GAME OVER
0-0-0
Quick fingers flew over the buttons and a thumb jerked the joystick violently as the little avatar responded, rolling to the side just in time to dodge an attack. The creature, who could only be described as a nightmarish-hell, quickly spewed a noxious toxin; poisoning the her character. As blue-eyes widened and pulse raced, she managed to get far enough away to pop a quick antidote, a bit of moss to help her little buddy. As the animated motions played out, the woman swiveled her camera around to check to see what the monster was doing-
As was greeted by both the sound and animation of it charging towards her character - who was still healing.
"Damn-it," she swore, and nearly paid the price for her lax in observation as the stampede nearly took her entire life-bar. The creature, whether as an blessing or curse, was momentarily stunned; and leaping back into the fray with what could only be described as a roar, the bronzed skinned woman cried out, "Got your ass now!"
Her little avatar slashed with it's claymore, taking chunks of health from the beast. As she focused her attention on the screen, blue eyes concerned with only destroying that gigantic wreck called a boss, the woman completely forgot that she wasn't the only one here.
Unaware of her audience, she was being watched by two others; a pale-skinned woman who could only be described as statuesque and a man with dark shark-like brows. He watched his friend as he held grocery bags full and bulging with food, shaking his head at her antics while secretly rooting for her - the other woman was silently giggling into her hand, watching as her crush was-
"No fucking- Oh, come on!" The boss reared back on it's hind legs, exposing the gaping vertical-maw lined with serrated spear-like fangs. It dripped with deadly spittle, and without further delay, slammed into the armored warrior. Crushing and killing the character instantly.
"MOTHERFUCKER!" Korra, red-faced and scowling, shouted at the screen - causing her observers to look at the woman who ranted, "Stupid piece of a jumped-up wanna-be, motherfuckin'- YOUR NOT EVEN A REAL DRAGON! Your just some fuckin' science-fair monster-reject who hides in a fuckin' sewer!" Her grip iron and controller creaking, the Water-Tribe girl continued raving. "BECAUSE YOUR TOO MUCH OF A PUSSY TO FIGHT WITH REAL DRAGONS LIKE GOD-DAMN KALAMEET OR EVEN THE EVERLASTING DRAGONS, YOU FUCKIN' CROCIDILE-LOOKIN' LIZARD LEGGED VAGINA!" She punctuated the rant with throwing her poor-helpless controller, footballing it and nearly breaking it to pieces.
With that final bit, Asami couldn't help but keel over- Laughing at her dearest friend and roommate who just now noticed their presence. Mako, who went into the kitchen to unload, called out, "Have fun with the lunatic, Asami."
"Piss off, shark-face!" Dark-brows furrowed and lips pulled back in a pout, Korra looked at the words on the screen; words that she'd seen way too many times already. You Died.
What it failed to say was, You Died By Getting Literally Pussy-Whipped By A Giant Monster-Vagina That Looked Like It Belongs To A Hundred Year-Old Hooker, Congratulations! You Fail At Not Only Life, But Royally-Suck Donkey Balls At Gaming!
It was a slap in the face if there ever was one.
"K-Korra," Asami, deep-green eyes watering with mirth and swan-like face reddening, slowly calmed herself down enough to ask, "What are you doing?"
"What's it look like? I got my ass handed to me by some-" Korra motioned with her hand, to what she saw was a carnage, "some fuckin'-"
"Giant fake vagina-dragon?" Asami finished, a slight giggle escaping. She took in Korra's disheveled appearance, her dark-brown hair mussed and face pouting. Clothes in a messy-disarray and feet bare. It screamed cute to Asami, who couldn't help but squeal internally.
Korra nodded, and sighed, hand going through her already messy hair. Her t-shirt, which read "Death, Death Everywhere" with a lightly-clad swordsman going up against a horde of monsters both seen and unseen, rode up revealing smooth-muscled skin. Adverting her gaze (and willing herself not to blush) Asami asked, "What game is this anyway?"
