"No," Edward crooned, his voice seductive. "Stay just a little long." She wheeled and flew toward the refuge of the forest like an arrow from a bow.

He jumped after her, so much faster, so much more lithely, and just as he was about on her, she turned toward him, fury in her eyes. It was a split second decision, so Edward was caught by surprise. Suddenly, she had him pinned to the ground, and she was snarling like a mountain lion, her teeth inches from his face. She had him pinned by the shoulders, and he had her around the neck, holding her back. I could see that he was trying hard to keep her at bay, but her sudden fury and her seemingly last bit of energy was too much. She had him. I took all this in during the two seconds it was happening, too shocked to realize what was happening. Just as I let lose a horrible scream- I didn't think that kind of noise could come out of my mouth- and dropped my rock from shock, he looked up at me with loving eyes. He knew he was going to be torn apart. He mouthed the words "I love you" to meas Victoria got her cruel and snarling teeth around his neck, and he closed his eyes. He had given up. I collapsed on the spot, turning my face as I did. The last thing I saw was his peaceful face as my eyes closed for what I hoped was the last time.

I woke up to bright sunlight and murmuring voices in the background. I couldn't open my eyes, so I tried to remember what had happened. I must be in heaven, I thought, as I struggled to recall my dying moment. Then the blinding pain of the last few moments of my consciousness hi t me, and I was disappointed. If this was heaven, then why was I in so much pain? I should be opening my eyes to see Edward's face, so it doesn't matter that he died and left me to Victoria. It shouldn't matter that the look he gave me was so painful, and so sharply in focus, that it had broken my heart completely in half. Maybe Victoria hadn't even gotten to me. Maybe I had died from a shattered heart.

"Bells? Are you awake? It's alright; no one's going to hurt you. Open your eyes so we can talk." Someone was talking to me, and it wasn't Edward. Were there other people in heaven? I wondered… would they care if there was a vampire in heaven? - But that voice sounded familiar, like I had heard if very recently. As I tried to figure this out, I felt someone very, very warm touch me, and my heart practically stopped beating. I hadn't even noticed my heartbeat before now. As I thought over this new predicament, I realized that my heartbeat must mean the very thing I had always had nightmares about. I was alive. I was still alive, and Edward was gone. Someone, very possibly Jacob, wanted me to open my eyes but suddenly my eyelids seemed to feel like lead, weighed down by what I had just become conscious of.

"Please, Bella. I really, really need to talk to you. You are making me go crazy!" Jacob sounded worried, but I was still wallowing in my depression and wasn't ready to talk. Edward was gone, and he was never coming back. This wasn't like when he left the first time, because I knew he wasn't ever coming back- there was no chance, no daydreams I could make up. Maybe if I had known that he was alive, and at least thought he was doing well, then I could've opened my eyes and faced reality. I remembered Edward's words once, when we had talked about our relationship. He had said that there was no way that he was going to live without me, and we had shared a mutual understanding that neither would live without the other. What was I supposed to do without him? I couldn't go on living; there was something about that decision that almost seemed like a betrayal to him. The last thing he had said to me was "I love you" and that was what I was going to think about until-

