I'm lost someone save me
A/N- hey my lovely readers. thank you for all the reviews and alerts although I'm not getting many ….=) well here is a-well it was supposed to be a one shot but now I think it will be a 4-shot …is that a word ? Anyhow…here we go. Please review. Constructive criticism is helpful. =)
Disclaimer – I don't own degrassi = (sadly …
Chapter one:
Elijah Goldsworthy thrummed his fingers against his desktop. He was anxious. Mrs. Dawes had assigned the class a paper; she said something along the lines of 'personal' and 'emotional'. Now this Eli was extremely skilled at words would pour from his pencil like water from a waterfall. Sometimes he was even too wordy .but it wasn't his paper he was interested in, no. it was the beautiful English partner of his he was extremely curious about.
The misfits were always talking about his problems or Adams problems that Clare never mentioned anything that happened in her life. She would sit there throughout these conversations and be extremely supportive. Each night he came home wondering about her. How were things with her parents? How was her sister in Kenya? How was she? He hadn't seen her breakdown yet but the first time he looked into her eyes he saw the pain and sadness. And he promised to himself he would make it disappear.
She had earlier said that she emailed him the assignment, during lunch and he started to get antsy. When he got home he nearly ran to his computer and killed the thing trying to put it on!
He opened up his email and grinned at the new message. He leaned in closely and clicked on the button, eyes widening as he took in the words on the screen.
Personal. Something personal is all you people ever want from me. My deepest feelings, my secrets, my love interest. Everything. I'm tired of holding it in. I feel like a rubber ball, someone toying me around and adding more, and more elastic each day. Then finally one will break and the rest will wind undone. Its broken .I'll be broken .every night I come home to yelling and screaming, torture and hate. That's not me…I'm bright and happy cheery and thoughtful. Or that's what I used to be. I can feel it already I'm losing myself. Every morning I wake up and look into my mirror. My one 'pretty eyes.' are one dull, a dark gray. With no interest or brightness within them. My lips once full and pink, people use to enjoy my kisses, but not anymore, my lips are now plump and boring. My bouncy girls are now flattened and gross, along with my ugly fat body. I'm surprised no one has said anything! I'm huge! No wonder no one likes me …I'm a mess. Secrets. I don't have any but one. I lie. Not to anyone but myself. I do it every day of my life, just the constant lies that go through my head each day. ' my parents will be fine there just going through a rough patch ','I'm beautiful', 'I'm skinny and perfect an better than some blonde cheerleader that my ex-boyfriend left me for 'or ' my parents always wanted me ,not just Darcy' and lastly 'someone out there cares .' the biggest one of all . Lies. There all just lies .this is everything wrapped up inside of me that I'm rolling out into this letter. There are details, there are words, emotions, and it's perfect. When I could have made it simple and wrote I'm broken in bold letters across the page.
Deep. It was extremely deep. Who would have though Clare was going through this much? And what kills him the most is the truth in third letter; she's broken, she's in pain.
He picked up his phone and dialed the femur phone number. "Adam ….its Clare." was all he had to say.