A/N: So, the basic story behind this is as follows-
Di wants to write fluff. Di is madly obsessed with Twilight. Di sits down after babysitting one night and attempts to write fluff.
In the space of about an hour and a half, Di writes this.
Angst and fluff. I don't know how that comes about either.
Hopefully it's not just insanely random, though. And yes, this would be my first attempt at writing a Twilight fic.
Disclaimer: Sadly, Twilight and all that amazingness belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I don't even own Robert Pattinson! Sigh….
• • •
I couldn't sleep. There was something wrong with that statement, in my eyes. After all, it was summer, I had officially graduated school, there were no bloodthirsty vampires trying to hunt me (that I knew of, at least), and I was curled up nice and warm in my bed. Everything was perfect, in short. I couldn't think of one reason why I should be awake at… It struck me that I had no idea what time it was, so I pried my eyes open long enough to glance at the clock. 7:30, the bright red lights flashed cheerfully before my eyes. I groaned and quickly shut them again. It was far too early to be up today. So why couldn't I sleep?
I lay where I was for some indescribable length of time, trying to fall back asleep with no success. I sighed, and without opening my eyes, shifted a bit. I instinctively moved towards the other side of my bed, to curl up closer in Edward's arms, when I realized what was wrong.
I was too warm.
Edward wasn't here.
It all hit me at once- the absence of his strong arms wrapped around my body, the way my covers were wrapped too close around me without his cold body on the other side to balance it out. My eyes flew open at once, and I sat up quickly- too quickly, apparently. The sudden movement dumped me onto the floor in one of my less graceful moves, and I scowled. If Edward had been here, that wouldn't have happened.
Of course, the anger didn't last long. I was confused now. Edward was always here in the mornings when I woke up, without fail. He had seemed as reluctant to leave me for any length of time as I had been for him to go. As far as I was concerned, there was no good reason for him to. We didn't have to go to school, I had quit my job, and Charlie was away at work most of the day.
So why wasn't he here?
I tried to think rationally, but it was becoming harder every second. He would have mentioned if he was going hunting, and there was no way I would forget something like that…
Unwanted as it was, and despite the fact that I knew better, the pain started to rise up in me, accompanied by a familiar panic. He left me.
Suddenly I found it hard to breathe, and my heart was pounding in my chest. It was like a mantra my mind repeated over and over. He left me. He left me. He left me. I knew it wasn't true, but I couldn't make myself believe that. The hole in my heart that I had thought was gone for good began to tear at the seams, ripping wide open again. My arms instinctively wrapped around my chest, trying to hold myself together as I struggled to find sanity. It wasn't there; if Edward had been nearby, I would have seen exactly what kind of effect he clearly had on me. But that was the key point, wasn't it? That he wasn't here?
He left me. He left me. He left me.
I realized with something of a start that I was crying. When had the tears started pouring down my face? More important, how much time, exactly, had passed? I glance up at the clock. 7:41.
Oh. Not that long, then.
It had really only been a few minutes? I glanced at the clock, daring it to say something different. 7:42. Apparently that was right, then. My mind wasn't playing trick on me.
Except that it was, just not in that way.
He left me. He left me. He left me. He left me…
A sudden noise by my door startled me. Had I woken Charlie up? I managed to look up through the tears, my arms still wrapped as tightly around myself as I could get them, and promptly gasped. Had the hallucinations already started? If they were going to be this realistic this time around, maybe I could handle this. Last time it was only his voice, but I could see him this time…
He looked surprised, worried maybe. In a movement too fast for me to see (my imagination was good, I had to give it credit), he put something I couldn't see down and kneeled beside me.
"Bella, love, what happened?" Another involuntary sob broke through my lips; it was the closest I could come to a real answer. His golden eyes were sweeping over my face, probably trying to find the source of my anguish. "Did you hurt yourself somehow?" His eyes flickered briefly to my hand, encased beautifully in plaster so I couldn't break the knuckle- again. I managed to shake my head a little. Shaking my head was good, I decided. When I shook my head, I could actually communicate with- Edward. A gasp escaped my lips.
Edward was here. Edward was here, making sure I was ok. Edward hadn't left. I could have laughed with the relief I felt as the hole in my heart swiftly filled back in. Instead, I think I just started crying again, because suddenly Edward was concerned even more. He gently pulled me onto his lap, wrapping one of his arms around me and sending shivers down my spine. His other hand found my face, running a line from my hairline down to my jaw before resting on my cheek and forcing me to look at him. "Bella," he murmured, his eyes full of nothing but concern and love. "Bella, what happened?"
To add to my already horrible appearance, I felt a blush rise in my cheeks. Wonderful. "I thought you left," I whispered, so quietly that he probably wouldn't have even heard me if he hadn't been gifted with extra-sensitive hearing. His brows creased slightly in confusion.
"But I did," he mumbled, still trying to figure out why this would cause me such trouble. "Just for a little while- Alice wanted me to model my tuxedo for her quickly, so I picked up breakfast for you while I was out anyways." That explained what the object he had been holding was. I noticed now that he had changed his clothes while he was away as well. "I wanted to surprise you." I felt nothing short of foolish now; clearly I had overreacted greatly. I choked back an ashamed laugh. His finger lightly brushed across my cheek, lifting a tear away with it. "Why should that- oh." His voice became just as quiet as mine had been a moment ago. He had finally figured out the cause for my theatrics.
