Weremyra
By: Leloni Bunny
Part 1:
Nowhere to run! The Black Knight lurched forward. His steed's strong hooves scraped across the ground. The knight's opponent was now in direct range. Though cornered, the White King showed no sign of fear and no sign of intending to retreat. His Majesty would remain firmly rooted until forcibly felled. The Black Knight was more than willing to oblige. He crossed into the White King's personal space. The Black Knight's bold intentions were clear.
Slowly, the White King leaned forward. His war was over. His eyes met the ground and embraced it. In confident triumph came the black Knight's declaration.
"Check-Mate."
Hamton J. Pig pulled his hand back from the chess board. He crossed his arms as he leaned back on his stool. There was no denying his pleasure. But it was difficult to say whether it was the win that pleased him – or the utterly comical, disbelieving facial expression of his opponent that pleased him.
The grey coyote's coffee-brown eyes gawked at the downturned White King. Then they gazed at Hamton. This was repeated several times over. The coyote's brain was obviously attempting to process the loss. Unfortunately, his ego was in distinct denial. Finally, his expression twisted into a defiant pout.
Upon the table, a book-sized device lay beside the Chessboard. The coyote snatched it up. His fingers tapped on it rapidly. He held up the device. A text message was clearly displayed on the device's TV screen. "Impossible!"
A chuckle rumbled in Hamton's throat. "Oh, come on, Calamity. I won fair and square," he chided.
Calamity abandoned his handheld interactive communicator in favor of a calculator. He tapped on it fiendishly. He was going to prove how the numbers didn't add up. But it wasn't coming out in his favor. His tapping became more and more feverish until – his finger slammed right through the calculator! It ignited a bright, but small, spark and promptly died. Thus, Calamity Coyote was left with a finger as sore as his ego.
The rotund piglet leaned forward again. This time, Hamton's face was sterner. "Look, intellect alone doesn't always win a game. Y'know. Sometimes it takes strategic thinking, patience and a little willingness to try different techniques. Sometimes you just have to outwit your opponent subtly instead of just taking them head on,"
Calamity blinked. A smirk crossed his fuzzy lips. Picking up his HIC, he posted a new text message. "You've been hanging out with Plucky again. Haven't you."
The pig winced. An image of his moss-green feathered duck pal came to mind. He shuddered at the mere notion of some of the more recent escapades that Plucky had dragged him into. Images of pain and suffering at the hands of Plucky's maniacal schemes passed through Hamton's mind. Lastly, he remembered how most of those schemes ended with Plucky being put through the wringer of his own making. Hamton smiled at those thoughts.
"Ok, I yield," Calamity's HIC screen displayed. The coyote reached down and returned his mighty king to a standing position. With a quick text change, he asked, "Best 2 out of 3?"
"You're on!" grinned Hamton.
The boys wasted no time in resetting up the Chessboard. Once the board was ready, Hamton said, "Your move first, Cal."
He pretended not to notice the quick glare that the coyote gave him. Instead, Hamton just leaned back on his stool. Calamity's brow furrowed deeply as he studied the Chessboard. Hamton had a feeling that this was going to take awhile. So he let his mind and gaze wander.
Hamton wasn't really into the whole competitiveness of Chess. Despite Calamity acting on ego, he wasn't really all that competitive about the game either. The duo played Chess because it was their way of hanging out together.
The boys had Babs Bunny to thank for their friendship. Babs often hung around Hamton because he was very supportive of her show business dreams. She'd introduced Hamton to Calamity when she'd had the coyote build her a comedy enhancing machine. Instead of simply enhancing her comic personality, the machine outright freed the spirit of humor from Babs' rabbit body. Naturally the first thing the humorous hostless did was to run away. Hamton and Calamity had to team up to catch it.
Though it had been a hazardous, exhausting and a downright degrading adventure, the duo managed to get Babs' humor back where it belonged. After that, the boys found that they actually had quite a bit in common. For one thing, they both understood what it felt like to constantly be put upon by others. Calamity was used quite a bit for his inventive mind. Hamton tended to be taken advantage of for his gentle nature. It was nice to be around someone who understood what that felt like as well as the reasons why they kept putting up with such abusive behaviors.
As friends, the boys found that their obsessions actually complimented each other. Hamton always had a large stack of very clean snacks while Calamity supplied the means for keeping those snacks hot or cold as needed. Hamton had the patience for Calamity's sign language while Calamity appreciated Hamton's quiet nature. In fact, with Calamity around, Hamton actually felt more confidence in himself since he did the speaking for the duo. Hamton really appreciated Calamity's ability to have an ego without being cruel. Even if Calamity did lose a second game, he'd simply demand that they play again next week in order for him to reclaim his victory.
With Calamity still considering his first move, Hamton gazed around the park to pass the time.
It was a lovely mid-September day to spend in ACME Park. The days were still sunny and pleasant without being too hot. It was the nights that had begun to embrace the near-Autumn chill. Dry leaves still clung to their branches. Clusters of red, orange and yellow colors were starting to peek through the greens of the treetops. Throughout the park, the trees all looked like standing bouquets.
Several Chess tables were set up in this corner of the park. Most of them were in use. The other players were in various stages of their game. Some of them nodded in silent acknowledgement of Hamton as he glanced their way. Like Calamity and himself, these other players were here more for a social activity rather than any serious game play. Still, they kept their voices low in respect of those around them.