"Huh? Oh, it's called Dark Souls. I picked it up a few weeks ago with Bolin." She sat back down on the comfy black-colored couch, arms covering the backs and leaned back comfortable. The Water-Tribe woman continued, " It's fun believe it or not, but there are times when it can be..."
"Like that?" The engineer motioned with a slender hand, having the other woman mesmerized with the move before replying.
"Yeah..." Korra drew out, sheepishly. Asami sat down, not too close to be embraced or too far to be rude. "You kinda get into the game the more you play and since it's really hard it can get... intense." The blue-eyed girl explained, still slightly embarrassed at having Asami of all people witness her rant.
And no, Mako didn't count.
"How intense can it be? All your doing is tapping a button and making your character swing a sword around." The pouting gamer snapped over to the woman, looking at her with an expression that screamed, 'Bitch, please.'
"Asami, it's a bit more than just 'hit a button and one shot a bad-guy.' You actually have to think about what your doing and about where your going. If you die, it's mostly your fault because you didn't pay attention. Or in my case, took a chance to heal my guy."
"So you died because you took to long to, what, heal?"
"Yep, pretty much."
"So, you nearly breaking that controller that I made you, for Christmas - was your fault?"
"No!" Korra looked at her, brows furrowing. "It's not my fault that the damn dragon charged!"
"But you literally just said, and I quote, 'If you die, it's your fault!"
"Nope," The younger-woman shook her head, causing her short hair to wave a bit as she did. "Nope, nuh-uh, I don't remember saying that."
"Yes, you did!"
"Nope, don't remember."
"Korra-!"
"Seriously, the dragon did it!" Still sitting on the comfy-couch, Korra leaned toward Asami. Hands raised and motioning, she said, "If that stupid boss never charged at me than I probably wouldn't have footballed my controller!"
"'Probably?' So you would've 'footballed' your controller anyway, win or lose?" Slender-brow arched and lip slightly curled, Asami felt a slight rush poking fun at Korra instead of it being the one poked at. She could get used to this.
Korra stuttered, faced confused and pouting. The heiress thought that she'd won, until...
"Yeah, well, I'd like to see you try!"
"Seriously?" Both brows arched and mouth slightly agape, Asami looked into deep oceanic-eyes who locked with hers. Unyielding, unflinching, they shone with a resolve and determination - a challenge.
"As serious as me getting my ass kicked not even five minutes ago. You play the tutorial- see for yourself."
"The tutorial? How about I play against the monster-dragon-thing?" She motioned with a sporadic hand-wave, face lined with confusion at being started off so easily.
"One, you don't know how to play the game so it wouldn't be fair." A slender digit was raised and accompanied with another, "Two, if you think the tutorial is easy than either you seen vids on how to beat it or your full of shit - I personally think it's the second one." Asami smirked and folded her arms over her chest. The shorter woman leaned forward, eyes narrowing and mouth curling into a smile, "And three, because if you lose than I have bragging rights for a month."
"Bragging rights? Okay, what about when I win? What do I get?" Hooded green-eyes looked as the Water-Tribe woman leaned back. Face pondering and hand stroking her chin in a contemplative gesture as though she had a beard. A light-bulb, figuratively, went off.
"You win?" Asami gave a slight, graceful nod and with that Korra continued, "You win, I'll do whatever you want."
Eyes widened at the implications, the heiress' breath slightly caught. Heart raced, she instead said, "Alright deal." And with that they shook hands.
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
Asami had no idea what the hell she was doing, but in the space of five seconds (when in actuality it was a few good minutes) she was holding Korra's controller and creating a her virtual character. Looking at the controller, the design was created to look like two wolves bursting out and creating the handles, she surmised that it would be good to test and see if it worked properly after Korra's 'outburst.'