"Bella, open your eyes!" Jacob had interrupted my wallowing- there was no way I was going to open my eyes now. I squeezed them shut tighter and heard him sigh in relief. "Thank God. That's the first time you've reacted in the past 46 hours." My eyebrows shot up, despite my conviction to not open my eyes. "Yes, you've been asleep for two days." I had really been asleep that long? Or unconscious, since I didn't remember anything that had happened. I was confused, and it must've shown on my face, because Jacob started talking again, in a hushed whisper that got stronger as he explained. "I see you aren't going to open your eyes, so I'll talk. As soon as Seth saw Edward on the ground, he tore apart Robbie, or Ronnie, or whatever that monster's name was, thinking that he would just burn him later, and he jumped for Victoria. But in the few seconds that she had, Victoria had gotten out a lighter- God knows why a vampire would carry a lighter around- anyways, she got out a lighter, and... lit him... burned... damn it! I'm sorry Bella… she caught Edward on fire, and he burned as Seth wrestled with her, trying to keep her away from you, which he wasn't doing a very good job of when I got there. He was holding her off, but just barely. He was losing it, I could tell, and she was slowly gaining ground. I got there as fast as I could, and when I saw Edward... well, even I was in pain when I saw him, all... and you on the ground, with Seth barely holding off Victoria, I almost lost it. We burned Victoria, after Seth and I ripped her into a million little pieces, which was the best thing we could think of. I wanted to take her to Italy... I know that group of bloodsuckers that lives there can do some really horrible things, and I was hoping we could get them to do something to her, but the other guys didn't like that idea..." Jacob chuckled darkly, probably imagining the things that the Voltouri could've done to Victoria, and then he continued. "And the whole time, you were unconscious, on the ground where you had fainted. So I picked you up, and Seth and I brought you here. The fight is over..." His voice broke slightly, and my heart constricted. Who had we lost? Who was hurt? I didn't have much time to think about it, because he continued. "They're all waiting anxiously to here from one of us. I wouldn't let anyone go anywhere near you." He finished a little sheepishly, sounding slightly embarrassed by his over protectiveness. I wanted to open my eyes; to ask who had lost their life on my account. I took a deep breath, and opened my eyes. Jacob had his head turned away, looking out the window, with tears in his eyes.

"Jacob? Who is it?" My voice cracked slightly, and it was barely a whisper, but as he turned, he looked pleased for just a moment.

"Oh, Bella, you... it's not your fault. I know you thinking that, I can see it on your face. That was probably your first thought when I said... but it's not your fault... Victoria would've done the same thing, no matter what. She was too set on revenge; she would've brought havoc and destruction on us no matter what." He took my face in his hands, looking me right in the eyes as he spoke. I reached up to put my hands on his cheeks, taking his face in mine. His cheeks were wet, so I gently wiped away his tears.

"Just tell me, Jacob. Was it Sam?" He shook his head. "Seth?" My voice broke slightly when I said his name, but again Jacob shook his head.

"It... it was Quil. I didn't even get to... I didn't see it happen. I didn't get to say goodbye..." Jacob broke down, leaning into me like a child, his body shaking with the sobs. I wrapped my arms around him, tears now streaming down my face. Quil; Quil was dead, and I had never even gotten to thank him. He gave his life for me, and I barely knew him.

"I'm sorry, Jacob. I'm so sorry." It was all I could say, and I said it over and over again as I stroked his hair and rubbed his back. I tried to keep my arms around him, but as he encircled me with his huge arms, I resorted to just putting my arms around his neck, cradling his head.

"Poor... poor Claire; she's so devastated. She has been crying nonstop since we came home without him. She doesn't understand..." His voice broke again, but he didn't start sobbing, just closed his eyes and put his head on my shoulder. He was getting heavy, since he was leaning heavily on me, so I leaned back against the wall behind his bed, laying my cheek against his forehead. We stayed like this for a few minutes, not talking, just listening to each other's breathing, and Jacob's finally coming in even intervals as the sobs left him. After those few minutes of numbness, Jacob took a deep breath.

"I should probably let everyone know that you are alright. I'll be right back; I'll go call everyone." As he got up to leave, I panicked. What if he left me? I knew it was an irrational fear; Jacob would never leave me, he had told me that many, many times. But I had been left too many times already… so I reached for his arms, as I felt the panic in my eyes start to show. He turned back, and when he saw the panic in my eyes, he quickly sat down, crushing me to his chest.

"Please. I'm not ready to let you out of my sight yet, Jacob," I said, burrowing my head into his chest. "You are all I have left. Can't we just stay here? I don't want to see anyone yet- please," I said, tears welling up again.

