Disclaimer: I do not own anyone, and could only dream of making money. All the characters are property of Janet Evanovich. I am simply playing around.
What to give up?
By Julia (screaminbanchee)
Tomorrow is the beginning of lent. I still haven't picked out something to give up yet. I briefly considered forgetting it all together, but at my age, its best to stay on his good side. Not to mention the fuss Ellen would make. I cannot believe that she is my daughter.
Ellen recommended me giving up bingo. What she doesn't know is that bingo is our code word for going to the strip club. I could give that up, but I think I deserve to have some fun. I put my time in being the good wife and mother.
Viewings are out. Couldn't go forty days without the scoop. I could give up dying my hair, but that could be bad. I may meet a stud muffin, and he might think I am a stick in the mud with grey hair.
I could give up my gun. Nah, its never good for me to not have protection. Plus, my granddaughter Stephanie might need backup. Who would she call? Well she would call the bounty hunter with a nice package, but she isn't having any fun with him. I can tell. She doesn't think anyone knows, but I seen the difference in her after that night. Plus she told us at dinner he was out of town. Shame, that only leaves the one with the nice rear. His package isn't bad. Its just not as good as the others. To bad he doesn't understand her, otherwise it would be good to hang on to him.
I guess I am going to have to go with giving up my night time nips. Since I wont be able to sleep easily, maybe I should start another fight with Frank. Then I can move in with my granddaughter Stephanie. It will help keep the Italian Stallion in line, till the bounty hunter gets back in town. And there will be plenty of action to make me tired at night. The perfect plan.
Well Ellen is calling everyone for dinner. Better take my new stun gun with me. Ellen took the old stun gun, but this new one is a pip. It looks like a simple cell phone. I think I need to make sure its strong enough to protect me. Frank is the size of a normal attacker, plus he called me crazy old coot at lunch….
A/N: Picture of the stun gun she has is in my folder, or on the link with a full description. I think this could be used to come up with some really funny stories. I tried, but it didn't work well.