Life with Naruto
I don't own Naruto! Though he really is a cute little kitsune…-coos over Naruto plushie- isn't that right you adorable ickle thing?
-Naruto is very scared-
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"Hey Sasuke! Naruko thinks you're an idiot!" Naruto said smugly.
His roommate blinked, in the middle of lifting the trash bag out of its container. "Who the hell is Naruko?"
"My alter ego. You might say she's my feminine side, dattebayo," Naruto sniffed.
"Okay…so your feminine side…thinks I'm an idiot?"
"Dattebayo."
"How surprising," Sasuke murmured, trying a deft knot in the trash bag he was holding.
Naruto
began to sing. "Whatcha gonna do with all that junk, all that junk
in your hands?"
"Um…throw it out?" Sasuke ventured.
"Touché."
"What?" Sasuke frowned.
"Nothing,
teme."
"Dobe, you're a retard," the Uchiha informed him.
"Yeah well Naruko thinks you're a sleaze!"
Sasuke narrowed his eyes dangerously. "What did you say?"
"You heard me. She thinks you're a sleaze, and she says your hair looks like a duck's butt, dattebayo."
Sasuke growled. "Yeah, well your hair looks like you licked an electrical outlet!"
"What!? My hair was rated third sexiest in Konoha Kunoichi Weekly!" Naruto fumed.
"Yeah, well mine came second," Sasuke sneered.
They glared at each other, and then sighed.
"Can't believe Kakashi-sensei got first…"
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Naruto and Sasuke staggered out of their rooms, both puffy eyed, rumple haired and generally disheveled and grumpy.
"You look like hell," Naruto scowled as the other boy grabbed the cereal box first, "Dattebayo."
"So do you, and its your fault," Sasuke growled as his roommate took the Uchiha's favorite bowl (which was lime green and porcelain and white within and otherwise clean and don't you love rhyming words).
"What! I look like hell because I was listening to you being pounded through the mattress!" Naruto snapped, splashing milk over his Cocoa Puffs.
"Excuseme? I was up listening to you pound someone through your mattress!" Sasuke snarled, dumping 2 percent into his Cheerios.
They glared at each other hostilely. Suddenly, a loud moan reverberated throughout the apartment, followed swiftly by a shriek and a wistful sigh.
The two boys looked up at the ceiling accusingly.
"Hellafuck," Naruto swore, "Someone lives up there?"
Sasuke gaped. "Someone lives up there that has sex like that?"
"I'm going to see who," Naruto announced, and jumped out the window. Sasuke sipped his orange juice and ate his cereal, curiously glancing upwards when the moans stopped abruptly.
Naruto came back by the way he'd left, shaking badly. Sasuke lifted a concerned eyebrow.
"K-k-k-kaka-shi-s-s-sensei…" he stuttered. Sasuke gasped.
"He was…?"
"Dattebayo."
"And you walked in…?"
"Dattebayo."
"And
saw…?"
"Dattebayo."
"You poor usura-tonkachi,"
Sasuke sighed sympathetically.
"Dattebayo."
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"Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit…"
Sasuke walked into their apartment to see his friend jumping around clutching his crotch.
"What the hell are you doing?" Sasuke frowned, "That's not how the shit dance goes."
"I have to go pee really bad but I can't remember how to open the door!" Naruto whimpered.
Sasuke blinked. "You're not that stupid."
"Shut up, teme!"
Sasuke walked over to the bathroom, snickering. "Watch carefully, and if you can't remember next time, ask Shikamaru," he said, referring to their neighbor.
He opened the door…and out popped Itachi.
"Sasuke!
Gimme your eyesssssss!"
"AH MOMMY SAVE ME!" Sasuke
shrieked, "Chidori!"
Itachi dodged it, and it blew a hole in the wall.
"OHMIGAWD HE'S INVINCIBLE! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO KILL YOU!?" Sasuke screamed, trying to use Naruto as a shield.
"Sasuke –snigger- give me –giggle- your goddamn –hehehe- eyes!"
Sasuke glanced curiously over Naruto's shoulder at his homicidal brother.
Since when did Itachi have pink hair?
"SAKURA!"
"Ah! Omigosh Naruto that was so worth nearly getting my ass fried!" Sakura laughed as the blond restrained her pissed teammate. "Sasuke-kun, you're so funny when you're scared!"
"I
wasn't scared! Naruto dobe let…me…GO!"
Sai stepped out of
nowhere, holding a puny camcorder. "I don't get the joke," he
frowned.
"DOBE! YOU TAPED IT!? I'M GONNA MURDER YOU!!"
Naruto smirked. Life was more fun when Sasuke was mortally humiliated.
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Teehee, two more chapters (I've got them written) and then I may continue if I have ideas.