Hamton briefly watched a pair of elderly gentlemen as they played. The ancient lion clearly had the move as he concentrated on the Chessboard. Across from him, an old hippo occasionally exchanged banter with a calf beside him. Their similar features suggested some family relationship between them.
At another table, a chicken and his laptop computer faced off. A pile of Chess pieces around the laptop hinted at the chicken's not faring very well.
At a third table, the two players took their game far more solemnly than those around them. They sat in silence as they faced the Chessboard between them. On the left sat a large figure completely shrouded under a long hoof-black cloak. A snow-white bearish snout peeked through the hood's opening. The figure sat casually with its sleeve openings clasped together upon its lap. On the Chessboard's right side sat a careworn-looking hawk. His position matched his opponent's. Only his eyes expressed the importance of this match.
As Hamton's gaze returned to his own game, his eyes were drawn towards a small stain-like spot on the corner of the Chessboard. The stain quickly snaked its way across the Chessboard and game pieces. Soon it shrouded the entire area like a shady blanket. Even Calamity's intense concentration was broken as he was forced to take notice of the massive shadow.
The boys' eyes narrowed in mild irritation. Their gaze shifted in the direction in which the shadow came from. As he turned his head, Hamton opened his mouth to ask the shadow's owner to please move. Instead, his throat gurgled out a shocked gasp.
Before them stood the bane of their very lives! The very sight of that carrot-colored mop of hair was enough to send shivers down any toon's spine. Deer-brown eyes glared out from a pinched human face. Her garb of a watery blue shirt with puffy short sleeves and angel wing white skirt gave a sense of innocence about this creature. Only the skull on her watery blue hair bow revealed her false precocious nature. The boys shuddered as they faced the very monster child herself, Elmyra Duff.
So they did what any normal, self-preserving, toon would do. Their faces distorted wildly in a panic take as they screeched like terrified children. Instantly, they jumped up and ran in opposite directions from the Chessboard.
Calamity felt something clamp onto the scruff of his fuzzy neck and yank him backwards. Hamton experienced a similar sensation with the back of his overalls straps. The duo bumped into Elmyra's body and immediately felt her bear-hug grip.
Instead of her usual bubbly coos of love, the boys heard one stone-cold phrase, "I need your help, now!"
The boys stopped struggling. They looked into the face of their captor. Elmyra's normal lovey-doveyness was absent. An intensely serious-toned expression greeted their eyes. Her lips were pressed together tightly.
Elmyra clutched the boys securely under her arms. She sped off across the park at a nearly inhuman rate. The boys were far too stunned to protest as Elmyra raced towards her own home.
The front door barely slowed the trio down as they entered Elmyra's house. Even the stairwell seemed more like a flat rug as Elmyra dashed up them with amazing speed. She entered her bedroom. With a very quick motion, she deposited each boy into a wooden chair on either side of a matching round table. Then she sat down in a third chair to face the boys.
Seconds passed as the trio eyed each other. Dumbfounded was the best description for Calamity and Hamton's emotions at this point. They glanced at each other then back at Elmyra. She wasn't even out of breath! She'd just run eight miles carrying two boys who were each roughly half her size. Now she was simply sitting there as if she'd only walked from her bed to her chair.
Finally, Elmyra broke the silence. "What are you guys staring at? Do I have tooth paste on my nose again?" She plucked out a hand mirror and examined her pudgy nostrils.
"Uhmm, no," Hamton replied in a cautious tone. He let out an audible gulp. Then he stammered, "It's just that you…You…You just….How did you do that?"
Elmyra blinked and answered, "I just reached into my 'special toon space' pocket and pulled out a mirror. You guys can do that too."
Hamton cringed in frustration. Calamity went limp, allowing his face to hit the table.
Gathering his courage, the pig tried again. "No, I meant…How'd you manage to carry both of us and run the entire way here? You're not even tired from that. How did you get so fast and so strong?"
"Well, I," Elmyra paused a moment. Then she jumped onto the table, reached out and grabbed Hamton's overalls. She pulled him forward until his snout touched her nose.
She cried, "That's why I need your help! I'm in big, bad, icky trouble. And if you and the doggy don't help me, I'm going to turn into a ucky werewolfy and be all stinky and mean and do more really bad stuff!"
Now it was Hamton's turn to blink in confusion. "Say that again?" he asked.
Seeming to realize what she was doing, Elmyra let go of Hamton and backed off of the table. She sat down in her chair again. Letting out a long, heavy-hearted sigh, Elmyra started to speak. "I… Oh gosh! I'm a terrible hostess. Hang on. I'll be right back!"
Elmyra leapt from her chair and dashed out the door. Calamity and Hamton barely had time to wonder what was going on before Elmyra returned again. In her hands was a tray covered with tea items. Three frilly, dainty pink tea cups surrounded a large matching tea pot. Elmyra set the tray down on the table. Juice rather than tea was poured into each cup and handed to each boy. After pouring a cup for herself, Elmyra sat down once more.
Again, the room was silent as three toons eyed each other with confusion and unease.
"I thought you guys liked juice," Elmyra finally broke the silence.
