Notes: Spock usually refers to Jim as Captain, and when he wants to be more personal, Kirk. However, Jim refers to himself as Jim.

It was calm; the Enterprise was going through space. The crew hadn't encountered any new life for a while, so, predictably, Jim was bored.

"Perhaps you would like to review File 795?" Spock offered. To anyone else it was a carefully monitored monotone, but Jim heard the offer behind what others may have thought was a statement.

Jim rubbed his jaw. "Nah, want to play some chess?" It was a common activity between the two of them. "Sorry," he said, putting on the voice of a Vulcan, or his approximation of one. "It is highly logical to maintain and continue a strong tactical understanding of battle."

Spock gave him the quirk of an eyebrow, and merely said, "Yes, Captain. We should take a detour to the bridge to see if anything of consequence has come up."

Jim nodded. He assumed everyone else on the ship was enjoying their respite, but he needed some action. Still, acting Captain of the Enterprise- he loved it the ring of the words- it would be remiss to neglect the bridge.

They rose from their chairs together and headed for the bridge.

"Keptin on ze bridge!" Chekov alerted everyone.

"Thank you, Chekov." Jim smiled and nodded. "Just wanted to get an update, anything worth mentioning Mr. Sulu?"

"Not at the moment Sir." Mr. Sulu reported.

"Great- AAAHH!" He broke off mid-sentence with a gasp of pain. His hands flew to his head, as he dropped. His face was quickly turning red with the strain.

Spock caught him, "Captain? Captain what is happening?"

Jim's panicked eyes met his; he was clutching his head tightly. "Spock … my … head … attack …" He tried to gasp; his head felt like it was on fire. Like someone was wrapping his mind and squeezing it like a python while stabbing it repeatedly. He couldn't think, he just knew whoever this was, they wanted him dead. His teeth gritted together.

Spock tried to maintain his composure, but his heart was beating fast. Jim looked in so much pain, his eyes were bloodshot. The crew had risen from their chairs.

He pulled out orders quickly, but the hesitation was noticeably to him 2.3 seconds later than orders should have been issued. He pressed his slender, pale fingers to the Captain's skin to confirm, Kirk was correct. "The Captain is under a telepathic attack, Mr. Sulu take the chair. I must assist him." He said authoritatively, and then pressed his fingers to Kirk's skin.

The waves of emotion assaulted his senses, before he got his bearings in Kirk's mind.

"It was a strong attack, what species could do this?" Spock's logical thoughts flew out.

"Now? You want to do this now?" Jim retorted.

"Jim, calm down. Let me help you, you've got to let me in!" Spock told him, he didn't want to force his way in, but Kirk was trying to stop him, trying to hide something.

There was another stab of pain, so much stronger than before, and it bled across the mind meld.

"Captain!" Spock mentally yelled frantically, and forced his way past Jim's shields. He was assaulted with memories as he got in.

Seeing his own face through Kirk's eyes.

Got to protect Kirk's mind…

Spock is so beautiful…

Can't let himself get distracted…

The trust Kirk places in Spock…

Have to put up barriers…

The longing Kirk feels when he looks at him…

Spock forces his own shields to cover Kirk's mind

Spock understands that the quips he trades with Kirk are flirting…

Spock can hear Kirk screaming mentally as the alien whips their mind again…

Suddenly a fantasy explodes, Kirk's lips enveloping his. Their bodies pressed against each other. He wants this…so badly

Spock isn't sure who wants what anymore; he puts everything he has into forcing the presence away.

It retreats like a wounded animal, but hisses, "We will not forgive this insult…."

Spock forces himself out of Kirk's mind before he gets lost in it. They're back on the bridge, Bones hovering over them both.

Spock is lost in his thoughts of being in Kirk's mind, there's just too much…he needs to meditate. He pushes Bones away, barely hearing his bluster. He stumbles to the door, not seeing anything.

He has the vague notion he's probably in shock. His friend was attacked, he tried to save him, the jumble of memories and thoughts, his own shields are in tatters because he extended them too far.

Spock slumps to the floor of his quarters, grabbing clumsily at some incense to calm his fevered mind. He needs to be a Vulcan. He does not have emotions. The incense wafts over him, and he settles in to meditate for a very long time.

Jim was gasping, "What the hell happened?"

Bones was measuring his temperature and trying to hear his heartbeat at the same time. "I don't know Jim, Spock said something about being attacked telepathically or something? He melded with you."

