A/N: this ficlet was written to appease my conflicted Seddie/Spam heart - and to get out an idea that was rolling around in my head. It's pretty bittersweet.

"There are things that I miss that I shouldn't,

and things that I don't that I should.

Sometimes we want what we couldn't,

sometimes we love who we could."

-Lang Leav

"It's not the fire escape, that's for sure."

Sam jumped at the sudden voice that came from behind her. She recognized it instantly (it was familiar and distant all at once). Shifting her weight on her heels, she could hear the gravelly rooftop crunching underneath her boots. Taking a deep breath, she turned around.

"Freddie." It was more of a statement than a question. He looked her in the eyes, and she wasn't sure, but she thought that a quick look of disappointment crossed his face. Pushing her hands into her pockets, Sam sighed. "Why are you up here?"

The air was cold and Freddie could see her breath as she exhaled. His expression was now relatively blank.

"Because you're here," He scratched his chin, looking down at his shoes while he thought, "and I figured I could get a little face time before Spencer gets here." His expression didn't change, but Sam could hear it in his voice: the tiniest bit of anger had crept into his tone (if she hadn't known him so well, she could've easily missed it). Sam sucked in a breath and cursed to herself.

"How long have you known?" Sam said, looking sideways and avoiding Freddie's stare (it was more scrutinizing and obvious than anything he said aloud could ever be). Freddie ran a hand through his hair, feeling the wetness caused from the light misting in the air. The strands stuck to his fingers.

"I've had my suspicions for a while now," Freddie started, planting his feet on the ground, "and Spencer left his phone on the coffee table."

"I keep telling him to put a pass-code on that damn thing." Sam said, trying to force a laugh. Freddie folded his arms awkwardly. He saw the expression on her face and looked away from her, looking out at the lights coming from the city below. He squinted at the brightness, but didn't turn away.

"Don't worry, I won't tell Carly." He said, still not wanting to look her in the eyes. She hadn't been particularly worried about who he would tell (he had always been too nice and too respectful to reveal her secrets). She took it anyway.

"We'll tell her eventually." She started moving closer to him, her hands pushed even further into her pockets. "We're just... really happy with how things are right now."

Freddie nodded as he looked up, realizing that Sam was only a few feet away from him now. At that moment, it was infinitely clear to him that no matter how many fists or stinging words she had thrown, nothing could ever hurt him like her beauty could. (And, man did it hurt to realize that her beauty wasn't his to touch anymore.) He looked around, avoiding meeting her gaze.

"It's quite the spot you guys have up here." He said, scanning the rooftop. She nodded, not sure what to say. What else was there left to say? "I guess I should figure out how to be over you, shouldn't I?" He tried to joke, and his laugh almost sounded believable. Almost.

"Probably." Sam said, trying to match his (almost) casual words. She contemplated for a moment and then looked him in the eye. "I love him, Freddie."

She could see it: the sadness that filled his eyes. She tried not to, she really did, but it was too obvious. (He had always been an open book.) She had loved him once before, too, but it seemed like a lifetime ago (at this point, it could've been). He nodded and reached out a hand, gently touching her cheek.

"He's the luckiest guy in the world, you know." He whispered as Sam closed her eyes, turning her face into his hand. He smelled like peppermint and aftershave: an almost comforting smell with it's familiarity. And then it was gone, only a warmer spot on her cheek left as proof that he had been there. She looked up, seeing him walking away, the tar rooftop crunching underneath his feet. (The sound echoed in her ears, but at the same time, it was barely a whisper.) She was silent as she looked away from the retreating figure, gazing up at the stars. Sam released a breath when the metal door clicked as it closed behind him.

A few minutes later, she felt a hand intertwine with hers.

"What's on your mind?" Spencer said, watching as she stared at the sky, small droplets of water forming on her red cheeks. She looked sideways at him without moving her head.

"Nothing." She smiled lightly. "Just thinking about closure." Spencer raised an eyebrow at her.

"Closure?" He asked, putting a hand around her waist, but still keeping his distance. She nodded and mirrored the action, turning her body to him.

"Mhmm." She pulled him closer before raising herself up on her toes, stealing a chaste kiss. She didn't elaborate, but let out a relieved sigh and turned back to the stars, watching as they blinked in and out from behind the clouds. Spencer only watched her, a sense of contentment washing over him as she leaned into his side. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and joined her in taking in the view.

"We have quite a spot here." Spencer said. He kissed the top of her head and Sam smiled, lacing her fingers into his. She couldn't help but think that even though his hands were rough, his touch was soft.

"Yeah," she said, "we do."

And that's it! R&R!