Seeing that Hamton was hesitating, Calamity tapped a message into his HIC and held it up. "What in the *HECK* is going on here?"
"We're having tea," replied Elmyra matter-of-factly. The boys fell out of their chairs. Somehow, that seemed to trigger Elmyra's mind. She gasped. "Ooohh, you mean why did I bring you here. Well I… I know that you won't believe me but – I've been bitten by a wolfy-pup!"
Calamity slowly climbed back into his chair. Hamton stood up immediately. Sounding genuinely concerned, he advised, "Then you should go to the hospital so it doesn't get infected. If it was a stray puppy, then it could have rabies or something."
"Not a puppy-wuppy!" Elmyra snapped. "It was a WOLFY! A werewolfy bit me!"
"A were-wolfy…. A werewolf?"
Calamity's HIC made a "ping" to get both Elmyra and Hamton's attention. He was holding the screen up for them to read. "Silly child, werewolves don't exist."
Hamton nodded in agreement. "Yeah, what he, um, typed. Werewolves are just fictitious movie characters created to scar – I mean scare – little kids." The pig started towards Elmyra, intending to pat her on the shoulder. "I'm sure it was just a large dog and – "
As Hamton reached out to pat Elmyra's shoulder, her hand shot up and gripped his wrist tightly. But this wasn't Elmyra's normal human hand. This hand was very large and covered in carrot-orange fur! It was also very canine shaped complete with talon sized claws.
"Ohhh!" Hamton gasped as his eyes widened. His entire body shuddered as Elmyra stood up. Her angry expression was made all the more terrifying by her rapidly morphing features. The scowl on her lips curled into a sharp-toothed snarl as her snout grew into a wolf's muzzle. Wolf's ears sprouted up on either side of her hair bow. Carrot colored fur overtook Elmyra's human skin. Her entire body twisted and grew into a huge wolf form. A tail swung out of the backside of Elmyra's skirt. The entire process only took a few seconds. But it left Hamton and Calamity as paralyzed as deer in a car's head lights.
The voice that spoke from this creature was filled with a growling rage. "A puppy bite? A puppy bite?! Does this look like the work of a cuddly, snuggly, precious, adorable puppy-head to you? "
The Elmyra wolf leaned towards Hamton. As the beast's less than fresh breath puffed into Hamton's face, the pig had all that he could do not to wet himself. The Elmyra wolf continued, "I've been run away from, avoided, lied to, thrown out, had things dropped on me and been left all alone. Now I finally come to you two for help and you're accusing me of being a liar?"
By now, Elmyra and Hamton were close enough to nearly touch noses. She breathed heavily into his face. The pig shivered uncontrollably. He let out a small gulp. Slowly and shakily he held up his free hand. In a tiny voice he offered, "B-b-b- Breath mint?"
The Elmyra wolf glanced at Hamton's open hoof. A small, round candy sat squarely in his palm. Elmyra's eyes lit up with childish glee. "Oooh! Thank you!" she said.
She popped the mint into her mouth and chewed it noisily. Elmyra turned away, releasing Hamton's wrist. He fell to the floor and quickly crawled backwards. Once his hooves found the chair, he pulled himself up into it and just sat there. He watched as Elmyra reverted back to her normal human form. When Elmyra turned around to face the boys again, she was her old, perky self.
"Do you believe me now?"
Both boys instantly nodded even as their shock remained evident on their faces.
"Good," Elmyra let out a little chuckle as she sat down.
No one spoke for a long while. Occasionally, Elmyra sipped some of her juice. Her eyes remained focused on her cup. Eventually, Calamity and Hamton took a chance on trying the juice before them. Thankfully, it was indeed fruit flavored liquid refreshment and not one of Elmyra's usual mud-laden tricks.
"And.. Here I am," Elmyra finally uttered with a heavy sigh. The boys glanced at each other, neither really knowing how to respond. Elmyra lurched forward and slammed her hands on the table. "You guys HAVE TO help me!"
Hamton and Calamity winced. This was a pretty serious issue no matter how one looked at it. Still, this was Elmyra that they were dealing with. Although their faces were calm, their minds were filled with the terror of their surroundings. How many times had each of them been held captive in this very room? How many times had they been tied to these very same chairs and forced into the abusively girlish games of "Mommy Elmyra".
The young pig clasped his hands around the teacup in front of him and starred into it thoughtfully. Across the table, Calamity sipped his juice.
Elmyra held up the teapot. "More tea-juice?" she offered. Calamity's face clearly expressed a hurried 'No, thanks!'
Returning his focus to Elmyra, Hamton queried, "So, why come to us? This sounds more like something Buster and Babs would handle."
The red head shook her head, sadly. "The bunnie-wunnies wouldn't believe me. They ran away. Everywhere I looked; there was just a bunch of yucky old furry people. No fuzzy, loveable hippity-hops anywhere!"
"How about Plucky?"
"Green Duckikins told me that I should stick to 'chick flicks' and leave horror fantasies to the prof-pruf-pre…Per-fess-nals." Elmyra momentarily beamed at her ability to get through the word. However, depression quickly returned. "They've banned me from the petting zoo, the farmer's markets and the pounds. You wouldn't believe how waaaaaaaaaaayyyyy out there I had to go to find chickies."
