I asked for it for Christmas but no, I don't own any of the characters. R&R Please!

The sound of my own heels coming down the hallway sends shivers down my spine. I could blame it on that alone or maybe the chance to see your beautiful face during the day. It doesn't seem to matter if I'm brought down by cases I know are going to be a challenge to win or maybe the case load in general. Seeing you always seems to make that feeling dissipate. We've been dating for a little over nine months now and lovely just doesn't seem to be the word to describe it. Not many people get to see the woman behind the shield, and I am very grateful that I get to every day. Your sweet smile lightens my heart, and your sexy grin makes it race. And now I just need to see those beautiful brown eyes that give me butterflies.

I open the double doors of the precinct eager to see you, only to find your desk empty. I look around and catch the eye of Elliot. He looks at me wide eyed and quickly averts his stare.

What's gotten into him?

Something catches my eye and I look to my right.

What the hell?

You come out of an interrogation room, but not empty handed. A stunning brunette with short cropped hair, beaming slate blue eyes and a satisfied smile comes in tow, with her hand on your wrist.

Finishing up her laughter, the strange woman says, "…Olivia it was great catching up with you! We have to do this again sometime. Just without the NYPD Blue background."

"Sure, just let me know when you're free and we'll meet up somehow." you smile.

"Great!" She pauses, and before she leaves, gives you a small kiss on the lips.

I can feel that familiar feeling coming up. Jealousy, but I try to keep it in check. It's always been a problem for me. I blame it on the fact that my heart was broken more than once over infidelity, and ever since then it's been a brick wall that won't let me love for another, but it's been different with you. Think nothing of it, Alex. Just keep walking and let it go. That would have worked if it weren't for your excessive blushing as if you just walked in the bullpen naked. I look back at Elliot who does nothing but look from me to you. You start walking back to your desk and don't seem to notice me at all until Elliot gives you an eye jerk towards my direction. When you finally return my gaze you look like a deer caught in head lights. You straighten up and smooth your hands down your dark denim jeans and almost above a whisper say, "Hey, Alex. Something come up on the case?"

It takes a minute for me to respond to you. "Umm…no. I actually need to talk to your Captain. Is he here?"

Elliot points towards his office and without a second glance I start towards his door. I can feel your eyes on me when I knock and then enter to the sound of Don's voice. With that unexpected moment I just had, I forgot to make up a pretense of why I'm here in the first place.

I walk into my apartment and immediately feel the weight of work lift off my shoulders. Before I can kick off my second heel, my phone signals a text message with a soft tune. I open it to a screen with your name on the bright display.

"A relaxing, romantic dinner at my place? 45 minutes?"

I stare at the screen, debating if I should just stay in and catch up on some much needed rest or take up the almost rare opportunity of you cooking dinner. I text you back saying I'd be there in 30, change into comfortable jeans and tee, grab my keys and go for the door.

You open your door with a huge smile on your face, still holding an oven mitt.

"Hi, baby." you smile, giving me a sweet kiss.

"Hi yourself. What possessed you to cook? New fire extinguisher?" I tease.

You give me a dirty look, "No," you say reaching into the oven, "I just felt like cooking for you. I haven't done it in a while. Its lasagna, your favorite." you smile.

I just giggle, taking a seat at your kitchen table that's decorated with a fresh bouquet of red roses. I take one from the vase and inhale its scent. I close my eyes to the aroma. There is nothing like the smell of fresh red roses. I put it back and watch you. "So, how was work?"

"Nothing exciting, just paper work," you say pulling ingredients for the salad from the refrigerator to the counter top, "Only thing that seemed to be out of ordinary was Munch's lunch." You finish making the plates and bring them to the table. Moving the bouquet to the counter top, you smile, "Your favorite." I smile back as you put my plate down and hand me a knife and fork. It smells so delicious. I forgot you could cook like this. Cheese melted in all the right spots. Just the right amount of sauce…mmmm.