Bits and pieces were coming back; he remembered the searing pain. He remembered his resolution that Spock could not find something, and then his shields breaking. Suddenly he remembered everything in a gasp, oh shit.

"Bones, get off me. I need a minute!" He struggled with his friend for a minute, "I said, Bones, get off me!" He shoved him to the side, and realized his crew is looking at him, with shocked eyes and a great deal of worry.

Jim looked around, then walked into the elevator very quickly, heading for Spock's quarters. They needed to talk about this, damn it! As soon as the doors closed with a hiss, he slid down to the floor in a heap. What happened? How could this happen?

Of course he had known that he loved Spock, how could he not? His first officer was smart, witty, and was actually funny in a weird Vulcan sort of way. But he knew that any mention would make Spock uncomfortable and that was the last thing he wanted. They were friends, the best of friends, but Jim wanted more.

He never said anything, but he couldn't help watching. The slope of his eyebrows, the shape of his jaw, his searing eyes, he shouldn't have noticed but he did. The darker fantasy of actually having Spock, he'd never consciously thought about it. But that didn't mean his subconscious hadn't decided to pop in and share.

Damn him, damn it all! He didn't know what to say, he didn't know what he could say. He was just exhausted, he'd been attacked. Speaking of which, who was the alien? It hadn't said a word, at least not that he'd picked up. Perhaps Spock had heard something?

The elevator chimed. He hadn't noticed they'd stopped moving. He tried to rise, then stumbled and sprawled to the floor, unconscious.

"Spock, you are needed in Sick Bay right away. It's Jim." Dr. McCoy's terse voice pervaded Spock's calm. The effects of his meditation were still clinging to him, and though he didn't run as he might have, he nevertheless moved quickly through the halls.

"What the hell did you do to him? What's going on? Damn it man, we need some answers!" Bones confronted him angrily.

Spock's eyes flickered to Kirk's unconscious form on one of the tables. He felt the waves of emotions pounding against his emotional walls, but he did not let it overcome him. "What has happened to the Captain?" His voice was calm and rational, which seemed to infuriate Dr. McCoy further.

"We found him passed out in the hallway after he left, presumably to find you. He was on your floor. His vitals are fine but I can't say anything to the state of his mind." He said frustrated, stepping close to Spock in anger.

Spock felt his own emotions rise up again as Dr. McCoy accused him of hurting Kirk.

"Doctor, Kirk was under attack from a telepathic alien, a very strong one, based on his lack of physical presence and the overall force of his attack. I entered his mind and, with difficulty, drove the alien out." Spock found no logical reason to discuss the other…ah, things he'd found in Kirk's mind. "The alien was quite unusual when fended off; however, it told us that it would not forget this insult. Yet he was clearly attacking the Captain's mind.

"Jim is merely exhausted; his mind is worn out from the strain of attacking, defending, and other…revelations that occurred due to the mind meld." The pause was not noticeable to a human, but another Vulcan would surely have caught it.

The Doctor's postured eased, and he stepped back from Spock. "Are you alright? You practically attacked me when I tried to help you back there."

"I apologize for my rash behavior, my telepathic shields were compromised and I required meditation to reinforce them." Spock said smoothly.

There was a groan. "Where am I?"

"Jim, you're in Sick Bay. You collapsed in the elevator. How do you feel?" Bones asked brusquely.

"M fine." Jim muffled out.

"Jim!" Bones snapped in a tone that meant business. Spock had to respect his ability to get results.

"My head hurts, alright?" Jim protested. Bones wheeled on Spock with a glare.

"Doctor…" Spock began, trying to assuage Dr. McCoy's anger.

"Spock?" The voice Jim used was almost unrecognizable. Perhaps it was Spock's inability to properly identify human emotions and inflections. He'd never heard the tone from Kirk and wasn't sure what it was.

Dr. McCoy looked surprised though.

"Captain?" Spock got closer to the bedside, unsure if it was a warning or a plead or what.

"Spock." Now his voice was full of relief, which Spock was happy to interpret. "How are you doing?" Kirk's voice was guarded.

"I am better that I've had a chance to meditate," Spock's voice mirrored Kirk's guardedness. "Captain."

There was a pause as Jim struggled to say something, anything.

