A/N: One-shot for now. This is a little one-shot that I found hiding among my work, and I don't have any updates ready on my other stories, so I thought that I could put this out there. I have my ideas about who is narrating, but I want to hear what you guys think. Send me your ideas, if you like it, I might continue.
Another throat cut. Another life lost. Another name in the ledger. Everything is covered in red. That's all I see anymore. Red covers everything I see, and it's all that keeps me going. I see it in my dreams, all the faces. The names escape me. Too many have fallen at my hand for me to remember them all. A small face peeked out at me from behind a corner. I snapped a knife at the face.
A little girl's shriek sounded and the face disappeared as my knife thudded into the wall behind. I jumped over my last victim and sprinted to my blade. Something shifted behind me and I whirled around. Oh, just the girl. Funny. She's dressed all in white. Her face is round and perfect, like a little angel.
She stood there just waiting. What kind of kid just does that? I'm covered in blood, gore, perhaps some of her friends or family was in the massacre and she's just waiting for me to do something. No fear, no hatred. I've been to hell and back, it has to show. This little girl… For the first time in years I reached out. I extended my grimey hand to her.
She squealed happily and rushed to wrap her arms around my chest. I froze in utter surprise. I've never been just hugged. There's always a trick. She pulled back and said, "My name is Alice! What's yours?" Guilt ripped through me. Her white dress was stained burgundy. Not even a second with her and I've already spoiled her perfection. I never should have reached out.
Without a word I stepped away from the child. She followed me with a smile that could light up the world and took my hand in hers. "Where are we going?"
She never stopped following me. If anything she clung harder as I tried to let go.
I cried out in the night as red followed me through my dreams. Buckets and barrels of red chased me down hallways and through houses. I woke up covered in sweat and scraping at my arms every night. Shower away the blood. Wash it away. It never goes away. Soaked in fear and guilt I'll climb back into my bed and curl up, waiting, waiting for the next attack, the next kill. That's all that keeps me sane. Blood in the ledger, flooding with red. Routine gave way with Alice's arrival. She stopped my rocking, curled up beside me and held my arm just as tightly as I hold onto the red.
It's a punishment. I have to watch her turn into me now don't I? Some higher power, killing her innocence like a rabid dog to be put down. I refuse to let that happen. I may be an animal, but not even I'm that evil. I won't let it happen. I refuse. My whole life I have fought for… I don't even know what anymore. I can fight for her.
We waded through blood together. She sat so quietly on the bench while I threatened contact after contact. They all have their hidey holes, but no one spoke. I expected someone would. I tried my own places, but too many knew me. They followed us home and attacked after dark. I stopped sleeping as much.
Months of searching. Weeks of fighting. Alice sat atop my shoulders, never once allowed to help. I made her promise each time I left to go to the police if I didn't return. She made me promise to come back. I wondered once what she would do if I ever told her what happened to her family. Who happened to her family. Part of me thinks she knows, but if I ask, it will change things. I can't protect her if she runs. So I continue through the darkness with this little girl lighting my way.
"Finally." I sighed, closing the door on everything. Alice made grabby hands at me and I lifted her up. "What do you think Alice? Good enough?" I felt bad, but honestly this is the best place she's ever been with me. Almost upstanding.
A weight fell from my shoulders as she beamed up at me, "I love it! Are we gonna stay here forever?" Her gaze is so very trusting. It's hard to deny her, she is a precious thing to be protected.
I kissed her head and took her upstairs to her little room. "We can stay as long as you want." I will do everything to keep you safe and happy. She squirmed out of my arms and went squealing through her room, telling me everything she wanted done with the room.
It's been months now since she last woke me from a nightmare. The worst thing I've done in even more months is fishing for dinner a few times. I looked so long for the light, a chance to live. And it's all been staring me in the face.
She called me daddy.