You sit down and start to dig in, "How was your day, sweetie?"

"Boring," I say, cutting a piece of lasagna, "Liz is making me take second chair to the Boward case only to intimidate me. She's keeping a close watch ever since that McNamara incident. I can't let something like that happen again."

"Mhm…" you mumble, starting into your salad.

I start to think about what happened earlier in the squad room. Nothing exciting, huh? I know I should probably drop it but of course my curiosity won't let that happen. I finish my bite of lasagna and ask.

"Liv, who was that woman in the squad room today?"

You stop in your tracks, but begin to chew again slowly. You take a napkin and wipe your mouth, "An old friend." you say, not even looking at me. You put your napkin down and rest your elbows on the table, picking at your food with your fork.

"Oh? You must have been best friends at some point. You seemed really close."

Still staring at your plate you respond, "Yes. Umm…she was my ex…or is my ex."

"Oh…" Sure wasn't expecting that. Now I'm starting to pick at my food. Is it contagious?

You look at me with a questioning face, but then go back to eating.

Drop it Alex. "You've never mentioned her before…" Why do I not listen to myself sometimes?

"Why would I? She's the past. There's not much to say."

"Well obviously she isn't the past if she turns up at your job and wanting to see you again."

"You heard that?" you say surprised, stopping everything.

"Yes." I say, continuing eating as if it's no big deal. A big stretch of silence starts. I hate this. Many conversations have ended up this way and all over the same topic.

Nothing is said for the rest of the dinner. You pick up our empty plates and load them into the dish washer.

"You want me to make some tea?" you say, already reaching for the kettle.

"Sure." I get up and cross the living room to sit on the couch with my back resting against the arm and put my feet up. Not long after that you emerge with two steaming tea cups. Putting both of them on the low coffee table, you lift my legs and sit down having them rest across your thighs. You start stroking my calf and stare off into an unknown corner that apparently only you can see. I start playing with a loose thread on the end of your shirt until your voice stirs me out of my concentration.

"Alex," you put your arm across the back of the couch, looking deep into my eyes, "There is nothing going on and nothing is going to happen," you pause, thinking carefully about your next words, "We dated two years ago. She used to live in Manhattan with a friend that I went to the academy with, so we got to know each other by her. We started hanging out and took an attraction to one another. Things just sort of clicked so we decided to take it to the next level."

I sit there, staring at your hand on my calf that slowly slides up to my knee. I should be happy with what you've said alone. Prying further will probably get me information that I'm sure I don't want to know.

I take a deep breath as you look at me. I can't seem to stop myself from wondering…

"How long were you two together?"

You look from me to your hand. Your finger that's been drawing tiny hearts on my jeans then stops. You grasp my knee and sigh, "Two and a half years."

"Wow." I say before I can stop myself. Two and a half years? We've been together for nine months and I feel like it's been forever. I can only imagine how two and a half years must have felt.

You stop playing with my thigh and reach for my hand. Intertwining our fingers together you look back at me and start to smile, "I know what you're thinking."

"What?" There's no way you could possibly…

"No, I don't have feelings for her anymore. We broke up for a reason. She didn't like the fact that I was putting my life on the line everyday for work. It started when a suspect Elliot and I were chasing just so happened to have an accomplice. Got me on the back of the head. I went to the hospital and it wasn't pretty," you stop to try and recollect, "Fourteen stitches. After that she got pretty hands on about my job. Turned out she couldn't take the stress. I broke up with her to save her the worry."

I stare at our hands linked together. I never stopped to think about the fact that I could lose you in the blink of an eye. What exactly would I do? I wouldn't be able to see you in the hospital over ignorant political policies. I'd be a wreck. Wait, don't have feelings for her anymore? So what was with the shameless blushing in the squad room after that kiss? When is she leaving again?

"Baby," your voice snaps me out of my line of thinking and I look into your deep brown eyes. "I'm having lunch with her on Thursday. I'm not really sure what she wants to talk about, but I promised her I'd meet up with her. Are you going to be ok with that?"