"I think I'll leave you two for a minute, but this is still my sick bay!" Bones told them sternly, the doors opened and closed. Jim took the minute to be thankful that Bones knew about his feelings for Spock, but was tactful enough not to let Spock know. Of course Bones disapproved; he was not fond of the 'green-blooded hobgoblin' he'd taken to calling Spock.

The silence remained for a moment.

"Are we going to talk about this?" Kirk asked Spock.

"Talk about what, Captain?" Spock responded.

He felt bad, but he needed to remind himself that the Captain was, well, the Captain. Because ever since he learned that Kirk had feelings for him, he'd examined his own. They spent a lot of time together, and Spock felt strongly for Kirk. He hadn't noticed its strength before. "The alien said as it retreated, that it would not forgive this insult, Captain." Spock continued.

Jim groaned in frustration, he sat up a little so he could look at Spock. Sometimes all he wanted to do was stare at him, but this really wasn't the time. "Call me Jim, please."

Spock looked at him for a moment with his customary blank expression. And then- "As you wish, Jim." The words sent a thrill down both their spines.

"Spock, I…" Jim began. "I suppose you already know and it's illogical to repeat the information, but the human side of you might be able to appreciate that I need to say this out loud to you. Spock, I think I love you. I think about you, even when you're not in the room, and I care about you. I want to know all the little things of your day, I want to wake up with you in the morning, I want…" Jim looked down. "I just thought you should know."

Spock kept looking at him, but his mind was whirring. He had to adjust referring to Kirk as Jim, but the sooner he acclimated to the new address, the better it would be. He knew Ki-Jim's words were true, but he was not anticipating them. He thought with a wry grin that he should know by now if Jim was involved that he needed to expect the unexpected.

Apparently he was taking too long to respond, as Jim grabbed him by the shirt collar and pulled him into a kiss.

After the shock had faded somewhat, the touch telepathy kicked in. He could feel Jim's desperation, fear of rejection, but deep underlying love and care. The feeling of Jim's lips on his was so enjoyable, for a moment it was almost like meditation the moment was so perfect. But as Spock reciprocated Jim deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue inside Spock's mouth.

Spock wasn't sure what to do, he'd never examined human rituals in this way before, but apparently Jim knew what he was doing. They began to gasp as they kissed one another feverishly. Spock put a hand to Jim's back, pressing him closer, while Jim ran his fingers through Spock's hair. It was so warm, so wonderful.

"Spock." Jim moaned.

"Jim." Spock responded in a whisper. They clung to one another, until they parted. They stared into each other's eyes without a word, yet completely understanding the other.

"Wow." Jim said breathlessly.

"The experience was very good." He said mildly, not really able to come up with an adequate adjective.

There was a sudden shudder of the ship, and Mr. Sulu came over the coms in sick bay. "Captain? You are needed on the bridge immediately. It appears we are under attack."

"Confirmed, Spock and I will be there as soon as possible." Jim said, clicking his com. They rose from the bed, and began a run to the bridge.

"Captain, are you well enough to leave sick bay?" Spock asked, as the swift pace Jim had set for himself was not as straining to him.

"Fine, slight headache is all. You heard me tell Bones." Jim said a little breathlessly. They both entered the bridge. "Situation?"

"We were in open space, nothing was up on sensors. All the sudden a ship came out of warp, and began to fire on us, Sir. Shields are already up to maximum." Mr. Sulu updated. "Shall we fire back?"

"Open a line." Jim ordered. Uhura quickly complied.

The screen opened to reveal an alien. It reminded Spock of many depictions of Greek monsters, half snake and half woman. She was covered with golden scales, with ridges near her hair line. Her hair was black, and wound into an intricate hairstyle. There was a red pattern similar to the yellow snake of Earth but with red instead of black. Her eyelids were black as a snake's and flickered shut with an audible click.

The alien began a strange hissing fit that Jim assumed was the language, punctuated with her tail's erratic motions.

"Uhura, are you getting any of these?" Jim asked, maintaining eye contact with the creature.

"A little, Captain, it is similar to the Dusame dialect of the Kotar region. If I'm getting this correct, she is Filisi." Uhura pronounced it with her teeth barred.

The woman paused, hearing her name.

"Can you ask them why they are attacking us?" Jim asked Uhura.

Uhura began the spitting, hissing language, and used her arm to mimic some of Filisi's tail motions. If they hadn't been under attack, Jim would have laughed aloud. She looked ridiculous.

"Captain, if I may. I believe these are the creatures that attacked you, perhaps they would respond better to an attempted telepathic transmission?" Spock suggested.