After going through the motions and creating a character she was happy to play as; a woman who looked like herself wielding a scimitar and wearing a hooded leather-cloth armor set, Asami was ready and without further ado, clicked 'Accept.'
An old wizened-voice, of a woman matronly and riveting, spoke, "In the Age of Ancients, the world was unformed, shrouded by fog..."
Asami was highly impressed with the cinematic, the story unfolding before her eyes as she took on the form the Everlasting Dragons, the Arch-trees and grey crags blanketed by fog. Then it changed and showed a decayed-bony skeleton mass, enveloped by withering darkness and multiple skulls that made up its hunched form - the narrator spoke, "Nito, the First of the Dead..."
"Well, he seems like a fun guy..." Asami commented wirily, not wanting to fight Nito, the Witch of Izalith, nor even Gwyn and his literal army of knights. sitting behind Asami on the comfy-couch, Korra snorted at the comment. It then changed into a hunched starved figure, ash-stained and familiar, cradling a small flame within skin-taught bony-hands. The old woman spoke once more,
"And the Furtive Pygmy - so easily forgotten..."
"Wait, why is he forgotten? Did he do something bad or..." But was shushed by Korra, who watched the screen with the same amount of interest.
The battle between the Everlasting Dragons and the Lords unfolded, and the Lords proving victorious with the help of a traitor - Seath the Scaleless.
"Seath, you asshole!" The beauty shouted, making Korra bark with laugher at the sight of the older woman losing some of her 'composure.' Korra took in the slender sylph-like frame and focused determination, leaning forward to take in the game. Heart racing, the bronze hued girl felt closer than ever to the older, hard-working engineer. Especially now that the paler woman let her hair loose, so to speak.
"What the hell?! I look like-like burnt bacon?! Korra!" The girl couldn't help but burst out, tears escaping closed eyes as she doubled over in laughter. As the cinematic concluded with the character rising from their sitting position, the mysterious knight who dropped the glowing body and disappeared; with the elderly creaking voice that seemingly came from everywhere and nowhere-
"This is your fate..."
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
The thumbs that now flew over the buttons were paler and more slender in nature. Their owners eyes were sharp and focused - taking in the graphics and animations with a keen calculating gaze. Her wanderer, fast and lithe, moved towards the ladder, leading to the courtyard. Grass withered and dirt-worn, rubble scattered about from the remains of the walls and congregated near the left-side of the great wooden door. Before it, there was a sword, blade buried into the earth and ashes faintly smoldering.
Urging her character forward, with Korra whispering, "Go to the bonfire and light it." She did as prompted, watching her little character motioned and light the fire with a wave of her pixelated hand, watching as it lit without further animation or prompt.
"Whoa, can she do magic?"
"Yeah, but you don't have any spells right now so... no."
"But, wait, she just set that fire with a hand wave. How can she do that if she can't cast spells?"
"Because Dark Souls. Now play the game."
As the little character moved away from the fire, Asami explored the small area ignoring the obvious. Tying the barred-door to the right of the bonfire with no success, she then relented and went to the great doorway.
Watching with bated breath as the wanderer pushed, both hands on the door, and with all of their strength opened it. Revealing a large room, seemingly deserted and worn. Rubble scattered and ground scarred, there were large columns with ancient urns filled with spirit's knew what. The whole scene was ominous and Asami proceeded with caution. At her gentle urging of the joystick, the female avatar moved forward. Noting a message near one of the far-left end of the columns, she went towards it without thought-
And was nearly scared shitless at the sight of a hundred-ton demon wielding a giant mace-like club coming out of nowhere.
"HOLY SHIT! Where the Hell did he come from?!" She ran to the opposite end, trying to find some way out. It moved, slowly but surely, towards the panicked player. "No, no, no, stay the hell away from me!" And as Korra was laughing and not being much of a help, Asami was left on her own. "Come on, come on- Ah-ha, there it is!" And upon finding the door hidden yet lighted by a single torch Asami charged her character forward. The hulking monstrosity nearly clubbed the poor avatar to death, but the little wanderer managed to evade just in the nick of time.
