Life through her eyes

by Seratiah The Noble

Simple, it's about Catherine's point of veiws in life and what she thinks about Quatre. There are made up ppl in this. DON'T USE THEM! N-e-ways, R&R.

"Life through her eyes."

By: Careless Dreamer

Nov. 30th year A.C. 220

Well I was given this idea to write your thoughts down is able to let your stress go, I doubt it will work, but who said it would hurt? So I'll give it a try.

Catherine Bloom

Dec. 1st year A.C. 220

Today was boring expect the fact that Trowa and I got into fight. I knew that someday he would go to war or stop it once again or at least try to. I don't want to lose him again. But it's time he makes his own choices as he told me. I, somehow, let him go to be a Preventer. Then before he left my dump or sorry-excuse-for-a-trailer he told me that I need to go get a job. I haven't wanted to talk about it, but here I go.

About three months ago the Manger came to us and told Trowa and me that the circus was going out of business. Not that anyone had bought us out or anything. But we just weren't making enough money to keep it open. Instantly Trowa knew I was hurt. I had been working with the circus since I was fifteen and about a few years later I was reunited with Trowa. But I never showed that I was hurt. Then the shows became free and still little people came.

Catherine Bloom

Dec. 6th year A.C. 220

Trowa has already left us and so have some of the other people that work here. But I want to stay with this circus until the end. Then the Manger walked up to me and gave me a big hug. His eyes watering with tears.

"Catherine, I want you take the rest of the month off."

I looked at him my own eyes are now tearing.

"Manger! I can't! I want to stay here and work the holiday off!"

"No, Catherine. Go stay with your friends or family."

Then Trowa spoke from his hiding place.

"Cathy, listen to him."

With the odds against me I complied silently and walked off. Later Trowa came to me again.

"Cathy?" he asked.

"Trowa?" I asked concerned at how low his voice was.

"Quatre and I have to go to this party, and this year I'm alone. Will you come with me?"

I thought a moment and then remembered. He always attended some kind of party each year. His wife at his side, until her death. Come to think of it. Quatre had married too and had an unfortunate accident with his family and so did Trowa. It was as if they were connected.

Here's how it started. Quatre and his wife, Vera, were keeping the military base from attacking the city and causing a riot. The soldiers got smart and used their new ammunition that explodes when it hits its target and almost kills instantly. Quatre was watching what was going on in front of him and wasn't watching his back. But Vera saw that the enemy take it to their advantage and shot at him. Vera dove in the way and took the shower of explosive bullets for Quatre. The soldiers were shocked that they had killed a person and left the scene. The soldiers thought if they used those bullets they would flee for their lives. But they were wrong. Vera sat there struggling to hold onto her life. Quatre kept trying to leave with her to get her to the hospital. She wouldn't let him take her there. Somehow she knew her life would end this time around. Quatre held her in his arms and sobbed until her death, as the story went.

When Aires and Gabe found out what happened to their mother. (Their eyes were clouded with rage) They accused their own father for her death. Vara being like her father knew he didn't do it. She slipped him a note before Gabe and Aires pulled her away. So for the last two years he's been in a big lonely mansion.

Trowa lost his wife, Cloud, to the same thing a few months later. She didn't let him take her to the hospital either. Vera and Cloud were close nothing could separate them. Until her death and then Cloud wanted to be with her best friend, but her only regret was leaving Trowa behind. We had a talk after Vera's death and she told me that she wanted to be with her. But she loved Trowa too much to leave him behind. As Cloud died in his arms (he never cried). He was only begging to understand his emotions and didn't understand crying. Then after her death he went silent only talking when he needed to. Kenji and Bakuryu, taking after Quatre's kid's left, but never once accused their father of killing her, like they did.

Now after agreeing to go I'm dressed in Relena's maid of honor dress. Relena, Heero, Hilde, and Duo got married on the same day and little me was the maid of honor. (Which was a year ago) I've tinkered with it a little. It just dips too low in the back. The dress was a deep, but beautiful, purple. It hugs every curve and flows just right when you spin. Its strapless and that's what I hate the most. Most people think it looks good on me so I'll wear it. There came a nock on my door. I opened it to find Quatre, his eyes almost popped out when he saw me and I turned a horrible shade of red. Once I was able to stop blushing I saw Trowa snickering in the background. That was a first in two years. They were wearing their Preventer uniforms. I don't know why, and I won't ask.

