Title: Watershed

Author: skauble

Pairing: Chloe/Oliver

Rating: PG13 for now

Summary: Oliver Queen never finds his way to Metropolis, but somehow Chloe finds her way to him.

Disclamer: The characters in the fanfiction posted in this journal belong to their respective creators and/or studios, publishers, etc. Sadly, no profit is made and certainly no infringement is intended.

A/N: Some of my author notes are entirely skipable. I would not recommend that for these.

One: This story supposes that Oliver never showed up on Smallville. The episode picks up at Hydro and then I go my own way.

Two: This is what I'm working on for National Novel Writing Month. NaNoWriMo emphasizes quantity over quality and discourages extensive editing. As such, this story has been looked over once and that's it. I'm not promising any kind of quality in this story – not great dialogue, a firm grasp of characters, decent continuity, etc. - so read at your own risk.

Prologue

Chloe Sullivan had faced the end of the world. This didn't feel like that. No matter how badly her heart hurt, she wasn't arrogant enough to compare the one to the other.

No, it didn't feel like the entire world was going to end…but it felt like hers just might.

The day had started well enough. She hadn't slipped in the shower or choked on her muffin. It was always good to start the morning by not dying. After that, though, it went steadily downhill. She'd had fights with both of her best friends which was unpleasant but not unprecedented.

Her oldest friend, Clark, an alien with a bent toward the heroic, and her only girl friend who dating a man whose moral compass seemed to only point in one direction, and she was left to shore them both up while trying to eke out some kind of life for herself.

And after an evening spent in exhaustive contemplation and not a small amount of tears, she'd come to the conclusion that that was the problem. She loved both of her friends, but more and more of her life was being given over to dealing with their problems; often so they wouldn't have to.

Surprisingly, it was even worse since the two had ended their on again, off again relationship. At least when they were together she could expect them to do some of their communicating directly with each other. But ever since their last separation, they'd pulled her deeper and deeper into their convoluted attempts to keep some kind of tie between them.

Of course, Chloe knew that she was far from innocent in this. Because, at the end of the day, the fact remained that she was the one allowing this to happen. She let herself become the enabler in the tragic love story of Clark and Lana. And that, more than anything else, was what had broken her.

Earlier that day, Clark had come to her and censured her for keeping the news of Lana's pregnancy from him. She had, but it hadn't been the betrayal that Clark had implied it to be, and that was a sharp pain that she'd felt in her soul. She'd kept his secret for so long, but when someone else placed the same kind of trust in her, she was the bad guy for not simply betraying them because Clark was overly curious.

And, not long after, Lana had come to her and, in an irony so painful that she couldn't help but appreciate it even as it burned her, accused her of betraying her secret. The very opposite of the accusations Clark had leveled.

The unpleasantness had lasted mere minutes and her friends had clearly felt sorry. They hadn't meant to cause her pain and she never doubted their love. But it had hurt. It had torn at her, but she could see that they were both upset and so she had swallowed her own bruised feelings and forgave them both with a hug and a smile.

When she'd gotten home that night, there was a strange ache in her chest. In the silence it grew until it couldn't be ignored. Forcing herself to focus on the feeling, she realized that she was still battered by the day's happenings; still holding on to the pain of the blame that had been carelessly cast upon her.

It made her wonder why she had smiled, why she had hugged, why she had let them believe that everything was okay when it clearly wasn't. Why hadn't she said something? Why had she just pushed her feelings aside so that they didn't bother anyone else? When did she become this person who thought that her life held less significance than those around her; that it was somehow worth less attention, less concern?

Those questions all had answers; answers that she knew. She'd hidden from them for so long that it was almost impossible to let them see the light of day. But, finally, there was nowhere left to hide, and she was so tired and so drained that she couldn't even muster the effort.

She was always treated as an ancillary concern in her friend's lives. Not because they didn't love her, but because she allowed it. For so long she'd thought of herself as secondary; from the years thinking that her mother had abandoned her to watching Clark pass her over for Lana, again and again, even when he believed that he could never have her. Those perceived abandonments were, by no means, built on the malicious actions of the people in her life, but simply the result of a string of unfortunate events combined with the endless trauma inherent to life in Smallville.

