A Day
My parents were freed today. I should feel happy. Ecstatic, even. The war is over, the world was saved, and my parents were freed from the control of the yeerks. Mostly, I just feel numb. The press has surrounded our house, pushing and shoving to get a good view, a good camera angle, an interview. Their questions seem to press against the windows and slide under the door, searching for a way in.
"Jake, how does it feel to know you saved the world?" I don't know. "Will the animorphs continue to be friends, now that the war is over?" Another question I don't know the answer to. "Jake, do you have any plans for college?" College? I can barely think about what I'm going to do next week, let alone where I'll be going for college. "Jake, do you have a girlfriend?" maybe. I don't know. Probably not anymore. "Jake, how does it feel to have saved your family?" The question hits me like a bulldozer. I should have expected the question. Saved my family. It's the logical extension of what everyone knows about me. Jake, leader of the animorphs. Jake, who saved the world. Jake, who saved humanity.
Jake, who saved his family.
It seems right to them, somehow. Closure to the story. The fearless leader-Jake, who saved the day. But my family wasn't saved in the final battle. Three of us went up in those ships. My brother, Tom, who I had killed. My cousin, Rachel, who I used like a hunting dog, like a loaded gun, like a weapon. And me. Who killed both of them, because I ran the numbers and did the math and was more ruthless, in that moment, then a hundred Marcos could ever dream of being.
"Jake, are you aware that a tee-shirt has been released with your face on it?" The questions pile up, unanswered, smothering me. They curl around my ankles and push against me, until I can barely breathe. I feel their accusing stares follow me around the room, until I can't take it anymore. In a frozen haze of guilt, I feel my body beginning to shrink as I take the only consolation left to me. I reach the window, and throw myself into the air. I fly away, and a thousand questing cameras on the ground below tilt up like sunflowers, recording my flight.