After Quatre caught on that he couldn't take his eyes off of me he turned red as a tomato. I wouldn't blame him. I was still mad at him for trying or almost killing Trowa. Everyone thinks I'm over it, wrong! Guess again. I've been polite to his face and then I cuss him out in my mind. I guess being a sister it's just one of those things that you can't let go. I'll write about the whole ball thing tomorrow.

Catherine Bloom

Dec. 10th year A.C. 220

Okay I've been busy. I've worked on getting my things packed and all. I just can't get the ball out of my head! Okay I sat in the corner since I don't belong at parties, or at least fancy. Maybe if it were one of Duo's crazy parties that would be another story. For an hour I sat at that table off in space. Half of the time I wanted to cry. Because no matter how hard I tried, my mind went to the closing of the circus. It was my home. But now it was being ripped from my life. Then I got a tap on the shoulder, I looked up to see Quatre, and I gave him a faint smile then continued thinking.

"Catherine why are you in this corner?"

I looked up at him again and replied, "Thinking. But I don't belong here."

He took my hand and pulled into one of the long halls this place has.

"Is it about the circus?"

How? When? Why?

"How do you know?"

I felt my head started to spin. Great! Just my day! Quatre being a nice guy and all, also wanting to suck up to him for almost killing Trowa. Will want to put the circus back in business. Not that I wouldn't mind. But if the circus is going to close then it's the Manger who's going to say its going to close. Not because some rich guy is going to put it back in business.

"Trowa."

When did Trowa start opening up, again?

"Oh," I said lowering my eyes.

I walked past him and went into the ballroom once again.

He runs up beside me and says, "If you want, I'll open it up again."

I hadn't realized it until Duo came by raving up a storm that Quatre had taken a hold of my hand. Duo looked at us than said before I could reply to Quatre.

"You guys need to dance!" he picked up a spoon and banged it on the crystal wineglass until it broke. Everyone looked at him.

He smiled not caring and said, "Put some slow music on and let this one couple take up the dance floor!"

Then everyone cleared from the floor to let us dance. Duo held up his hands.

"Well, don't blame me!"

I got a cold expression and Duo shivered hating that look.

"I blame you! Hilde torture him for me!"

She got a devilish look and said, "Kay!" before kicking him in the ass.

Quatre led me too the floor and some slow music started playing. Quatre pulled me close.

"I don't know how to dance!" I hissed.

"Follow my lead."

Before the song was over we were inches apart. Our bodies very, very, close. It was like we were going to kiss.

Catherine Bloom

Dec. 20th year A.C. 220

This might not be readable. But I'll still write. Here's what happened the last ten days. I had moved out of the trailer that was given to me by the Manger and took two tents so I could live somewhere that I knew. I went to the place where it started it all. To the very place where I had started with the circus. I was hiding in the woods/forest (its grown so much since then last time I was here!) scared and lost. Just about to give up hope. When the Manger came by and took me under his wing. Soon I became a professional then Trowa came along. I set up the tent I would sleep in first. Put my suitcase and pulled out my other tent. I set that one up. The tent was based off of the Master tent at the circus. But it wasn't as big. My first tent was nothing compared to what I could do in the tent I had built. I set up the targets for my knife-throwing act and began to practice. Then after an hour of doing that I heard a clap of thunder and some screams. I walked out of my "Master Tent," to see people scattering to hide from the rain. The rain ran down my face hiding the beads of sweat that ran down my face. I closed my eyes and let my mind run to the time I was at this exact spot so many years ago.

The rain poured down non-stop while I ran through the forest. Trying to hide so that Oz couldn't find me. I stopped at a tree to catch my breath but I sat down and fell asleep. Later I woke up to a noise.

"You have no control over us!"

"Oz now owns all of this land! So I suggest you guys get off of your high horses and get your assess in gear! You got one hour to move out!"

I ran up and yelled, "You can't tell this colony and its people what to do! All we want is peace! All you military people are doing is destroying it for us!"

They began to open fire on the colony. I knew I had ticked them off. I ran back to my hiding place and cried. The man that had stood up to Oz came to me. He held out his hand and told me that he would give me a place to live. There was where I became apart of the circus.

Once I felt the rain off my face I opened my eyes. I looked to where it came from. Quatre was holding an umbrella over my head. Then I took it too note that he was in his slacks and only had on his vest.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Well," I started. "It's my home, or the only one I remember."

Quatre looked around and saw the two tents.

"Are you sure?" he asked. "I could let you stay at my estate."

"No, I can't," then I walked over to the "Master Tent," that on the it said "Catherine's training room and practice room."

