A/N: I'm not a massive fan of Phoenix/Edgeworth in general, but I wrote this story for mathematicprincess as part of an art/fanfiction trade (she's an amazing artist). I've tried to keep them in character as far as possible...;;
For the record, I'm open to constructive criticism and I don't mind if you tell me something brutally honest concerning my creative writing.
Crushes, Conjecture and Candyfloss
"A funfair."
Ominous pause.
"You dragged me to a funfair."
Miles Edgeworth slammed his teeth together as hard as was humanly possible and ground them several times to stop himself from shouting a more offensive choice of words in Larry's face.
The object of his intense irritation lifted two thumbs in the air, plastering a semi-pleading, semi-smug grin all over his grubby little face. Behind him, a sight even more repulsive to the eyes of Miles Edgeworth lay sprawled out over the damp grass: a motley collection of gaudy, flickering lights, bright colours, the disgusting smell of fried food and, of course, several of those annoying spectacles Larry was so fond of calling 'rides'.
"C'mon, Edgey!" he whined, kicking the heel of his shoe into the mud-splattered ground and thrusting his fists back into his pockets. "You and Phoenix promised. You guys said you'd come to my birthday party."
"Watch out!" exclaimed Phoenix, snatching Miles' fist in mid-air and guiding it carefully away from where it had been about to make painful contact with Larry's face.
"Wright, get your hands off me," snarled Miles, pushing his friend ferociously out of the way. Larry made a smug face and retreated to a safer distance, several paces away from his irate friend.
"The idiotic contradictions in your train wreck of a whining statement are numerous enough to lose count of," he managed to spit through gritted teeth. "Firstly, you informed me this morning that we were, in fact, being taken to the science museum by your parents. Secondly, two people hardly constitute a birthday party and finally, how dare you drag me all the way to this pathetic, sprawling collection of human garbage and force me to listen to nonsensical pieces of conjecture!"
"Edgeworth, chill," said Phoenix, stepping between them and twisting his mouth in a contorted grin to keep himself from sniggering. Miles was breathing menacingly and looked in danger of making another swipe at Larry's face despite the fact that Phoenix was trying to hold them both at arm's length. "Larry, just what is going through your head?"
"Well, he wouldn't have come if I hadn't have lied to him," whined Larry by way of response. Miles thought about correcting his grammar, but promptly squashed the thought as he saw exasperation beginning to creep onto Phoenix's face.
"Just...don't talk to me..." he snarled, "...all...day."
"Are we finally sorted out?" said Phoenix, employing the voice normally used on two toddlers who had just finished a dispute over some kind of childish issue. With a last, final glower at each other, both Miles and Larry nodded reluctantly. Phoenix heaved a sigh, shrugged nonchalantly and gave Miles a sympathetic pat on the shoulder as if to say, Hang in there.
"OK, you guys, what're we gonna go on first?" Larry was all smiles and was bouncing round his friends in circles as his eyes flashed greedily from one funfair attraction to the next. "C'mon, I managed to nick some money from my mum's purse. We could sample-"
"Um...Edgeworth? Edgeworth? Hello?" Phoenix waved a hand in front of his friend's eyes which seemed to be concentrating hard on something in the vicinity. "Larry was just saying that-"
"What's that substance?"
"Huh?" Phoenix gave his eyes a rub. Larry folded his arms and huffed behind the two of them as Phoenix located the object of Miles' focus; a candyfloss stand. "You mean..."
"Of course I mean that, Wright. What on earth is that flimsy-looking pink fluff?"
"Oh, that? That's just candyfloss." Phoenix tilted his head slightly as a new thought planted itself in his mind. "But didn't you know that already?"
"Candy-...what? No, of course I didn't." Miles folded his arms and issued his friend with an accusing stare. "Would you grace me with an explanation?"
Larry dropped his arms and shuffled forwards so that he was in line with the other two members of his 'birthday party'. Both his eyes and Phoenix's eyes were beginning to widen in surprise.
"Have you really never had candyfloss before?" Phoenix's voice seemed to have dropped a few decibel levels and was laden with astonishment. "I mean...never? Never ever? Not even once?"
Miles shook his head. Larry thrust a couple of coins under Phoenix's nose and started up another round of high-pitched chatter.
"C'mon, Nick! We have to buy him some! We just have to!"
"Yeah!" Phoenix's face lit up with delight as he grabbed Miles' wrist and began to drag him towards the stand, the money rattling in his other fist, which was being waved excitedly in the air. Miles felt a peculiar twinge as he stared at the boy's illuminated face and the skin around his wrist seemed to grow warmer under Phoenix's grip.
Just one taste...it couldn't hurt...
