I wrote this because I was bored one day and wanted to, well, write! So if you don't like it, don't review because when someone flames my work, either it's art or writing, it hurts me. Ok?
Also, I changed my style to look a bit more 'professional' but I guess it didn't work because, it doesn't look professional.
Dib and Zim and everyone else (c) Jhonen Vasquez
The word cackle is used in many ways, and means only one thing. At least, that's what I know, and I don't know a lot, mind you. But in this story, the word cackle means 'The boy may cackle evilly, but he makes the best marshmallows.' Cackle is used as laughing very very very very, almost terrifyingly, long. And evil. And anything in between long and evil, which isn't a lot. Now, the story begins with a skool, no that's not bad grammar, that's really how they spell it. And in this skool there are children. And in this children are organs. And in those organs are horrors beyond your imagination. And in those horrors there is a bus station. And I haven't taken that bus yet, so I don't know what's beyond that. But, let's go back to the children. The children sit in rows of 7, I think. I never really bothered to count because I was late for the bus, but I suppose it's around seven. The first boy in the first row who was the first new student in that class was a green boy with a backpack that looked like a ladybug's back. Spots and such. He had large eyes that were green, and his hair looked fake and shiny. Like a movie star, or a wig, but no little boy would wear a wig, now would he? Wigs are nasty things that make the brain stupid and not know how to spell 'school.' Anyway, the green boy's name was Zim and he wore a pink dress, horray for Zim. The name sounded, and he looked, like an alien. This made another little boy go insane-er. The boy was all the way on the other side of the school, and he had a very large head which was hard to notice, and to look over. That poor kid that sits behind that big headed boy. The big headed boy wore glasses and a fancy black coat that made him look like a scientist. That lucky, lucky boy. His name was Dib and on the front of his blue shirt it had a face that had a blank expression. Plus, his hair was funky because it looked like a sickle.
I bet you're thinking 'Wow! These guys must be REALLY popular because they sound so cool and the horrible author explained them, so they MUST be cool!' If you are, then you are wrong. Well, except for the 'horrible author' part, because you're right about that. Anyway, why am I talking about such un-cool and un-noticed losers? Well, someone has to, and I didn't really want to do it but I was forced to, or else I wouldn't get paid. And I need money to buy my pet gerbil this book he's been wanting. So, please read this story and let my gerbil get his book so that he stops chewing on my pinky-toe.
Now, to start off the story! The bell rang for skool and the small children were already in their seats. They're such good children, not like my classmates. Darn lunch box stealing- making fun of me- kicking me in the leg- meanies! Wouldn't they learn by the 7th grade? Don't steal a girls' lunch box! Especially lunch boxes with pretty ponies and sparkling elves that wish me a happy day before I leave for the bus stop in my neighbors' horrors. Anyway, Zim was sitting in his desk like the rest of his class, but Dib ran in 3 seconds after the bell ran. Dib stomped his foot on the ground as Zim laughed and pointed at Dib as he stood up on his chair. "I got here on time like a NORMAL human boy! I AM NORMAL! Dib should be the alien!" Zim yelled as Dib rolled his eyes and walked over to his seat. Right as he sat down, Mrs. Bitters, the creepy, slithering, and ghost-like teacher, appeared next to his desk. She hissed and pointed to the clock.
"Were you late, Dib?" Mrs. Bitters asked as Dib looked up at her and smiled nervously. "N-No." Dib said and continued to smile nervously. Mrs. Bitters stared at him, but he didn't move. It was like a snake looking down at a paralyzed rodent. The rodent couldn't do anything but stare and not move, with either fear or paralyzed-ness, and the snake could eat swallow him whole at any minute. Now, Mrs. Bitters wasn't going to eat Dib, but she was going to punish him if he was lying. But she just slithered over to her desk and came up with mechanical sounds coming from somewhere. Was she a robot too?
"Now, class, I am going to talk about DOOM. Open your horrible textbooks to page 849." Mrs. Bitters told the class and the class did so. Except for our two heroes, who weren't really heroes but they're the main people in the book so they're heroes. Dib was drawing Zim in a tube, looking very sad, while Dib was dancing around the tube. Zim was drawing out his next plan to destroy the earth that day. Dib looked over at Zim, right when Zim looked at Dib. They're eyes met and they both glared, but after a few moments of glaring and electricity going around the classroom from the eyes, Dib looked at his paper and started to add 'detail.' Which was stains on the glass, floor, and walls, because apparently Jhonen Vasquez likes stains. That's what I've heard anyway.