I pushed it open and led Quatre in out of the rain. I walked over to my table that my knives on it. The blades were hanging off over the edge. I slapped my hand on three of the blades. They flew up in the air I caught them one by one. I faced the targets and threw the three at it, bulls eye. Quatre caught site of my fruit basket and grabbed an apple. He removed the knives and handed them to me. He walked back to the target, stood straight up then set the apple on his head. I aimed carefully and I released the knife. It soared through the air. I was afraid that I would miss and hit him, since I only did that with Trowa and he was a head taller. The knife split the apple in half. As the halves fell from his head, he held out his hands and caught them. He took one bite of the apple and gave the other half to me. After we finished the halves I explained a new move and I wanted an opinion on it. Quatre said he would watch. I took a knife in hand tossed it up in the air. I began to explain more of the move and how it was supposed to be. When I heard the knife swoosh down by my ear I held out my left and caught the knife. My only draw back was that instead of the handle that I was supposed to catch, I caught the blade. It cut my hand open to where you could see my bone. I had these sharpened today and they weren't dull. If they were dull it would have been no problem. Quatre rushed out of the tent, I guess to go back to his tent. I searched the tent, I normally had a first aid kit handy. Then when Quatre got back I passed out.

Then I remember waking up in some hospital, I guess I scared Quatre really bad. The nurses were in and out of the room every thirty minuets. The flash backs of Vera there in his mind might have washed right before him when he saw what happened to my hand. Later that day I was taken to his estate. It was lovely. Big pool and I mean big, the mansion it self was like a wonder and a whole New World to me. They took me to a room where all my stuff was from in the woods. My clothes were hung up and with some of the fanciest dresses that any woman could hope to even have. The bed had a hunter green sheets that was silk. There was desk with a laptop on it, printer included. It was like I died and went to heaven.

Catherine Bloom

Dec. 22 year A.C. 220

I finally got a letter from Trowa and some flowers to add to my collection. I opened the card and a newspaper clipping fell into my lap. I didn't pay much attention to it, yet. The card read:

Dear Cathy,

I know this may sound harsh. But you're in the newspaper. And every body thinks that your either going to use poor old Quatre or he's using you to kill you like they say he did to Vera LoneStar. Now I've said what I was going to say. Let me know what you're going to do. Quatre has filled me in on what happened and I want you to get better and make the right choice. What ever your choice is you know I'm 100% behind you. I got some big mission to do. I want you to take care and I hope you know I still love her. When I heard you were in the hospital Cloud's memory I have of her washed before my eyes. I'm glad you're okay. I'll let you know when I get back. In the mean time stay with Quatre. He told me that Vera's memory of when she left replayed in his mind. So watch over him for me. I'm his best friend and he's mine too, I don't want to loose someone who really opens me up.

Love,

Triton Bloom {A.k.a. Trowa Barton}

P.s. When I get to see you and get a chance to sit down and talk to you I have to tell you something and when I tell you please sit down.

I looked at the newspaper clipping and saw the press had taken pictures of Quatre taking me in the hospital. The words where bold across the top that said, "Quatre R. Winner has taken in another street woman!" then under the picture it said, "Will she rob him blind?" or "Will she last and end up like Vera LoneStar?"

Catherine Bloom

Dec. 24 year A.C. 220

Still no word from Trowa. Quatre has another ball to attend and since my hand is now better, except I have a problem bending it. The doc. said I was all right to travel and party, I just have to be careful not to play with knifes as he told me. I yelled at him saying I'm a professional and watch it! I'll get you! My right hand is my best and boy did he sweat bullets! Got to go! I gotta pack for a night's trip!

Catherine Bloom

Dec. 25 year A.C. 220

Last night I didn't go to the party. I had a stomachache and used that as an excuse to get out of the party. Then later that night one of the "Important," people walked by with his wife saying, (I went wandering around about midnight worried about Quatre who hadn't yet returned.)

"Take a look at what he did!" the man said.

"What is it hon?" she asked.

"That girl that he was with to night wasn't no street girl!"

The woman looked shocked and the older man continued.

"She looked like she was married to him!"

They passed me as if I didn't even exist! Who was this girl and what was she doing with ~my~ guy? Okay, he might not be my guy... but I feel important around him. Like I belong in this world. Most of my life it was like I didn't exist at all and I'm going to thank Quatre for his kindness, warmth, and love that he has given me.