"Alright, here!" Larry's grin had spread wide enough to reach both his ears, and, had Miles been paying attention to him rather than Wright, he would have noticed a slightly evil-looking presence lurking at the back of his glittering eyes. As it was, he cautiously fastened both his hands round the card stick on which the pink candyfloss was perched, and lowered his face until his mouth was nearly close enough to touch the fluffy, sticky mess.
Alright...'candyfloss'...here goes...
"AAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!"
Miles jerked his head up, spluttering madly and spitting pieces of candyfloss out of his sticky mouth. At the last second, Larry had managed to push the end of the stick upwards, thrusting the substance directly into Miles' face. The result being that his friend now had candyfloss plastered across his entire chin, mouth, cheeks and nose.
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?"
Phoenix reached out, and gingerly prised the candyfloss from his irate friend's grasp, slipping it discreetly into the nearest bin. Larry had burst out laughing and was now being pursued across the fairground by a furious Miles, who, unfortunately for him, was still covered by a sticky candyfloss mask.
"LARRY BUTZ, I ORDER YOU TO GET BACK HERE THIS SECOND! HOW DARE YOU DESECRATE MY FACE WITH THAT INFERNAL PINK NONENTITY-"
"Dammit, Wright, let go!" Miles writhed in the restraining grip of his friend, twisting his body furiously this way and that in an attempt to resume his pursuit. Phoenix responded by snaking his arms around Miles' upper body and holding him there with every ounce of his strength until the smaller boy had no choice but to drop his struggle and sink wearily against Phoenix's hold.
"When I...catch up...with that little...jerk..." Miles was spitting out curses along with the remnants of the candyfloss in his mouth when he noticed, with an electrifying jolt, that Phoenix's hand had moved to his face and was rubbing it in a methodical pattern.
"Just what do you think you are doing?" Miles wrested himself from the boy's grasp and shoved both Phoenix's hands away from himself. Phoenix pouted.
"I was only trying to wipe that candyfloss off your face. But, you moved, so it's gone all over your bangs..."
"Oh." For some reason, Miles felt slightly stupid. His paranoia had jumped in as soon as Wright's hand had touched his face and managed to convince him that the boy's intentions had been...oh, never mind. Let him have his way.
"OK...that's a bit better..."
For some reason, he had only just become aware of his drumming heartbeat, trembling hands and the warm feeling that was spreading slowly across his face as Wright gingerly managed to pick the remainder of the candyfloss off. Obviously, the chase with Larry had affected Miles more than he had realised.
...it's just bad fitness...my pulse is only going faster because I sprinted...
"Happy?"
Phoenix stepped back and scrutinised Miles' face, which was flushing an even deeper shade of scarlet under his gaze.
...I'm just red...and my hands are shaking...because I'm angry...
"I...I...I...um...thank you..." Miles trailed off feeling like a complete imbecile, and furiously began to twist separate strands of his bangs between two fingers while he waited for Phoenix to break the silence. The boy appeared to be thinking hard, and surprised Miles when he suddenly looked up and gave a little exclamation of delight.
"Look, Edgeworth, a ferris wheel! How about-"
"How about no." Edgeworth immediately folded both arms tightly across his chest and hit Wright squarely in the face with an intensely stubborn glare. "No, Wright. Absolutely not."
"Why not?" Phoenix appeared slightly crestfallen. Miles took hold of the last dregs of pity lurking in his heart and firmly quashed them.
"I don't like ferris wheels."
"You'll like this one."
"That's a baseless conjecture."
"A what?" Phoenix's eyebrows promptly shot up his forehead.
"A conjecture..." began Miles, stalling for time, "is by definition a statement which may or may not be true, but is neither confirmed nor denied by any evidence or supporting facts..."
"But...this ferris wheel is special!" Phoenix's eyes began to widen, and, had he clasped his hands together, he would have distinctly resembled some sort of angelic statue. "It's specially designed to take you really, really high...I forget the exact height...but...oh, Edgeworth, please?"
It's specially designed to take you really, really high...
"I..."
Phoenix tilted his head so that Miles received the full impact of his puppy-dog, pleading eyes and upturned lower lip.
I don't like ferris wheels...and I'm not good with heights...
"Alright." Miles collapsed under his gaze, and felt his cheeks fire up with another wave of strange embarrassment as Wright's whole face lit up like the gaudy illuminations adorning the wretched ferris wheel.
But if it makes him happy...
"Whooo!" Phoenix kicked his feet against the metal box and fidgeted excitedly as the wheel moved, beginning the car's slow ascent. Miles said nothing, and gripped the seatbelt like it was a lifesaver in order to hide the fact that both his hands were shuddering with nerves. Another few metres, and the car would have exceeded his vertical comfort zone – yet would still be nowhere near the top of the wheel.
"Hey, look! It's Larry!" Phoenix's grin nearly reached his ears as he pointed to a small figure waving frantically at them from the ground. Miles closed his eyes enough to block out the nauseating reminder of just how high this ferris wheel intended to go.
