That fateful morning
The day I murdered my dad was the same day I started at that Scuzz hole of a school called Waterloo road. Usually me and my little sister Emily would go to John Fosters but they were having financial problems so we had no choice but to be moved to that other school.
I had got up at around six that morning and when I walked onto the landing, I realised that mum and dad were already up because I could see that he had her backed up agaisnt the wall, threatening her but I couldn't make out what he was saying because he was whispering to her. I hated my dad, absolutely dispised him to hell because he had been sexually abusing me and it had first started when I was barely the same age as Emily. I can still remember it clearly, I was off sick from school with the flu and he came into my room, telling me that he had come to give me a hug to make me feel better before he climbed into bed with me and started touching me in places I didn't want him to touch and after he had finished, he had whispered that it was going to be out little secret and I wasn't allowed to tell anybody and I still haven't told anybody, not even my mum or Emily. After dad had finished threatening mum, he slapped her hard across the face and he stormed off into the kitchen as I walked up to her and helped her to her feet.
"Why are you up so early?" she asked as I sat her down in the living room.
"Couldn't sleep" I replied as I sat down next to her "mum, why don't you throw him out, you know what a total monster he is."
"Just keep out of it Lyndsey, I don't want you or even Em getting involved" she whispered.
"Yes but what if he starts on me and Emily" I whispered back "I couldn't stand it if he started knocking Emily about." At that moment, dad walked in and told me to go and get Emily as he wanted to have a talk with mum.
"What are you going to do?" I asked "throw her around the room?"
"No, I came to say that I have arranged a shopping trip for you and your mum today after school as a way of saying sorry for the way I've been behaving recently" he told us just as Emily walked into the room, still in her pyjamas and she had heard what dad had just told me and mum.
"What about me?" she asked "can't I go on this shopping trip with mum and Lyndsey too?"
"No, you're going to stop here with me" he told her " we'll spend some quality father and daugher time together." I then watched as he draped his arm round her small shoulders and I also noticed the look he had given her, it was that same look he had given me the day he started abusing me and from that moment I knew what he was planning, he was going to abuse Emily and it made my blood boil. I didn't want her to go through the same thing that I had been going through for the past five years.
"Now then Em, go and pop into your school uniform" he told her "bet it must be excited, starting at a new school eh?"
"I don't want to go to another school, I want to go back to John fosters" Emily pointed out " I liked it there. What if I don't like it at Waterloo road, what if I don't make any friends."
"I'm sure you will darling" he told her "now go upstairs and get dressed." Reluctantly, Emily headed upstairs but she still had doubts about going after she had got ready and I told her that she didn't have to go if she wasn't ready.
"It's not up to you wether she goes or not" dad snarled at me "she is going and she is going to like it."
"Can't you see how scared she is" I yelled back but dad just shrugged it off and pointed out that she'll get used to it after a few weeks.
"Look just calm down Tony" mum said, trying to calm the tension between me and dad.
"You keep your nose out of this you bitch" he snarled at her.
"Stop shouting" Emily yelled at us "stop it, I don't want to go to a new school, they'll think I'm stuck up and I'll get bullied." I rushed over to her and reassured her that I was going to talk to dad and sort something out but she was so upset that she ran out of the room and I saw her sitting on the stairs, covering her ears to block out all the shouting and yelling.
"Tony, will you please calm down" mum begged but dad snarled at struck her across the face, causing her to yell out and he called her a stupid intefering cow.
"Why are you doing this dad?" I asked "I'm sick of you hitting mum and bullying Emily into going to that scuzz hole isn't helping either."
"I wasn't bullying her, I was just trying to give her some assurance that's all" dad told me "give it a few weeks or maybe a few days and she'll start to like it." Mum and got up from the floor, clutching her face with her eyes red and watery.
"Well you can't force her to go if she doesn't want to" I hissed but this time, dad really lost his rag and he kicked the coffee table over and pointed out that he didn't want to hear another word on the subject.
"Dad, she doesn't want to go" I yelled.
" Shut up,she doesn't need you sticking up for her" dad snarled and mum was now tearfully begging him to calm down but he told her that it wasn't any of her concern and shoved her out of the room, before slamming the door.
"You make me sick" I hissed at him "you know that, you are a sick twisted bastard." He chuckled at me and pointed out that he didn't have a clue what I was talking about but I told him what I knew what he was planning.
"Planning what?" he asked me.
"I know why you're sending me and mum on that shopping trip tonight" I told him "I know why you want to be alone with Emily. You're going to abuse her arn't you, just like you've been doing to me for the past five years. Well, you're not putting your grubby hands on my little sister."
