Ha. This is a kinda disturbing piece about Orochimaru and Kabuto (OH MY GOD GO DIE I HATE YOU). But I mean, come on. The number of cracks I've read about Orochimaru. He DOES go for the little boys! So sue me for messing with it a little.

Or a lot.

Orochimaru and Kabuto sat on a park bench, watching Sasuke run around in the field of flowers. They watched him silently for a few minutes, and then Kabuto broke the silence.

"He really is growing up."

Orochimaru looked at Sasuke for a moment, then nodded. "It seems like only yesterday he was sprouting his wings for the first time."

Kabuto was silent for a minute or two. When Sasuke began chasing a butterfly, he said in a croaky voice, "Our little Sasuke is becoming a man."

A tear glistened in the corner of Orochimaru's eye. He swallowed, wiped his eyes, and turned to look at Kabuto. "It will be the hardest thing for me to say goodbye to him when he goes off to kill Itachi. I've had to say goodbye to a lot of really talented little boys (does this make me disturbed??), but Sasuke will be the hardest. I just hope that one day he will return to us."

Kabuto bit his lip, as if holding a terribly cry back. "At least we have lots of pictures of Sasuke. Sasuke putting on his new clothes, Sasuke getting in the shower, Sasuke in the shower." A single delicate tear ran down his cheek; his glasses (I would really like to go up to Kabuto one day, snap his glasses, kick him in the balls, and shoot him) fogged. He grasped Orochimaru's hand. "At least we'll have each other, right?" he said hopefully, searching Orochimaru's face.

Kabuto was still blind to the fact that on the many nights he spent alone, Orochimaru was watching Sasuke from the trees with his binoculars. So naïve, Kabuto. So naïve.

Orochimaru quickly pulled his hands back to himself, sitting on them, thinking they were out of Kabuto's reach. Uh, pretty sure that Kabuto wouldn't mind reaching there.

"I have a bad rash on my hands, Kabuto, it's contagious, and I would absolutely hate if you caught it from me. Um, yes, of course we'll still have each other!" He gave Kabuto a very weak, forced smile, but Kabuto, being the naïve idiot that he is, beamed.

Sasuke ran up to them, a bouquet of flowers in each hand. He held one out to Orochimaru, and one to Kabuto. He felt inside his shorts pocket (Kabuto and Orochimaru followed his hand with their gaze longingly) and pulled out two cards, presenting one to Kabuto and Orochimaru. Their eyes brimmed with happiness as they accepted his gifts.

On the outside of Orochimaru's card, the word REPLACEMENT DAD had been written in neat cursive, with a picture of Sasuke and Orochimaru holding hands underneath it. On Kabuto's card, it read REPLACEMENT MOM and had a picture of Sasuke and Kabuto holding hands.

Both cards said the same thing on the inside: Thanks for being such a great replacement. You've taught me a lot and I wanted to thank you with this present. Love, Sasuke.

Both replacements wiped their eyes, and gave Sasuke a big bearhug. Sasuke grinned hugely and skipped away. Orochimaru and Kabuto turned to look at each other.

"Let's say we have a little… celebration… tonight in our room, does that sound good?" Orochimaru asked, feeling quite overcome with love, even to Kabuto.

Kabuto nearly wet himself. "Oh yes, Lord Orochimaru, lets!"

The End

And I am NOT being a pervert. I'm simply writing a story about something that is common knowledge. Orochimaru and Kabuto are messed up and enjoy going for little boys. Duh.