Catherine Bloom

Dec. 26 year A.C. 220

Christmas was great. We all gathered around the tree and sang songs. Opened presents. We even had a fight! But instead of Gundam fights or fistfights [Zechs and Heero were drunk] they arm wrestled. They were two drunken men spouting out word after word they were sorry for what they had done to each other during the war.

I had never seen Heero act that way... but what got Zechs to stop saying he was sorry was when Heero said,

"I'm sorry that I f^%*ed your sister during and after the end of the Eve Wars. Boy! Was she fun to have around at that time!"

When Relena heard that, she rushed out of the room. Noin chased after Relena and worked on cheering her up. Duo grabbed Zechs' hair while Trowa and Quatre stopped him from throwing his fists at the too clam Heero.

When we opened our presents I got a scrapbook from Trowa and the Manger. I began to cry because that brought back the memories... but yet I was happy at the same time. Then we all stayed at the Winner house. Quatre came to me in the room he had lent me since my hand was cut. He had his violin in hand and a box in the other.

Here's the talk we had, "Catherine... I want you to stay as long as you want to... I talked to Trowa. He doesn't mind. But the question is, do you want to stay?"

I very well couldn't tell him that I had other things that I had planned... so I just dropped all things that I was going to do.

"I'll stay as long as I'm not in the way."

"You're always welcome, Catherine, here take this."

He held out the black box. I opened it and saw a cross that was gold, yet it was small, and it had a diamond in the middle. My face lit up. It was just small enough that if I came to keep up my practice for my circus acts it wouldn't get in the way. Quatre pulled out the box out of my hands and took the cross out. I turned around pulled my hair out of the way and he put the cross on me. I let go of my hair and faced him.

He let out a smile and said,
"It looks great on you just as I thought."

I looked down at the cross only to see the end of it. I let tears stream down my face and threw my hands around his neck.

"Thank you," I whispered into his neck.

He patted my back very softly.

"Quatre you have been so nice to me... how can I ever thank you?"

Quatre shook his head and said,
"It doesn't matter. As long as you're here with me... you're the only one I've had feelings for... so it doesn't matter..."

I cut him off.

"You have feelings for me?"

He nodded. I pulled my head from his shoulder that I had rested my chin on and stared him in the eyes. He was sincere to his words. He brushed my tears away from my face and said,
"I couldn't bear to sit there and watch you bleed. It brought back old memories..."

I kissed his cheek and said,
"I'm okay and that only matters."

"Are you going to bed soon?" he asked.

"I can't sleep. I'm too excited to sleep."

"Well I was going to drop this off with you," he said referring to my cross and continued to speak to me. "Then I was going to play my violin out side, near the forest, but if you want me to, I'll play here."

"Okay, I just don't want you to go too much out of your way for me..."

"You're never a problem."

I climbed into the bed and he pulled the covers over me.

"Quatre, I heard that at the party you were with a girl... and most said you looked like you two were married... what was that all about?"

Quatre smiled once again that lit up his face and said,
"One of my twenty some thing sisters."

I rolled over on my side remembering what Trowa had told me, he did have that many sisters, even though it was hard to believe. I heard the soft melody come from near the doorway. It was so relaxing; I closed my eyes listening to the music that this Arabian boy was making.

Even though I had my eyes closed he thought I was a sleep. He sat on the bed when he was done and brushed my hair out of my face. He gave me a tender kiss on the cheek and said,

"One for one. Sleep well ~My~ Angel."

Then I heard him close the door softly and I heard his footsteps echo down the hall until they became nothing more.

Catherine Bloom

Dec. 27th year A.C. 220

Today was weird. I went on my daily walk... but when I came home/Winner mansion, Quatre was fighting with his servant for a bottle. The butler bowed and walked away. Quatre turned around and saw me. He stormed over to me and was inches away from my face. He held up a note and yelled,
"Why did you even think of leaving me?!"

I could smell his breath. He was drunk. I looked at the note. It was the one I wrote on Christmas night. When Quatre poked his head in my room. I got up with such a fright and it must have fell on the floor and the cleaner must have found it and gave it to Quatre. Who went over board and drank until he was drunk.

"But that was written befor..."

Quatre cut me off by a smack. I know it wasn't the real him driving him over board... but I couldn't, and won't, stay while he's a drunk mad man. He then backed me into the corner. He raised his hand to smack me again. Rashid caught his hand. Quatre turned his attention to Rashid.

"Master Quatre... calm down," said Rashid.

Which threw Quatre more over the edge. I ran out from behind Quatre and was behind Rashid.

