Animal I Have Become, a fullmetal alchemist fanfic

A/N: Yes this another one of my song-fics that pertain to my ongoing fic 'Unattainable Illusions'. This one is to the song 'Animal I Have Become' by Three Days Grace in Ed's POV, and I'll tell you it was more challenging than I thought it would be but it was so much fun to write. In this fic he's discussing his thoughts on their situation with Pride and Wrath, and whether or not if freedom is even worth the attempt to try and get him and Star their bodies back or if they'd rather stay imprisoned in the bodies of Pride and Wrath and keep unduring the torture of having their crimes weighing on them and the blood of the soldiers killed on their hands. Enjoy, please R&R I'd really appreciate it.

Disclaimer: Song 'Animal I Have Become' (c) Three Days Grace, FMA and Edward Elric (c) Hiromu Arakawa, Wrath!Star, Star Allise, and Fic (c) Me

Pairings: Pride!Ed/Wrath!Star, Ed Elric/Star

I can't escape this hell
So many times I've tried
But I'm still caged inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself

How did it ever come to this? How could it come down to me turning into this monster that knows nothing but hatred and death? I never wanted or expected this to happen, Star either...The both of us, trapped in the bodies of two naive kids whose pure enjoyment is to kill for mere amusement. The only times the murders stop is when we manage to take control over the bodies for only a short matter of time, even then the yelling in our heads continue as the horrible feeling of the souls of Pride and Wrath try and claw their way back to take back over the vessels that carry both of our souls to resume the pattern of lust and death that they have left in their wake. Locked away like forgotten animals in cages...We're powerless to escape the hell that we have to endure through everyday no matter how hard we try. We can't control Pride and Wrath's actions, we can only watch helplessly through their eyes as the countless, pointless massacres occur by their hands. The blood of soldiers forever staining the concrete streets of Central, the blood on our own hands can never be washed off. Our sins are irreversable, our counterparts are clear evidence of this fact.

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal
(This animal, this animal)

Our sins...The names that our other selves claimed in their creation, the sins that we were guilty of carrying while in life only followed us to rise again in our forms in our deaths. Pride and Wrath were the dark shadows that followed us wherever we went, feeding off our emotions...The sins that we committed to grow stronger, both waiting until the time when they could break free of the chains that bound them both to us and take control of our bodies...And they succeeded, all through the most forbiddion form of alchemy that can be committed. My own carelessness that fateful night was the spark that led to the raging fire that spread not only to me or Star...But to the whole country, only leaving devastation in its wake all at the hands of our shadows, our sins.

I can't escape myself
So many times I've lied
But there's still rage inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself

Control, that one driving force that motivates all four of us. The desire to take complete control over our bodies, to shove the other set of forgotten souls to the side as if to try and force them out of the bodies completely so only they would remain. We can't escape the nightmare that we have been forced to live in...If you can even call it living. Struggling day by day to deal with the sins that Pride and Wrath have committed, our names have been stained forever just because of their faces. Our faces, our bodies. Well...Not anymore that is. The anger...The hatred that a homunculus feels toward their creators. Though, this time it didn't happen...That rage and hatred is directed more at the military...And us.

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal

It's hard to tell if its even us anymore as more massacres take place, the more the blame, responsibility, and the guilt falls on us. It is as though the blood staining Pride and Wrath's hands isn't their burden, but ours. We have to deal with the blame. We have to deal with the responsibility of their actions. And we have to feel the guilt and the horrible sensation and knowledge of the fact that many have died by their hands when we could have done something to stop it. All the what ifs and questions of what would have happened if I hadn't've been so careless that night. We wouldn't be in the situation that we're in now, what would have been in our future if I didn't die that night? I guess...That's something we'll never know now.

Somebody help me through this nightmare
I can't control myself
Somebody wake me from this nightmare
I can't escape this hell

Hell on earth, thats the only way to describe our situation. If there really is a God, he must really have it out for us. I know I deserve everything thats happening to the both of us, but I know Star doesn't deserve any of it. But...What would happen if we do manage to get back to normal? To be our old selves again, to try and rebuild our lives from where we left off? What would happen to Pride and Wrath? Even though they have made mistakes and bad decisions that have only gotten them into trouble, they are human too even though no one will admit to it. If we get back to normal...Will they just wither away and die from it? And...Can we never escape this hell that we have been forced to live in?

This animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal

Maybe...One day if its even possible...We can be seperated. Maybe one day Pride and Wrath can have their own bodies and we can regain our own, but I'm probably being to optimistic about the situation that we're in. Even attempting something as improbable as that would require a massive sacrifice, which we both know that we're not worth hundreds, maybe thousands of people dying just to free us from our cells in Pride and Wrath's bodies. To many have already died on our accord, both during our life and after. If it costs anyone to have to take their life in an effort to free us, then freedom isn't worth the cost. I know we both would rather sit and suffer through the hell that we have been forced to endure rather than having anyone else die because of us. My name? Edward Elric...Well...It was, before I turned into this monster...This animal named Pride.

This animal I have become