The first part of the eventful day was ending as the lunch bell was about to ring. Zim looked at the bell, staring at it. Zim thought that if he commanded time to go faster, then it would. Why? Because he was Zim! "And so, where Zeta is sitting, there will be DOOM. And where The Letter M is sitting, there will be CHAOS, and where Zim is sitting, there will be FLOWERS-" Mrs. Bitters was teaching to the class but then got rudely interrupted by Zim. "FLOWERS! What about mad chaos and earth ruling?" Mrs. Bitters growled and slithered over to Zim's desk, but Zim just stared up at her with angry eyes. Mrs. Bitters was about to explain why there were flowers there instead of mad chaos or earth ruling, but Zim said something first.
"I am ZIM! I shall RULE this earth and cause MAD CHAOS! And once these 'flowers' appear, I shall SQUASH THEM WITH MY BOOT!" Zim yelled and stuck up his foot, swishing his foot around. Mrs. Bitters hissed and pushed Zim's foot out of the way. Dib snorted to himself as Zim made his little 'speech' and stared at his drawing. "Not if I have anything to do with it." Dib mumbled when the lunch bell rang. Dib grabbed his picture and ran out of the room after the rest of the children. Zim was the first to run out, so he beat Dib yet again.
In the lunch room, the kids sat and ate their moving, and possibly living, food. Zim poked at his food though, and wouldn't dare eat it. At least he had the guts to admit the food was disgusting. Have you seen the lunch lady? She's humongous and she looks like a person who was put in prison but got released. The last time someone told her that her food was disgusting and unpleasant, no one heard from that little boy again. But the next day they had ham that didn't really taste like ham. Zim pushed his tray away and stuck his tongue out in disgust. He was the only one at his table so no one noticed. Dib stared at Zim as he ate his food. Not even Dib was sitting alone, because his sister sat next to him. She looked about a year younger than Dib and she was playing her video game. This little girl looked scarier than death itself. I mean, she was adorable but her attitude makes me hide in fear. She had purple, pointy hair that stuck up and around her face. Her eyes were always closed and she wore a purple dress-like shirt with a skull on it. She had black pants, as did everyone else. Her name was Gaz and she only sat with Dib because no one else would sit with her.
Dib lightly chewed his food and Gaz had nothing in front of her but her game slave 2, which was the hit game. Everyone had one! If you don't, then you aren't awesomely awesome. "Look at him, Gaz! He never eats his food; no human child can not eat lunch…" Dib said and started to eat his mashed potatoes, which almost ran off his tray. Gaz gasped and looked at Dib with wide eyes. "No! That can't be! He must be an alien!" Gaz sarcastically said as Dib looked at Gaz and smiled. He nodded and held up his finger so that he could look smart. "That's what I've been sayi-" Dib said with a hint of happiness in his voice but was interrupted by Gaz. "I don't eat the lunch, so that must mean I'm an alien too! Idiot." Gaz said and looked at her game again, her eyes closed. Dib lowered his finger sadly and started to eat his food again, staring at Zim. Zim looked around the lunchroom until his eyes met with Dib's. Sparks flew again as Zim and Dib glared at each other, making the author duck from the sparks so that she would be killed, or set on fire. A few moments of this and they both had to stop because the lunch lady threw her food at Dib and Zim, making them both burn.
Gaz and all the kids looked at the burning Dib and Zim and laughed. Zim and Dib were wailing and screaming and wiggling and squiggling on the floor. They also somehow did that all at the same time. By the time lunch was over, Dib was off the floor and cleaned up, but Zim had a huge bubbling thing on the side of his head. Zim was breathing heavily, which made him look sick and about to die. This brought tears of joy to Dib's eyes as he stared at the suffering alien. Zim had mumbled something under his breath and Dib poked his head over so that he could see Zim, and hoping to hear what he said. Sadly, Dib didn't and Dib was saddened by this. I was saddened as well, because I could not hear what Zim said, or see it, because I was being carried off by the police for not being in school. Luckily I escaped from jail and grounding by the time school was over. I asked around the classroom to know what had happened, and all they said was that Zim was quiet and so was Dib, which was really weird. Some kids- Most kids asked who Dib and Zim even WERE, and one girl said that Dib was sitting on a pink cloud wearing only an 'I love you' necklace and a- I prefer not to say the rest. When I heard it, it sounded a bit odd but I accepted it. After a while though, when I thought of it, I couldn't see anything the same anymore. Now, I can not type it or else my sense of smell, my hearing, and my vision will leave me. Back to our 'heroes' who were suspiciously always near each other. Dib hid un-professionally behind poles and mailboxes. Zim walked home in a march, his arms and legs swinging back and forth. Gaz was no where to be seen though. Zim looked as though he was busy thinking of something and didn't notice that Dib was following him. Dib noticed that Zim wasn't turning around and saying something like "Leave me be, Dib-stink! Go home to your Tele and Videos of home. GO! SHOO! I AM ZIM!" That's something Zim-like right? Right?
