Disclaimer: Do not continue use of this product if symptoms persist for more than 10 days... um, wait, you know what I mean...
Author's Note: The latest in my anti-angst campaign. I've got a cold, so I'm really not in charge of my full facillities, which explains this fic. Continuity doesn't exist, no spoilers unless you've never seen the show.
"AHCHOOOO!" Dust billowed away from Buffy, and she wiped her nose with the hankerchief wrapped around her hand.
"You really can go home, we're totally capable of patrolling without you," Willow said.
"No," Buffy replied. "It's my sacred duty *sniff*, and I'm going to carry it out. Oh, God, my head feels like it's about to explode." She sat down on the edge of a nearby crypt and sonorifically blew her nose.
Xander stood up and dusted off his pants. "Really, Buffy, if you don't get some rest, this cold could become a lot worse."
"I took the last three nights off. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired! But maybe we'll just do one more cemetary and call it quits."
"Northside is the nearest," Willow pointed out.
"Nuh uh, missy, it's also been closed to new interrments since 1954." Buffy sniffed, and then stood up. "But we can use it as a shortcut to get to Golden Pines."
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"Tonight is the night!" The squat, pusbag of a demon roared. Well, actually, what it roared sounded more like glarglesnarfburblesnech, but this computer has been fitted with a Demon-English translator. "Tonight we will see our final triumph in the Klarwagian battle of Good versus Evil! Who is Good?"
"The Klarwagians!" roared the half dozen other squat, pusbag Klarwagian demons gathered nearby.
"Who is Evil?" The leader asked.
"Everything else!"
"Go! Destroy all that is evil!"
The demons let out what for them would be considered a cheer but to hujman ears sounds like a cross between an underwater destruction derby and a spoon going down the garbage disposal, and began tearing up the headstones and monuments, with three going immediatley over to the archway over the entrance that said "Northside Memorial Park" and knocking it over. Like you didn't see that coming.
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"Achoo!"
"Twenty-three."
"ACHOO!"
"Twenty-four"
"Achoo achoo achoo!"
"Twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven!"
"Xander, stop that!
"Achoo!"
"Why? I bet she's on her way to a world record for continuous sneezing. Twenty-eight."
Willow glared at him. Buffy sneezed again and said, "Do you guys hear that?"
"Twenty-nine. Yeah, sounds like a spoon in the garbage disposal."
Willow shook her head. "No, more like an underwater destruction derby. And it sounds like it's coming from Northside."
"It is coming achoo! From Northside." Buffy pulled a small axe from the waistband of her pants. "You guys stay back."
"You know us," Xander said, taking off the backpack he was carrying and removing two crossbows. "We're the backup."
Buffy ran up to the first demon which immediatly yelled, "Kill the Evil!" and attacked her. She went on the offensive, striking many a mighty blow to the demon. It didn't seem to have any effect, other than to alert its closest comrade, which waded into the fight with tentacles swinging. She was now fighting two of them, and it was taking all her concentration not to be knocked down. A sneeze started welling up in the back of her throat, and she knew if it got out she's close her eyes for a second, and all would be lost...
"AH-CHOOOOO!"
The demon exploded. Literally. Pus went flying everywhere. Her other attacker screamed like a girly-Klarwagian and ran away. Of course, it was a girly-Klarwagian, but let's not quibble. "Wow. That's a new one," Buffy remarked.
"Buffy! Help!" Willow screamed, as a Klarwagian grabbed her around the waist and dangled her above its mouth like a worm on a hook.
"Hey guys! I sneezed on this one and it exploded!"
"Well, come sneeze on the one that's got Willow!" Xander suggested.
"I-- I don't need to."
"What?"
"I seem to have run out of sneezes."
"Well, go to the store and get some more! Uff!" Xander said, getting knocked twenty-five yards by a tentacle.
"Oh, wait, here we go, hey ugly!" Buffy threw a stake at the Klarwagian that had Willow, and it turned towards her in surprise. "Want some of this? ah--- ah-- ahchoo!"
The Klarwagian exploded, and Willow fell to the ground with a *thud!* "Ow."
"Buffy! Sneeze a lot!" Xander said, running by her, being tailed by the last four Klarwagian. She caught them all with one mighty sneeze.
Surveying the slime-covered, semi-destroyed cemetary, she wiped her nose and said, "Guess I don't have an excuse to call in sick to work any more."
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SWS