Title: Not Worth It

Author: Littlestkitten (saratu on lj)

Rating: PG-13

Fandom: Naruto and Pirates of the Caribbean crossover

Paring: Kakashi/Jack Sparrow (WTF?)

Warnings: Random crack. And narration from an unnamed oc.

Word Count: 666 (I'm not even kidding)

Summary: From now on he was staying away from ninja. No matter how good in bed they may or may not be.

AN: From the prompt of: "The ninjas capture a pirate! His/her sordid love affair with the character of your choice threatens everything either of them have ever believed in! (Lol)" I didn't quite get the complete prompt in but I figured this was good enough. And please feel free to point out any mistakes.

It had all started out so simply. After his mother had died he'd tried to make something of himself. Got a steady job as a cabin boy on some ship and set out to sail. His old man had been a sailor and he'd figured that the sea must be in his blood or somethin'. How was he supposed to know it was a pirate ship? And one with a crazy ass captain as well. Always singing about rum and "pretty bad eggs". What the hell were those anyway? Was it some euphemism for pirate weirdness, or something? And what sorta captain sang?

And then suddenly there were these freaky ass ninjas attacking him yelling something about giving back "the goods". He'd tried his best to fight, as had the rest of the crew, but ninjas were just freaks. Freaky freaks who needed to not take things so seriously. So what if his captain had run off on some gambling debt and stole fifty barrels of sake belonging to the huge-breasted women they called Hokage? And what the hell was a Hokage, anyway?

His opinion of ninjas hadn't been that great beforehand but now it was even worse. He was convinced they were all insane. First there was that blond boy (and what sort of ninja wore a bright orange jump-suit, weren't they supposed to be sneaky?), who acted like the biggest idiot ever born but who actually managed to kick ass when it came down to it. The pink-haired chick was even worse. She acted all sweet but if you so much as looked at her the wrong way she sent you through the deck and into the hold with one punch. He'd only wanted to feel the quality of shirt, honest, it's not like it was his fault his hand and slipped and accidentally fondled her. Despite the weirdness of his teammates, the other boy of the team wasn't that bad, once you got over his strange obsession with penises. Why were all ninja gay?

The three younger ones didn't hold a candle to their superior though. Now that was one weird man. First, he wore a mask at all times, even when eating. Secondly, he read porn in public. While fighting. Not even his captain was crazy enough to do that. And if he'd learned one thing in his time on-board the pirate ship it was that his captain was crazy. As a loon, or a fox, or any other equally crazy animal. The strange man also had the weirdest hair he'd ever seen. What sort of person dyed their hair grey? And why couldn't he bother straightening his weird forehead plate thingy, was he really that lazy?

What really convinced him of the craziness of ninja, however, was that one of them was crazy (or stupid) enough to get involved with the captain. And not in a go out and get drunk together involved either. No, this was a full on making out behind the mast sort of involved. And the bizarre ninja even giggled when they were caught. Giggled! What sort of man giggled? No, if he was sure of one thing it was that ninja were insane. And his captain was even more insane. In fact, if they had a battle of insanity he wasn't sure who would win.

He made a pact with himself and his rum right then and there. At the next port he was leaving and never looking back. And he would steer clear of any ninja villages. No matter how much his captain swore up and down that ninjas were masters in the bedroom. For all he knew that could mean he'd after to enter into some weird S&M relationship. Or have to be tied up in those freaky traps of theirs. Not that he minded a little bondage now and then, but being tied upside down from a tree was not his definition of a good time. No, ninja were definitely not worth it.