A/N: This is my first Twilight fic. I feel dorky saying that. Or, well, more like a n00b, but whatever. Just putting it out there. Read and, if you feel the urge, Review. Enjoy the Jacob/Bella - ness.
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"I swear you'll love it! Nothing too chic and yet nothing too plain. Besides, I've already foreseen your reaction, and I know it's positive."
Bella turned to look at the gown she would don for her upcoming wedding. Wedding. She shuddered at the thought. Even though she knew that it would make Edward happy, and that in the end she would still get what she wanted, Bella felt her instinctual gag reflex at the resentful word.
Too excited to notice Bella's distracted expression, Alice held up a simply beautiful ivory satin gown. As Alice held it up to Bella's figure, she rattled off the details of the dress' design, length, stitching, and so on. Bella wasn't paying attention. Bella was utterly lost in thought.
Did she really want this? Did she really want to be married to Edward? Did she really want to die?
Oh, yes. She really, really did.
But did she also want to lose Charlie? Renee? Humanity?
Bella didn't dare think of the other thing. The other someone. That someone who'd been haunting her daydreams for the past few days, weeks…
"…and I made sure there was no train or anything, because heaven knows you'd just end up tripping as you walked down the aisle."
Finally concentrating on the dress, Bella realized that it was indeed perfect for her. She looked up into Alice's bright, yellow eyes and smiled. "Oh, Alice. Thank you so much. This is absolutely gorgeous."
The petite girl hugged the dress to her chest. "I know! It's all going to be so perfect, I promise! Wait till you see the flowers and the-"
A knock at the door interrupted Alice's party details. With a muffled velvet voice, Edward cautiously inquired, "Is it safe in there? Or are there traditions to be ruined?"
Alice scoffed as she slipped the dress back into its black bag. "Whatever Edward. It's supposed to be a surprise, and you know it! Just because Bella doesn't care doesn't mean that you should join the bandwagon, too."
"Doesn't matter now. I just saw it in your mind."
Rolling her eyes, Alice roughly opened the door. Edward, leaning against the door frame, was smiling as he waited. His eyes caught Bella's immediately. "My love, you will look stunning in that dress."
Bella sighed, although she couldn't tell it was in relief or in discomfort. It didn't matter for very long, for once Edward walked into Bella's room and enveloped her into his arms, Bella didn't care about any of her worries and fears, and for the moment forgot to forget about a certain tall russet-skinned boy.
It didn't take much convincing to receive Edward's approval. Not that she would have listened anyway. If anything, the mere idea that she'd be complying to Edward's desires for traditionalism pushed Bella to rebel in any way she could.
And driving out to La Push late in the evening didn't get any more rebellious.
It made Bella a little upset that Edward was so trusting. Why should he be? Just because they were engaged…
Bella pushed those thoughts out of her head. The whole point of crossing the treaty line was to escape her future for a few hours. Escape her reality. Escape vampires. Edward.
...
It didn't take much more than a simple phone call. It was lucky, though, that Bella caught him at home, so rare that he was available these days. It was as though he knew Bella needed him. Knew that she needed him so badly.
He sat waiting on the porch steps, wearing torn up sweatpants and a sleeveless shirt. Bella ignored the memories of hot skin, bruising lips, sweet declarations of love. She needed to feel better, not worse.
Without any words, Bella stepped out of her truck and walked up to Jacob. For once their eyes were level, the difference in height lessened by Jacob's sitting position.
"Thanks. For letting me come out."
Shrugging his shoulders, Jacob simply said, "Sure, sure."
"Walk with me."
It was almost like the older days. They made their way down to the moonlit beach, carrying their shoes as they dipped their toes into the freezing water. A comfortable silence settled between them. Bella used this time to let her thoughts swim.
After an hour of creating imprints of their toes in the moist sand, Jacob dropped his shoes lightly onto the ground and reached for Bella's free hand.
"Why are you here?"
Choosing to avoid his piercing stare, Bella instead observed the picture of his hand holding hers. The contrast of pale against dark tan was, well, sort of beautiful.
"Bella?"
She made the mistake of connecting their eyes. Even though Jacob towered over her, Bella felt at ease, comfortable, equal.
Edward always felt too perfect for her. Too good to be true.
"Kiss me."
Jacob gaped but didn't release his hold on Bella's hand. "You're bluffing. Again."
"No, I'm not."
"Don't do this Bella. It's just cold feet. It'll be nothing for you but more confusion."
Bella shook her head. She had thought enough. She knew if she didn't leap now, she'd swear off cliffs for the rest of her short life and for the rest of her death. Dropping her own shoes, Bella grabbed Jacob's other hand and brought them both to rest against her cheeks.
"With Edward it will always be cold feet. Cold hands, cold embraces, cold kisses. But you, Jacob. You will always be warm."
A faint blush grew on Jacob's face as he struggled not to jump the gun. "What are you saying, Bella? What is that supposed to mean?"
Stepping closer to Jacob's form, Bella guided Jacob's hands to cup her face. "It means that I'm done running away from your warmth – your love. I need to feel alive. I'm not ready to die. I want you."
Jacob's hesitation snapped at those words, his lips curling into a victorious grin. "About time, Isabella Swan. About damn time."
She would be lying if she ever said that she felt no regret, no guilt, no indecision over leaving Edward. Bella loved him. Would always love him. But how could she love herself if she stayed with him?
As Jacob pulled Bella into a fiercely passionate kiss that night on the beach, Bella knew she could love herself like this. Warm and alive and in love.
Jacob Black was not perfect, was not everything she could ever want. But he was her air, her sun. And Bella was more than content to take a deep breath and dive.