*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*
A bus stopped along a dusty country road. Elmyra stepped onto the gravely roadside. She barely noticed as the bus motor revved up and sped away. Her gaze passed to her left, then to her right. The view was the same all around her. Signs of being smack dab in the middle of farm country loomed everywhere. Silos dotted the landscape like Starbucks. The sweet and sour smells of crops and cattle filled Elmyra's senses.
"OOOohhhhhh! Cowie pies!" she chortled, hugging herself with girlish glee. She began to feel her love-bug syndrome kicking in and wanted nothing more then to snuggle the herds to utter bitsy-witsies. Remembering the real reason that she was there, Elmyra shook her head and gave it a mighty slap. "Ow! No, no – Gotta focus! Have to focus or I might change again."
She took a few deep breaths to calm herself down. As she did, her ears picked up the sounds of hooves trotting along the gravel road. More importantly, there was the sound of wheels following it. Oh! This would be her chance to meet one of those quaint, adorable local farmers. Elmyra spent a few seconds making herself look extra adorable in hopes that the farmer might be more willing to help her. She struck a pose and put on her best 'little princess' smile.
About five minutes later, her smile was starting to frazzle. Where was this farmer? She knew she'd heard the horse and wagon coming. No matter which way she turned, only random silos extending from the scenic grasses were all that she could see. What was going on?
Elmyra's eyes turned skyward as the unmistakable roaring buzz of a plane caught her ears. Through the clear, chalky-blue skies, a small plane flew into view. Elmyra waved up at the plane. It grew larger and larger as it zoomed towards Elmyra. She casually stood her ground as she watched in fascination. The plane swooped low but passed harmlessly over her head. It made a few attempts to zigzag. But its course seemed to be set. With a resounding CRASH, the plane collided with a silo. A large fireball explosion enveloped them both. Shrapnel showered the field around the former silo. Like so many things, the corn stalks simply allowed it all to quickly disappear within their high crop lines.
No sooner had the mess disappeared then a rumbling sound shook the ground. Within seconds, a silo rose up to take its predecessor's place. Elmyra could only blink in wonderment of what she'd just seen.
Once again, the sounds of hooves and wheels drew Elmyra's attention back to the road. Slowly it made its way into view. A milk-white Standardbred horse with splashes of chestnut all over it pottered along the road. Elmyra mustered all of her strength to keep herself calm. If she lost control now, that cutsey-wutsey, precious, pretty pony might not survive a Weremyra hug.
Hitched to the horse was a drab gray wagon. The hairy man sitting upon it looked just as gray. Even his gray suit and wide brimmed hat lacked any life luster. His dull stare didn't really change much as he noticed the girl child standing beside the bus stop. As he drew near, Elmyra waved to him. The man nodded his head politely as the wagon passed by her.
Elmyra's jaw almost hit the dirt. The farmer didn't even stop! She dashed after the wagon. Somehow, she had no problem in keeping up with the Standardbred's trotting speed.
"Hey, hey, mister!" she called out as she jogged alongside the wagon.
The farmer barely seemed to notice. "Sorry, missy. We don't pick up hitchers 'round here.".
"But, I don't want a hitchy," Elmyra protested. "I just want to know if you know where I can find some chicks."
"Chicks?" responded the farmer. He considered that one for a few seconds. "Well now…I seem to recall brother Gibbous hatching a decent sized brood a few days ago. Gonna be a few weeks afore they're ready to go though."
Again, Elmyra flashed one of her smiles. Unfortunately, her teeth were starting to transform from cute to canine. The farmer appeared to cringe a bit. He gave the Standardbred's reins a bit of a nudge and the horse picked up a bit of speed. Somehow, Elmyra was still just striding alongside the wagon.
"Where can I find Mr. Gibbous?" she asked.
Clearly the farmer was getting agitated by Elmyra's persistence. He directed his thumb over his shoulder. "Back that way about four silos 'n take a left at the road fork. You'll see a sign; 'Gibbous' Chickens'. Can't miss it," he growled. This time, he really pulled on the Standardbred's reins. It galloped away fast enough to leave Elmyra in a dust cloud.
*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*
Not even Guinness, itself, could produce a hand large enough for the facepalm expression on Calamity and Hamton's faces.
"Ya-yo…You went out and tossed baby chickens?" Hamton stammered.
Elmyra bowed her head, a deep rosey blush colored her cheeks. "Well, only a couple. Their mommy kept pecking me. And the mean farmer chased me all the way back to town with a pitchfork. Chick flicking didn't work either. That dumb ducky!"
Calamity quickly tapped a few keys on his HIC. He held it up for Hamton and Elmyra. A standard model picture of Montana Max was on the screen.
"Oh, good idea, Calamity!" exclaimed Hamton. "What about Monty? He is your boyfriend after all."
A deep frown crossed Elmyra's lips as she shook her head negatively.
"Monty-wonty was even worse," she replied. "He gave me lots of exciting cuddly fun things to do. He even brought lots of people over to meet me. It was so much fun! But then I changed into the wolfy-puppy. We were playing lots of games like chase and hide and seek and tag. But then, my money-honey got really mad at me. He didn't wanna play any more. He said it was cuz I broke his house and cost him millions more than I was worth. So he made me leave. Usually he just ships me to Brazil when we're done playing. But this time, he just made me leave on my own. Monty never gets that mad at me. As adorably preci-wecious as my wolfy self is, it's wrecking my life!"