And, having convinced herself that she wasn't worthless, but simply worth less, she'd arranged her life accordingly. She'd let Clark know, not so long ago, that she still had feelings for him, and yet he came to her with all of his Lana issues; not because he was cruel, but because she never told him to stop. And she wasn't sure why. Her heart screamed at her to quiet him. When he sought advice for his troubled sex life she thought she might shatter into a thousand pieces. But she let it go on, and on…and on.

It was an epiphany. A terrible, crushing realization. She wasn't losing herself, she was giving herself away. Slowly, everything was falling by the wayside so that she could focus on other people; could focus on Clark.

All her life she'd wanted to be a reporter. She'd lived it, breathed it, almost died for it on far too many occasions. However, more and more, the time that she could be spending investigating leads and uncovering truths, was spent helping Clark. True, much of the help Clark needed was of the life-saving variety. But much of it was of the moping variety. Sometimes it seemed like Clark couldn't get through a day without her acting as some sort of cheerleader…or some sort of crutch.

Which had a ripple effect throughout the rest of her life. Not only did it hamper her professionally, but it practically annihilated any chance at dating. Although her feelings for Clark ran deep, Chloe wasn't masochistic enough not to try to move on. But it was amazing how few men wanted to approach a woman who seemed to be attached at the hip to their tall, incredibly handsome best friend. Even Jimmy had had reservations about renewing their relationship.

So, she recapped for her own edification, she was sacrificing her professional life, her personal life, and her heart. And the most painful of all the day's realizations became crystal clear.

It had to stop. She had to stop.

She didn't need Clark to be more proactive or Lana not to be so needy or anyone else to change a thing. She was the one that needed to change. She had to remember all of the amazing things she'd planned for her life and recapture the drive to achieve them. Her friends would survive without her constant care, and if they thought that they wouldn't then they were just as messed up as she currently was.

She'd made a decision, one based solely on her needs. And she felt hopeful. And she felt bad. And she felt guilty; so very, very guilty. But once made she felt spurred into action.

She would lose her scholarships by transferring to a new school, but she'd apply for more and make up the difference with more work hours. It would be hard, but lots of people did it. Which, of course, meant a job, an apartment, and a million other things that she knew she could get when she got to-

Chloe's thoughts were abruptly interrupted by a loud knocking at the door. She knew who it was; had heard that exact same knock years now. For a brief moment, panic consumed her and she thought about pretending she wasn't home. Of course, that would be a practice in futility considering her visitor could hear her breathing, could see past the walls that separated them to verify that she was there. Every once in a while, she thought, it sucked having an alien for a best friend.

Too tired to fight against the inevitable, Chloe answered the door.

"Hi," Clark said as he stepped past Chloe and into the small apartment beyond. "You didn't answer when I called earlier and I wanted to make sure you were alright after everything that happened."

"I'm," she paused, knowing that if she wanted a new start it had to begin right then. "Not. I'm really not alright at all."

The words shocked Clark and he stepped towards her, finally noticing the red rimmed eyes that spoke of a prolonged bout of tears.

"Chloe?" His question was a plea – for information, for a chance to comfort her, for her to tell him that she was okay. Although he knew that it was unrealistic, he felt responsible for the people that he loved. When they hurt, he felt as if he failed them somehow. It made him ache for the state of affairs with Lana, but with Chloe…which Chloe it was even harder. Not because he loved her more, but because it was so rarely that she was the troubled one in their relationship.

Chloe Sullivan had always been sunlight and smiles. Although he'd repeatedly denied her charges of moping, he knew that he was getting to the point of taking on brooding professionally. Sometimes it was hard to remember that those roles were reversible. Chloe could hurt and he was determined to be there for her.

"It's not okay."

"What's not okay," he asked when she didn't seem inclined to continue.

With a deep, shuddering breath she looked up at him. "What happened today with us. The part where you seemed so hurt that I'd kept Lana's secret; where you looked at me like I'd betrayed you. That's not okay."