"So... still think it's a bunch of 'hitting buttons,' princess?" Turning around and sending a glare towards the Water-Tribe girl, the heiress replied, "Alright, so maybe it's a bit more than that. Now shut up and let me play." And ignoring Korra's 'I told you so,' Asami played.
Weaving through the enemies, and eventually gaining a buckler and scimitar; she came across a fog gate and, going through it found her view looking down on the same courtyard with the first-bonfire. Turning instinctually to the right, Asami came across two sets of stairs: one going down and the other up. Going down, she came across the barred door and opening it, went immediately to the bonfire - resting briefly.
"If your thinking about using the same gate, it won't work - that demon barred it shut."
"Well, where do I go from here, oh mighty warrior?"
Korra snickered, "Well, I would go up the stairs, oh intelligent one." And as Asami did so, going back to the cross-route between stairway and hall-way, the engineer retorted childishly,
"Yeah, smarter than you!"
-And proceeded to go up the stairs where a giant boulder (of all things!) rolled right over her character. Nearly killing her.
Korra felt that her sides were burning; the amount of laughing and giggling in one day being more than she does in a single month. Asami was flabbergasted; mouth agape and eyes wide. Unable to do anything else, she asked, "D-Did that- Did that just happen?"
Gasping for breath, a wheezy voice replied, "Y-yeah, it- oh h-holy shit! ha!" The bronzed skinned girl giggled harder, shorts riding up as she folded her muscled legs up. Asami, trying in vain to ignore the display, commented with a slightly evil smirk,
"Well, at least it wasn't a giant dragon that could pass for Chief Beifong's you-know-what." And with that Korra was torn between laughter and embarrassment.
"Is your character on the lower stairway?" With a nod as confirmation, Korra continued, "Go to where the boulder was and look to the wall."
"Why should- oh, hey. Awesome," Upon noticing a newly opened entrance, she went inside.
It was dim, save for a single ray of light dawning upon the fallen knight. They wore armor, and carried with them a magnificent sword and shield, the cloth a royal blue and embroidered with a crescent of some unknown kingdom. Their face helmeted, but from the voice Asami recognized him-
The same knight that help her character escape earlier.
"...Oh, you... You're no Hollow, eh?" His voice breathless and accented, it was pained and weary. "Thank goodness... I'm done for, I'm afraid... I'll die soon, then lose my sanity... I wish to ask something of you... You and I, we're both Undead... Hear me out, will you?"
Asami clicked the 'Yes' option, wanting to hear what the knight had to say. Curiosity compelling her, she listened to his sad tale and agreed to help.
"Oh... one more thing - take this." Giving her character a strange golden-glowing bottle, "An Estus Flask, an Undead favorite." And almost immediately after, giving her a key to the door. Speaking one last time in a weary, worn, and raspy tone; the knight bid her farewell.
"...Now I must bid farewell... I would hate to harm you after death... So, go now... And thank you..."
As Asami left the knight, she turned to Korra asking, "Isn't there some way we can help him? Like a spell or potion, or..."
The younger woman shook her head, eyes saddened. "No, originally he had a backstory and even was supposed to help you. But the creators cut it out in favor of someone else."
"What, really? Does he even have a name?"
"Yeah, Bolin was mad about it, so he looked it up on the wiki - his name is Oscar, Oscar of Astora."
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
Another fog gate, and this is where Korra was suspiciously smirking a lot more, so Asami was cautious. Going through it, there was nothing out of the ordinary... until...
"Wait, I'm up; where is- oh, hey-WHAT THE HELL?!" Realizing her position, the Asylum Demon, a.k.a the 'Big Fat-Ass That Scared Asami Shitless,' was looking 'up' at them. And, not knowing what to do, Asami took a chance-
And jumped on him, landing a perfect strike.