Dib then stepped away from the poles and just followed Zim, his hands by his sides. It looked as though it was a little girl following her crush, who was in a daze then. I giggled when I thought of that, because the image of them getting together made butterflies fly through my stomach, and then they went to see my horrors and waited at the bus stop. Dib started to get aggravated and broke his 'detective' work by talking to his subject. "Zim! I'm going to beat you today, tomorrow, and everyday! You will never get earth!" Dib yelled and knowing Zim, he would yell back with a Zim-ish reply. There was no Zim-ish reply, but a... "That's nice." Came from Zim's lips as he stared up at the sky and thought. Dib blinked and smiled, taking Zim's daze for advantage. Dib got out a recorder and pushed the 'record' button. A small button flashed red as Dib looked up at Zim with an evil smile.
"Can I destroy your base, send your base, your equipment, and you to Mysterious Mysteries so that you can be dissected and your equipment can be looked at and used for earth's personal gain?" Dib asked one long, important question. Zim just nodded and waved his hand back. "Yes, yes, you may." Zim answered and lowered his hand. Dib's eyes widened and he smiled, throwing his fist in the air. "The earth is SAFE! Now, to get your base to Mysterious Mysteries and to fit your base, equipment and you into a large box…" Dib said and held his head as he walked. Thinking of ideas, and his own mind in the clouds, both were silent. Small mumbles came from both of them though. "How can I get a big enough box?" Dib mumbled but then a few seconds after that he said, "No, that won't do." Zim looked towards the sky, his mind buzzing around. I heard many mumbles between them, but the only mumbles out of Zim that I could hear were, "What should I use? Ray gun or a human gun?" That scared me a bit. What was Zim going to do with a ray gun or a human gun! Zim walked up his sidewalk that leaded to his house. Dib followed them, both of them making small mumbles. Zim walked up his own sidewalk and up to his door, slowly opening it and walking in, shutting it behind him. Dib kept walking forward though, going home. I peered into Zim's house, dodging the gnomes of course. Zim slowly took off his disguise to show off two long and beautiful antennas that were a midnight black that shined from lights, and two giant ruby eyes with large bright ruby circles in them. I was drooling over those eyes, because they were so beautiful. Ah hah! A little alien-boy was wearing a wig. I knew it all along! The one thing that caught my most attention was a little green dog sitting in front of a giant TV screen. He had black paws and black ears. He didn't really look like a dog, though. He looked like a stuffed animal dog, but soon, the dog slumped to the ground and a robot was standing there. The robot had two large aqua eyes and a large head with an antenna. He had a rounded-squared body that had another square with a handle on it, which was also aqua blue. The arms were long and thin, with two aqua blue gems were the middle of the two-fingered hand. The legs were long and triangular. That robot had a brilliant disguise! I never even knew it was a robot. What technology.
"Gir! I need you to get a human 'gun.'" Zim commanded and looked at Gir, who stared at Zim with a cute little smile. "Can I get some tacos too?" Gir asked and got up off the floor and away from his costume. Zim sighed and shook his head. For some reason, Zim was looking very serious and he didn't chuckle. "No, Gir. This is strictly for the mission!" Zim said, which made Gir run of to Zim and cling to his arm. Gir started to robotically cry, which made my heart tear to see the cute little guy cry. "But I NEED tacos! I need them for the mission!" Gir whined as Zim growled and reluctantly gave in with a sigh and a small "Fine." From Zim, which made Gir the happiest robot alive. Zim gave Gir some money and Gir skipped off happily. Anyone on that block could hear happy robotic squeals and 'tink tink' from the skipping Gir was doing. Zim sighed and sat down on his couch, holding his head. "What did I deserve to get that robot? He may be stupid at times, but he does things ri- Wait! He forgot his disguise!" Zim realized as he ran over to the disguise and ran out the door. Zim didn't notice me because he was too worried about someone discovering him. I decided to run off to Dib's house, to see how he was doing. By the time I got there, Dib was just entering his door, which was good news for me.