Calamity erased the Max photo and placed some text on his HIC screen. "Well, that explains why Monty just hired ACME-Pro/Con-Struction."
"There must be SOMEONE else," Hamton said as he tapped his chin with his hoof-finger. "Have you tried Fifi and Shirley? Bookworm and Concorde? Sweetie and Sneezer? Dizzy and –"
His prattling ended as Elmyra latched onto his suspenders. She squished her nose into his snout again.
She yelled, "I've tried EVERYBODY that I can think of! You two are my ONLY and lastest hope! You've just GOTTA help me! Pllleeeeaaasseee! I'll even pay you…for REAL this time!" Elmyra added that last part hastily as she noticed Calamity's cynical snarl.
The lure of actual money was enough to get the coyote's attention. A symmetrical set of dollar sign irises signaled his agreedment to help Elmyra in her plight.
Hamton wasn't so easily swayed. He turned his face away from Elmyra and subtly tried to extract himself from her grasp. "Uhhh, money isn't everything," he whimpered.
"Oh," Elmyra released her grasp and turned away. Hamton immediately thudded on the floor. Returning to her chair, Elmyra slouched over in depression. She buried her face in her hands and began to sob. "Oh, (sob) now I'll have to (sob, sob) leave ACME Acres forever and ever. (Blubber) I'll never get to see (sniffle) my family or my friends (sob, sniffle) or my Montykins ever ever again. Waaaaahhhhhh!"
As Elmyra's wails continued, they became louder. Her voice was slowly taking on a growly tone as well. Even so, they were the cries of a little girl. Hamton's sense of chivalry just couldn't ignore a lady in distress – no matter who that lady was. He slowly got up and sighed as he dusted off the carpet lint. Feeling the pangs of Elmyra's sorrow, his heart gave in.
"I know I'm going to regret this," Hamton remarked. "But, ok, Elmyra. We'll help you cure this lycanthropy problem of yours."
Elmyra's face light up as she jumped to her feet again. Hamton and Calamity reeled in horror as her tear stained canine-esque face smiled at them. Before they could even scream, Elmyra had them in an air-tight embrace.
"Oh! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" she cried, squeezing them to near organ-bursting tightness. Her mind suddenly comprehended something and she loosened her grip. "Wait a minute…..I keep turning into a doggy not a lycon-lycan….Not a whatever you just said."
Hamton wheezed, "That's what I just said. (wheeze) a "doggy"."
"Oh! Ok then," Elmyra seemed satisfied with that answer. She fully released her grip on the boys. For a second time, their posteriors meet the carpet. Understandably, their rumps were beginning to resent such rough introductions.
Elmyra fell into her seat and clapped her paw-hands together. "So, what do we do first?"
The boys needed the assistance of the table to get back to their chairs. Once on his seat, Calamity, once again, turned to his HIC. Elmyra and Hamton waited patiently for him to post his text. When he didn't, Hamton was forced to ask.
"Uhh, Calamity? What are you doing?"
The coyote gave him an annoyed glance. After a few more keystrokes, he showed his companions his HIC screen. Displayed were the results of a web search for 'How to catch a werewolf'.
"Oh! I get it!" Hamton said, snapping his fingers. "In order to cure Elmyra, we have to catch the werewolf that bit her in the first place. Good thinking, Calamity."
The coyote smiled at the praise and returned to browsing his web search.
Meanwhile, Elmyra picked up her teapot only to realize that it was empty
"Aw, poo," she said. "I'll have to get us a refill."
She rose to her feet and started for the door. After two steps, she quickly turned back to the boys. "Um, you two aren't going to sneak out the window while I'm gone. Are you?"
Hamton and Calamity exchanged looks. They each raised their right hands in a 'being sworn in' manner.
"We said that we'd help you," Hamton stated. "And a Pig Scout never goes back on his word." Calamity chimed in with his dollar sign irises again.
Elmyra nodded her approval. As she left to refill her pot, the boys could see her semi-canine form melding back into a human girl's body.
*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*
Three figures slowly walked along the sidewalk of Quaterthird Avenue. Once they reached the corner curb, their exhaustion got the better of them.. Hamton's lungs wheezed and coughed in oxygen desperation as he fell onto the curb. Calamity and Elmyra drooped where they stood. Hamton's heart beat in his ears along with his chest. It took everything that he had just to sit on the curb instead of lying in the street.
Sherbet-orange rays of sunset crawled across the cityscape. Streetlamp timers switched their lights on. Within the hour, these small lights would be the city's main illumination through the night. Some of the shops along the avenue changed their signs to end their business day. Other businesses preferred to remain open to the nocturnal patrons. So their shop lights shined on.
A faint sound of tapping echoed in Hamton's ears just below his heart beat. An audio tone indicated that Calamity had a message ready to be seen on his HIC. Hamton slowly raised his head.
"Is this where it happened?" was the HIC's message.
Elmyra glanced around. As daylight faded, chilly blue shadows stretched out from every nook and crammy in the brickwork walls around the trio.
