in forty-five minutes to catch a movie. Maybe we'll hang out tomorrow?" Freddie questioned with a small smile on his face.

"K…wait, why did you come over in the first place?" Carly questioned as she tried to figure out why Freddie was even there and why he had woken her.

"Oh, I remembered I left my phone next to my lap top. At first I didn't want to wake you, but I had to say hi." Freddie explained as Carly just nodded her head in agreement.

"Promise we'll hang out tomorrow." Freddie told her as he playfully messed up her hair.

"K." Was all Carly could bring herself to say as she shooed Freddie away and walked him over to the door.

She wanted to go back and lay back down on the beanbag chair and watch TV. But for some reason she just watched Freddie make his way down the hall until she couldn't see him anymore.

And once she couldn't see him anymore she shuffled her way over to her desk, grabbed a notebook, then plopped down on a beanbag chair and started to write.

XXX

Dear Diary,

I miss Sam and Freddie terribly, and I know this might sound extremely crazy…but I think I miss Freddie the most. It's just, he's always across the hall and he'd always try to get me to be his girlfriend. Well, he always used to anyway. And now, even though he's still right across the hall from me, I never see him anymore and he's never chasing after me. It's just weird. I never thought I would actually miss Freddie chasing after me and he hasn't since he got together with Sam. That I still don't get, but hey…they were never even going to tell me they kissed. So anything's possible I guess. But I guess in a weird way, I guess maybe secretly, I guess I had always pictured Freddie waiting for me through no matter what. But now it's like I don't even exist anymore. I never thought that would happen! He's been after me since we were in the third grade, and now…I never thought I'd loose him to my best friend. And what am I saying! Am I falling for Freddie? Eh, I hate this! I want my best friend's back…I want everything back to the way it was before they hooked up. Back when everything made sense. But I guess that's only possible in my thoughts, my fantasy's and here in my diary on pen and paper.

Carly Shay