"Quatre! I'm leaving and I'm never coming back!"

I stormed out the door and down the street. I tore off the necklace and shoved it into my pocket. Who needed him anyway? He needed me just like I needed him... but I wasn't about to stay and be abused by him being drunk. I walked to the nearest bridge and watched the water until sun down.

As the sun was setting I made up my mind. I would end this mindless game. It would all be over just with a jump. I climbed into the rail and stood looking down and the water and how it rolled. I tossed my coat to the ground. The necklace fell out and slid down hill to the begging of the bridge. The wind was cold and brisk. The snow fell and touched my bearskin that the jacket had concealed. I took a deep breath and was fixing to jump when I heard someone call my name.

"Catherine!"

I looked to the side where the cross-had slid and saw Quatre running up. I guess he was sober [which he was].

"Don't! Rashid told me what happened and I'm sorry!"

I wasn't listening and began to jump. Quatre was right behind me when I jumped. I held my hands above my head and screamed. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't keep my self from screaming. Then I felt a strong grasp catch my hands. I opened my eyes that were squeezed shut. I looked at who had saved me and it was Quatre. I let out a silent sigh. I guess after I jumped I figured out that it was a mistake. He had trouble pulling me up over the rail but wouldn't give up.

Once I was over the rail he grasped my shoulders and said,

"Catherine! What where you thinking?"

I lowered my eyes as I sat down and leaned against the rail for support, since my body was shaking all over.

"I don't know what I was thinking... sorry for worrying you..." I said it in a childish manor.

"It's all my fault, Catherine. If I hadn't smacked you, none of this would have happened," he said feeling guilty.

"If we hadn't had our talk last night... I still would have been gone and the only thing that stopped me was our talk..."

"..."

Quatre said nothing... then the barrier was broken... he pushed his lips to mine. I wrapped my arms around him as he deepened the kiss. When he pulled out he, tried, placed my jackets back on my shoulders. He helped me to my feet but then saw me wobbled around. So he carried me home as I fell asleep in his arms. But something was missing... I don't know what.

Catherine Bloom

Dec. 28 year A.C. 220

When I woke up I was in Quatre's room. Which I knew because, while Quatre was a sleep in the middle of the night I woke up and changed into my night clothes and went back to sleep on his hid-a-bed in his room. So I wouldn't wake him and give him a heart attack. I was walking to the dinning room when I heard two voices. I walked closer and peered around the corner unnoticed. It was Trowa and Quatre. But they weren't having that kind of talk like,

"Hey, man! You're back!"

Or,

"Trowa! How are things going?"

It was nothing like that at all. They were talking about what had happened yesterday. Rashid might have told Trowa what happened. Trowa raised his hand to punch Quatre... I ran up and caught his arm.

"Cathy?" Trowa said.

I ran in front of him.

"Trowa?" I said. "What do you think you are doing?"

Trowa did not answer me.

"If both of you are fighting for peace or to at least keep it! Then you must talk it out!"

They stared at me as if I had gone crazy. I knew that they fought in the war... but did they have to fight like this? Over me? Or for my safety? No. I think they could do a compromise instead of fighting. I've learned that there are better things than war. So why did this make any difference to them? I have no clue as to why. Then after we settled things Trowa decided to tell me something. He told me to sit down and I did so. He then explained that he had done some "snooping around," and then digging in some of the files that had survived the fire that under went on the Hall of Records. It's a place where you could have gone to look up peoples' history. Some of what was salvaged from the debris was locked away with the Mayor who kept it all in a locked files which was no problem for Trowa. He got a hold of the files and found out that WE where not only related, but to Heero Yuy and Duke and Duchess of Japan! Our last names are Talaco! I'm related to Heero? That means I have not just one but TWO little Brothers! Okay, he told me that he had some snooping around to confirm that this true... it gets me to wondering. About that... if what he says is true, how will we tell Heero? Well Trowa also informed me that Heero's REAL name [not Odin Lowe Jr. As we thought!] is Allen Talaco. Well I guess that it will take a while to sink in then. Please all I need to do is sleep on it... I think.

Catherine Talaco/Bloom

Dec. 30th year A.C. 220

Sorry about not writing. We've been busy the last few days and today we're working on the New Years party. Most of Quatre's family is coming since they missed Christmas. So we decided to twist this years party. First of all, it's going to be a Christmas party and New Years party. So Quatre is having the party rigged as he likes to call it… uh oh. Then he's going to be like Duo this year! Everyone HIDE! Just kidding!

Catherine Bloom