I think for a minute. It's just lunch Alex, my god. Let the girl breathe and maybe try that whole trust thing. Remember that?

"That's fine. I don't mind." Good girl.

You smile and reach for my chin and lean in, giving me a small kiss on my lips, and then a few more.

Your kisses start to get more feral and before I know it we're reaching for each other. I switch my position from lying across to straddling your lap without our lips missing a beat. Your hands play with the bottom of my shirt, letting your thumbs caress my skin underneath. Your tongue is insistent. Reaching deep, mimicking things I'm sure it will do to me later in more sensitive areas.

Finally, you grab the bottom of my shirt lifting it over my head. You gaze at my lace bra and let your thumb flutter over my covered nipples. Instantly I feel them harden from the arousal. Your lips reach for mine as your fingers start pulling at my jeans. I help, my patience wearing thin. You undo the zipper and don't hesitate, letting one finger shallowly dip into my center careful not to touch what you know I need you to.

I immediately stop kissing you as I become distracted. You start making small circles that I'm sure are designed to drive me crazy. I brace myself, grabbing the back of the couch, my body feeling electric.

"Mmm…see what you've done to me?" God, I'm wet and you've barely done anything. You start to move your hand to more convenient places, but you're taking your time. Are you trying to drive me insane?

"Alex?"

"Hmm?" I barely realize you're talking. I'm still concentrating on your fingers as if my shear will can make them do what I desperately need them to.

"You know I only want you, right?" Your fingers are playful, but your tone is serious.

"Mhm…"

"And that I would never be unfaithful to you…ever?"

"Yes. Liv, please…"

You give me that sexy grin of yours and then without another word, reach deep inside me with two digits. It takes everything in me not to scream out my pleasure. I bite my lip hard as a slow rhythm forms and I can already feel myself contracting around your fingers, but you don't let up. You increase your tempo making long, hard strokes. I rock my hips hard against you, making your fingers go deeper inside my sex. You start to kiss me, but my lips can barely function. I'm lost in your motions and can barely catch my breath.

"Oh god, Liv…" I moan, feeding into the fire which I already know is burning inside you, encouraging you.

I clutch at your shoulders as your pumping becomes more intense. My body begins to shake, signaling the beginning of the end. Your thumb lands directly on my clit making small circles and I cry out over the contact. My breathing becomes shallow as I feel your hot breathe on my neck.

"Come for me." you whisper. My body responds immediately and with that, I'm undone.

"Jesus…Liv…yes!" I collapse on top of you, my center throbbing from the intense orgasm that wracks my body. Your fingers are still pumping inside me, coming to a slow stop. I try and stabilize my breathing, but it only becomes more strained. I rest my head on your shoulder and I can feel your smile on my neck as you kiss me, your fingers stroking my back as my body shudders.

"You ok, baby?" You say, all smug. So full of yourself.

"I will be." I say. I stay there in your arms a while regaining my strength before slowly standing to my feet. I reach for your arm and give it a tug. You look up at me with a questioning look on your face.

"Come on baby," with a small smile I say, "It's your turn."

Thursday came a little too quickly in my opinion. I try and engulf myself in work to make the thought of you going out with your ex run to the back of my mind. This really is ridiculous that I'm so insecure about it. I mean it's just lunch, but I guess the fact you and this person had a past, a very extended past may I add, makes me uncomfortable. I really have a problem.

"Knock, knock." Serena Southerlyn pokes her head in the door. "Got a minute?"

"Sure, come in."

She takes the leather seat in front of my desk and crosses her legs, putting her hands in her lap. The look of pure curiosity. She gives me a small smile, "Hate that this isn't a social call, but I have to talk business every now and then to make sure those pay checks keep coming." she starts.

"So, the Boward case. You know as well as I do that your reaching with the evidence your presenting to the jury."

