I've gone through alot in my life. From depression to eating disorders to cutting myself to even attempting suicide. Over my life, I've had Happiness
and Heartaches. Butterflies and Snakebites. The people that do know me only think of me as 'the girl who hides away and puts on a happy face.'
they don't know the real me nor the real story because I'm afraif of what might happen. My name is Trinity Fletcher and this is my story..

''Trinity!'' She yelled. ''C'mon, let's go to the beach! It's summer, let's go have fun and make the most of it!'' She stood at the doorway, holding
2 towels and a bag.

Oh yeah, This is mia. She's my bestfriend, she's my sister at heart. we do everything together and she's helped me through everything! Of course our friendship was better before I developed the eating disorder and began to harm myself but she stood by me, she's never left. She's probably the only reason to why I'm still here today, alive and breathing.

I pulled out my earphones. ''I'm perfectly happy spending the entire summer listening to music.''I smiled at her, knowing that was'nt the truth.

''like you always do?'' she walked over to me and sat on the edge of the bed. ''You don't have to wear a bikini or even shorts, Just come with me..
please Trin?''

and there were those baby blue puppy eyes, how could i possibly say no to her now?

I nodded. ''okay..'' I slipped into some ripped jeans and threw on my jacket. It was boiling outside but I did'nt care, I'd do anything to hide and cover
my fat and disguisting body. Put on a smile Trinity, Just put on a smile and pretend to be happy. Mia deserves that much. I thought to myself as we headed out the door.

we we're soon at the beach, It was packed with people. It seemed like a beach party was going on. It was loud and crowded, I headed up the beach
with Mia behind me. I did'nt want a headache with the first 10 minutes of being here, I placed the towel on the sand and sat down on it, looking out
at the ocean. I felt a smile come across my face.

''Can you pass me my water Trin? It's in the bag.'' Mia asked.

I searched the bag, but could'nt see any bottles of water. there was just sunscreen, sunglasses, a few magazines and chocolate that was already
nearly melted. ''I can't see any bottles of water, you must of left it back at the house.''

''Ugh.'' she groaned. ''well, I'm gunna melt if I don't get a drink soon, Do you want anything?'' she asked as she stood up.

''No, I'm good.'' I smiled at Mia and watched her walk away, I looked at all the people in the distance, at the people playing in the sea, the people hugging, the people enjoying themselves, the girls showing off their perfect bodies. Toned arms. Toned legs. Toned stomach. Beautiful faces. They
were perfect. like something off the cover of a magazine, they smiled and laughed with their friends.

''I remember being that happy, I miss it..'' I mumbled to myself and lay back on the sand. My dark hair fell and covered most of my face, the warm
sun felt nice againest my skin. I closed my eyes and let myself relax, forgetting about everything and everyone around me.

A few minutes had pasted, I felt myself slowly drifting off. I felt something suddenly fall in my lap, my eyes flickered open. It was a football, I looked around and could see a guy running towards me. I picked up the football and stood up.

''Ah..'' Miles scratched the back of his neck as he finally reached Trinity, out of breath. ''Hey, I'm sorry about that.'' He looked up at trinity and chuckled lightly.

I smiled. ''No harm done, It's not like I lost an arm or something.'' I smiled and leaned over, handing him the ball.

Miles chuckled. ''Yeah.. I'll be sure to be more careful.'' he began to walk away but soon stopped and turned around. ''Hey, I know I just met you.. but fancy joining us?''

''You want me to come a play football with you..'' I looked over his shoulder. ''and your friends? yeah.. me and football don't really go together that
well, but thanks.'' I giggled.

''well then, come and watch? It's just.. you seem really lonely, you could do with some company.'' he shrugged and smiled at me.

''Oh no, I'm not.. My friend's just-'' I looked over and saw Mia talking to a group of guys. look's like she found new company. ''well, thanks for noticing!''
I showed a small smile, gathering my things and walking over to Miles.

''Soo.. where's your friend?''

I pointed over at Mia. ''there, but Don't worry.. It's normal for her, she LIVES for hot guys.'' I laughed lightly and rolled my eyes.

Miles chuckled. ''well, don't worry.. I'll be sure to never leave you like that.'' he threw a smile at me.

In that moment, my heart did a somersalt. The way his blue eyes sparkled, The way his smile could easily melt my heart, The way his laugh was so adorable. No, I'm not falling for him! It's just that, standing next to him, I can feel butterflies in my stomach..

I could feel his eyes on me, I bit my lower lip and folded my arms. hoping he would soon look away but he did'nt..

I looked up at Miles ''Can i help you with something?'' I laughed, breaking the silence.

Miles chuckled. ''Sorry, that was rude.. It's just, I've never seen a girl in jeans, uggs and a Jacket on the beach during summer.''

''Um.. It's a long story.''

Miles grabbed my arm and stopped. ''I have all the time in the world.'' he smiled at me.

''What I meant by that is that it's kind of personal and I don't wanna talk about it..'' I pulled my arm away and looked down, I continued to walk down
the beach.

Miles caught up with Trinity and sighed. ''I'm sorry, It's personal and I barely even know you. I get it, hopefully, I'll get the chance to know you.''
he smiled at me as we arrived back were his friends were.

''Dude, what toke you-'' Nick's voice trailed off as he saw Trinity, he looked at her up and down. smirking slightly. ''I'm Nick.'' he extended his hand.

I smiled softly and shoke his hand. ''I'm Trinity.. I'm sorry for um, inturupting your game.''

''Nah, It's fine. we we're nearly done anyways. you come to watch?''

''Yeah,'' I nodded.

''Aight. Sit over there and enjoy.. Oh, and babe, you really should'nt cover up that hot body of yours.'' he smirked and winked at her.

''Dude!'' Miles laughed and ran across to his football team.

I turned and smiled to myself, ''that hot body of yours'' his words kept running through my head. All this no eating anything and starving myself was
really paying off.

What the hell? how In the world could he find my body 'hot'? It was fat, Thick, disguisting, revolting.

I sat down on the sand as I layed my eyes on Miles, and I noticed how I was'nt the only one. There were several other girls, actually most of the girls
on the beach had their eyes set on Miles. I could'nt blame them, he was absolutely gorgeous. his perfect six pack, his big muscalar arms. A guy like that could never be interested in a girl like me.. I sighed, looking down at my hands. I soon heard loud cheers and people clapping, I looked up to notice that Miles team had scored, I smiled and clapped, cheering for them and shouting his name as support.

I watched as he began to walk over to a girl, my heart sunk as she threw her arms around his neck and connected their lips together. I held back tears
as I grabbed my things and got up, heading in the direction were my house was. I heard somebody shouting my name over and over again, It got louder as the person got closer I turned around.

''Mi-les?''

''Yeah.. I looked for you and wanted to come over for a talk but you we're gone.. is everything alright?''

''Um, yeah. I'm good.. I just started to get headache and I saw you with your girlfriend, I did'nt wanna inturupt so I just left but congratulations on
the win. I'm sorry, I have to go..'' I turned around and started to run to my house.

I got to my house, and ran to the bathroom. leaning againest the door and falling to the floor in tears, I just wanted everything to end. I looked over
at the razor lay on the counter, I did'nt hesistate and grabbed it. I slowly pressed the razor againest my skin, I felt more tears escape my eyes as the sharpe razor went in deeper into my skin, It hurt but It toke the pain away.. for a little while. I watched as the blood began to run down my hand, I grabbed a towel and pressed it againest the cuts. letting the towel soak up all the blood, I lay on the floor, holding myself and breathing heavily. I
closed my eyes.

please let this nightmare be over..