Kakashi was aware of the constant throb of his body. The gentle, yet constant thump in his head of the blood moving from his heavy heart to his head.
His neck.
His knees on the hard ground.
He lifted a heavy fist, using all his energy to slam his hand into the memorial stone.
The heavy thump was in his fist as well.
Heavy breaths heaved in and out as he swallowed thickly. His mismatched eyes filling with tears.
But he didn't feel sad. He didn't really feel anything but the thumping, the wave of something building up in his chest as his shoulders shook.
Just what the hell was he supposed to do now?
After Obito's death, Gai had begun challenging him day and night, never leaving him alone. Rin would always smile and listen to him gripe and complain about the strange, loud boy.
And then when Rin…Gai was loudly proclaiming his relief that his eternal rival was alive. Loud enough that Sensei-then Hokage- rushed in the roof, filled with relief. It seemed his efforts doubled.
Gai was his first teammate in ANBU, carrying him back to the village half dead. When he walked out of the hospital, Gai was there to declare a contest between them, usually in eating, or simple calisthenics.
Then, years after Gai left ANBU, he was still there (he was always there) in the hospital, hollering some infernal garbage about Kakashi's youthful soul.
Kakashi heaved loudly. He gripped the back of his neck, his nails dug deeply into his skin, ripping, tearing, and leaving small trails of blood.
Gai boasted about his new little team. Gai would scream from the roof tops about how wonderful it was teaching the small seeds of Konoha what they needed to know to become beautiful blossoms.
Gai was there with a heavy hand on his back after Sasuke left. A bottle of sake after Naruto left.
A sparring match when Sakura abandoned him for a better teacher.
Kakashi ignored the heavy footfalls as his fingers found his hair, he pulled, relishing in the pain it brought.
Gai was a hell of a talker. But Kakashi soon learned after Sensei was gone that he was an even better listener. He would give you his entire attention. It was the only time he was quite. Calm. Level headed.
Kakashi talked to Gai.
He was sure Gai was the only one who really knew what his face looked like.
"Kakashi-sensei…" a light, feather touch on his shoulder sent him in a fit. He thrashed, smashing his head into the stone, but he ignored it. Arms grasped his in death grips.
Gai would have him in a head lock. Gai would have laughed boisterously. Gai would have walked him home, put him in his apartment before pulling him into a bone crushing hug, making his presence known.
"We are still here for a reason." He would always say. "We are the ones that will carry on. We will thrive to tell the heroic tales of our lost brethren." Like after Asuma's death, he would pull back and grip Kakashi's worn face. "We will speak only of their great accomplishments. We will speak of their bravery and make them live on through our words."
"Kakashi-sensei!" Kakashi stilled at the sound, his eyes snapping up.
Rock Lee stood in his customary green and hideous orange leg warmers. His flak jacket and weapon's pouch were missing. His hair seemed longer, his round, wide; slightly red eyes set were set with determination. He swallowed thickly, his lip trembling slightly.
They stood staring at each other for a few moments before Kakashi jerked himself free of the grip of faceless people. He staggered the few steps to the young protégée.
The boy wasn't quite as tall as the older Shinobi, but he held his shoulders back as he stared determinedly at him. "Kakashi-sensei-"
"Lee." Kakashi gripped Lee's face. The boy seemed to physically relax. "We are still here for a reason." He recited. The younger boy nodded. "We are the ones that will carry on. We will thrive to tell the heroic tales of the Green Beast of Konoha.
"We will speak of his great accomplishments. We will speak of his bravery and make him live on through our words."
Lee's eyes were leaking as he nodded slowly. His shoulders started to shake. "I-I-understand, Kakashi-sensei."
Kakashi wasn't sure who it was that pulled in, but he gave Lee a bone crushing hug that Gai would have been proud of.
III
AN: *hands tissue*
I have major respect for Gai, because you know he was there for Kakashi. He really has been the real constant in Kakashi's life. Probably one of those things that helped Kakashi survive all the traumatic things of his life. If he lost Gai, I think he'd really lose it.
And Lee...Poor Lee...
I blame Serenity-Touch for this. She put me in a...make Kakashi suffer from one of her drabbles.
So if you like KakaSaku, read chapter 49 of her drabble...thing. It's a heart wrencher though...