"I'm home!" Dib called into his house, but only heard a grunt from Gaz as he walked in. Dib slowly shut the door and stared at the empty house. Gaz didn't turn on the TV and she only had her game slave 2, which was silent because she was wearing headphones for it. Dib frowned then a positive smile was on his face. "Is dad home?" Dib asked, hopeful that his father was home. Gaz looked at him and one of her eyes opened. "He's never home." Gaz answered but Dib glared at her and walked over to the couch. "He comes home early on Wednesdays!" Dib corrected and smiled proudly but was only saddened by Gaz's remark. "It is Wednesday." Gaz mumbled and waved her hand at Dib as she stared at her game. "Now go away, Dib. I'm in the zone and I don't want to be bothered. And if I hear a single television on, or any kind of sound, you will wish I was never born." Gaz warned as a disappointed Dib slowly got up and walked up the stairs to his room. Dib got into his room and sat on his bed, his hands on his forehead. "He would be home if he knew that I was saving the world. He would be here to help me, too!" Dib mumbled and stuffed his head into his pillow. From what I could see, Dib was crying. Dib had a lot of respect for his father, and his father was his only parent left. I tried to find out what happened to Dib's mother, but no one knows. I even asked Gaz, but she wouldn't talk about it. Dib sat on his bed crying for an hour. I had to watch this event and not even give the poor boy a hug.
Dib did mumble something, but I couldn't hear it. Dib got up, his glasses fogged but not a single tearstain on his cheek. His eyes weren't even red. Dib just got on his computer and stayed in his room all day. He often looked on his telescope to spy on Zim, but other than that, he was on the computer. I frowned and got very bored. I wonder, are these two people interesting enough for a story? I'm going to get fired and I won't be able to buy that book! Now, thanks to the bored readers, I will be eaten alive by my gerbil. But, since I'm too afraid to go home, I will still investigate my subjects. I am determined to make this story interesting! When it was starting to get dark, Dib finally left his room, which made this author very excited. Dib ran downstairs and out the backdoor, his coat flying behind him. He ran over to the ladder that was up against the house and climbed up, getting onto the roof and sitting down on it. He stared up at the sky, his eyes shining in the process. The stars reflected off of Dib's huge glasses. I bet the sky was the only thing that made him happy, yet, I was wrong. Zim ran down the street, screaming his lungs out as a saucy Gir chased him. Zim was out of his disguise and so was Gir, and this made Dib's smile widen. He stared down at Zim as Zim ran around and away from Gir, who was trying to give him a hug. Did Zim make him happy too? Was this the same kind of happy, or a different kind? Finally, after about 10 minutes of screaming from Zim, Gir stopped and sat down, hugging himself. Zim was out of breath and he was holding his knees. "L-Let me just.. get my breath." Zim breathed and took a deep breath and sat down.
Dib stared down at Zim still, his eyes staring into Zim's. There was no glare or hatred in his eyes, just cheese. It's the kind of cheese you dip French fries in, and French fries come from France and France is where they speak French and French is the language of love so…GASP! Dib is staring at Zim with love! Dib continued to stare as Zim took another breath and finally laid down, making Gir scream and cry robotic tears. "Master! I killed Master!" The little robot cried and picked Zim up, and flying off. Zim, from afar, yelled for Gir to let him go, but Gir just raced home. Dib was sad to see Zim go, but Dib returned to look at the sky. "Stupid alien, messing up my night." Dib said and looked fake-mad, as if anyone was looking at him stare at Zim. Wait… Dib stared at the sky all night as Zim raced home with Gir. I soon left Dib alone and I didn't want to disturb Zim and his 'studies' or whatever he was doing with that human gun.
I kept wondering though, as I walked home, what would happen to me? What if my gerbil ate through the metal I was wearing under all my clothes? The world may never know. As I was walking home though, I saw that Zim was shooting a target. A large target at that. I frowned and sighed, walking off. It was none of my business, anyway. Uhh- It may be but, I have to catch the bus of horror on street organ.