"Let's see how this goes with Uhura first." Jim was reluctant to endanger Spock in this manner.

"Captain, she wishes to beam aboard. She believes she can do something to help our communication." Uhura said.

"Spock?"

"We need to understand what is going on, however logically they have tried to attack us twice and yet seemed offended at first contact. This could be our only chance to make positive contact." Spock told him calmly.

Jim nodded, "Uhura, tell her we will beam her aboard. Scotty, get the transporters ready. Spock and I are headed down. Uhura, follow us after the transmission has been sent." Spock rose gracefully and they walked down quickly to the transporter room.

"Captain, I've taken the liberty of having 6 members of security present in the room. They will be masquerading as assisting with the transport, but if she attacks us, we will have back up." Spock explained.

"Thank you Spock." Jim said, a smile spreading across his face. Finally some action! Of course he dropped it in favor of a more dignified Captain's expression when they entered the room.

"Energize, Scotty." He ordered, and he saw the shape begin to take form. She was massive. Once she was fully transported, she rolled down on her belly more so until she was roughly their height. Her tail coiled several times before her, her width was easily the size of Jim and Spock.

Jim was very aware that it would be easy for her to rip this whole room apart. Her eyes scanned the room, her head moving forward and back noticeably. As her eyes met Jim's, he felt a presence try to crush his mind.

Her eyes widened for a moment in recognition as she also looked at Spock. Then, faster than anyone was aware, she darted to bite Spock's shoulder. Her massive mouth meant that her teeth impaled Spock's lungs, and yet she did not rip him in half as he might have expected, but retreated.

Jim's eyes widened as he saw Spock attacked. A moment later was at his side, trying desperately to stem the blood flow.

"Spock, Spock can you hear me? Bones get up here right now! Spock requires immediate medical attention." Security had already unsheathed their weapons and were about to shoot, when Spock called out.

"No! Stop!" The officers paused, looking to their Captain for orders. Spock tried to explain, "She was trying to make a stronger connection. Their skin is much harder than ours; she did not realize we were so tender. Nor did she gauge our size well either, she merely meant to prick my arm, but made a small miscalculation on her part. Her venom allows for a better understood connection. We can communicate now."

"That's great Spock, but you're bleeding to death!" Jim said angrily, trying to fight his growing panic as the green blood colored his hands. He was freaking out, what if Spock died now? He couldn't imagine going to the bridge and not having his first officer greet him with his beautiful voice. Or offering him the logical solution so Jim could just ignore it.

Not playing chess with him, or even seeing him. Taking back his body to the Ambassador, he had promised them a friendship that would define them both, but Jim knew it was more than friendship.

He would not allow it to be taken from him. "Spock, stay with me. That's an order. Bones will be here soon."

Fliisi began to twitch her tail, and make more hissing sounds. "Spock, what's she saying?" He was frustrated that he had to wait to understand. Where was Bones?

"She thinks she can help staunch the bleeding. Do not be afraid, Jim." Spock said, his voice getting weaker.

Jim nodded, and Filisi began to slowing approach Spock. Then opened her mouth and her tongue was forked and extended out far longer than Jim thought it should have. The tips pressed against Spock's back and front injuries, effectively stopping the bleeding.

Bones burst in with a squad of people, before taking in the sight. The back of Jim's mind that wasn't currently focused on Spock noted that this must look incredibly weird, an over grown snake woman digging her tongue into Spock's wounds.

"She is using her saliva to seal the wounds." Spock's voice was faint as he explained. Everyone just froze until she relinquished her tongue, then spat at the wall. It had a greenish tinge. Bone jumped into action, shooing Jim away from Spock. Filisi began hissing again.

"I apologize that my blood tastes 'nasty' to you." Bones was blocking Spock's face, but Jim smiled as Spock no doubt was responding to her words.

"Does she understand us now?" Jim asked.

"Yes." Spock said.

"Jim, I need to get him to Sick Bay right away." Bones said as they pulled him to a stretcher and ran out the door before Jim could say a word.

Jim knelt there woodenly for a moment. Then he looked at Filisi. He was filled with rage; she had hurt Spock, his friend. But he tried to let Spock's cool voice in his mind urge him to logic.

"So you can understand us?" He asked. She twitched her head to the side, and then nodded. "All it takes for communication is a prick of your venom?" She nodded again, and opened her mouth.

