It's days like this that Stiles wishes Derek was still in town. Days when he feels like giving up because nothing is going right. Because everything that could go wrong is. Stiles is just tried. So fucking tired of putting up a fake front. Of smiling in class and smiling at the world. He tired emotionally and physically. He's tired of constantly being afraid of the dark. He's tired of not knowing if he'll ever see his dad again. He's so goddamn tired of being afraid of himself. Because its there. The darkness that Deaton said. And sure Allison and Scott are just peachy. Cause they're so freaking happy. But Stiles isn't. He just isn't happy. It isn't fair that everybody else can be happy except for him. And once again Stiles is tired. He's tired of being left out and being the last choice. But then Stiles gets mad. Because why the hell is this his life? What did he do that made him deserve this hell. And then Stiles gets sad because its his fault. It was his fault Scott was bitten that night. It was his fault. And Stiles is tired again because this-this darkness is keeping him up at night. On some rare occasions Stiles is happy. It's during those times Derek emails him just to find out what's going on in dear old Beacon Hills. That's when Stiles can smile and blabber on like he normally would. It doesn't matter that Derek only sends like 20 word replies back either. Because that makes Stiles happy and that means he can sleep that night. And then Scott gets mad. Because Stiles isn't the same. Because Stiles is silent and distant. Because he isn't Stiles anymore. But if Scott's mad then Stiles pissed. It took his best friend that long to notice something was wrong, but its a pattern. Soon Stiles is tired again because like always he's the last person on everyone's mind. So when he checks his email on the day that Derek is supposed to reply and there's nothing there. He just gives up. Because what's the point. He's tired of trying. Tired of living. And nobody notices when he leaves during lunch. He leaves his Jeep behind there's just no point is there? If the Jeep could it would probably leave Stiles too. Stiles doesn't leave a note. But Derek, Derek gets a call. And emails and texts. All saying the same thing "Stiles is gone". And then Derek gets mad. No not mad. He gets pissed. Because these people should have known! They should have known Stiles wasn't okay! They should have fucking noticed when Stiles left their goddamn lunch table. Derek finds Stiles. In the subway. Because apperently no one bothered to check there. And Stiles is sitting there. Looking at nothing. "It hurts you know? Knowing that nobody gives a shit about you" because the fucking darkness is eating him alive. He's numb. So numb. So then he says "I missed you. Did you miss me?" Derek hugs Stiles to him and cries. Because maybe if he hadn't of left Stiles would be Stiles. "I missed you" and then Stiles is happy again. Because Derek is back. And he did miss him too.