"Wright, I...I feel sick..." muttered Edgeworth, noticing that his hands were clammy and his heart was once again slamming itself against his ribcage like a prisoner trying desperately to break down a cell wall.
"It's just the candyfloss. You must have eaten more than we thought..."
"Wright...I really don't think -"
"Edgeworth, if you think you're going to throw up, just put your head over the side," advised Phoenix, whose smile rapidly dropped off upon catching a glimpse of his friend's face. He was beginning to realise that Miles wasn't joking.
"Look, here." Phoenix gave the boy's head a slight shove so that he was looking out over the edge of the car with his head parallel to the ground, which was by this time about 80 feet below them. The jolt surprised Miles, and caused his eyes to snap open.
Oh...my ...God...
His piercing scream sliced through Phoenix's head, shattering the tranquillity of the balmy afternoon air. The people in the car below them looked up at the sound, just in time to see Miles collapse, his entire body convulsing with sobs, into the arms of his very startled friend.
"Phoenix...Phoenix...help me..."
Phoenix noticed with a dreadful lurch of guilt that the smaller boy's clenched fists were shaking badly and there were terrified tears crawling out from under his eyelids.
"Hey, Edgeworth, it's OK. It's just a ferris wheel."
"I...I d-don't...like h-heights..." Miles' usually eloquent turns of phrase had disintegrated. He was clinging to Phoenix tightly as he whimpered like a wounded animal, both eyes wrenched shut.
Calm down...I've got to calm down...
15 years on: April 2017
District Court
Courtroom no. 4
"Mr. Edgeworth? Mr. Edgeworth?"
"Nnnghh..." Edgeworth tensed visibly and fixed both eyes firmly on the judge, away from the defense's bench. A hot flush had slowly begun to creep up his neck, but, assuming it had something to do with his cravat being too tight, the prosecutor pushed all irrelevant thoughts out of sight and tried to collect himself in front of the judge.
Damn it...why can't I ever enjoy a single moment of peace...
"Mr. Edgeworth, I was about to suspend the proceedings for today and postpone this trial. Does the prosecution have anything to add?"
"N-No, Your Honour," stuttered Edgeworth, heaving a mental sigh of relief. At last, this wretched ordeal was over for the day and he could retreat home, safely out of the presence of...
"Mr. Wright?" The judge shot a quizzical look towards the defense attorney.
"The defense has no objections, Your Honour," stated Phoenix nonchalantly, sticking both hands into his pockets and giving Edgeworth some slightly odd looks out of the corner of his eye. Miles only distinctly heard the weak tapping of the judge's gavel as he declared the court in recess and dismissed both lawyers. With a shuddering sigh, he dragged his papers off the table and crammed them distractedly into the immaculate leather briefcase that seemed to permanently dangle from one of his hands.
Stupid, frivolous little memories...swarming like vermin...
Wright swung the door of the courtroom open, held it there with his foot for a few seconds, finished fiddling with the clasp of his own briefcase, and turned, ready to exit the room. Edgeworth desperately began to open his mouth, to say something that would stop him, hold him there for a few, precious seconds...
"Have you really never had candyfloss before? Not even once?"
"W-Wright..."
"Hey, Edgeworth. It's OK. It's just a ferris wheel..."
Miles' voice sounded strained as he reached out his hand, fingers outstretched, in a last attempt to stop his opponent from leaving.
"Phoenix...Phoenix...help me..."
"What is it?" The defense attorney turned and gave him a quizzical glance, which he was unable to drop once he caught sight of the expression on his opponent's face. Saying that Phoenix was startled would have been an understatement. He could hardly keep himself from staring directly into Edgeworth's eyes, which seemed to have misted over with a haze of nostalgia...
...no, it couldn't be nostalgia...it was too intense for that...
Phoenix had had enough of this confusing silence. He cleared his throat, and subconsciously drew closer to his friend, noticing that his heart was drumming crazily...
"Edgeworth, what-"
He never finished the sentence.
What...does he think he's doing...
Phoenix's face flushed hot, burning scarlet and his heartbeat leapt to ten, one hundred, one thousand times its normal pace, as he registered...
...that just now...
...Miles Edgeworth...his friend, his ally, his rival...
...had darted forwards and captured Phoenix's lips...
...in a swift, gentle kiss...
This...this is insane...
Phoenix felt his eyelids slowly begin to close, his heart pounding, drinking in the moment, the strange, slightly frightening feeling. Edgeworth relaxed, and draped both his arms over Wright's shoulders, his hands creeping round the defense attorney's back and pulling him closer as he continued the kiss. Smiling inwardly, the prosecutor closed his eyes, drowning out the rest of the world in that one, delicious moment.
It was sweet.
Almost as sweet as candyfloss.