Finally, Elmyra nodded. "Yup! This is definitely the spot."
Hamton managed to gather enough air in his lungs to ask, "Are you sure this time?"
"Silly piggy-wiggy," Elmyra chortled. "Just because I was wrong 17 times already doesn't mean that I'm wrong this time too."
A deep, agonizing groan rumbled in Hamton's throat. Looking even more downtrodden, the pig murmured, "We've walked all over this city already. I can't take another "Oops, I goofed"."
Calamity's stern gaze expressed his agreement with Hamton.
"No, no! I'm sure this time!' Elmyra cried. Her eyes scanned the area. A glint of something caught her attention. She grabbed Hamton around his neck and dragged him over to the brick wall. Pointing at an indentation there, she exclaimed, "See? That's one of the bumps from when the werewolfy bit me."
Calamity examined the indentation closely. A few golden hairs had been left behind. Using a set of tweezers, Calamity picked up the hairs and placed them in a baggy. A few quick taps on his HIC gave the others an explanation. "I can analyze these hairs later at the Loo to determine their species."
"What's to determine?" Elmyra demanded. "I told you that a werewolfy bit me. How can you still not believe me?"
Realizing that the pig in her arm was turning a deathly blue, Elmyra dropped him. Hamton coughed and wheezed some more until his natural pink pig complexion returned. Now he finally had the air, and strength, needed to get a good look at the indentation on the wall for himself. Hamton rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Hrm, an indentation like that takes quite a slam. Elmyra, are you sure that a werewolf did this?"
Calamity nodded in agreement. Both boys faced Elmyra. Hamton cautiously asked, "Elmyra, is there something that you're not telling us about this whole thing?"
"What do you mean?" Elmyra asked.
"Indentations like this don't just make themselves," Hamton explained. "Are you sure this isn't just one of your "pet hunt" battles?"
Both Elmyra's eyes and mouth opened wide in shock and quickly crumpled into tears. She bawled, "I told you that a werewolfy really did bite me! I was on my way home. It bit me and ran away! It must have landed on the wall when I – I mean – when it let go." Her face started to get hairy as her emotions got the better of her. "Why are you making me out to be the bad girl?"
"Because you usually are."
"But I'm not bad this time!" she cried. As her tears fell, her face began to take on a more wolfish snout. Wolf ears began to pop up on either side of her bow. Elmyra's sobs became more growly as she wailed, "I'm the innocent one this time. I swear. And you guys said you'd help me but now you're blaming me! Waaaaahhhh!"
Once again, Hamton and Calamity felt the guilt of having made a little girl cry.
"Whoa, whoa!" Hamton held up his hooves in defense. "I'm sorry. I wasn't accusing you of anything. Please, calm down. Ok?"
This seemed to soothe Elmyra. She brightened up. As her tears faded, so did her wolfish features. She returned to looking like her human self again. She sniffled a few times. But otherwise, she seemed to be alright again.
Hamton sighed with relief. He turned to Calamity. "Ok, we've found the, erm, "battle zone". So now all we need to do is get the werewolf's scent and then follow that right to the werewolf's hiding spot. Right?"
Calamity nodded.
"Great! Did you bring that nasticular machine that you were working on?"
The coyote shook his head.
"Great! Wait, what? You didn't bring it? B-but why?" Hamton stammered.
His long coyote ears fell low as Calamity's face expressed his guilt and shame. His HIC only had one word to show: "Accident".
Calamity then changed the HIC to a video screen.
On the screen, the camera wiggled around for a few seconds before finally settling into focus. There were a few bushes just behind a sidewalk path on the screen. Calamity stepped into the frame. He smiled professionally as he faced the camera. He held up an odd mechanical device.
A large, human-shaped nose sat atop a metallic gray box. The two were connected by a veritable mass of springs and wires. Despite this invention being roughly the size of his own head, Calamity managed to balance it in his right hand. With his left hand, the coyote held up an arrow-shaped sign which pointed at the invention. The sign read, "Nastrackulator 5000".
A few seconds passed as Calamity gave the viewer time to read the sign. Then he flipped it over to reveal the words, "Test trial #1".
Again, Calamity allowed the camera to have a few seconds to read this sign. Suddenly, some voices off-camera caught his attention. He looked to the screen's left. Apparently seeing something, Calamity ducked into the bushes to hide.
Three young ladies known to most of their peers as "The Amazing Three" walked into the camera's frame. If they had seen Calamity duck into the bushes, they made no mention of it. Babs Bunny, Shirley the Loon and Fifi LaFume chatted amongst themselves as they walked past the bushes and out of frame. As Fifi left the frame, a set of clamps attached to a long spring darted out of the bushes. The clamps snatched Fifi's ear bow and quickly disappeared back into the bushes. Fifi didn't seem to notice the theft as she walked away.
Once the girls were gone, Calamity stepped out of the bushes with the clamps and ear bow in hand. He pulled out the Nastrackulator and set it on the ground. One quick flip of a switch set the machine in motion. It stirred and beeped a few times signaling its readiness for usage. Calamity put Fifi's ear bow under the nostrils. The nose breathed in deeply and coughed a few times in disgust. Some of the wires and springs vibrated as the bow's scent was analyzed. Once it was ready, the machine emitted an audible "Ping".
