Seventeen. Dipper and Mabel spending summer in Gravity Falls. No AU.

"I'm sorry, I don't-"

"I'm not saying you had to like me back, Dipper!" she was fighting the childish urge to cross her arms and stomp her foot, complete with chin held high.

This was beyond frustrating and maybe, if she were being honest, slightly demeaning.

A part of her, her pride really, was dead center trying to keep standing - too high strung to take a knee. So what if a boy didn't like her back? It shouldn't be the end of the world.

But still, she has to admit it hurts. Her chest stung, actually, like a lot. A lot.

A person shouldn't live with their chest hurting at all. Let alone for a boy. I mean c'mon, of all things it had to be for a boy?

How did Pacifica Northwest manage to get herself caught up in such a stupid mess again?

Don't lose, she could hear her all too important father breathing down her neck.

It's amazing how a mess like this could bring back that neglected child. The kid who held her pride over everything.

It wasn't fair.

She felt ready to crawl out of her skin. This situation wasn't helping at all.

"Look, can we pretend this never happened?" she made nonhelpful gestures.

"Paci-"

"Dipper, c'mon, let's not make this a big deal," she said through gritted teeth. She didn't notice when her hands balled into fists.

She wasn't going to walk away, that was too cliché and she was just asking more heart ache if she expected him to come after her.

No, she didn't need that.

What she needed was for him to understand. Right here, right now.

"Look, so now you secretly know that I secretly li - have feelings for you. It's not a big deal. We'll move on with our lives, we don't have to talk about it, Dipper."

He had a hand awkwardly massaging the back of his neck and god damn her if she still found that endearing. He wasn't helping matters at all. She huffed, annoyed.

Here she was feeling mortified, badly beaten and, on top of everything, she was fighting back salt from her eyes and acid from her mouth. She had to keep reminding herself to not take out her wounded pride on him, Pacifica didn't need something to add to the growing list of things she was ashamed of.

She felt so many competing things and all he probably felt was awkwardness and uneasiness…

It was a testament of how far she regressed when she caught herself thinking good, he deserves it.

She shouldn't be around someone who could easily bring back that side of her.

She moved to sit on the grubby couch on the Mystery Shack's porch. Dipper caught her right before she was about to leave, having spent the day upstairs in the attic with Mabel.

"Look, Dipper," the proud Northwest's voice came out as a mealy whisper, "we're seventeen. We've known each other since we were twelve. We've been on adventures and near death experiences… what I'm - what I'm trying to say is, it was bound to happen, okay?" she said with her gaze straight ahead lost in the woods.

Pacifca sensed more than saw him drag his feet to sit next to her. Oh, now she was hyper aware of him too? Jesus Christ.

When he didn't say anything, she continued.

"You wanted me to be honest when you asked me why I've been avoiding you since you guys got here, it was bound to be uncomfortable, Dip," she shrugged her shoulders. You could almost pretend that his non rejection wasn't bothering her.

He audibly swallowed.

That annoyed her.

"And you not saying at all really doesn't help the situation," she couldn't keep the ire out of her voice. At least it wasn't acid.

Dipper gave a chopped up chuckle. The boy cleared his throat a couple of times before finally following through but not without pauses between.

"I don't know why, Paz, but I feel like, I don't know," he leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees and ran a hand down his face, "Like maybe I'm disappointing you."

Cue bag of bricks to already sinking heart. Nice.

Pacifica closed her eyes and massaged her brow with the thumb and forefinger of one hand but stopped when she realized it was habit she picked up from him. An involuntary aggravated huff came out of her.

How much harder was this going to fucking get?

"Look, Dipper," she growled, "first things first," she finally looked at him, she needed to get her point across, "I'm not asking anything from you," she said emphatic.

"I'm not an idiot, maybe I am for being honest, but I kind of knew you didn't feel the same way," she gritted her teeth and scrunched up her face, "I don't know, it just felt like high time I told you, you know?"

Although she felt the overwhelming urge to leave so she could recuperate and gather but she needed to close this. Dipper was her friend. Her best friend.

He was the boy who was bluntly honest with her - the courageous idiot who wasn't afraid to knock her down a few pegs. She needed him as a friend more than she needed him to like her back.

"Do you understand?"

He nodded his head, "ngh, it still doesn't keep me from feeling crummy."

She laughed because he sounded like he was twelve again and just as sulky.

She smiled looking at her muddy shoes. She might have been jilted but there was always something soft about his company.

It was nice how the silence wasn't thick anymore.

From the corner of her eye she could see Dipper watching the sun setting between the pine trees ahead.

She felt her cheeks flush because c'mon, everything about him, down to his awkwardness and bird's nest hair, was charming.

Pacifica moved to stand which made Dipper snap his neck to her.

"Leaving already?" he sounded anxious.

"Yea, got to get home," she stretched her back, "I kind of spent the day making dresses with Mabel. I'm probably going to spend the night washing glitter off my hair," she joked and he chuckled.

Dipper stood up as she made her way to her car.

"We're still on for Greasy's tomorrow right?" he looked itchy by the way his face was awkwardly contorted and his feet was shuffling like he didn't know what to do with himself.

Pacifica couldn't hide the fond smile that he naturally brought out of her. Instead of her pride revolting she felt a tiny lift in her chest.

"Of course, dummy."

You guys, you don't know how difficult it is to write a character when you haven't finalized a headcanon for them.

I like Pacifcia. I don't know why I like her. But idk. I have this idea in my head that's she's sarcastic, independent and mean when she needs to be. But it's hard to translate that into work without getting all wordy or explain-y. I want to show than tell.

I can imagine her accompanying Dipper while he does groceries for the Shack and just like shaking her head like no, Dipper, that's not how you do groceries. And just putting back the random things he puts in the cart and putting in practical things the Shack really needs like paper towels.

And my god, she's going to be smart. Because she's rich and of course her parents are going to shell out for the best tutors and fine arts teachers. She knows how to draw I'm pretty sure. In this story I'm making her help Dipper with sketching a lay out of all the creepy hidden parts of Gravity Falls. But Idk how to write that yet.

She's going to be proud. It comes with the upbringing. She's figuring out how to balance her pride without you know over doing it.

I need more headcanons for Pacifica Northwest. She's just not this obedient neglected kid who displaces her anger.

She's not insecure, I'm adamant about that at least.

She reminds me of Helga Pataki and Cindy Vortex mixed together.

But I don't want to push into a mould. I want to wait until Alex shows us more of her before deciding who she really is.

And Dipper. How do you even describe Dipper? He's this eager kid who's on the brink of falling into being himself. If that makes sense. He's a dork with low self-esteem but at the same time he's himself… what.

Maybe this whole Gravity Falls summer is really him building up his confidence.

If you made it all the way down here, share me your headcanons and type in banana.

Yes, this will be a multi-chap. They're going on an adventuuure!