Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, I do owe my mind though.
Deadly Pact
~ Chapter One ~
"Do you think I've gained weight?" Kurt looked in the mirror in front of him as his boyfriend walked into the bedroom and laughed, "Oh, Kurt... you're always perfect to me."
"So, you think I'm fat?" The younger boy frowned and stared at his boyfriend, who rolled his eyes and shook his head – these were becoming regular conversations with his boyfriend now and he never knew what to say to calm him down.
"I might start going for runs, it'll help with my performing and everything, too." Kurt finally said, breaking the silence between the two as Blaine just nodded and kissed his cheek, "I'll join you sometime." He waved goodbye to him and closed the door behind him before heading home.
Kurt was left alone in his bedroom, looking back in the mirror and sighing. He wanted to be thin, but no matter what he just kept getting fatter. After two whole months of dieting he had only lost eight pounds, and all because he just couldn't go a day without. He'd get to the evening and suddenly all this food would be placed in front of him – the joys of living with his dad and Finn. Of course, he always got rid of it afterwards but it just wasn't the same.
Sighing, he dropped to the floor quickly and lay there for a minute before doing his usual three hundred sit ups. He was determined to lose a stone before regionals. He thought about it, it wouldn't be fair if he didn't lose this excess weight before then, he wanted everything to be perfect. He could do it, he had over a month left, he had to control himself.
"Hey diva." Rachel walked into his room, Finn not too far behind her. She smiled and sat down on a chair in the corner of the room, picking up a magazine that was on top of Kurt's drawers.
"What are you doing here?" She may be his best friend, and Finn was his step-brother but whenever they were here together, it was usually a make out session in Finn's new bedroom, and not here in Kurt's. "Studying.. remember? It was your idea." Finn sighed and took his books from Rachel's bag.
"We have exams coming up soon, so no sighing, Finn." Rachel didn't look up from the magazine as she spoke, smiling to herself. Finn and Kurt looked at their books, wondering where to start before Finn looked up at his girlfriend,
"Can you put the magazine down and just grab a book? We need your help with this stuff." She nodded slightly but carried on reading the magazine, "Give me a minute."
"Don't worry about the damn magazine, we're looking at this now." Finn glared at his girlfriend who just shook her head, seemingly unaware about how much she was pissing him off. He got up, trying to grab the magazine from her but she just slapped his hand away, smiling up at him as innocently as possible.
"Since when you have read those magazines anyway? I thought you said you wouldn't read them until you were in them, one day?" Kurt stared at the girl in front of him who just shrugged,
"Well, it must be interesting, she has her concentration face on." Finn grinned as he sat back down, looking up when Rachel tutted loudly from the other side of the room, "Grow up, Finn." She muttered, causing the laughter to stop quickly,
"Me? You're the one who's sitting there refusing to study just because you're looking at some magazine."
"And your point is?" He shook his head at her, "My point is that you're obsessed."
"With what exactly?" Kurt looked between the two, knowing they had their fair share of arguments but as Rachel's usually pale face turned a dark shade of red, and slammed down the magazine, he knew Finn had hit a nerve with the diva.
"With the way people look, the way you look. The only reason you even bother looking at those magazines is so you can see who is bigger than you, and then admire those smaller than you." Kurt sighed, standing up between the two,
"Can you not fight, please?" He frowned when both of them just ignored him,
"Don't think I haven't noticed you staring at every thin person we walk past, Rachel. You've been doing it for weeks."
"No I haven't! What the hell are you talking about?" Kurt looked at his best friend, the girls face getting redder and redder by the second, not knowing if it was embarrassment of being caught, or just anger that Finn had brought it up. Either way, he didn't want to find out.
"Is this even worth having an argument over? Can we just forget it and study?" He sat back down, not really wanting to bother with this argument right now and he knew what would happen anyway – one of them would storm off and the other one would be left behind to rant about the other one.
Rachel nodded slightly, looking up at her boyfriend, "Fine." He glared at her, clearly not able to drop the subject before grabbing the books and slamming the bedroom door behind him, muttering something about girls being annoying.
"Sorry." Rachel finally whispered after a few moments of silence, sitting back down and throwing the magazine across the room. Kurt rolled his eyes, wondering how the two of them could get so annoyed over a stupid argument like that. He turned to look at Rachel, who was still red and looked as though she could burst out crying any moment, "Are you alright?" He finally asked, watching the girl turn from him to wipe her eyes.
"Yeah, I'm fine.." She whispered softly, "Tell me, please." Kurt walked over to her, kneeling in front of her. He watched as Rachel took a deep breath, closing her eyes tightly, "Do you... do you think I'm fat?" She murmured, Kurt could feel his heart skip a few beats, wondering if Rachel thought the same way he did, wondering if she felt the same when she looked in the mirror, or when she bent over a toilet seat. Maybe Rachel felt this.
"No.. you're nowhere near fat." He frowned and took her hand, "This isn't like you, Rach, what's brought this on?"
"S-Shelby... She has Beth now, she's completely replaced me... she doesn't want me. I don't know what I did wrong." Kurt nodded and squeezed her hand,
"You never usually let stuff like this get to you.." Rachel nodded slightly, "She's my mom.. I want her to love me. She left me and now she has a perfect family that I can never be a part of." Kurt was shocked at the pain in the girls voice, he had never seen the usually happy Rachel like this before.
"You don't have to be thin though..." Kurt almost laughed at his hypocrisy, to him, being thin was everything. It was the difference between success and failure, the difference between making it to Broadway, and staying in Lima. But he couldn't tell anyone that, they'd think he was crazy.
"You don't understand, I don't know why it got to me so much.. I just want him to love me and at the moment he doesn't. She chose Quinn's baby over me and now she has a whole new life.. a new daughter. I've been completely replaced." She quickly wiped another tear from her face and looked at her fellow diva,
"I know, but Shelby does love you... I know she does." Rachel nodded slightly, smiling as best she could but Kurt couldn't help but feel it wasn't over. But the girl stood up anyway, "Let's just get studying." Kurt nodded and sat on the bed with the girl, watching her as she studied.
He wondered what she felt and what she thinking, he wondered if she ate and then threw up, he wondered if Rachel had ever gone a day without food... maybe more. He couldn't ask though, he would just sit and wait for any signs, then he could tell her about his own struggles. Maybe they could help each other.