Calamity picked up the Nostrackulator. It immediately dragged him in the same direction which the girls had gone. Somehow, the camera managed to follow along.
Calamity was helplessly dragged along as the Nostrackulator flew through the air in pursuit of the scent's source. A tracking beacon beeped faster and faster as the scent's source drew near.
It only took a few seconds for the Nostrackulator to catch up with the girls. It slammed right into Fifi's tail along with Calamity. Both were thrown to the ground while the tracking beacon beeped frantically. Fifi somehow managed to stay on her feet even as a very surprised "Ooof!" escaped her. She and her friends turned around. Calamity's body laid at their feet with his face plunked into the dirt.
Fifi opened her mouth to speak. A shrill screech from the Nostrackulator silenced her. The beacon screamed in sensory overload. Vibrating tremors contorted the machine into a wild take. Electricity sparked from one of the wires. The spark rippled through the entire machine. The girls dropped to the ground and braced for the impending explosion. Their wait wasn't long. With a loud BOOM, the Nostrackulator shattered into a smoking mass of pieces all over Calamity. The smoke morphed into the word "SKUNK!" before it faded away.
Slowly the girls stood up. They glared at the part-covered coyote as they dusted themselves off.
"Like, mondo rude, Calamity!" Shirley scolded.
"Yeah, what gives?" Babs snapped.
At this point, Fifi noticed her missing ear bow. She started looking around frantically. "Mon bow! Where eez mon bow? Ah am zee nudist without eet!"
By this time, Calamity was also on his feet. He chuckled sheepishly as he held up Fifi's ear bow. The skunkette's eyes narrowed as she snatched her bow back. "Vous, vous etes une CREPE!"
"You mean "creep"," Babs corrected.
"Oui! Zat eez what Ah said!" snapped Fifi. Her fur puffed up as she turned around and stormed off. Shirley and Babs glared at Calamity. Then they followed Fifi.
Calamity stared at his mass of parts on the ground. As his gaze rose up to meet the camera, he held up a sign.
"Experiment #1: complete failure."
The video ended and faded to a typical TV black. The screen reflected Hamton and Elmyra's bemused faces.
"Couldn't you just fix it?" asked Elmyra.
The coyote shook his head.
Hamton slumped back down onto the pavement. "Now how are we going to find that werewolf?"
Elmyra's eyes brightened as an idea came to her. "Hey, I know! Who needs a fake good nose when we have a great real one?" She poked Calamity in his nose. "Doggies have great noses. You can sniff the wolfy out for us!"
Again, Calamity shook his head. His annoyance was visible on his face as he tapped out a message on his HIC. Finally, he held it up. "Dangit, Elmyra! I'm a scientist, an inventor and a genius – NOT a search dog!"
"Awwww, poo," Elmyra's features drooped into sadness again. Just as quickly, she perked up a second time. Pointing at Hamton, Elmyra said, "Ooh, I know! Piggies are used to sniff out truffles. So you can sniff out wolfies too! Right?"
"Aheh," Hamton's face brightened into a deep cherry-red color. He shook his head quickly. "That was an experience that I don't want to talk about. Let's just say that I'm not a search dog either."
The trio heaved a collective sigh. Calamity and Elmyra joined Hamton in sitting on the pavement.
Then an idea perked Calamity up. He tapped out a message and held it up for the others. "Elmyra can do it!"
"I can do what?" asked Elmyra.
Another message was tapped out. "Wolves also have good noses."
Elmyra hurriedly shook her head. Hamton frowned. He said, "I don't think that's a good idea, Calamity."
Elmyra added, "My wolfy self gets really mean and bad. I don't wanna be a bad girly-wolf."
Another message was tapped into the HIC. "We need to find the werewolf that bit you. Your werewolf nose is the only way."
Elmyra thought it over for a moment. Then she replied, "Only if you promise that you won't let me be a bad wolfy,"
Calamity motioned a 'cross-my-heart' on his chest. Hamton leaned towards Calamity and whispered, "Are you sure about this? Werewolves are pretty vicious in the movies."
"Trust me!" was Calamity's tapped out reply.
With their purpose renewed, the trio stood up.
"Ok, um, "Werewolf up"!" Hamton coaxed.
Elmyra giggled. "Silly piggy-wiggy! I can't just change with words like a magical girly-head. I only change when I'm excited, scared or mad."
"Oh… so we have to do something to get you excited, scared or mad? Oh boy," Hamton shuddered.
Calamity stretched his paws out like groping claws. His face turned mean as he growled at Elmyra. His effort was rewarded by giggles from both Elmyra and Hamton. The pig did try to hide his chuckle to be polite.
An upset coyote crossed his arms and faced away from his companions. So it was Hamton's turn. He gulped.
"Uh, um, Elmyra?" Hamton tried to think mean thoughts as Elmyra smiled at him. "You, uh… Your hair is like carrot-topped spaghetti."
"Hee hee hee!" she giggled.
The pig tried again. "Um, and your nose is a pudgy meatball!"
This only made her giggle more. "I'm a meatball and carrot spaghetti-head. Hee hee hee!"
