Gonna chat for a secc here....

First off, sorry if all these Siobhan/Alex depression stories are getting a bit repetitive. I realized that and changed this one up a little.

They're just my way of venting and putting it all down on paper after Idol. I just put them up here for kicks. Don't like, don't read.

Thank youu .=DD

Life Is My Nightmare

The night after the Top 9. Which should have become a Top 8.

But it didn't.

The judges used the save on Michael Lynche. And once again, Siobhan went home feeling depressed and frustrated, not to mention already nervous for what the next week had in store.

She wasn't in the bottom three. Safe right off the bat, as always. But ever since her disastrous round during the Top 10, her confidence had only gotten lower. It became more and more nerve wracking to step out on that stage, knowing that no matter how good you think you did, the judges could always have another opinion. And rip you to shreds.

As happy as she was for Mike to be around for another week, it sadly only put more pressure on her to do well. Two people would be going home next week, even under the coaching of the intelligent Adam Lambert. That's twice as much of a chance Siobhan knew she could go home. And to make matters even worse, the save was gone. You don't get votes, you go home.

Siobhan was tired. Tired of it all. Part of her did want to go home, see her family. But another part wanted to stay and keep going. What she said after her performance was true. About her sisters. And the tears were genuine. She was thankful Kara knew that. It was the only reason why she was still here. What drove her to do her best every week.

Normally something kept Siobhan up every though she was exhausted. But that night, she had no problem falling asleep.
But what broke her heart was that Alex never came.

Every single time she had been feeling down about something, Alex had always come to her In a way to make her feel better. And this time, she didn't dream of him at all. Didn't see him anywhere. Nothing.

Even though still asleep, she began to panic. Was Alex going up on her as well? Did she have any friends at all? Was their no point in even existing anymore?

She jolted awake, and found herself in tears. Confused, frustrated, and worn out, Siobhan finally fell asleep again. She had never felt more alone in her life.