"Bells, relax. I won't go anywhere, I promise. We don't have to go see them yet, but at least let me call them. My phone is sitting on the coffee table- you'll be able to see me the whole time," he said, trying to calm me down. I nodded, letting go of his arm. I watched him make his way over to the table, grab his phone, and then turn around and come back. He sat down next to me and dialed a number, holding the phone up to one ear and wrapping his arm around my shoulders. I curled up into his side, trying to block out the conversation he was having. He stood up and went over to the window, making it easier for me to block out his words. I closed my eyes and buried my whole body deep under the covers, but I still started to shiver. When Jacob came back over to the bed, he looked at me, obviously alarmed.

"Bella, are you alright? You're shivering like a leaf," he said, sitting down and putting a hand on my cheek. I didn't answer him, just closed my eyes. I heard the bed squeak, and then I felt warmth all up and down my body as Jacob put his arm around me. "Do you want me to get under the blanket with you? You'd probably be warmer."

That would be betrayal- lying in bed with Jacob only two days after Edward had died… I shook my head frantically, squeezing my eyes shut tightly.

"Okay, okay, I won't- it's alright," he said, but I could hear the hurt in his voice as he spoke. I sighed- I would never be able to stop hurting him, no matter how hard I tried… but I had to try and explain.

"I'm sorry, Jacob, I know that hurts your feelings," I said quietly, keeping my eyes shut. "I just… I can't do that yet. It would feel like… betrayal. I would feel like I'm replacing him, and he just died two days ago. I just… I'm sorry." Jacob ran his hands along my face, pushing my hair back, and then he put it back around my shoulders.

"It's okay, I already said- I do understand what you mean… I know how much you loved him, and I know that this is hard for you. I just want you to know that I think he would be happy to see you with me. He told me a few times that I was better for you than him." I scowled, and he quickly kept talking. "I know you think that's not true, and I don't mean to impede on your opinions, I'm just saying that he would be happy to know that I'm here for you when he can't be."

We lapsed into silence then, and I slowly fell back asleep, trying not to think of anything and letting the darkness envelope me. Eventually I fell asleep, and the dream I had was horrible and beautiful at the same time.

In the first dream, I was standing in a green, lush forest, and I had no idea where I was. I felt panicked and scared, and I was afraid I would never get out of the forest, and I'd never see Edward or Jacob again. I walked one way, and then I started walking faster and faster until I was running. As I continued to run, I kept seeing movement out of the corner of my eyes, first on one side, then on the other. I would look one way, but there'd be nothing there. Finally, I started to see a large, brown shape that was up ahead, running in front of me. As I got closer, I realized it was Jacob in his wolf form, running slowly. I ran up next to him, and he looked at me with his beautiful eyes- they had tears in them, like he was crying… but he was a wolf. I reached out to touch him and his warm, soft fur comforted me. Then, on my other side, Edward appeared, running gracefully next to me. While I had been able to touch Jacob, when I reached out for Edward, he moved just out of my reach. I couldn't reach him, and it was upsetting me greatly. Jacob moved with me as I reached for Edward, and finally, we all stopped running. Jacob stood right next to me and Edward in front of us. What he said to me I will never forget.

"Bella, I love you, and I know you love me, but I also know you love Jacob. I am dead- you have to accept that. Maybe one day we'll see each other… you always seemed so adamant that I would go to heaven, and I hope I have. For now, though, I want you to love Jacob. He has been a wonderful friend to you, and he was there for you when I wasn't. Let him help you get over me, and I know that he will be able to do what I cannot," he said, and his shoulders started to heave. The only time I'd ever seen a vampire cry was when we got off the plane from Italy and Esme was crying in the lobby. It was horrifying to see Edward cry. I reached out, my shoulders starting to shake, too, but he backed away, shaking his head. Suddenly, I felt Jacob's nose on my shoulder, and I turned to him, wrapping my arms around his neck and burying my head in his fur. I looked at Edward one last time- there was such a longing in his eyes that it almost broke my heart… again.

He started to disappear, and I panicked.

"Wait! I love you, Edward, you can't leave me! This isn't fair!" I called after him, but he still faded away slowly, his shoulder heaving as he watched me.

"I'll see you in heaven, Bella. I love you." Then he was gone and I woke up with a start.

