Fandom(s): NCIS Genre (general, hetero or slash) Gen Pairing/Characters: no pairing Rating: FRT 15 Summary: Abby has a hard time letting go post Twilight.
Warnings: spoilers for Kill Ari I & II Disclaimer. I don't own the NCIS characters, I'm only borrowing them, and I promise to return them in minty fresh condition when I'm finished.
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Abby slammed the door behind her as she hurried into her apartment. She shrugged off her long black coat, dropping it on the floor behind her as she made her way into her bedroom. A few minutes later she was sitting cross-legged in her coffin, her Ouija board and pointer balanced on her knees. Closing her eyes, Abby let her hands relax on the pointer. "Come on Kate, I need to talk to you, please..."
"You know you don't have to use that thing all the time."
Abby opened her eyes and smiled at Kate who was sitting in the antique rocking chair a few feet away from the coffin.
"All you have to do is just think of me and I'll come, you know that."
"I know," said Abby, putting the Ouija board aside, "But it sort of feels weird to just sort of yell out your name."
"And using a Ouija board isn't?" They both laughed before Kate continued, "So what's up? Something hinky at work?"
Abby drew her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. "Things have been hinky for so long now, I don't know what it's like to be normal anymore. Everything's changed since you died. Ducky doesn't tell me stories the way he used to. Tony's bottling everything up inside of him. McGee looks like a kicked puppy every time somebody mentions your name, and Gibbs..." Abby's voice trailed off, and there was a catch in it when she continued, "Gibbs is blaming himself for you being killed."
"And so he should."
Abby's head jerked up in surprise. "You can't mean that, Kate. Gibbs would have stepped in front of that bullet for you if he could've. How can you blame him for Ari shooting you?"
Kate shrugged and tossed her long blonde hair out of the way. "If Gibbs hadn't shown up on Air Force One when he did...I'd never have joined N.C.I.S. Okay, maybe I'd have still had to resign from the Secret Service, but I'd have gotten another job. And I probably wouldn't even have resigned only he made me feel so guilty over the whole 'sleeping with somebody I work with' thing."
"Well there is rule twelve," pointed out Abby.
"Yeah, but I didn't exactly hear him ordering you and McGee to stop knocking boots, did I?"
"No," admitted Abby. "But we weren't assigned to the same command when we were hooked up."
"You always were his favorite," continued Kate. "You could get away with so much stuff. The rest of us tried it; he'd have had our guts for breakfast. You never did tell me your secret." She paused as if trying to collect her thoughts, before continuing, "Anyway, Gibbs was the one who hired me. If he hadn't done that then I'd never have crossed paths with Ari, and he wouldn't have shot me. Gibbs brought me to N.C.I.S. and then he couldn't protect me. If he'd been a better agent, a better person, then I wouldn't be dead..." Her voice softened a bit as she continued, "Or at least that's what he's telling himself right now. Oh Abby, it doesn't take profiling training to know that Gibbs is feeling as responsible for my death as if he'd painted a bulls eye right on my head. And he wasn't even able to kill Ari for me. He's hurting so badly, but there's nobody he can tell, because he's Gibbs and he has to be the bastard who's on top of things and in charge no matter what."
Abby nodded in acknowledgement. "He hasn't been the same since you died. None of us have. Oh Kate, we all miss you so much."
"I know you do, Abby, but things have to move on. Agents die, move on, we get replaced, and life goes on. It has to go on. You can't keep living in the past. I'm dead Abby, and sitting here talking to me like I'm still alive...it's not helping you move on."
There were tears staining Abby's face as she looked up. "You're leaving me...again?"
"As long as you remember me, I'll never truly have left, but it's time for me to rest." Kate's hair was now back to its normal color and her Goth chick outfit had been replaced by an N.C.I.S. jacket and baseball cap. "But you need to move on. Talk to real people, not a memory. I know it's hard, but you're a survivor. You all are, and you all need to be."
"I don't want you to go," blurted out Abby through her tears. "You shouldn't be dead. It's not fair!"
"I know," said Kate. "I know. Take comfort from the fact that I died doing my job, a job I loved. I didn't suffer, I wasn't in pain. I wish things could have been different."
"So do I."
"Goodbye Abby."
Abby could almost feel a pair of arms encircling her and giving a quick hug before fading away. When she looked up from her tears she was alone. As alone as she had been all along, but now she couldn't even conjure up the image of Kate to talk to. "Goodbye Kate," she said softly. "Requiescat in pace."
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The End