"She is my daughter and I will do whatever I like with her" he snarled viciously "anyway, you're getting too old for me now and it's not as much fun anymore. It's time Emily played that special little game that me and you used to play." He then walked into the kitchen and I followed after him, filled with pure hatred and rage.
"She's twelve years old you sick bastard" I screamed before calming myself down "I'll tell mum you know, I'll tell her what you've been doing to me and that you're planning on doing the same to Em. She won't be too happy about that you know." It was at that moment when he grabbed hold of me and pinned me up agaisnt the wall.
"You tell her anything about this and I swear I will kill you" he threatened "stupid little cow." He then slapped me hard across the face before walking up to the kitchen sink and that was when I saw the knife, laying there and with all kinds of emotions going through my head right at that moment, I picked up the knife and walked towards my dad just as he turned around, seeing me holding the knife in hy hand.
"Lyndsey, what are you doing with that?" he asked me but I didn't say anything, instead, with a loud yell, I started slashing him with the knife I had in my hand before eventually stabbing him in the chest and I dropped the knife onto the ground as he fell to the floor, dead.
"You're not going to hurt us anymore" I muttered before rushing out of the kitchen and upstairs where I found mum coming out of Emily's room.
"Lyndsey, what is it, what's the matter?" she asked me before noticing that my hands were covered in blood "oh my god, what have you done?"
"Where's Em?" I whispered. I didn't want her to know what I had just done, she would be severy traumatized if she found out. Mum told me she was in her room, calming herself down and I told mum that I had something very shocking to tell her.
"What is it lynds, tell me?" she asked "and why on earth are your hands covered in blood." It was at moment when I revealed what dad had been doing to me for the past five years and that he was planning to do the same Emily whilst we were out shopping.
"Oh my god" mum said as she threw her hand over her mouth in shock "why didn't you tell me this before?"
"Because he said if i told anybody, he'd kill me" I told her, my voice shaking.
"Lyndsey, where is he?" she asked me "where's your dad?"
"I stabbed him" I admitted, tears now streaming down my face as mum looked at me with a horrified expression "I just couldn't stand it anymore, him hurting you, me and I also couldn't stand the fact that he was going to put Em through what I went through." Mum was now in tears, asking me where the body was and I told her that it was in the kitchen before I asked her what we was going to do.
"Go into the bathroom, wash that blood of your hands and I want you to take Emily and go to school" she told me in a calm but still shaky voice.
"What do I tell her, do i tell her that her dad's dead in the kitchen because her big sister stabbed him ?" I asked. I didn't want her finding out, she was already upset enough as it was and me telling her that I killed our dad would make things worse but mum told me not to say a word to Em, she wanted us both out of the house and that she was going to deal with the situation herself.
"What are you going to do?" I asked her.
"Just you let me worry about that" she told me before telling me to into the bathroom to wash my hands which I did then franticly began scrubbing the blood from my hands. After I did that, I got Emily and started to pull her to the front door as mum quickly closed the kitchen door so that she wouldn't see dad laying there dead.
"Mum" I heard her say in a scared voice as we got halfway down the driveway.
"Go on, both of you" she urged us, her voice shaking. Both of us tunred around and ran down the street with so many thoughts running through my head.
"What's happening with mum and dad?" Emily asked as we made our way to our new school and I simply told her that they had a big massive arguement.
"They are always shouting at each other" she pointed out "I don't like it, it scares me." I didn't say anything to her as we walked through the gates of our new scuzz hole of a school but she was still asking me all sorts of questions.
"Do you think mum and dad will get divorced?" she asked me as we walked through the playground.
"She should have chucked him out ages ago" I told her, not looking at her.
"Don't say that" she replied before I looked at her directly and pointed out that she heard mum screaming because dad had been beating her up again.
"I've never seen dad hit mum" Emily pointed out. It was true because dad would usually hit mum when she wasn't around, but I had seen him hitting her loads of times.
"He only does it in secret"I replied to her.
"You're talking rubbish" she snapped, now teary eyed just as this woman who introduced herself as the head of the school, Miss. Mason came walking up to us and asked me what Em was so upset about.
"Nothing, she's just a cry baby that's all" I snapped as I continued to pull her along but she stopped us and told me to head off into assembly while she had a talk with Emily.
"No" I told her "my sister is staying with me."
"No, your sister's staying with me, go on" she told me. Reluctantly I let go of Emily's hand and started making my way towards the door way where I saw my friend Ros as she tried talking to me but I completly ignored her because I didn't feel like talking to any one right now and I felt really sick to my stomach with what had gone off this morning. Feeling the bile rising up in my throat, I rushed into the girl's toilets and threw up before I leaned agaisnt the cubicle door with tears streaming down my face, knowing that I was going to have to live with what I done for the rest of my life.