"Why are you telling me? Liz is first chair."

"I know, but talking to that woman is like talking to a 5 year old that thinks they know the world already. She won't listen. I figure you could talk some sense into her. Or at least get your detectives to get out there and find more evidence. It's a big stretch Alex."

"Why do you even care? This isn't your department." I don't mean to be difficult but seriously, if I wanted a mother I'd go visit the good ol' Cabot estate.

"Branch isn't letting anything slip. He knows we went to trial on this a tad bit too early and trying to catch him on some pretty minuscule crimes. If we lose something so small simply for being too hasty we'll never hear the end of it."

"True." I'm starting to really dislike this case.

"So now that we got that out of the way," She squints her eyes at me and cocks her head, "You ok? I mean you look like you're under stress? It's not that big of a case, Alex"

I give her a small smile, "A lot on my mind."

"Oh, woman troubles perhaps?" she asks, giving me a sad smile.

"Something like that." Serena was the only person in the office that knew and it turned out to be a great relief. Even though I wasn't sure if telling her would be the best for risk of it becoming office gossip, but Serena and I became great friends over the years. On one of those hard nights where I was a wreck not knowing what our future held for us, she came and visited me asking what was going on, that I hadn't been myself lately. I knew that she also preferred the fairer sex, but for some reason telling her took a lot for me to do. I guess when I'm so used to being a very private person and not letting anyone in, it's hard to let one person slip. Serena knows I'm gay, but doesn't know I'm with you. All she knows is that I've been with an anonymous person for the last several months. That's one secret I'd like to keep. Another is that honestly, if it weren't you, then it would probably be Serena… Did I just think that? Whoa, Cabot.

I'm pulled out of my reverie by silence and I stare at her. She obviously said something…

"Alex?"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I said would you like to talk about it? I have the time."

"Oh, it's really nothing. Her ex is in town and wants to have lunch today. She really doesn't know what it's about."

"Have you talked to her today?"

"Not really." Last time I talked to you was this morning on our way out the door. You spent the night after a late movie and dinner. Usually around this time I would get a call or a text from you, something.

"Don't make a big deal about it. I know you have your past and your trials and error, but making a big deal isn't going to help your relationship any, especially over something as small as lunch." She stands up and gives me a knowing look, "Trust her. Don't make her pay for past girlfriend mistakes."

She leaves saying she'll catch up with me later. I get back to work, making the train of thought go to the back of my mind.

Working late has got to have some kind of advantage. I kick off my heels and leave my brief case at the door, stripping out of my clothes as I walk towards the bedroom. I change into some sweats and an old t-shirt and make my way to the refrigerator. I put together a small plate of strawberries and pineapple and sit on the couch with remote already in tow. Immediately lifetime plays across the screen. I cannot believe we actually got sucked into a lifetime movie last night. Speaking of you, I haven't gotten a call from you all day. I spoke with Elliot earlier, but that was purely business and I didn't feel comfortable talking to him about you for some reason. He already knows you and I have been in a relationship. I guess him knowing is going to take some getting used to.

I grab my phone from my brief case and give you a call. "Hey, you've reached Olivia Benson…" straight to voice mail. Ok?

I look at the microwave clock that tells me its 9:43. You should be home by now at least.

I wonder if I should go to your apartment and surprise you. Maybe another late Lifetime movie on your couch? You put one of my suits in your closet and a toothbrush in your bathroom should I ever choose to sleep over one night. It is raining a little tonight, but nothing I can't handle.

Without another thought I make a small over-night bag, put on a pair of running shoes, grab my keys and umbrella and head for the door.

I get to your apartment and let my umbrella down. Instead of ringing the bell, I decide to use the key you gave me. I feel weird using it every time I do, but I guess you gave it to me for a reason, right?

I make my way up the stairs and come to your door and put the key in the knob, hearing it unlock and before entering I knock three times.

"Liv?" I walk in and start towards your living room.

What the…