Set in a vague AU after the events of Fate/Stay Night and Fate/Strange Fake

A Date of Three

Waver Velvet had always been an oddball. He was considered strange as a kid when he openly tried magecraft in front of his non-mage friends. As a young adult, he was considered strange because of his 'ridiculous' theories which stated that one needn't have a strong lineage to be an excellent magus. As Lord El-Melloi II, his grumpy attitude, his simple background and the unorthodox, scientific approach to magecraft alienated him from the rest of the mob.

And yet, even he felt as if he was having the strangest first date one could ever have. At the age of 31, Waver managed to have his first date with a Japanese woman he randomly met around twelve years ago. He found her again by sheer coincidence and some prodding by his student, Tohsaka Rin. However, that wasn't even the absurd part of the date. In fact, the most ridiculous part of the date was the imbecile, Flatt Escardos, sitting with the two, swiftly moving his head between them like a referee in a tennis match.

Waver gave his date, Fujimura Taiga a nervous glance. She was dressed in a dark blue dress, a fancy gown that was too rich for a casual date. She sat stiff, her eyebrows were drawn together as if she wanted to look confident, even though it only made her look nervous. "Fuck..." he mumbled under his breath, he knew he was equally nervous and helpless without his cigar to calm his nerves.

"You're sweating, Master V," Flatt stood up to wipe the older man's face with the table cloth, much to his annoyance. His face turned red as anger and embarrassment filled him. But at the same time he couldn't lose his cool on his first date. He curled his lips into a wry smile and gently pushed Flatt's hand away.

The strange date between the English Magus and the Japanese woman had a long story and a long struggle involved behind it. Waver never thought he'd ever have feelings for someone but in an unexpected turn of events he ended up developing a small crush on the kendo sporting English teacher. Although he never admitted his feelings, Waver jumped the moment she asked him out on a date. It was a dream for someone like him, who was always holed up in his room and obsessed with videogames to be asked out by someone.

He wondered if he had to speak first as social norms demand. But at the same time he had a rebellious streak inside him that always made him go against the norm and thus Waver Velvet remained silent, waiting for the woman to speak first. The waiter arrived, carrying two bowls of steaming soup on his plate, the starter for the full course meal. As he placed the bowls on the table, he paused for a second, realizing there were three people instead of just two when he had taken the order.

For a second the waiter gave Flatt Escardos the most puzzled look the Lord had ever seen in his life. Waver couldn't blame him, anyone with half a brain would guess that the overzealously dressed young woman and he was a couple on a date. The strange young man who seemed to have no qualms awkwardly sitting by a table arranged for two however, seemed to be ignorant of that fact.

Realizing the added member would cause him trouble, Waver slowly slipped a bill without his date noticing. The waiter nodded understandingly, taking the unexpected tip with an indifferent expression, as if he wasn't secretly taking a bribe at all.

He shifted his gaze back to his date. Fujimura Taiga wordlessly took the bowl into her hands as if to gulp it down the steaming hot soup like orange juice. He could see a tear trickle down her eye as she felt the heat in her hands. She hastily yet gently placed the bowl back, giving him a grin characteristic of her.

Waver honestly wondered how the goofy and energetic woman managed to maintain her calm so far. As much as he didn't want more embarrassment than what Flatt was giving them, he still found it out of character for the brown-haired woman to remain so silent. 'It must be the atmosphere', he realized. He was grateful that there was more than one person with common sense on the table.

As he awkwardly glanced at his date, their eyes met and Waver felt blood rush up his face. He prayed to god that she wouldn't notice him gush like a teenager. Luckily she seemed to be as uncomfortable, thus saving him from an—

"Wow, you're blushing!"

Waver mentally wished to throw the hot soup onto his student's face, who was extremely observant when he wasn't needed to be. The anger inside him was raging like a volcano, which was only doubled when Taiga let out a chuckle. "I'm really sorry!" She slightly bowed in apology but continued to laugh. "But your face looks really red."

Waver gritted his teeth as he saw people in the adjoining tables overhear them, and then looked at him before giving him an amused smile. His grip on the spoon he was holding tightened and he repeatedly cursed his fair skin that betrayed his embarrassment and the existence of Flatt Escardos, for the embarrassment. "Okay," he mumbled.

"You don't really have to get that mad at him," she gave him an optimistic smile. "Flatt doesn't mean any harm." She turned to the blond, "The more the merrier right?"

'Then why don't you bring your entire family to the date,' he wanted to say, but the Lord realized he had to control his anger unless he wanted to spoil his first date. Besides, having a third person actually made him feel more comfortable for some reason. "Well it's not like we have a fu—freaking choice."

Taiga narrowed her eyebrows for a second, not missing the swear word he almost said. "Master V, you don't have to worry about me!" Flatt exclaimed. "You can pretend as if I don't exist." Flatt said, although he didn't seem to plan to budge from his seat.

'I wish you didn't exist,' he wanted to say, but held his tongue. "It's really amazing that the two of us are teachers!" Taiga spoke, initiating the conversation. "I never get to learn much about what you teach!" She seemed excited at the prospect of learning about his career.

But as much as Waver wanted to explain, he had to keep magecraft a complete secret from her. He wasn't planning on hiding the fact forever, but the date was just so unexpected. He decided to tell her about magecraft after discussing it with Shero and Rin but at the same time he wanted to have at least one successful date before his potential relationship ended.

"Master V is really good at Thaumaturgy!" Flatt jumped excitedly. "I love his classes so much!"

Fuck!

Taiga blinked, a bit confused. "Thaumaturgy...?" She gave Waver a puzzled look.

"Thermodynamics," the lord said, pretending to correct. The urge to throw the soup on Flatt's face only increased with the seconds passing. He gave the blond a stern glare, as if to remind him the instructions he gave shortly after Flatt barged into the date. "Physics is a broad subject but I specialize in thermodynamics."

"I thought you taught Chemistry," Taiga raised an eyebrow, then quickly gave a silly smile. "Maybe I remembered wrong. I mix them up a lot, oops~" She laughed off her falsely placed embarrassment.

He sighed in relief, but so did someone else in the table nearby. Being a professor meant he had a keen sense of observation. He was known for catching students escaping the class through the back door without even looking in the direction.

Suspicious, he shifted his gaze to the table to his right and spotted a red-haired boy and a black-haired girl, their faces covered with an obvious disguise. 'Nosy whippersnappers,' he silently cursed but acted as if he didn't see anything. For some reason Shero and Rin were snooping on his date and he didn't like it. Suddenly Waver felt like throwing the soup on Flatt's face and walk back home.

"Are you okay?" Taiga asked.

'No,' he wanted to scream, but he forced a smile. "Yes, but I have one question. Whose idea was this dress?"

The brunette looked at him, puzzled for a second. "You got me, ehe~" The cute noise she made him blush again and once again he cursed himself. "It was Rin." Waver could feel that his face was still hot and he desperately tried to ignore it, but it only proved to make him blush even more fiercely and then he began to loathe his entire existence.

He heard a snicker somewhere and found out that it was Rin. And at that point, he snapped and completely lost any control. He picked up the bowl of steaming hot soup and tossed it at the table where Rin sat. The contents of the bowl spilled all over the place as it flew towards Rin but the magus quickly ducked and the bowl ended up hitting an old woman sitting by the table next to Rin. The woman was knocked off the chair after being struck right on the head.

For a second Waver watched with a blank face in astonishment as the people surrounded the old woman, meanwhile the man on the table next to him yelled as the hot soup rained all over his expensive shirt.

Waver Velvet wanted his first date to be memorable, but not like this.