Regret cut through him at her words. He knew that he'd hurt her earlier with his implications that she should have told him Lana's secret. It had been stupid and thoughtless and as soon as she pointed out the utter hypocrisy of his question he'd been incredibly ashamed. And so when she'd hugged him and agreed to let the matter drop, he'd felt an overwhelming sense of relief. But that feeling was slowly draining away as he realized that while she'd let the matter drop, she hadn't let it go. He could see that she'd held in the pain his words had caused and, more than anything, he wanted to ease away the hurt he could see in her eyes.

"I'm sorry," he told her as he stepped closer, pulling her into his arms. "I was a jerk and I'm so, so sorry."

Chloe felt strong arms surround her, drawing her into the comfort of the safest place she'd ever known. But for once she didn't let herself get lost in that feeling. Instead, using a strength she didn't know she possessed, she pressed her palms to his chest and gently extracted herself from his embrace.

She wanted to point out that he hadn't said that at the time. But, honestly, she wasn't sure that it would have made a difference and she wasn't petty enough to want to hurt him more than she had to.

"I'm leaving."

Clark was confused. He didn't know if it was her actions or her words, but he suspected it was a combination of the two.

"Leaving?" He heard the small quaver in his voice and didn't even try to cover it. Something was wrong, terribly, horribly wrong, and he was as desperate to hear what it was so he could fix it as he was to block it out so that he could deny exactly what those words could mean.

"Leaving," she confirmed. "Smallville, Metropolis, Kansas; I'm leaving them all."

His hands grasped her arms and he fought the need to pull her closer once again. "Because of what I said," he asked. "I am sorry, Chloe. I mean it. I never should have accused you. I-"

"You're right, Clark. You never should have accused me. But it's not that. Not just that," she amended. "Do you know that right after you got mad at me for keeping Lana's secret, she came in, angry with me because she thought that I sold her out to the press?"

"I'm sure she didn't mean it, Chloe. She's under a lot of stress…" His voice trailed off as he saw pain flash briefly across her face. And he was genuinely surprised. Not that he'd seen it, but that he'd acknowledged it.

Suddenly he felt vaguely ill. Chloe's feelings for him were something that they all understood, but no one mentioned. Like a topic you didn't raise in polite conversation, the crush she'd had on him for years was always studiously ignored.

Like a dirty secret.

The sick feeling grew, and something began to tighten in his chest as he realized for the first time what that must be like for her; to have her love treated like something shameful, something that needed to be denied at every turn. And the hits kept coming as he realized that it wasn't just turning a blind eye. It was far more active than that. He didn't just overlook her feelings for him; he took every opportunity to underscore the hopelessness of them.

It wasn't conscious. He knew that it wasn't. He genuinely loved Chloe and wouldn't purposefully hurt her like that. But now that he knew what to look for it was so easy to see; so incredibly, glaringly obvious. There was almost never a time when he saw her that he didn't steer the conversation to Lana at some point. He went to his best friend with every problem in his turbulent love affair, no matter how big or small. Even his love life had been fair game.

But in so many ways Chloe was his world. She knew his secret, how different he was, how abnormal, and she thought he was amazing. She believed in him unfailingly; supported him endlessly. She was the one constant in his life. Of course, his mother loved him like no one ever would or could, but ever since his father's death he feared that he could lose her just as easily. But Chloe seemed invincible in a way that even he couldn't be. She was clever and resourceful and she saved him frequently, even with no superpowers to call on.

They were Chloe and Clark. Almost extensions of each other, and he couldn't lose that. He couldn't take that chance. Even without Lana in the picture he wasn't sure that he ever would have been able to risk what he had with Chloe to gamble on something more. After all, it wasn't as if it was working out so well with the woman he'd pursued for years.

So he'd made sure that that avenue was buried under an avalanche of his relationship with another woman so that he wouldn't lose her. But he was losing her anyway, and the thought was practically stealing his very breath.

"I'm sorry."

