A/N here is a one shot that I was asked to do. Hope you like it!

Drifting and Sinking

This was the last straw. I couldn't take it anymore. James has been out every night, since he had been home, with the guys. Leaving me here to wait and wait. I had made dinner after dinner, night after night, in hopes to actually have a sit down meal with him. But I didn't think that was going to happen.

But it was when I saw the latest photo about how he was having a grand old time with his friends, and how he was loving life, that's what made me finally say enough was enough. First, I just let it pass because I am and understanding person, and I get that he wanted to catch up with people since has been gone for a while. But why wasn't I one of the people he wanted to catch up with. I mean I am his girlfriend after all. Was I not what he wanted anymore? Was he done with me? All the insecurities were going through my head. I just didn't know why he didn't want to spend time with me.

I loaded the last dish from the uneaten meal that I had made for James for the fifth night in a row. Sighing once I looked up at the clock and noticed it was almost midnight. I had work in the morning, I was sick of waiting. I went upstairs and crawled into bed and saw the picture of James and me looking so happy. It was on our two year anniversary and he had taken me to six flags. We both looked so happy. I lay in bed and stared at the picture, tears flowing down my cheeks. I just wanted to know what was wrong. I took the picture and sit it down so I didn't have to stare at the lie anymore. I wasn't happy anymore with this relationship. I wasn't going to be pushed aside anymore.

It was about 3am when I felt the bed move. I knew that James was finally back. He slipped in behind me and wrapped his arms around me, and I lost it. Tears flowed, I wanted to yell at him, make him feel a little bit how I was feeling at that moment. I was lost for words so I got up and threw his arms off of me and grabbed my pillow and the blanket at the end of the bed and head out the room.

I didn't even look James in the eye. I went down the living room and fell on the couch. I heard footsteps seconds later.

"Mariah, babe, what are you doing?" I looked up and saw him with his arms out like he was pissed

"Wow he knows my name…what does it look like James? I am trying to sleep" I was angry

"What are you even talking about? What did I do this time?"

I shot up out off the couch "what am I talking about? Well James I haven't seen you for more than 20 mins since you have been home… you are always with your friends, having a great time… loving life… without me. That's what I am talking about"

"Oh so you're pissed because I am going out with my friends, sorry I am not connected to your hip!" he said coming closer to me yelling

"Oh my god, connect to my hip?! James I haven't seen you in days, I am your girlfriend, and I have to find out where my own boyfriend is from fucking twitter!" I was fuming. He was blaming this on me being a clingy girlfriend. No way.

"Well I come home every night don't I Mariah! I live here!"

"Seriously James if your stuff wasn't here, I wouldn't know that you even lived here!"

"You are kidding me right now, I don't get it? Do you want me to invite you out everywhere, do you need to be with me every moment of the day!"

At this point I was just so drained, and didn't enjoy yelling at him. This wasn't us. We used to fight about stupid stuff; this didn't feel like a little fight, this felt bigger. Like everything was leaning on this, that scared me and tears started to build up in my eyes.

"That's not what I meant James and you know it." I said quietly "I have made dinner every night, every night in hopes that maybe you would be home to share it with me. E-Every night I sit here for hours waiting for you, and eventually just clean it all up and go to bed a-alone." At this point I could stop the tears from flowing, I was so lost. "Am I even w-what you want anymore?" I choked out looking at him.

Instantly James changed, he looked worried, scared even. He came over and pulled me into him; once he did I couldn't help it as a started to soak his shirt with my tears. "Mariah, babe, please don't cry. I am sorry." He said as he pulled me from his shirt and lifted my chin with his hand and cupped my face. "I am sorry, I didn't know what I was doing, I was just hanging with the guys and just I don't even know. Please just stop crying" he said as he looked into my eyes

"J-james just tells me if I am what you want anymore. If not I can go"

"Baby you are all that I want" he said as I could see so tears in his eyes "please do leave me Mariah. I love you so fucking much. I am sorry for all the hurt I have caused you. I promise to make it up to you. I love you so so so much you have made these past two years of my life the best I could ask for. I don't want to lose the b-best thing in my life. Babe please I am…"

My heart swelled hearing him say these words. To know that he still does love me. I couldn't stand listening to him upset anymore so I stopped him with a kiss. Bring his lips to mine, something I have missed so much these days. If felts so right. He was shocked at first, but slowly melted into it. As we got lost into each other, both holding on to the other like they were about to disappear. I pulled away.

"James, I love you so much, I could never leave you. I just didn't know if it was me or…"

"No baby, stop. I know you aren't going to let me take the blame but I have to. I am sorry for being a shitty boyfriend and not treating you like you deserve. I am just hoping that you can forgive me" he said as he put his head down.

I grabbed his face and brought his lips back down to mine. "James, I love you and I forgive you. Let's just look past this love." He nodded his head in agreement and pulled me into his warm embrace. Again something that I had missed.

He kissed the top of my head "Mariah babe, will you please come back to our bed and cuddle with me?" I couldn't help but giggle as a shook my head yes against his chest. He took my hand and led me back to our room. Once he was there he slipped in.

"Wait, James I need to go get my pillow" I said as I turned and went to make my way out the door James stopped me by grabbing my hand.

"I know this is going to sound super cheesy, but you don't need your pillow because you are going to be cuddling me all night" he said as he pulled my down to the bed. I giggled as I climbed under the blankets and curled into James warm embrace laying my head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my head.

"I love you Mariah, please don't ever forget that" I tilted my head up to him and looked him in the eyes and smiled. "I won't James" I said as I kissed his neck all the way up to his mouth. "I love you too" I said and kissed him. Again getting lost in his kiss and getting lost in the sheets.