I watched as the concern died from his eyes, watched as the features of his beautiful face smoothed over briefly, before being replaced by a pained expression. How could I have thought that? How could I have jumped to such a conclusion, when he had promised so many times he would never do that again? I immediately felt guilty, and I shifted slightly in his arms so I could wrap my arms around him. He tightened his grip on me in response, his hand slipping from my face to hold me closer, the sorrow in his eyes becoming even more pronounced. I couldn't stand to see him like this.
"I'm sorry, Edward," I mumbled, burying my face in his shirt. He was silent for a moment.
"You're sorry?" I could hear the surprise in his voice. "What do you have to be sorry for?" He did not make me look at him this time, but I could feel his gaze on me, intent as always.
"For overreacting," I explained, needing him to forgive me. "I should have known better."
He laughed a hollow laugh. "You silly, silly girl." I did look up at him now, confused. "You have nothing to apologize for," he said tenderly, the traces of sorrow still evident in his face, but softer now. I knew all of a sudden that he was about to start apologizing, again, for leaving me the first time, and I realized that I really wasn't in the mood for that this morning. I was just glad to have him here, with me. I shook my head quickly.
"And neither do you," I interjected, before he could go any farther. I could see that he was about to argue with me on that point, so I gave him the sternest look I could master. "You don't," I insisted. I thought for a moment, before smiling weakly. "Maybe I'm just getting pre-wedding jitters. Maybe I'm afraid you're getting cold feet," I teased him, though it was a pathetic attempt at a joke, considering my outlook on said event. He seemed to appreciate the effort, however, so my mission had succeeded. He smiled a bit, almost as if he were trying to fight off the amusement. He probably was.
"That would seem to indicate that you're looking forward to the wedding then," he said softly, his smile suddenly seeming smug. I couldn't help it; I made a face, small as it was, and he chuckled.
"Not particularly, no," I said. I relaxed slightly; this was a safe topic of conversation.
Edward grinned then, as if he were enjoying some private joke. "So you aren't excited for it even the slightest?" he mumbled, leaning in slightly so that his cool breath fanned over my face, his breath taking scent filling my lungs as I inhaled. My heart reacted immediately, seeming to double in pace. I knew what he was doing, but I was helpless to resist. Stupid vampire and his stupid ability to dazzle me into submission. I swallowed, trying to retain control of my stream of consciousness.
"Um, no?" I squeaked. It was decidedly unimpressive. His grin grew- he knew this was going to be an easy win, and I did too. That didn't stop my heart from going even more frantic as he leaned in even closer, his breath tickling my neck as he put his face next to mine, his cheek lightly touching mine.
"And you're sure about that?" he whispered, his voice sending a small shiver through me. I could vaguely recall something about marriage, but that was it. I could barely remember my own name at this point, let alone trivial details like what time it was or what we were discussing.
"No," I mumbled, trying to remember to breathe. I wasn't succeeding very well. His lips curled up in a smile as he pressed them to my cheek. He had won, one hundred percent, and I had no clue what it was he had just triumphed in- and furthermore, I didn't really care at this point.
He pressed a few more light kisses to my cheek, slowly making his way to the corner of my mouth. I could see his eyes, a shining golden color, and I could see the way they were smoldering slightly. I was pretty sure my heart all but stopped then. "I thought as much," he whispered, and I had no clue what that even meant, because then he pressed his lips to mine, and everything else in the world became unimportant.
Only a few seconds later, however, he pulled back and shot me a crooked grin that would have been breathtaking if I had any breath left. "Bella…" he reminded me gently. I obediently let my lungs fill with much needed oxygen. A few more deep breaths, and my brain began to function properly again.
When my heart had slowed back down to a semi-normal rate, I managed to scowl at Edward. "You don't fight fair," I complained, even though it wasn't really a complaint at all. He knew that, of course, and so he laughed, a low chuckle that resonated deep in his chest.
"I never said I would," he said with a smile. I sighed slightly, but I couldn't help from smiling right back at him. What had been looking like a completely miserable morning had made an abrupt turn about for the better. I was beginning to look forward to the day now.
"You should eat," he said suddenly, breaking the moment. "Alice expects us to be back at the house in a little while. She has a few things she wants to triple check with you for the wedding. Apparently she doesn't trust her visions to give her an accurate reaction." I scowled. Take that back- this day WAS going to be completely miserable.
Something in my reaction seemed to amuse Edward, however, because all he did was pull me into his arms so that he could stand up, before setting me down lightly on my bed and pulling a tray full of food in front of me. I rolled my eyes but starting eating anyways.
So maybe today wasn't going to be exactly perfect. It was going to be far better than I had originally expected.
I caught sight of Edward in my peripheral vision, and he gave me a wide smile as he sat down next to me and wrapped an arm around my waist. That put everything into perspective.
For Edward, I would gladly weather a day of Alice's seemingly endless primping.
After all, we had an eternity ahead of us, and I was going to make this most of it.
• • •
I know, it was a bit random there at the end. I'm still not entirely sure I love that ending, but oh well. Hopefully it actually made sense, and wasn't just angstangstangstang- Oh, look, FLUFF!
And if you must know, reviews are MY brand of heroin. So I'd love to hear what you thought!