The words were brimming with intensity and rife with meaning and Chloe knew that they were no longer talking about the events of the day. The look in Clark's eyes was so deep, so filled with an understanding so long sought after that she knew exactly what he was referring to.

A ghost of a smile slid across her lips because her life had so many of these moments – clarity when things had happened that couldn't be changed by regret.

"I know, Clark. I know you are."

His released her arms and his voice dulled as he recognized the truth of Chloe's words. And that her acceptance of his remorse hadn't changed her mind. "But you're still leaving."

"I am." She raised her hand and lightly stroked his cheek as if she could wipe away some of his pain. "I'm the invisible member of a love triangle that we all pretend doesn't exist. You and I have moments, but we pull away and then pretend nothing happened, because I'm afraid you'll say no and you're afraid I'll say yes.

"I love you, Clark Kent. I love you so much. You're so much more incredible then you'll ever know." Tears crested and began to fall. "But I can't keep hemorrhaging my dreams for you. I can't live my life being a satellite in your world; my whole life revolving around you."

Her voice caught and the broken sound rang like hope in his ears. She was hurting and he knew this wasn't what she wanted. He had to believe that he could find the words, the reasons to make her stay; to keep her with him.

"I can fix this," he swore. "Just give me a chance and you'll see – I can change. I can do things differently; do them right."

"No, Clark," she told him with a sad shake of her head, "you can't fix this. Because the problem isn't you. It's me. This isn't about you doing something careless or saying something that hurts. It's about the fact that I just go along with it, never rocking the boat because I'm so afraid you'll leave."

"I wouldn't-"

She didn't let him finish. "It doesn't matter if you would or you wouldn't. It's about the fact that I feel like I couldn't survive if you did.

"I'm not going because I think you'll leave me, Clark. I'm going because I need to prove to myself that I could live if you did; could live without you. I need to remember who I was before I was half of you. I have to believe that I can be happy with who I am. Just me; Chloe Sullivan."

The agony in on his face tore at her and even though she knew that she couldn't make it easier for him, she had to try.

"This isn't what I want. Believe me, this was never what I wanted. But it's what I need."

He was lost, so lost. Because he didn't have a power that could change this; he didn't have an ability that would make her happy staying with him.

"Where are you going?"

She was shaking his head even before he had finished. "I don't think that's a good idea, Clark."

"I can find you," he reminded her.

"I know. But I'm counting on you to remember that you're better than that. I'm hoping that, right now, you can be the friend that I need."

"This isn't forever," he asked as he felt his own tears start to build.

"No," her promise was a sob. "Not forever; never that."

Clark knew that he was only seconds from begging her to stay, and he also knew how unfair that would be. He believed her when she said that she needed this and he also knew that she was probably better off away from his increasingly complex relationship with Lana, who he knew in his heart he was going to fight for. So he swallowed his pleas, nodded his acceptance of her vow, and sped from the room, tearing across the countryside as if he could outrun his pain.

As she closed the lid of another box, Chloe gave thanks that she owned so little. She'd packed what she needed to take with her in her tiny car and boxed up the rest for Lois, who had promised to let her store it until she got settled.

Her cousin had been an angel. Lois had been saddened by her abrupt departure, but having had a ringside seat for Chloe's heartbreaking yearning for Clark, she had agreed that maybe a fresh start was just what was needed.

Surprisingly, given her track record, everything else had fallen into place with little difficulty. Jimmy had been very understanding of her breaking off their budding relationship, and they had parted as friends and The Daily Planet had given her a good reference.

Even Lana had let her go with an amazing amount of understanding. Apparently all three of them had been aware of the unspoken dynamics of their convoluted relationship. She could see in Lana's eyes that her blessing stemmed as much from the thought of simplifying her path back to Clark as it did with a genuine sympathy for someone she truly considered a sister. But Chloe couldn't blame her for that. How could she fault Lana for loving Clark when she so desperately did herself?

As she stood and surveyed the life that she'd packed away, she reached for her keys and the map that would lead her to Star City. Through the pain she felt a sliver of excitement and she wondered if maybe this wasn't the end of her world. Maybe it was just the beginning.