Elfen Liner Notes & Other Songs : Elfen Lied Multiverse
by Rob Morris
WHAT SHOULD BE 2005, BUT ISN'T
Just a moment before, Lucy had been in shackles, riding out to be bound over by the Agent into the hands of Kakuzawa. Her heart had been ripped out by seeing Kouta shot, then again by his look of hate upon regaining his memories, and then once more by Kurama reminding her of how Aiko died.
Feeling numb, she did not realize she was standing in a boxed-off area, surrounded by over twenty like ones.
She heard Kouta speaking to her, but how was that possible? Wasn't he at least unconscious? Would he even want to speak to her? Yet he was awake, and he was speaking to her.
But what was he saying? And why was he holding an ornate sword, like he knew how to use it?
"Excuse me? I asked : Are you a Diclonius, a Mutant, or a Neo Sapien? If you are any of these scourges of the True Humanity, know that you will lose your miserable life, your head mounted on the wall of Koutana!"
Another voice now, that of Yuka-but stripped of all kindness? Damn it all, she resented what Yuka had but never her. So what was this thing with her voice?
"Koutana? Typical boy with a typical toy. You remind us of our cousin, smothered for his own good during a summer trip. We knew from his slovenliness and its correction that the only way to an ordered world was to rid ourselves of the Vast Impropriety. Now, the billion who remain embrace the proper will of Yukata."
Now came a gentle voice, made harsh by war - a war she had begun and gleefully waged, though in her view, the other side had struck first.
"I am Lady Major Mayu. Warriors like him wouldn't help us, when we cried out. Prim and proper types like her called us repulsive bothers, when they didn't ignore us. Now my Armies Of The Night take back the blood the abusers took from us-as only we can."
The vampire girl bared her fangs at the one called Koutana, who moved his sword supernaturally fast as a show of force. Behind the vampire girl, a hideous fanged beast with rows of teeth and eyes growled at all the competitors with an ear-splitting roar. Lady Major Mayu placed a hand gently on its forehead.
"Easy, Wanta-you'll feast on their entrails soon enough. But Mama goes first, as always."
The beast whimpered playfully, which was somehow even more unnerving. Yet this was not the most unnerving thing Lucy was to hear. A purple-haired, gentle-seeming girl spoke next.
"I used to be Experiment Number Four-I was almost in Room Seven, but there was an opening in Room Four, so I became Shi-Yon. Papa Kakuzawa taught me how all lives are meat, and I proved it with Dumb-Ass Kurama, Mean Granpa Kakuzawa, and my stupid STUPID little Auntie Anna with the big head and the squishy center. Shi-Yon is Number Four, and as Papa learned, Four Is Death, even for him. So I wait on the island, and they send soldiers, and then more soldiers, and finally-BIG NUKES! After I turned those back, they stopped sending people. So Shi-Yon is going to visit the mainland."
As if someone decided to catapult the insanity to ever-more dizzying heights, someone who looked like Nozomi took her turn. Her voice seemed to echo unto itself, and it was not a warm, gentle one.
"They tried. They tried finding those like me, with the extra vocal chords that sing to God. They put so many of us down, but those that remain took their revenge-by singing open the gates of Hell. We say now that those who speak with only one voice speak poorly, and should not speak at all. Papa tried so hard to stop me from singing. So I made sure my voice was all he heard as the song took him apart."
Another horror, though seeming more amusing than horrible, awaited in another booth, filled near to bursting with blonde-haired Diclonius-all of them identical.
"WE ARE MARIKO! THE WORLD IS MARIKO! PRAISE THE ONE TRUE DEITY - NOUSOU!"
A girl Lucy was soon to meet in her own world made her voice known as well.
"Nousou was a minor scientist my father hired, but disposed of when the surgery he performed cost me part of my right hand. Yet this also caused me to be able to open windows into other universes, like where all of you come from. I no longer wish to be part of my father's plan on the island city of Revelation. I was escaping with my Kouta-San...why have I lost track of him?"
Kurama appeared from the shadows of one box. He was sporting an eye patch and was well-armed, while wearing a black trench coat. He pointed at Lucy.
"You over there! You look like my top agent, Kaede-chan. Is this some sort of trick? Kurama, Agent Of HORNS, will not be held for long!"
It kept on from there. Bando as Captain Japan. Some kind of Frankenstein's Monster version of the idiot whose head she threw at Bando. A superhero named Devil Girl, who looked like Lucy herself in a dumb outfit. But the most disconcerting had to be one who spoke in sincerely gentle tones, a boy dressed in a monk's outfit.
"Please, everyone. You all seem hell-bent on conflict. I am prepared to meet your violence, in order to shut it down, but it brings me no joy and only pain. Peace is its own reward, and it never runs out. These are the words of His Ambassador Of Peace. These are the words of Tomoo...I...HEY!"
The Wanta-Beast had bounded over and promptly ate perhaps the only nice version of Tomoo in all of creation. Lady Major Mayu rolled her eyes.
"Dumb Dog! I told you to wait! Ohhh-there's none left for me...Wanta?"
The beast's many limbs flew off one at a time, until finally its head splattered at Lady Major Mayu's feet. The Vampire Girl looked up and snarled at the purple-haired girl floating above.
"You Bitch!"
Shi-Yon floated, smiled and sung.
"Killed The Doggie, Killed The Doggie, Killed The Doggie Really Dead..."
As the vampire met the Diclonius who would have been her sister in Lucy's world, both seized their ears before their insides exploded and burned.
"Your singing offended the true singers, who have taken your world as their own."
But Nightmare-Nozomi was savagely split down the middle from head to crotch by a mystic blade, wielded by a boy she might have fancied.
"Koutana will not allow a displacer of the True Humanity to endure, from any world."
A shadow fell upon Koutana, leaping on him and snapping his neck.
"YOU GOT BLOOD ON MY KIMONO, IDIOT! Oh, how many times do I have to put my cousin down?"
As Yukata slapped at the corpse, the chaos escalated.
"WE ARE MARIKO! WE ATTACK NOW THE HEIR OF THE FALSE GOD KAKUZAWA!"
But that version of Anna Kakuzawa merely gestured, and the many, many Marikos fell through a window she made out of thin air. Lucy looked over in amazement. Anna shrugged.
"I sent them to an underwater city-that was about to be bombarded and destroyed by the debris from an airborne city as it fell. What? There are timelines where they both exist together. Oh, who cares-outta here."
Before long, everyone except Lucy was dead or gone. Yukata's neck and spine were shattered by the discus-like shield of Captain Japan, who in turn was shot by Agent of HORNS Kurama, who activated a dimensional-return failsafe and vanished. Devil Girl then used her demon-vision to create a portal back to her world. Lucy stared about and found that carnage not her own had little to no appeal.
"Hello?! I'm alone here."
Lucy was too shaken by what she had seen to move. A new voice, apologetic, finally answered.
"Ummm-this was all just a bad dream. You ate some bad Somen noodles. Yeah, that's the ticket. Somen Noodles. Now go home."
Lucy found herself back in the transport copter, seeing a suddenly concerned Agent.
"What's with you? It's like you vanished, but you didn't. You try and crash us, I'll take you out before that happens, guaranteed."
Lucy shook her head.
"Not that. Not feeling good. I-ate some bad Somen Noodles."
The Agent winced.
"On that one thing alone, even you have my sympathy. Yeah. Some bad noodles once gave me real nightmares. Freaky stuff."
Back in the other place, the Vargas elders nodded in agreement, regarding this utter failure of a multiversal tournament.
"It's decided, then. From now on, we inform the participants in advance. Also, next time?-we go with Saiyans."