"Oh yeah - kick his ass, Asami!" Korra cheered, as her crush proceeded to do as asked. The heiress moved her character behind the demon, two-handing her weapon and draining his massive life-bar. However, like most good things, that rush of good luck come to an end-
"Holy shit- HE CAN FLY?!" Korra chuckled and snorted as Asami quickly glanced at her roommate, "Damn-it Korra, why didn't you tell me?!"
"Because, and I quote, you needed to play the tutorial."
"HOW THE HELL THIS IS STILL THE TUTORIAL?!" Eyes wide as she jerked the controller, her character dodging a slamming attack from both demon and it's mace-club. Half-alive, Asami used the distraction to heal. While the demon crept up on her animated character, Asami used the last few precious seconds, and quickly sprinting to the back, finished him off-
"TAKE THAT FATTY!" She jumped up as the 'Victory Achieved' appeared in gold-yellow on the screen. She did a little jig, with Korra joining in for the hell of it.
"Whoo-hoo, that was badass! You did pretty good princess."
"Thanks Korra. That," She set the now slightly-sweat controller down with a slight grimace. "Was pretty fun, but I think I'll stick to working on cars and blueprints. Still, it does give me some ideas..." She pondered with a slight tilt of her brow, contemplative.
"Alright, so now that I won the bet-"
"Wait, what do you mean you won the bet? I won, since I didn't die at all during the tutorial area."
"No, you wanted to see how intense the game was- well now you know. And I won."
"No, no, no, you-" A slender digit poked into a muscle hardened stomach. "-wanted to see if I died or not playing the tutorial. Since I didn't, that means I won."
"Bullshit! It was about whether or not the game was intense! You said it was harder than it looked and that means I win- so I can brag!"
"Brag all you like, doesn't change the fact that I still won."
"No, you didn't."
"Yes, I did."
"Oh no, you didn't, Sato!"
"Yes I did, Korra!"
"GUYS!" Both women turned from their close proximity to face Bolin, twin sets of eyes blazing with challenging competitive fire. Bolin, meanwhile, raised his hands in a 'Don't shoot me' gesture.
"Mako said; and I'm quoting him so please, for the love of the spirits don't kill me - 'If your done having your couple's argument on weather or not you get to be on top during sex than dinner's ready. I don't want to have to come in and find you two making Korrasami babies on my table.'" He quickly darted out before either woman said another word.
...
...
"Wanna go have dinner?"
"Huh, oh yeah - sure."
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
[As you leaned back from the bright, computer screen; you notice a tattered old-parchment fluttering - as though just recently set there. Picking it up, you read, 'Author's Note.']
Dear Reader, hello and welcome. You probably don't know me, but that's quite alright for I go by many-many-MANY names; but I much prefer to be called by my simple moniker The Gentleman With A Cane. Recently, I have joined this lovely little website and have penned one story; although currently uncompleted called "Gaze not into the Abyss" in the FROZEN section of this site (Possibly in the rated M section). Since it is a verity of genres and not a singular one, I thought to try my hand and one- mainly, Comedy/Humor.
I have played Dark Souls/Dark Souls II and both are quite enjoyable games, to which I highly recommend playing solo (I despise playing with others online as some are, for lack of a better term, complete jackasses). I haven't played Bloodborne yet, but I am quite eager to try my hand at it.
Now, before this becomes a letter, I will close with this: If I have made any mistakes please leave a review with constructive criticisms. If your hear to flame, than please wait for those who are currently throwing bricks at my other story for me to make a nice-cozy fireplace. This freezing Hell that I'm currently experiencing could use some hot cocoa and s'mores; but I'm not giving any to the little shit's who are the type to set my manor on fire. Remember this: My dogs are not the type to let you go easily once they have a hold of you, and my estate is QUITE deep in the far darkened-woods...
[Signed with a flourish, of an ancient script that spoke of an even older-ancient rhyme]
The Gentleman With A Cane