Jim knew it was probably stupid, but he walked over to her and jerked his hand up onto her tooth. It was massive, even the tip. So he went for his bicep, and pricked it against her teeth. It started bleeding, but he clasped a hand to it and tried to focus through the pain.

He watched her begin hissing and waving her tail, but he heard a cool voice in his mind. "I am sorry; your species is very fragile compared to my own. I am Filisi, Mother of my Race." He could feel a bit of her mind, and saw how huge it was. Then, in addition to how strong and powerful Filisi was, he also saw that she was connected to each of her children.

Filisi showed him a bit of her culture. She was not the biological mother of the race; it was more of a title. She was the president, and general. Mother in their words was not one of care and love, but fierce protection. As this position, she had access to everyone's mind. It was a very weary burden, but Filisi took it gladly.

As Jim learned about her, Filisi also learned about him. "Again, your species is very weak. What I sent out as a query of what your intent was, you felt an attack as my mind pressed upon yours. When I realized this, I tried to be more specific and small, but these turned into the jabs you felt.

Then another joined you in the mind, and he was stronger. However he saw me as a threat again, and his limited telepathic skills did not allow him to understand me."

"If we can't comprehend your mind, how are we communicating?" Jim asked.

"My venom, as you call it, allows for a more precise…invasion? It is like using your Earth saw to a scalpel. My venom is the means to using the scalpel." Filisi continued, "When he pushed me out of our minds, it was a deep insult, for I am the Mother of My Race, and telepathy is used primarily by me. To push me out is like…slamming a door in my face and locking me inside. You have no wish to communicate, nor will you ever. More often than not, it is also used as a way to indicate ill intent."

She paused, "That is why when we found your ship we began to attack. The fact you attempted to communicate through the line indicated that perhaps you did not understand telepathy as communication, so I lowered myself to speak in the common tongue of my people. Fortunately, your Uhura was able to understand a little."

"Okay. Is Spock going to be okay?" Jim asked.

"I do not know." Filisi said regretfully, "I did not mean to injure him so severely."

"Then I must depart. I need to see how he is doing." He paused for a moment, "Perhaps you would like to return to your ship? I'm afraid we don't have many spaces that are large enough that you feel comfortable."

She inclined her head, "Thank you. We will still be able to communicate despite the distance. I will close the link when we both agree."

"Scotty, beam her back." Jim clenched his teeth. Now that he wasn't immersed in conversation with Filisi, his arm was really starting to throb. He stumbled down to sick bay, feeling a little feverish.

"Spock." He gasped, seeing him surrounded by so many people.

"Christie, assist the Captain." Bones barked shortly. A pretty blonde came up to him, and began treating his arm.

"Will he be alright?" Jim asked, as his eyes started to swim.

"Shhhh" Christies said, before she hypo-sprayed him. "How do you feel?"

"Little feverish, but my eye sight is back to normal." He told her. She nodded, then hypo-sprayed him again.

"This will make you sleep. You need to sleep off your fever. Also, Dr. McCoy is under the belief that if you are not unconscious you will run off before I can do my job." She said with a smile.

"Booonnnesss." Jim groaned before falling unconscious.

Spock awoke to pain, quite a lot of pain. It took a moment to gather his mind. Jim. Filisi. Jim. There was this need to be by Jim. Spock opened his eyes, and pulled himself up.

To his surprise, Jim was already there, asleep. He looked so peaceful, and happy. Spock was surprised he didn't notice it before, his hair was ruffled just so. He wanted to stretch out a hand to brush it back, and was surprised at the desire.

Then Jim awoke, "Spock, are you alright?" His eyes flitted across the Vulcan's chest. Spock seemed to realize his panic, and comforted him, which was unusual.

"I'm okay Jim." Spock said, his voice sending tingles down Jim's spine. "What happened to Filisi? And your arm?" He asked as he noticed the slight bulge of the bandage under Jim's uniform.

"Everything's fine, I nicked my arm on Filisi's fang so we could understand one another. We straightened everything out, and I've sent information to the Federation so they can send another ship for Ambassadors and such." Jim explained, leaning closer to Spock.

"I see." Spock raised his hand to Jim's cheek, feeling how cool it was. As he entered Jim's mind, he hadn't realized how scared Jim had been about losing him. He was touched he cared so much. Jim knelt down for a kiss, and it was so…good.

Yay so this is part 1 of 2, don't worry more angst is coming! Thanks for reading, hope you review!