Suddenly, Elmyra froze. Her face twisted into a snarl. "You!" she hissed. Her stubby finger pointed across the street. The boys snapped their heads in the direction that Elmyra pointed. Directly across from them, a bewildered figure stared back. There was no denying the recognition of those green feathers; that distinctive orange bill and his meager white t-shirt apparel. Plucky Duck blinked at the odd trio. His beak continued to slurp from the cup in his hand.
"You told me chick flicking would work! You lied to me!" Elmyra's harsh voice growled as she stomped towards the duck. "I even bought a bus ticket cuz I believed you. Have you ever taken a bus out to farm country? It's an icky ride!"
Plucky slowly backed up to the wooden fence behind him. His eyes widened as he saw the impossible. Before him, this human girl was transforming into a hideous beast – a very angry beast at that!
Elmyra stormed across the street as she spoke. Now, as she reached the curb, the full werewolf kicked in and her rage came out. "You… you… You big DUMB DUCKY!"
Plucky's beaky lips uttered a small, "Yipe!" In one motion, he dropped his drink and sped down the sidewalk. Elmyra chased after him. Her human gape transferred to a canine run as wolf-like instincts took over.
"Come back here so mommy can spank your lying, naughty tooshie!"
For a moment, Calamity and Hamton seemed paralyzed. Granted, they'd seen Elmyra get excited or upset before. This was the first time they had ever seen her well and truly angry at anyone. At this point, she might literally tear Plucky apart!
Calamity finally regained his composure. He sighed heavily as he raised his paw to his temple. Then he grabbed Hamton's arm and dragged him along in pursuit of Elmyra.
Plucky dashed down Quarterthird Avenue and raced up Timberside. He crossed streets against their lights. He hopped across car hoods. He even crossed a railroad trestle just as the crossing lights started flashing. He thought he'd won a small reprieve as the train roared past on the track behind him. He gasped and panted miserably as he watched the train pass by. Suddenly, something leaped straight over the train. It landed right in front of him. The snarling beast lunged at him. "You're taking your spankings. Like it or not!"
"YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAHHHHHHH!" screamed the mallard. He narrowly dodged Elmyra's clutches and ran for his life. She followed closely.
Meanwhile, Elmyra's companions were completely lost and out of breath. Marathon running was not part of their daily activities. They nearly collapsed on a street corner as they tried to catch their breath.
Wiping sweat from his brow, Hamton wondered aloud, "How (pant, wheeze) are we (pant, pant) supposed to find them (wheeze) now?"
Plucky's terrified shriek answered that question. Calamity's ears perked up. His face turned to follow the sound along with the rest of his body. He and Hamton raced up the street in hopes of intercepting Plucky and Elmyra.
The boys finally caught sight of Plucky as he ran towards a large crowd. The crowd was gathered in front of a garishly decorated building. Tonight was the yearly grand opening of the haunted house attraction 'Midnight Scream'. Being one of the finest spooky attractions in Acme Acres, it always packed in the chill seekers right from the first night.
Hiding more than haunting was on Plucky's mind as he ran towards the lineup. People were pushed this way and that as he wound his way through the crowd. A ghoul that stood at the head of the line accepting tickets was knocked over as the duck zoomed through the doorway.
A murderous growl was all it took for the crowd to willingly move aside for Elmyra to pass through. She leapt over the ticket ghoul and let her nose do the searching for Plucky.
By the time the ticket ghoul had gotten to her feet, Hamton and Calamity arrived. She planted herself firmly in their way. "No one gets in without buying a ticket."
Calamity frantically pointed in the direction that Elmyra had gone. His eyes pleaded for the ticket ghoul to let Hamton and him go in. Hamton voiced their plight. "Listen, you need to let us in! We've got to catch that werewolf and-"
"Oh, so those two are your friends?" snapped the ticket ghoul. "Fine, you owe me $8 each for them and for yourselves."
Calamity slapped his brow. Hamton protested, "Lady, we don't have time-"
"$8 each! This isn't a free show," the ticket ghoul said firmly.
Inside, Plucky let out another terror-rich scream. This was just enough distraction for Calamity to push past the ticket ghoul. Hamton followed without hesitation.
The pig called back, "Sorry! We'll come back later to pay."
Within a span of three minutes Midnight Scream truly lived up to its name. Crashing sounds rippled through the building accompanied by screams in a wide range of pitches. Customers and costume-laden creatures burst through each of the attraction's exits. Naturally, that kind of monster mob running towards them was more than enough to scatter the crowd outside. Amidst the crowd's melody of screeches, several people placed calls to the local police department.
Then rose the one sound to silence it all. The crowd's blood chilled in their veins. Strangers clutched each other tightly. Vocal chords froze in mid word. All action went dead still. One intense, shrill, ear-shattering scream resounded throughout the building and its surrounding blocks.
As the last echoes of that scream faded, three figures lurched out of an exit door. Elmyra had transformed back to her human self. Her weakened body slumped low. Hamton and Calamity walked on either side of Elmyra. Each held one of her arms around their shoulders as they did their best to support her. All three of them were stark white.
Hamton wheezed, "G-g-gosh, Cal. You sure that you're really as mute as we think you are?"
A small throaty gurgle was all the response that the shuddering coyote could muster.
"Gnomes… The gnomes…," Elmyra weakly squeaked.
The boys said nothing as they shakily helped Elmyra away from the building.
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