Jacob was watching me carefully, a masked look on his face. My cheeks were wet, along with the pillow I had my head on, and the blankets were all twisted around my legs and body. I took a deep, shaky breath, trying to banish the dream from my head, but it didn't work.

"You had a dream about him, didn't you?" I nodded, burying my face into the pillow. "You were talking very loudly in your sleep…" He quieted for a moment, continuing to watch me carefully. Then he took a deep breath. "Was it really bad?" I looked at him for a second, and then I leaned over, wrapping my arms around his chest and laying my head on his shoulder. He held me tight and leaned back against the wall, rubbing slow circles on my back.

"It was… bad. I have a feeling I'm not going to be able to sleep for a long time. He talked to me… told me to move on and let you help me. He said that you've been a good friend to me and that you were there for me when he wasn't, and he can…" I had to stop as a sob choked me. "You can do… what he can't." I stopped then as my shoulders started to shake and I started to cry just like I had in my dream.

"It was so real, that was the worst part. He looked so beautiful, standing before me, just like my own guardian angel. It was horrible," I said, shaking my head as I cried softly. Jacob held me tighter, not saying a word as I cried.

I don't know how long we stayed like that, but eventually, my stomach started to grumble.

"Are you hungry? You haven't eaten anything since before the fight, and I've barely eaten anything either. What should we have? Eggs? Toast? I can make those," he said, and I nodded.

"Sure. I'll come with you- then we can just eat in there," I said quietly. "I'm not that hungry, so don't make too much."

"Well, I'm starving, so I'll make enough for me and a tiny bit more for you." I nodded, and he got up stretching up to the ceiling and then down to his toes. I pushed myself to the end of the bed, slowly getting up on shaky legs. I hadn't been up out of bed since I had passed out, and my legs were weak and achy, along with my back and neck and everything else.

We went into the kitchen and Jacob quickly whipped up a couple eggs and some toast. We ate in silence, and when he'd finally finished, I sighed.

"I guess we need to go find everyone… where are they?"

"Actually, they were all together at the Cullen's when I called. I'm not sure if they're still there… are you sure you're ready? We don't have to go over there if you don't want," he said, watching me carefully to see my response.

"Jacob, I'm never going to be ready… so we might as well go now," I said with a shrug, and Jacob took my hand, giving it a squeeze.

"I'll be right there beside you the whole time, I promise." I tried to smile at him, but I think it came out as more of a grimace. Then I thought of something.

"What… what does Charlie know?" I was afraid to face Charlie. He knew me better than anyone, and he would know that something was seriously wrong.

"We gave him a story… said that Seth, Sam, Embry, Qu..." He stopped at Quil's name, taking a deep breath to calm himself. "Quil, Paul, Jared, and I were on a camping trip and he was attacked by a crazy mountain lion, and we couldn't get to him in time… it's somewhat true. He was attacked, just not by a mountain lion. And then, when we got back, we learned that someone had attacked the Cullen's house, and that you were only scared into fainting, nothing more. So just come up with a story about how you and Alice were sleeping upstairs, and all of a sudden someone burst into the room with a knife and started screaming, and you got so scared you fainted. The attacker… well, he got to Edward first, and Edward didn't… Alice can fill in the details, since she's there with the rest of the bloodsuckers." He scowled slightly, probably from the thought of what seeing them would do to me. And he was right. I didn't know how I was going to be able to look at Carlisle, or Esme, or any of them, and see in their eyes the hurt that mirrored the hurt in mine. At least I didn't have to pretend to be happy, like the last time Edward left. He hadn't done this on purpose, so I could mourn with the rest of his family. As Jacob guided me to the car, keeping his hand on my elbow, I thought the whole thing through. And that got me thinking about what Edward had said, about not living without me. Could I leave Jacob behind? I didn't think it was possible… Edward would wait for me, I knew he would. Could I keep living without him? It might be unbearably painful, but imagining the pain I would put Jacob through, and Charlie, and Renee, if I killed myself made that pain worth it. I couldn't give up being human just yet… and Edward would wait for me and understand when I got to him.