Durarara! belongs to Ryohgo Narita.
Time is a curious thing.
If one were to think too much about it, it could be too much of a nuisance to even comprehend, and even trying to figure it out would result in some sort of failure.
Or, one could reach a conclusion that they have only so much time left in this world, and feel a serge of panic.
But regardless of how one measures time, and the time one has left, it cannot even be imagined how it must feel to not have to worry about time.
Time doesn't exist.
Or so it's said.
While others have wanted nothing more than to live forever, thinking it to be a wonderful blessing, pine for an answer, they find none.
Then, there are those lucky few, or so they're considered to be, who are given what those others had wanted. But to them, it's nothing but a curse.
The city was the same, with the sounds of only a few people walking around in the nightlife, as they had every other night. It was always the same, and there was nothing exciting or new about the pattern. Especially to the certain individual who was watching from above, dull crimson eyes surveying the crowd, searching...searching...searching...and finding nothing.
What am I expecting...
The eyes close and open again, their owner's head turning away from the crowd and back to the darkness of the rooftop, now searching there, hoping to find something, but knowing that it will never appear before him.
Every single night, the individual would come out to Ikebukuro, sitting on the same rooftop and watching the world below, waiting...waiting, as he always had for countless days.
Why do I keep waiting?
And then, as he always did, he would climb down the stairs on the side of the building, reaching the cold cement of the sidewalk, making his way back to his apartment. Hands in his pockets, he feels the cool metal of his switchblade in one, the slick and slightly warm surface of his cellphone in the other. Sighing, he takes one final look behind him, hoping for some sign...and nothing. He turns back to head home, giving up another night.
It's been almost an hour now, the streets quiet and deserted. The individual walks slowly to his destination, that same and continuous feeling hovering above him, the feeling he had every night since-
The familiar and haunting call of a stallion interrupts his thoughts, looking up as the Black Rider is now before him.
"Izaya."
Her cellphone screen reads, her yellow cat helmet shining under the streetlamp.
"Celty." The man replies, with a nod of his head.
The other also nods, quickly typing up something to show to her companion.
"So you still go to Ikebukuro each night, huh?"
A nod is her reply.
The dullahan takes in the appearance of the man who used to be one of Ikebukuro's most dangerous men, now less menacing. His hair is almost an inch longer, he wears a simple pair of black jeans and a navy blue jacket. He could almost pass for a college student. Although, his true age would suggest otherwise.
"What are you hoping to find, Izaya? You obviously aren't doing your human observation like you used to."
The other is silent for a moment before he replies.
"It helps me to think...to clear my thoughts. What else is there to do? Human observation is pointless now. Each generation is the same as the last. The people aren't evolving, but the technology is. Everyone remains the same. It's become...boring."
The dullahan remains motionless before she types again.
"I understand. I never had understood your hobby, but as long as it has been since you've been doing it, it would get dull."
"...Mhm..."
There is a heavy silence in the air as the woman makes a sighing motion with her shoulders, entering something else on her keypad, showing it to her companion.
"Izaya...do you miss him?"
The brunette's face hasn't bore his masks in so long, that he doesn't even remember how to use them, or even care to, anyway. There is a blank expression on his face, before there is a hint of something in his eyes, something like regret. But, there is also a small smile on his face. It's sad, but it's a smile.
"...I don't know." He admits with uncertainty, feeling that an answer should be given, although it is clearly not honest. Wanting to distract from himself, to receive more time to think about a proper response, he redirects the answer. "And you? Do you miss...you know..."
Celty lowers what would be her head underneath her helmet, making, yet again, another sighing motion with her shoulders before showing a reply.
"Every single day. It's gotten easier. But, if I think too much about him, I don't know what to do with myself. So I drive around and try to clear my head." She pauses and shows her phone again. "Ironic in a way, but it does help. Just like how you come to Ikebukuro to clear yours."
"...Ah..."
"That seems to be what you've been doing, Izaya. You think too much about it, to the point that you're still looking for him. He's not going to show up, and you know that. But you keep looking...why do you keep looking?"
It was then, after reading the words on the screen, that he could come up with a true answer.
"...Because I refuse to believe that he doesn't exist anymore. I'm living with regrets...so many regrets..." His body starts trembling as he covers his face with his hands, turning his body away. "...Celty I...I can't stand this...this curse. I thought that I would be happy like this, but I'm not. I'm not happy at all. If anything, I'm miserable. I can't live in a world where I still have such a strong bond to the past. I can't forget..."
Celty moved closer and put a soothing hand around the other's shoulder, trying to relax her companion, understanding what he was going through.
"That's why I distanced myself from everyone...that's why I said that I loved all human beings equally. I didn't want to gain an attachment to anyone, for this very reason. But he...he was the only one who still managed to do even that. And now...now that he's gone, I feel an even stronger attachment..."
He isn't able to continue, silent tears rolling down his face as he starts to slowly break, never having opened up about this in all of the years that had passed, Celty being his only companion, the only one he could trust anymore.
"This is the wonderful reward of living forever." It is obviously sarcasm typed on the small screen, Celty shaking her head and then showing it again. "Sometimes I wonder if I would be happier going back to my old life in Ireland, doing what a dullahan does...but then I remember that I've lived as a human for too long. So, I continue to live this way, and I'm content. I've experienced human emotions, and above all, I've experienced love. Shinra taught me that, and when he passed on, I wasn't left with any regrets."
Celty erases everything, hesitant, wondering if that was wise to say. It's proved as the wrong thing to have said, Izaya looking up with fresh tears in his eyes, trying to wipe them away on the sleeve of his jacket.
"Celty...I'm glad that you've gotten something out of your life..." He tried to say as sincerely as he could, taking in a deep breath before speaking again. "But how are you going to move on now? What are you...well, even...the both of us to do?" Izaya sighed quietly. "There's nothing left for me here. My reason for living is...it's gone... I had a chance to make more out of my life all those years ago but now...now my life is completely empty."
The dullahan takes a long moment as she thinks about what was said, considering how to respond to the broken man. She types something up again and shows it to him.
"Do you really feel as if you can't live anymore?"
Izaya doesn't even need to think twice as he shakes his head. "No. I can't."
Celty seems to have an answer ready for him, although the words seem to be an irrelevant answer to the current situation.
"Izaya, do you remember what happened to him?"
The other blinks, staring at the screen in confusion. "Celty...what does that have to-" The phone is practically pressed into his face, obviously Celty's way of telling him to just answer the question. "...Yes, he-...wait..." He paused for a long moment.
"So you don't remember what happened to him."
"But..." He took a moment, trying to figure it out. "Celty...I don't even recall what happened...do you know? He passed on just like Shinra did, right?"
"Shizuo had superhuman strength, but he wasn't immortal, Izaya. I imagine that he lived just as many years as any other human being."
"...But he-..."
The shoulders of the dullahan slumped as she shook her head yet again, showing the small screen.
"You had left, Izaya. You left for quite a few years before you came back a year ago. What was it, about fifty or so?"
"Time is irrelevant, Celty. It's only a state of mind." He pauses. "I really didn't want to leave, but I had to. It would be suspicious if I were to always look the same as everyone aged. "
"I know you didn't want to. Anyways, to those of us with this gift, or as you and I call it, a curse, time is indeed irrelevant. But it can still be measured, and it's important to think of it that way for now while we figure this out."
Izaya sighs, looking down at his hands with a defeated smile on his face. "So, he's gone, then. Of course he would be. It was foolish to think that idiot would be in the same predicament as myself..." The brunette lowers his head to hide his face, his expression away from view.
"...Izaya..." His companion gently pats his back again.
"Celty, I think I'd better head back now..."
There was a small pause. "I understand."
"I'm sorry..." Izaya lifts his head to look at his companion, his expression unreadable. "Thank you for this small talk...it was nice..." He gives a small and surprisingly genuine smile. "I'll see you again...perhaps tomorrow." There is an exchange of waves as they part ways, Celty looking after him as he walks back to his apartment in Shinjuku.
It was around one in the morning when the ex-informant woke from his slumber. It had become more and more difficult to sleep, living like this having become the unfortunate nightly routine. But the hours that he didn't sleep, he would make up for in the day time. It wasn't like he had anything better to do, each day consisting of eating, sleeping, and walking around between the cities of Shinjuku and Ikebukuro. He was becoming restless.
When would this nightmare end?
Hello, it's Milarius-san again.
I got this idea and had it circulating for a while, so I thought I'd put it here. I'm not used to writing 'angsty' stuff. But hey, there's a first time for everything, ne?
This story will be only a few chapters long...it's all planned out, beginning to end.
Reviews are loved~